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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > What if the woman makes more money than the man.      Home login  
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 Lightly-Lightly
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 51
What if the woman makes more money than the man.Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Exactly I don't care if she makes 15.000/year or 150.000 or whatever. Is she is nice and poor I will take care of her...I will swim accross the ATLANTIC for her no matter how poor she is. I will take care of that and if she is nice and feminine I will love her.
If she makes more then me and tells me I am a loser, then I am WALKING, right after the word was pronounced. I never come back. I am not dependent on sex. I like sex but not that much to bend over and be a sclave. Ok?
Some crazy people here thinks that if you don't bend over for sex with a women you are GAY.... What can I say ? even some emty brained men are thinking that....
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 52
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What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 7/21/2008 5:21:15 PM
OP - I suggest that the fellas get use to the fact that more and more women will make more dough and have more assets than some of you fellas. It happens and such is life. It comes down to choices that WE ALL make in our lives.

In the 1970's, I knew that if I wanted to be more than a Secretary; File Clerk; or LPN; that I'd either have to invent something (I - Pods for example); learn a good technical skill (carpentry); go to college; or have my own business. I knew in the 1970's that a man may or may not be able to help me, and I mean HELP me financially. I'm not talking about 100% financial support. I chose to go to college, because I wanted to be more than a Clerk, Housewife, or a Mother. I knew that my financial well being was up to ME!!! Prince Charming wasn't and isn't going to provide for me. The last 30 years haven't been the easiest, but I do own my own home; I do finance my own trips; and I'm working towards a goal of financial freedom. Again, it is MY CHOICE!

Using money as a power trip is wrong in my book. Doesn't matter what sex you are. What does matter to me, is the attitude one has towards money, and how one uses their money.
 Childlike Wonder
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 53
What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 7/27/2008 10:42:46 AM
I've dated men who make less than me and those who made more. In a LTR/living/marriage situation, it shouldn't really matter because we would be sharing anyway. Back to dating though, it can sometimes crop up as an issue. For example, the guy says he can't afford to take me out often, which is fine, but then every weekend he's buying beer and pot to party on? That's a priority issue. He also wouldn't let me pay for anything such as when I was burned out from work and wanted to go away for a weekend (I'm talking $300 tops for expenses). I'm not the type who likes to be wined and dined on a weekly basis, but once a month it would be nice to go out to dinner and a show. If he won't or can't pay and won't let me pay, then we're stuck on a hamster wheel.

I've dated two wealthy men. One was very bossy about what we did and when we did it and constantly reminded me he paid for everything because he knew I couldn't afford it. Another one also dictated every date, the majority of which were at his place so he could be "comfortable." We'd get takeout on his dime or I'd cook food I brought over. He also made a point of telling me he didn't mind paying for everything since he made so much more. Spare me! I was always picking up his dry cleaning, liquor, etc on my way over and never asked for a dime from him. Needless to say neither of these jokers lasted long. I would be very reluctant to date a guy who made 6 figures or more again.
 TXLover
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 54
What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 7/27/2008 12:51:01 PM
Love is much more than dollars, but more important would be the commonalities of socia-economic and educational backgrounds.

While opposites attract, commonalities and lack of controlling/manipulation seem to allow the commincation and chemistry to allow for a great LTR or marriage.

It is a factor based on expectations.

If the man is an insecure jerk the opportunity will not seem to last. If the guy is secure but the lady is not willing to be open and transparent, the secrets will kill the opportunity for the most intimate relationship emotionally.

That is my take and I wish all of you the best as you seek to love and be loved.

TXLOVER
 john.duke12
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 55
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What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 7/27/2008 12:57:41 PM

I would be very reluctant to date a guy who made 6 figures or more again.


Then who is going to buy you dinner, cars and pay for your house?



Love is much more than dollars, but more important would be the commonalities of socia-economic and educational backgrounds.


People do better when they date those of similar backgrounds.
 JohnSeven
Joined: 7/1/2008
Msg: 56
What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 7/27/2008 1:11:34 PM
Ill put it out there, even if it jeopardizes future dates, lol: Im defininitely NOT where id like to be financially and "at my age" it does cause me some self esteem problems. I keep hearing how "money isnt everything" but it doesnt ring true when I hear it.

Neither of my parents gradded HS or had any money in either of their families. My father basically died penniless last year. No will, lol. So that sort of gives an idea what type of "headstart" I got in life.

So thru my twenties I didnt care. I didnt know what I didnt know. I partied a lot figuring something would work out. I did 4 years in the USAF thinking I could write my own ticket after that....what a joke. As you know, life doesnt just "work out" and nothing falls into your lap.

So around age 30 I quit partying and starting trying to get things together. Its been a hard slow process. Only in the last few years have I started to overcome negativity etc and to learn about success principles. I have come a longggg way in certain areas but I was so far behind to start with that im still not anyones model of success.

