| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 11:41:01 AM |
I get the feeling, from some of the posts on this thread, that some people view the unborn as not a person.
Uhhhh they are not legally speaking. otherwise abortion on demand would be 100% illegal.
I think both myself and the poster you address have been quite clear in differentiating between forced parenthood and relationship breakdown. | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 11:48:46 AM | I know Subaru....you have another topic posted about your dilema! You're still in love with him and the fact that the Navy doesn't care for what you have done is holding you back from what you should have done the moment you found out you're pregnant.
Also makes me wonder if this guy truly is the father considering how a Navy girl is taught to not put up with BS! Not meaning to be related but I just hope this guy isn't like the guy who killed his pregnant Army g/f on the news.
Asking for child support is one thing but when a mom is a reservist plus is a full-time student while possible dad is homebound and holds a full-time job doesn't bold well for you keeping custody of the child thus loss of child support. | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 11:49:06 AM | Loony,
I guess I dont understand fully the difference between forced parenthood and relationship breakdown??!! To me, and this is just me and I am not going to speak for everyone, but when I have sex with someone we are in a relationship. If I get pregnant as a result of said relationship, I expect him to be there for the child. He had a hand in creating it. If he doesnt want to be with me then fine. What is your definition of forced parenthood? No one forced you to have sex did they?
Even in the event of a one night stand a child is concieved, then both parties should take responsibility. If both parties were both willing to have sex and both parties knew of the risks, even the slightest risk if they use protection, then they are both responsible for the pregnancy. | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 11:57:41 AM | Ummmm Pepsi76,
Unfortunately when it comes to babies out of wedlock, the courst ALWAYS decide, just like in Rowe vs Wade where it's just a fetus until certain human biologicals are formed and operating prior to birth so therefore the fetus has no rights. (I know, dumb as hell, but all this fuking around stuff cause it) | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 11:58:09 AM | This "women have more choices" crap is apples to oranges. Of course we have the choices...the baby is carried in our wombs. I guarantee if men could carry children, abortion would NEVER be considered for outlawing!
I am sick to death of hearing "18 years of meal tickets" in this thread! Do those of you who spout such, really think that child support is a fvcking meal ticket for the mother?! I have worked, collected child support, raised my children solo... and I am still FAR from having a meal ticket! (P.S...it's to 24 if the child is in college, by the way!)
Most child support is a small percentage of what it takes to actually raise a child with basic needs.
But in a nutshell...if a man wants no risk of having to financially support a child...then he needs to minimize his risks. Period. If the roles were reversed...and a man could get pregnant...you can bet your sweet ass that I would either practice abstinence or take whatever measures neccessary to insure I would not be contributing to my share of creating a baby.
Regarding "Paternity Fraud"...I am sure there are the few cases where someone intentionally does this. However, for the most part...the alleged father is given the opportunity to submit to DNA testing and does not appear for such...thus the courts find in favor of paternity by default. If a woman has no idea who the father is, and names multiple possibilities...this is not "fraud." But instead of the men just hoping this "problem" will go away...he needs to get off his duff and exercise his rights. | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 11:59:36 AM | | Not in love with him anymore....lol. What should I have done when I found out? AS to me taking BS. I don't most of the time, I was just stupid in this instance. I am not perfect, wish I was though. As to the reserve issue and job issue. I can an fully intend to get a full time job after the baby is born. I am willing and able to do this and school will have to wait. And the Navy thing, if it becomes an issue I can go on IRR(Inactive Ready Reserves) and I have deployed to Iraq and am not deployable again until 2011 at which time my reserve time will be done unless i decided to reenlist. So neither full time student or being a reservist is an issue. It's the fact that he has threatened to take custody away, even though he isn't even sure he wants to be in her life. That's what I have a problem with. And just becuase he lives here and has a full time job does not automatically make him a better parent. | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 12:11:23 PM | QUOTE "Do those of you who spout such, really think that child support is a fvcking meal ticket for the mother?! I have worked, collected child support, raised my children solo... and I am still FAR from having a meal ticket! (P.S...it's to 24 if the child is in college, by the way!)"
For the louse moms, yes, children are a meal ticket......LOL btw, nice mentioning the 'til they're 24 and in college' for them.
"minimize his risks"....exactly, wear a condom even if she's on the pill! Yes, he needs to appear in court for the good (who cares if she's a louse, stuck the dik in it) of the mom and precious child:) . Who knows, it may all turn around for a prosperous future. | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 12:11:47 PM | Pepsi76
That really sucks and in that case I think you would certainly have course to seek
financial support for the child. Because he skipped out on your marriage doesn't absolve him from the duties.
I know I do not view the unborn as a non entity. Casual sex is going to happen and I choose not to blame any of the parties involved for the pregnancy. The main issue to me is the child. My father had little contact with me and now in hindsight I question whether it was beneficial at all to know the man. Would I have been better off to simply bond with father who wasn't my biological but a good role model?
