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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/13/2008 2:44:34 PM | I notice you have children OP, could it be that your Ex's behavior hits a little too close to home? Are YOU being denied access due to non-payment?
Ha.
And I could assume the fact that you responded at all, denotes that you are dealing with the short end of that stick by your own logic. And assumption my pet , is the breeding ground of a F**k-up
And even if it did, it doesn't justify women using child support to scare men.
A child needs to be taken care of monetarily as well, but again....if he is the type of person that is so worthless that he will not help, then odds are he doesn't care about seeing the child anyway.
So what do you think your doing when you dangle the child in his/her face as a weapon? Nothing. GO TO COURT!
And to the lady that said withholding a child is not illegal, I would advise anyone here to refrain from listening to your legal advice.
VISITATION and SUPPORT are two completely different set of statutes and issues. If visitation is set by the court, and you told him he couldn't see the child and officer can enforce said agreement at ANY time. And you would have to deal with the police taking the child from your greedy, selfish, drama encrusted arms......just because you don't like your ex...or because he is happy with his new wife. (HA!! Which is part of the story the girl told me.)
If anything she get more upset when I have to WORK 6 days a week. and am short on time to spend.
And last but not least:
Food, clothing, roof over head, school supplies, life expensive.
All things that money can buy, that a child needs.
If the single parent is taking the BURDEN of the child FULL TIME, when the other wishes to SHARE custody, then you SHOULD be responsible.
That in no way means that the other parent should not provide.
But even so, why should the other parent pay your cable bill so you can stick the child in front of the damned TV then get online and search for men who "Better accept that you have children"??????
Unless you really are concerned about the childs well being, in which case you would be asking the ex to swing by and have a family outing, LIKE A GOOD PARENT, instead of telling them they cant SEE them...
MONETARY ASSISTANCE IS GOOD, but the child NEEDS two PARENTS.
IT CAN BE DONE WITH ONE, BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN IT SHOULD!
I can drive with ym FEET but that doesnt make it a GOOD IDEA!
Chris Rock said it best:
There is nothing you can say that can straighten a little boy out better an this. "I'm going to tell your father!"
I never knew the responses would be so angry, and bitter. Jeez! Take a grain of salt and chill! People get very angry when faced wit the truth....
No wonder politicians have to lie to the public about serious issues, because people like you freak when forced to face your own humanity.
Ever watched that show CHEATERS???
Every single time the person who is caught cheating realizes he is caught, and wrong for what they are doing they BLAME THE PERSON WHO CAUGHT THEM!!
as to say "How dare you catch me doing you wrong."
Same logic here...
Trolling to stir the pot and give you the opportunity to verbally abuse women, whom you seem to find as the enemy, except of course your sainted mother.
Do me a favor. You don't no me, you stalk my posts, and as far as I am concerned the only woman I despise would be you, you rickety...rickety fogey. Then again I do not know you so I would hope that you took that in jest.
Also, keep my mother from your foul mouth. I'd think she'd deserve better.
On a lighter note...I adore women!! For the most part they are much more eloquent than men, sensitive, caring nurturing, and intelligent. That is what a child needs.
(And me!!) I get a little anoyed...yes annoyed when a woman instead of REALIZING HER TRUE POTENTIAL blames her ex and daddy drama for her life now.
Away with crutches! IF the other parent isn't there it is up to you!
IS it fair NO! But where your child is concerned you should be willing to do ANYTHING! IF you have the time and resources to troll the net looking for love, then you should be at the Dept. Of Educations FAFSA site applying for financial aid to GO TO SCHOOL to make sure that JUST IN CASE the other mate isn't there, you are prepared to take care of the child, and not place the burden on your family, and the government!
Excuses! Done with them!
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/13/2008 3:27:35 PM | I never knew the responses would be so angry, and bitter. Jeez! Take a grain of salt and chill! People get very angry when faced wit the truth....
Gimme a fcuken break.
This whole thread has become nothing more than your personal vent against women/men who do this kinda thing.
If anyone has been malicious and judgemental and nasty here OP...its been YOU.
I already stated I never had to suffer any of this kinda crap because my ex hubby and I werent so fricken stupid to drag this kinda stuff into it....however...