I have taken baby steps into entrepreneurship since I know punching a clock is a dead end. First I ran my own computer sales and repair biz out of my apt. Now I am doing personal training but its been an incredible struggle. I have found that my character has had to grow tremendously..and it has...but the $$$ hasnt grown to anything worth bragging about. You have to be SUPER charasmatic to draw clients (or dates) to you. But you arent going to be super charasmatic unless you really have your act together. So far my baby steps have had "futile" written all over them, lol.

SO basically I am a blue collar guy by day and trainer at night...but the PT biz is such a struggle that basically in my current situation it isnt worth mentioning.

So where does that put me? I feel I am a great guy all around and id be a really nice catch for someone. I am very intelligent but I have never tried to apply it until the last few years. I am a hard worker and am also working hard to better my future...but that future wont be here within the next few weeks, lol.

So where does that leave me in relationships? Sure, I may be ok looking and have a funny and witty personality. I carry myself well. Im going to show up for the date neat and clean and looking sharp....but the bottom line comes when I show up for a date in my beater car and she shows up in a Lexus. You ladies telling me that wont be a problem?? I find it hard to believe.

Im not suave as far as knowing all the hot dating spots and im damn sure not a player. I dont know all of the smooth mannerisms of the rich and famous. Im not going to sit and chat about my condos and my stocks...though id like to in the future, lol.

Yet, I am 41....I cant really "wait until im succesful" in order to date...that might take years, lol. I want to date "successful" people who will help pull me in that direction. Damn it gets complicated, lol.
 123carrie
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 57
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What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 7/27/2008 2:01:37 PM
My experience has been that many of the men I have dated are intimidated by me making more money than they do......I could care less how much he makes as long as we are not married and is taking care of his responsibilities (child support, especially).

If any of them and I were to have gotten together, we would have pooled our monies and made a budget that would have met all of our responsibilities..There is always money to be made to replace that which is spent; but there is nothing to replace a special "lost love" due to mishandling of money.
 jm0405
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 58
What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 7/27/2008 4:35:53 PM
Within reason, I don't care how much money a man makes as long as he is employed. I believe people need to work, stay productive so you spend time apart. Too much of any one person is not healthy. I don't care about assets, equality, etc. It doesn't matter.

Where I draw the line - I have a good job, a Bachelor in Finance, working on Associates in Construction Management, working on MBA as well....so I cannot date a man working in McDonald's working his way up the fry line calling that a promotion. It's not about his income as much as it is his education level. I tend to get bored fast with people who are not well informed, don't watch the news, never read books, never took a class outside of junior high or something. A person with an education, more along my intellectual lines, would not be working in McDonald's or any other minimum wage situation like that.

For me, it's not about how much MONEY - it's do you work and can you carry on a conversation or two ranging in topics to prevent the onset of boredom?
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 59
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What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 7/27/2008 4:44:41 PM
If the two are just dating it shouldn't matter.

If the two are married it shouldn't matter, as all of the money they make should be going to the same home. As to one poster remark that as long as he could pay half of the bills. If I could pay 99% of the bills, it would be fine if he was just paying the 1%. In a family it is meant to be all of the money is for both, regardless of who is making it. Actually I would love it if I could pay everything, and he didn't have to work at all. How cool would it be to come home from work to a clean house and dinner?

Why would he be different because the woman made more?
 Childlike Wonder
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 60
What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 7/28/2008 7:10:45 AM

Then who is going to buy you dinner, cars and pay for your house?


Uh me? I already do that now. What an idiotic statement.
 beadonna
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 61
What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 7/28/2008 8:27:24 AM
i made more than my ex for our entire marriage, knew that would be the case, as i had college ed and professional certifications and he didn't........it was never a problem that i made more than he did.......in the last several years of our marriage, he CEASED to work at all..........long story there, but initially he got laid off and i didn't hold it against him b/c it wasn't his fault......eventually, though, it became clear he did not WANT to go back to work and when what started as something out of his control turned into 3 years of voluntary unemployment, THAT's an issue..........

i think its the man that can sometimes have an issue with the woman making more....if the two people involved don't have a problem with it that's all that matters.......but if the guy feels weird about it, or if the woman doesn't like it, it will probably eventually cause problems

like most things, as long as the two parties are on the same page about it, nobody else's opinion should really matter
 john.duke12
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 62
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What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 7/28/2008 2:02:23 PM


Uh me? I already do that now. What an idiotic statement.



On a date I mean.
 Childlike Wonder
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 63
What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 7/28/2008 2:36:21 PM
On a date I mean.


