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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/17/2008 8:46:53 PM | Sparks2see ~ why would you criticise someone for "only having 8 favourites" on their list, when you have none? As I said, favourites mean nothing in my experience.
I make a good friend but maybe that's why I'm still single is that I look for compromise not me bending over backwards satisfying your every whim though if you catch me in a good mood, that could happen
I think this says a lot about you though ... each to their own | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/17/2008 8:54:13 PM | I met this guy in late January. I didn't realise ANYTHING at all about connections or chemistry with people until this, I was 19 at the time. I just thought this whole time two people get together if they like each other, lol. But anyways there was just something about how he looked at me and how I could just smile, I felt some real strong feelings/connection toward him. Long story short we didnt date, but had each others #s. He had text me last month, his gf out of town (he had just got one a couple months before or something, although i keep thinkin that he had this girl all along..). ANYWHO.. he was just sayin things like oh if a certain two people were both single they should move in together (because he was planning on gettin a place soon) but he would call my baby and it was odd. I saw him again, after all that time, at my job there was an open mic night=]. Holy jesus. I had that same strong connection it never went away, and it really sucks to not be able to even date the only guy you ever had such strong feelings for. Just the way he look at me, his presence, being next to him. Then his gf coming back and him not really givin an F cuz he was just lonely. I mean honestly it still drives me crazy because I never had that great connection with anyone. I actually ran into someone on this site, but it was an EH connection, but next time we hung nothing. So it kinda makes me even blah n sad to think of how this guy was the only person that I ever felt so strongly like that for and there was never even a chance to find out :(.
SORRY ITS SOO LONG!!! =] | |
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Posted: 7/21/2008 12:34:34 PM | Ok I am sorry for acting like a jerk. I was expressing my feelings and personality. I've had another profile on here with 60 favorites, you're right though doesn't mean much
In answer to your question: No you cna't feel that chemistry again
Thanks for the profile review, these forums are full of needy men that are treated like doormats - that connection word hits up an anger swtich inside of me | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/21/2008 4:44:13 PM | OP, I understand completely how you feel, and the answer, at least for me, has been no.
It's been 8 years since, time and events have not only called into question if it could happen again, but if what happened was even real in the first place.
Perhaps at that particular point in time circumstanses, the stars, kismet... allow one to feel those intense moments and feelings of total connection. Not too long ago my best friend and I were pondering this very same question, and our outlook was fairly pessimistic, which is quite sad. To think that the experience of having lovemaking bring tears to you and your partners eyes, or being unable to tell where your body ends and hers begins is almost too troubling to contemplate. That being said, I feel that if you do shut yourself off to that, it most likely WON'T happen. | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/21/2008 5:35:59 PM | I read a post in another thread, that made me realize something. That "amazing connection and chemistry" is "Eros", and I have experienced that a number of times. In fact, without it, I don't pursue a relationship for long.
However, most of the time, that amazing, intense, romantic/sexual love, is usually transitory, and rarely survives the first year.
What I think the OP is talking about, are those very rare relationships that go on for a long time, and the EROS is still intense some years later. I've experienced that 3 times, once as "first love" as a teen, for 6 years in my 20s, that was ruined by my struggle, then, with alcoholism, and once, shortly after I became sober. That was almost 30 years ago.
It's still the hope and the quest, and it's why I won't "date to date" or pursue "friendship first" sorts of relationships. | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/21/2008 6:01:57 PM | | Definitely. I have experienced it twice. The first one, I end up marrying the guy. For me, chemistry is not just about physical attraction... it's feeling at ease and comfortable around him like i've known him all my life. The second one, the chemistry is much more intense than the first. The only disadvantage is that it became my deciding point whenever I meet somebody. Kind of unrealistic at some point. But when you felt something electrifying and over powering like "chemistry", You just want to feel it over and over again. | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/21/2008 6:14:52 PM | I have to say that I for one would have thought it could never happen. Sure the romance of falling in love but amazing chemistry, no, but then about 20 years ago I met someone that when we touched hands it was like an electricity surged through me, we had a fantastic relationship where we sought each other out for just a 15 min. coffee break during the day to spend a little time together.Unfortunately, she died, Could it ever happen again, I wondered, absolutely NO chance. Then after nearly 15 years of relationships that never came close, and, not looking for that again, thinking it was impossible, I found it via this medium of the internet, and have fallen absolutely madly in love, thinking all my experiences to date have been to lead me to this point, I'm not letting this one get away, so yes sweetheart it can happen again, you just have to be prepared to have an open heart and above all else remain positive. I wish you my luck in your search, you may find it around the corner or, as I did 1/2 way around the world but just go for it,
Paul | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/22/2008 10:42:30 AM | I agree that it can happen, albeit differently, or in varying strengths/intensities.
Think of it like this. That 'part' of us that is receptive to this.. 'lights up'.. with the right person. Let's call it a light bulb.. lol. There's a switch for this to happen.. and it isn't necessarily easily accessed, but if the right person comes along who sees that light switch and flips it.. then it 'lights up'. Of course, perhaps someone comes along who sees it, but for their own reason doesn't flip it... or perhaps they try to flip it, but for the moment our light is burned out.. not fully screwed in.. etc.. then it doesn't happen.
We need to be open to feeling it.. just as the other person has to be likewise accessible. There is a reason people cry out about unrequited love.. because sometimes, just sometimes, the other person doesn't feel it back.
In any case, it is a very beautiful experience that, like someone mentioned, can be very painful when the relationship does end.. if it does. Having it does not guarantee a successful relationship...
IMO though, I believe there is a huge difference between the chemical attraction one feels and a deeper one where two people are also mentally in synch. And yes, one can experience the feelings through the medium of the internet/telephone.. especially the mental connection but again... it is about being open (and yes its in your mind -- EVERYTHING we feel is in our mind people.. where do you think the sensations we get are processed??)
Okay.. enough of my going on. Simply put.. yes it can happen more than once. :) | |
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| Can you experience that amazing chemistry/connection more than once??
Posted: 7/22/2008 1:13:01 PM | I have experienced what you have written about four times in my life.. but it seems to get rarer as we age.. not because we are not as perfect as we were.. I feel most tend to have been disillusioned by past and are less open and maybe we don't expect it anymore.. maybe we think that no-one will ever make us feel the way we once did.. maybe we feel that we can't make a man feel safe and at home with us anymore. I do know it can happen more than once.. the buzz thing.. you just have to wait as you may miss it if you try people who will pass some time for us.. It is wonderful and I dream of it one more time.. but the waiting is long and drawn out.. also very empty at times, but I believe it is worth it as I know if I don't feel it I wont put my all in it.. so this is me saying try to wait if it don't feel right don't go into it..keep yourself for your special man..as some men out there are living life the same way and how special is that!!! how proud of yourself you can be and of your man when you eventually get to meet..  | |
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