...I sure could see...that if you and I shared a child OP....and *I* was on the opposing end of your morality tirade and you werent paying my child support...I sure as shit wouldnt make it easy for you to see your kid either.
No father...is better than an angry father.
Do the world a favor...with this law degree you're getting...go fight for and support the custodial parents who have to live in squalor with their child, who have to say no to their kids because they cant afford (whatever)... while the ex (employed or not) doesnt pay a fricken cent. | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/13/2008 3:36:50 PM | Ohhh you like me! You stalk my pooosts. You wann kisss me!
WOW!...just... wow...
...and failed the first time drunk eh?
...and dad was in your life you say?
Maybe mom shoulda put a stop to it... cos frankly....you're representing a poster child for every reason why she should have.
JMHO. | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/13/2008 3:41:49 PM |
And to the lady that said withholding a child is not illegal, I would advise anyone here to refrain from listening to your legal advice.
VISITATION and SUPPORT are two completely different set of statutes and issues. If visitation is set by the court, and you told him he couldn't see the child and officer can enforce said agreement at ANY time. And you would have to deal with the police taking the child from your greedy, selfish, drama encrusted arms......just because you don't like your ex...or because he is happy with his new wife. (HA!! Which is part of the story the girl told me.)
I can see why you failed your LSAT... 
You didn't start this thread stating that visitation had been "set by the Court"... You simply asked us to respond to what we thought of women who withheld the children from someone not paying support...
I have been working in law now for over 20 years and I have YET to see an access order that has an "enforcement clause" in it related to access which is what you are referring to... If such an order WAS made, it would only be made in the most dire of circumstances... I know this because no judge in the world would violate his or her mandate of making orders in the best interests of the child by making such an order. There is NOTHING in the best interests of the child when a child is suddenly whipped out of his or her mother's arms by the police. Now, having said that, a mother who is deliberately violating a court order may be found in contempt of that order but it still is not "illegal"... which means, "against the law".
The rest of your post is such pure nonsense that I'll let it speak for itself. | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/13/2008 3:45:45 PM | Here is one for you
In December of 1995 my first wife and I divorced. Her mother had a lot of money, and I was scared to fight her. I also knew nothing of family law at the time. She has never allowed me to see my kids to this day. In June of 2000 I told her that when I came back from being deployed, I was in the army, I wanted to start seeing my kids. If not then I was going to court to become the custodian parent. When I came back from being deployed she was gone, disappeared from the face of the earth. In April 2001 the support payments stopped due to me leaving the Army, I had an allotment going to a bank for it. In November of 2007 I found my oldest son, he is 19. In December 2007 he came to live with me, to finish his senior year of high school. I still don’t know where she is, he is not allowed to tell me, by orders of his mother.
Now she has been able to reach me since December 1988, yes well before the divorce, at the same address to this day.
She has filled my kids heads with packs of lies on how bad of a person I am, and that I NEVER paid support.
The first lawyer I had, told me I had to know where she was to take her to court to gain custody of the kids. Oh yeah and this was also the lawyer that told me to give her space and not push my visitation rights. I recently found out that he lied to me I don’t need to know where she is. I have filed a report on him to the bar association of his state.
August 2000 a JAG lawyer told me the way my divorce papers are wrote I don’t owe her support unless I see my kids. But I kept paying it because they are mine.
Since April of 2001 all money for child support has gone into an investment that earns no interest. In November I withdrew a sizable amount to get my oldest son out of the trouble he was in. I supported him, with no qualms, till he graduated High school, late may of 2008.
In February, when she fount out my oldest son was living with me, she went to the child support agency of her state. Telling them I have never paid. Remember I have receipt from January 1996 to April 2001. I have paid all current support since then to the agency. Problem I am fighting is I don’t feel I own the 10% interest, because I have tried for years to find her. The only reason she didn’t have the support from May of 2001 to March of 2008 is because I had no place to send the support to. She has lived in 5 different states and been married 3 more time taking on the last name each time. In our divorce papers it goes to her NOT the state. The money for May 2001 to March 2008 is still lock away till this matter is resolved: In other words till no interest is due.
I have a lawyer working on the case now.
Now to answer your question.