Men pay for cars and houses on a date? Well sh**, I've been fishing in the wrong ponds. Listen, I know and you know what you meant. I think I already addressed dating and who pays.
 BlondE324
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 64
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What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 7/28/2008 3:26:27 PM
I make more money than my boyfriend. It's more of an issue for him than it is for me. It's that he feels he should be the bread winner and be able to financially take care of me and our family (if and when we get to that point in our relationship). I've told him time and time again.....We are a team and it doesn't matter to me as long as we build our life TOGETHER as a team.
 colininlb
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 65
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What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 7/29/2008 4:06:13 PM
then the guy is luck. esp. is he make good money himself.
 singleagain66
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 66
What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 1/28/2009 3:51:21 PM
Personally I am like this I don't care what she has or got because I am not into her for what she got but for her. My only concern maybe she has a job and will she be into me for me and not for what I got or don't go because if not then it will not work.
 MissEmpress
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 67
What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 1/28/2009 3:57:09 PM
I don't feel any way about it....

As long as you have a good job and I find you ambitious, hardworking and intelligent that's all. I have no reason to nitpick at salaries....I am just happy you make one.
 AZSHOOTER2
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 68
What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 1/28/2009 4:20:53 PM
Well, it really don't matter if you made more money than a man.
What men get upset over is when a she is in his face about it.

Don't be shaking your head thinking I'm wrong, I hear more women who are married, say to their man"I MAKE MORE THAN YOU DO"
Men are known as the breadwinners.
They are known as King of the Castle.
I see nothing wrong with that, if you want to stay married to him.
If you want happiness.
Or do you plan on being alone, in a few years, after you nagged him on this issue.
After he gets sick and tired of listen to your broken record.
You made your man feel like nothing.
He can't accomplish anything.
You crushed his ego.
So you make more than he does, you don't need to keep nagging him about it.
He is not deaf, he heard you the first time.
 ndb4now
Joined: 7/12/2009
Msg: 69
What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:15:45 PM
But what if you are in a semi-long distance relationship and your guy is having financial issues which would prevent you from seeing each other on a regular basis? A lot of what is being discussed is if you were married, or already a couple. But what about when you are trying to develope the relationship. You are crazy about him, but his business is not doing well at the moment. You really want to carry the load for a while, because you can afford to.....but he doesn't want to set a precedent. How do you get through to him? How do you get him to accept it for the short term?
 honeyangel1985
Joined: 6/25/2009
Msg: 70
What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:17:47 PM
So what if a woman makes more than a man and has more assets. It's not an issue.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 71
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What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:29:08 PM
If your working and capable of paying half the bills, then that is fair. If she likes you and attracted then you have to meet half way on bills. I know some may want more but that naturally wouldnt be fare and equitable, and not worth pursing someone like that anyway. Good luck



Men are known as the breadwinners.
They are known as King of the Castle


Men are the king of the castle, the head but women are the neck and can turn the head. lol I heard that on "My Greek Wedding"
 Shaitan
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 72
What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:45:14 PM
I feel as long as the person is gainfully employeed ( hopefully a career ) and not job hopping, it shouldnt matter much. However men cry soooo loudly about female gold diggers dont think for a moment there are not men who take advantage of a womans generosity when she is in love, I see it happen all the time.

So, both parties male and female should have a stable job, as long as this happens does it really matter much who makes more? And as long as neither is taking advantage of the other it again should be no big deal.

The age where the man has to pay for all the dates, has to make more and or should be the only one making the money while women stay home barefoot and pregnant is over!! Some men dont like this, but there are many more women who are self reliant and have awesome jobs now than ever before and this should make those men so afraid their minimum wage jobs are gonna attract money hungry women , feel a lot better about dating in general.
 HarrNels
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 73
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What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:47:41 PM
I'm sure a lot of men feel emasculated when they're with a woman who makes more money than they do, especially in my generation (I'm 53). I don't really care how much a man makes as long as he's a productive member of society and enjoys what he's doing.

I have a lot of girlfriends who make a lot more than their husbands or boyfriends, and those women have more control in their relationships but the men seem to be fine with that. I have another friend whose husband is a sometimes-employed university professor, and he enjoys having a wife with a steady income so he can work when he feels like it. She wants him to be employed full-time and holds resentment towards him. It totally depends on the individual personalities. Me? I'm very easy going with lot of things - and this wouldn't be an issue for me.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 74
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What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:40:37 PM
I don't think it matters unless one is trying to take advantage of the other. Who made these macho man rules anyway?
 ndb4now
Joined: 7/12/2009
Msg: 75
What if the woman makes more money than the man.
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:26:29 AM
And there were certainly times in my 21 year marriage when I made more than my husband, and there were times when he was unemployed. But that was a stable marriage. It was never an issue. Our money was "Ours".

This guy wants me to know that he loves me for me, and has no ulterior motives. And the money thing is "his money and my money". And he seems to think that it's his place to use "his money" only.

The way I see it, if it is for the benefit of "us", I should have an equal say.....(and pay).
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