I think in some cases allowing men/women to opt out is the definitive statement. Great ..you don't want to have any part in your childs life so let me move on and find someone up to the task.
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 12:24:32 PM | | Yes, you are in love with him Subaru but it doesn't matter. Duh, that's why I said what I said, I know he has threatened and will win unless you make major changes which you are very hesitant to do. Not if McCain get's in office, you can be deployed again after 3-6 months of homebound at his command. | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 12:36:35 PM | Volgrl....hon....I was quoting pepsi76's post of 7/16/2008 1 06 PM, not you, geez!
If you knew it was her then read her post, stand by mine too. | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 12:39:06 PM | | I won't argue about the love issue...lol. As to changes, if they need to be made I will make them. And by the way each service has their own rules about deployment and redeployment. It isn't a one size fits all sort of deal. It would take alot more than McCain getting in office to change that. The Navy policy as it currently stands give a person who is involuntarily deployed, 5 years between deployment. Is it possible that could change, of course it could. But that isn't likely. | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 12:44:10 PM | | If she knew he was the father then she has an accountability and responsibility to stand up for herself and the child and ENFORCE their rights in court, if needed! Otherwise she's just acknowledging to all the other women who chose to have unprotected sex that it's ok to get pregnant without a care for what's right for the child and thus encouraging the other young girls or older one's to do the same! | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 12:55:32 PM | | Volgrl.....I'm just typing away and have no 'real' issues with any of you since I don't know you either, just remarking and sincerely hope the best so please pay no attention to my "Ho" remarks...I'll stop (or do the best I can) them like the vulgarity you complained of on this topic, apologize to all of you. | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 1:12:16 PM | | Pepsi. I guess what i should have said is that if both parents are responsible adults, and want to remain in kids life than kids should be split. As it stands right now Daddy has no choice or say in the matter if Mommy decides to only let the father see the kids every second weekend. Although there are many sleezbag dads out there , their are some more good ones too. The courts force child support on families,the dad. If Mommy and Daddy are equaly good parents and Mommy can't make ends meet without child support then Daddy should be given the opportunity before child support is ever established. | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 1:13:29 PM | Klopper,
That's not nice. My meaning is this: If my ex husband didnt want to be with me, then fine. I cant force someone to stay married to me. But I did/do fully expected him to remain in his child's life.
I am not a "HO". I dont sleep around I dont have unprotected sex(with someone who isnt my HUSBAND), and I dont have one night stands. | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 1:20:59 PM | Smiley,
Yes, in some instances, not ALL, the mom has control (they go by the COURT'S GUIDELINES") as to when the dad can see the child. I, however didnt and would never do that. I guess I dont fit your "norm". I did everything in my power for my ex husband to see his child. I offered to drop off and pick up our daughter, I told him whenever he wanted to see his child, all he had to do was call and he could see her (as long as there wasnt any previous engagments, but in that instance I would make her available any other day.
So, if the mom cant make ends meet and custody is given to the dad, would you expect the mom to pay child support? | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 1:22:22 PM | PDVolgrl,
Thanks for sticking up for me. I cant believe he would call me that. All I was saying was I had unprotected sex with my HUSBAND and got pregnant. If he wanted a divorce or didnt want to be with me anymore then I cant force him. I did expect him to be in his child's life tho' | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 1:27:14 PM | ":So, if the mom cant make ends meet and custody is given to the dad, would you expect the mom to pay child support?"
Yes, I would expect my ex to pay support. Men are told if you can't afford your child support get a better job and suck it up. Goes both ways.
As for a women's choice, yes it is hers after conception and prior to the child being born, but that all changes once the child is born. I still feel I should have equal opportunity to be the custodial parent right after birth since gender does not make a parent better or worse. | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 1:29:56 PM | Soccor,
Yup, if the man has custody because the mom was proven to be unfit then I would expect her to pay child support. What I was trying to get at with Smiley was that he had said in an earlier post that if a woman cant make ends meet to support the child without child support than the man should get custody. So I was asking if that was true, if the man did have custody, then would he then expect the woman to pay child support. | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 2:19:08 PM | | isn't there a pretty simple solution to this whole pregnancy child support thing? if you don't want childern sleep with someone who agrees with abortion and use double the protection or get fixed. if you don't believe in abortion don't sleep with someone who does. everyone has choices...you choose who you sleep with. | |
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| Women's Choice=no support from fathers???
Posted: 7/16/2008 4:15:39 PM | Pepsi76...
When I saw your post about "him not wanting to be with me, then fine". I never saw anything in it about your husband (ex-hubby for that matter) leaving you and saw divorced on your profile so I naturally thought it was about a guy that you slept with, got pregnant by, and didn't care if he left you. You wouldn't believe how many other women have stated that on here.
That's why I said that your actions represented those of a () which I was floored to even say that. I read more and still can't believe that it happened to you, sorry to you and your son. | |
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