Bottom line, A woman need to do her part to make sure kids see their father NO MATTER WHAT. Support is no excuse, because it is often a lie. If it is truly by his choose then that is his fault, but after what I have been through, I make damn sure it’s the father’s fault for not seeing the kids.
To clear the waters I have only meet one other woman that doesn’t let the child see its father for “support reasons” and wouldn’t you know it was also a control issue also.
I really feel that any parent that denies children see their other parent should be sent to jail. I also feel that any parent that had access to pay support and doesn’t should be sent to jail. Both are forms of abuse, | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/13/2008 4:05:36 PM | Silken, I couldn't agree with you more that the child and the custodial parent need to survive. I believe the original post was about using the child as a weapon to get that money. That is the court's job and responsibility, not anyone else's. The courts clearly agree that it is wrong to do.
Regarding your example with the motorcycle, I had a very sweet g/f (mother of 4) that discovered this very thing with her ex who supposedly couldn't pay. She called him on it, knocked it down and beat the crap out of his shiny new bike . Lesson learned? She went to court and let them set the amount and force the payment instead of this "agreement" they had that just caused problems. | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/13/2008 4:43:38 PM | This is for both men and women out there - There are people you might have feelings for and care about, but their circumstances are too difficult to make them a good dating option in the present. You can choose to not date someone for all kinds of reasons, no reason is any more or less valid than another or someone elses.
As for people engaged in a gender war or trading stories for who had it the hardest in life - For every loser out there, man or woman, who doesn't do right by their kids, there was someone who picked them to date, sleep with, maybe marry and definitely have a kid together.
( "You" is not meant specifically for anyone, it's to illustrate a point )
If your child has a loser for a father or mother, remember it's a two way street. They have to be an irresponsible jerk and a lousy parent but you had to have picked them in the first place. Every moment your child suffers in life because of an absentee or shame worthy "other parent" is a product of your own doing.
Child support is abusive? Cutting off the other parent from contact is abusive? Having two parents not get along is abusive?
Let me tell you what abusive is -
Picking the wrong jerk to let between your legs or to fire your entire salvo into without a condom.
Having a child without establishing oneself, man and woman alike, financially and emotionally.
Refusing the basic concept of accountability when it comes to why a child suffers.
As for the idea of using anything, up to and including a child, to get cash or some upgrade or maintenance of lifestyle, especially as a guy dealing with a single mother ( no offense to single moms, not all are like this), what do some of you guys expect?
When you first meet 95 percent of women out there, one of the first questions out of her mouth is what you do for a living. If you don't make enough (typically as much or more than her unless she's got a lot of deal breakers herself) then you are kicked out of the running. It's often about money, at least having "enough of it" to start, what makes you think this will get any better over time, especially after a breakup.
Accountability - It's not Kryptonite, you won't wither and die when you face it, especially your own, even if it's hard to do.
How do you pick a better partner?
That's the question most people should be asking above all else. It's what this thread should really be about. But you can't start to ask that question until you start owning up to your choices. Relationships are a two way street. Anyone who refuses to see that, using their child as a means of extortion or not, man or woman, is completely undateable. | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/13/2008 6:27:24 PM | A few good points made there by Unstoppable.
Unfortunatly, things don't always work quite like that.
You can be financially sound. Have a good relationship. Take the time to make the decisions. Live with the consequences of that decision. Best of all...still be happy. Then...BOOM. Out of nowhere, you're suddenly single again, and out on the street. Literally. I mean, holy crap...what happened?
I never did figure that one out. Ah well...
Anyone who needs "drama" in their life is definitely not a good partner to have on any kind of permanent basis. They haven't a clue as to where they are going, in the long term. Only short term goals. They seem to take too much that is said out of context.
Date them? Maybe date...but not form a relationship that is "forever". They can't handle it. | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/14/2008 12:49:39 AM | I had a father who paid the minimum child support despite making six digits a year as a single man, and having a combined income with his second wife of almost 7 digits a year. Do I think it was wrong that he barely paid enough to pay for one dance class for my sister and I, each month? I sure do. Do I think for a second that it would have been the right thing to do, to prevent him from seeing us? Absolutely not.
The children are the ones who get damaged here. Forget the mom who is so hard done by and can't feed them, blah blah. I know what it's like because I saw it with my mom. But really, at the end of the day, the child suffers more than anybody. They say all you need is love. If that's true, mom is taking away half of the love that child needs, so they can take care of the kid? Often times by doing that, she's getting further away from her original goal of forcing a man to see his children.
I wish certain parents could imagine what it would be like if someone demanded they pay money to see their own child, as if they were some show at a circus or something. How awful a feeling would that be, if you just plain couldn't afford it?
Now, there are certain circumstances where this exception can be made, if the "love" of one parent is destructive to the child, but in about 80% of cases, it is not.
I never understood how a man or woman could watch their child get by with nothing, when they had anything to give. My father never paid a dime for my medical or dental expenses, never helped me pay for school, as my mom was so sure he would. I don't think he ever bought me a birthday gift. I'm not saying it's right to act this way...to not support your child in every way possible. I am saying it is absolutely unacceptable to deny someone the right to see their own child because they're not cutting a check.
To all you moms who seem to think it's okay, imagine someone taking your child from you and keeping them away from you because you couldn't pay your phone bill on time, then saying the only way you will get to see them again, is if you get that bill paid right away. It's just sneaky, manipulative and wrong. Leave it to the courts if you have a dispute over child support.
Unstoppable had it right as well when he said that having a child is an important step...one that you should be fully prepared for both emotionally and financially. Both parties. If you can't know with full certainty that you can provide for that child no matter what, then you definitely should never be a parent. It works for both parties. | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/14/2008 1:10:38 AM |
As for Mr 50 cent and other overpaid Hollywood types he spends more on a car than he does his child, does that seem fair to you?
Yes, it's fair. Because he's working for that money, and it's his money to spend as he sees fit. If the child has its needs provided for (and remember, the mom should contribute 50% of all those travels, expensive schools, top-brand clothes, etc., something I'd bet she conveniently ignores), there is nobody's business how he spends his money.
If the mom is so concerned about the kid sharing the father's lifestyle, she should send the child to live with dad. | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/14/2008 1:27:47 AM | Just to weigh-in my 2 cents....
Is it child abuse to keep the non-custodial parent from seeing the child for failure to pay support? I dont know if Id go to that extreme, but its a pretty sucky thing to do to someone. My ex would if she could, but thankfully local laws keep support & visitation seperate here.
As for what you say about support only being awarded because the non-custodial parent isnt providing in some way...I dont know what cloud you live on but I wanna join you!!! As someone who lives on Social Security as my primary income, the f-ing state still requires 20% of my income for support regardless. The amount my ex gets is next to nothing for her, but for me living on public aid it means the difference between surviving and living-comfortably. And, trust me, Ive tried to fight it for years and there isnt a damn thing I can do about it. Support is awarded regardless of the non-custodial parent's situation, and thats that. (At least in the state of IL). Fail to pay and youre looking at 18% interest added to the arrears. Again, not a damn thing you can do to change it.
Whatever locality you live in that looks at support in the way youve described, please tell me where it is because Im moving there tomorrow!!!! | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/14/2008 5:43:44 AM | In regards to 50 cent. He shouldnt have to pay her more than that..
With half a million dollars a year, SHE was not only well taken care of, EVER RAGGED POF TRAMP off the net/street she brought into the house was also well taken care of.
F**K that....
If I find out my child support is supporting you and your JOBLESS lose of a boyfriend (Mind you it was her new boyfriends idea to take him to court for the 18%.) instead of my child...
We would be in court fighting for joint physical custody...
Which mind you can compeletley eliminate child support...
Then where is the lazy parent left?!?
Furthermore, NO child needs 80k a year, and asking for more than that is petty..
Just because I have it to give, doesnt mean it should be.
If all the childs primary NEEDs are met, and he has a massive amount of extra..
WHY SHOULD you and your sister have money for your dance lessons..
That is YOUR personal life not the childs.
Which is why I told the girl off...
she said she has to go to the "hood" now to get her nails done because he isn't giving her extra...
How could anyone date someone like that? | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/14/2008 5:56:49 AM |
But besides that, my question is WOULD YOU DATE a girl going through those issues...and of course the single, bitter mothers all jump head first in...
Wow this one got heated!!!
To answer your question I think it really depends on the situation. If she is just bitter and wanting revenge on her baby's daddy then shes probably a loser so dont go there but her reasons may be genuine.
My ex pays me, not a huge amount but he does his bit when he can. I dont care for him too much but my son adores his daddy and as long as hes happy thats all that matters to me.
My mum dissed my dad throughout my childhood and it hurt bad. Now Im a big girl I can see she was right but she should have let me discover that for myself.
I will NEVER bad mouth my sons daddy in front of him. We act civil when together for our sons sake. Thats a small sacrifice to make for someone I think. | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/14/2008 6:19:49 AM | | OP, first if you want to be a lawyer, then you need to get some better ways and vocabulary in order to debate, because if you go off in the court room like you have done here, you will lose every case. Second nobody wants to date anybody, man or woman, that plays games. So I wouldn't date a guy that didn't support his children, and if I was a man I wouldn't date a woman that kept the man away from the children and used them as pawns. However, children do not rely on just love and oxygen, and if you lay down with someone and you don't use protection, you understand the consequences. Therefore you must take accountability for your actions...I decided to forgo trying to get support from my little one's father I simply wanted to have sole custody with no visitation b/c he was into a life of drugs and it eventually killed him...So guess what I get nothing, not a dime either, but instead of whining and complaining, I got a good job and am taking care of her, trust me, she doesn't want for much...and I don't think anyones being bitter except for you perhaps...jmho | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/14/2008 7:28:09 AM |
Do you consider a mother who threatens to not allow the father to see the children if he doesn't give her X amount of money a chid abuser?
Absolutely, but here CS and access are considered as separate issues by our courts. Technically he could be paying zero CS but still have access under the law, although that is unlikely to happen much.
Given her attitude I'd say she isn't much of a parent and perhaps the father should be the one with custody. Hopefully he won't do the same in return. | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/14/2008 7:52:46 AM | | I have to agree with most here it is a two sided issue. My ex moved to Colorado to not have to pay child support because at the time they didnt have to complete the "new hire report" when someone gets a job there. I did offer multiple times to fly my son there at my expense regardless of the child support. He and I have been in a love/hate relationship for 8 years wherein both of us did equally bad sh*t to each other. So I cant claim complete honesty but I decided sometime ago that this wasnt the way for us to live our lives and I forgave him completely the whole sordid past. He has yet to forgive me but one day he will in the meantime I try to keep him memories with us (me and our son) alive for my son. I havent gotten a steady check from him in 3 years. Money is harsh when you dont have it but I work twice as hard to make sure my boys have everything they could want and need. Because regardless of anyone else I am my kids mother and thats what matters to me I will make sure my children are provided for with or without their father. No its not abuse. Its immaturity. What is it when the father doesnt pay child support and doesnt want to see the kids? thats also immaturity and also a little bit of abandonment. IMO. So lifes not perfect and with the times changing the way they are almost every family will be mixed somehow. This will be an ongoing issue between men and women nothing can change that except education/experience in parenting and mixed families | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:01:29 AM | On the opposite side (being a single mom)...I BRIBED my son's dad YEARS AGO ...I would stop the child support if he would only spend time with his kid! Well, he finally took interest in his son & got married to a great girl...We have 50/50 custody now and no one pays support.
My other son's dad wants nothing to do with him...full support there! | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:19:59 AM | | My husband whom I am seperated from, CHOOSE to leave Canada and return home to his parents in the USA. He has a residence card here to legally work so he didn't HAVE to. So he can't see our son anyways, by HIS choice. I do however don't send him pictures, when he don't send support. Because, he doesn't DESERVE pictures. He has no relationship with our son, and frankly, child support is the LEAST he could do. If he was here, I wouldn't keep our son from him if he'd be a STABLE father, but he isn't. He leaves whenever he feels like it and I think my son is better with no dad then a daddy-come-and-go. | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/14/2008 6:29:58 PM |
Well, he finally took interest in his son & got married to a great girl...We have 50/50 custody now
Wow! That is an awesome thing to do. Obviously something that should never have to happen but... thinking like that made a child grow up much healthier. You should council some of these women
And Angel Eyes, he left you. He isn't yours to punish anymore. Your child isn't your whip. | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/14/2008 6:52:30 PM | You're entitled to your opinion of course. Relationhips tend to end on bad notes generally.
If there's children and money involved it seeems to bring out the worst .
It's easy to generalize and say all women who threaten to withold visiton or go against a court order, are mad parents .
If there's a court order in place, specifying visition and custody, and either parent defies it, there's grounds for legal action.
Whether chid support payment is in errears or not, the visitation rights are a separate issue. Both support payment and visition and custody are dealt with separately.
Witholding visitation becasue of a payment discrepancy is not going to resolve either issue, as far as the laws concerned.
Both parents need to make themselves informed ot the law and their rights, and be considerate of the needs and feelings of their chld.
Practically speaking, if you see a woman who is using her child as an emotional weapn against the father , for whatever reason , it's a good indication of her own personal issues, respect and concern for her child, and her value system.
Be warned and be aware, you could be next. | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/14/2008 11:03:23 PM | Are we really a civilizated race or are we still developing?
There are 2 people that are responsible till the day they die, the mother and the father.
I think its hard for anyone to say, each and every situation is different.
I have custody of my two kids(notice I didnt say I won custody, because its not a contest and no one,especially the children are winners)
I think that the mother in this situation isnt evil , i dont think she needs to be stoned.
I think she needs to seek professional help.
There are different stages of anxiety, depression and anger in these situations.
Its great when two parents can work things out w/o court intervention,but really, what this mother, her kids and the father are going thru isnt abnormal its the norm.
Again, the parents have to be big enough to say hey we need to get our stuff together so we can raise these children.
Remember Mom n Dad fell in love at some point,right?
And in our heads havent we been taught that you meet someone fall in love get married , have kids n die together?
Dont you think some of that anger on both sides is from that shattered dream, leaving the two adults doubting themselves?
Its not too late to show the kids that we may not live under the same roof but we can rise above the ashes and with time and perserverence we can succeed.
And again, it must be mom and dad that start this rolling. Once the lines of communication have been opened and both start healthy dialog the money issues will work themselves out.
All the responses to the original question carry some degree of anger and that must be stopped.
Instead of using negative phrases and such lets all turn it around with encouragement, speak in positive tones, after all you never know who will read these things.
Perhaps someone just starting to go through a family break-up will read these responses.
And maybe if they read something positive and non-bashing they might just think over how theyll do things.
And positive words may sprout positive results.
:modhammer: | |
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| Child support as a weapon? Would you date a girl with drama like this?
Posted: 7/14/2008 11:17:59 PM | Are we really a civilizated race or are we still developing?
There are 2 people that are responsible till the day they die, the mother and the father.
I think its hard for anyone to say, each and every situation is different.
I have custody of my two kids(notice I didnt say I won custody, because its not a contest and no one,especially the children are winners)
I think that the mother in this situation isnt evil , i dont think she needs to be stoned.
I think she needs to seek professional help.
There are different stages of anxiety, depression and anger in these situations.
And its those feelings that disable rational thinking.
Its great when two parents can work things out w/o court intervention,but really, what this mother, her kids and the father are going thru isnt abnormal its the norm.
Again, the parents have to be big enough to say hey we need to get our stuff together so we can raise these children.
Remember Mom n Dad fell in love at some point,right?
And in our heads havent we been taught that you meet someone fall in love get married , have kids n die together?
Dont you think some of that anger on both sides is from that shattered dream, leaving the two adults doubting themselves?
Its not too late to show the kids that we may not live under the same roof but we can rise above the ashes and with time and perserverence we can succeed.
And again, it must be mom and dad that start this rolling. Once the lines of communication have been opened and both start healthy dialog the money issues will work themselves out.
All the responses to the original question carry some degree of anger and that must be stopped.
Instead of using negative phrases and such lets all turn it around with encouragement, speak in positive tones, after all you never know who will read these things.
Perhaps someone just starting to go through a family break-up will read these responses.
And maybe if they read something positive and non-bashing they might just think over how theyll do things.
And positive words may sprout positive results.
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