| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 7/17/2008 5:25:36 AM | | Something is missing here. Feelings? Not to sure. I would try to figure out the issue that is really at hand here. I could not be intimate with someone I was not in love with. (tried it once and did not even make it past a kiss)...your situation does not sound too good. The last relatiosnhip I was in, the guy was such a liar and a mess, intimacy was difficult to enjoy, so eventually it just came to an end. Get to the root of the problem. Sex is something to be enjoyed, not dreaded. | |
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 7/17/2008 6:36:33 AM | | when have you heard a guy say " that woman is bad in bed ? " never . BUT now , how many times do woman say " men are bad in bed " all the time . | |
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 7/17/2008 6:53:10 AM | | As in all things, positive reinforcement is much better at getting the desired result than negative reinforcement. | |
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 7/17/2008 7:34:32 AM | | No i would not tel her that. Tell her what it is she does right, there must be something? so then she will do it more, suggest new things, tell her what would turn you on... communicate, but dont ever say shes bad in bed. | |
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 7/17/2008 7:43:52 AM | I thank you all for your opinions and advice.
Last night I asked her, "what she liked about our sex and if there was anything else she wanted me to do different". She said "no way" and then asked me if I wanted her to do anything different. I said there are a few things I could do with and a few things I could do without. So we talked about it a bit and she said she would at least try.
We'll see what the future brings.
Oh and to all of you "Exorcist" commenters, too funny.
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 7/17/2008 8:34:28 AM | | I would politely suggest doing other sexual activities or maybe changing some of their technique. But I wouldn't directly tell a man that he is bad in bed. Maybe the things he did actually satisfied some of his previous sexual partners. | |
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 7/17/2008 6:56:27 PM | | I just recently got out of a relationship where the sex was really bad. I did suggest some things I did enjoy and he was willing to work on it. Well everytime we were intimate he would jump on top of me and smother me and oooh and aaaaahhhh. I just could not teach this old dog new tricks. Just thinking about it makes me want to vommit. | |
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 7/17/2008 7:24:31 PM |
She just lays there and then all of a sudden starts thrashing around out of sync bouncing her hips up and down and then starts making these weird barking like noises. She says she loves the sex but I am not enjoying it at all.
This is the funniest post I've read in a long time!  Maybe you should invite a Priest in while she's thrashing around and have him perform an excorism on her!!
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 7/17/2008 8:58:20 PM | | I let them know! I think they need to know. I never pretend to enjoy it. They don't deserve the satisfaction of that if they can't satisfy me. If I don't get off then they are bad in bed. If I don't get off it is their job to get me off as I always make sure he gets off! I tell them right after I didn't get off then I roll over like it sucked then I tell them. I don't think it is mean it is just being honest. | |
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 7/17/2008 9:42:24 PM | | Next time she does the wierd barking noises try throwing her a fish & see if she will clap her flippers together & balance a beachball on her nose? | |
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 7/17/2008 10:17:04 PM | My ex girlfriend always used to tell me i was bad in bed and i would do the same to wind her up its good to have a joke about it now and then
not every one is a porn star 100% of the time especially after a few to drinks and when you have had a long drive home or a late night we made fun about it and it just makes it easier being satisfied all the time when you know what works and what dosnt ;)
experiment ! u never know till you try, dont just say that didnt work and get disheartend try try and try again till you or your partner gets it right | |
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 7/17/2008 11:47:48 PM | "Do you tell someone they are bad in bed or not?"
Tell her what to work on, if she isn't filling your needs move on.
"Do you just keep up the facade of you pretending to enjoy it and if so for how long?"
Why pretend?! Find someone else. | |
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 10/25/2008 4:40:58 PM | I agree totally countrygirl.  I also believe that if you are talking about monkey love, it IS only sex, no intimate feelings, just plain old sex...
I have always believed what my grandfather used to say. If you point a finger at someone, there are 4 pointing back at YOU . Sooo, if you are going to tell someone they are bad in bed, maybe YOU just don't "DO IT" for your partner. Another angle of looking at it ? !!! AND FOR SURE, if you ever told someone that, it will either start a terrible fight, or tears, and create a feeling of low self worth and self esteem, or all of the above, and possibly ruin that person's sexual experiences for life. If you do, you have no heart, or compassion for others at all. Ever hear of diplomacy ? OR COMMUNICATION ?
Now........if it is a relationship kind of love, you LOVE a person for who they are and what they stand for, and your commonalities. NOT SEX ALONE...That would be called lust, not love. You CAN and WILL work things out in the MAKING LOVE department ! (Personally, my greatest pleasure in the bedroom comes from knowing I am pleasing my partner) It takes two to tango, right?  Like you say, work it out between yourselves, or don't work on it at all, and move on to someone else if you aren't willing, and if you aren't, it is NOT LOVE ! Happy Fishing folks ! AGREE ?? | |
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 10/25/2008 5:15:43 PM | | I would just be honest with her in a polite way.........by telling her that you want to try some different things or telling her more what kind of things you want her to do to you and you to her. Communication can help a sex life out a lot. | |
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 10/25/2008 8:01:22 PM | I have told than one person they were bad in bed. As usually it was followed up by the fact I was NO BETTER in bed than they were. Its about compatibility and ease, and with those I have said something to... it was usually that it didn't work for either of us.
Only two people in my whole life have been so bad in bed that I truly don't I had anything to do with it. I feel for them, but not enough to repeat it or stay.
I have found that the people I really want to make it work, I suggest things, talk it over, and work it out. Simple communication can be all that it takes. | |
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 10/26/2008 5:26:18 AM | | OK, I'm gong out on a limb here and this is just my personal opinion...I think she's faking it and not going a very good job. If she's out of sync with you, just lays there then start these out of sync movements and noises, I just think she's faking it. We women are very good at it and maybe she's just not into you so this is what she does to get it over and done with?! | |
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 10/30/2008 3:22:31 PM | Well thats about the funniest thing I have heard of. The visual on that is hilarious. I could just imagine the look on dudes face when she started barking. (Double take and the look of what the **** was that lol) I would think that would be a ruined orgasmatron hahah.
But serioiusly, to say something to her like she sucks in bed would probably kill her self esteem........ Easier to just walk.... or as others say, communicate!!! | |
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 10/31/2008 9:13:53 PM | You need to be very careful about your attitude of "blaming" the woman. It may be that you and she have poor communication skills and have not had the courage to openly discuss sexual issues. Sometimes, someone blames the other person without taking responsibility for his/her part in refusing to talk openly and express preferences, etc. If you can, gently suggest some things to her that you might enjoy and see if that improves the relationship. What do you do if that doesn't work? You can always go to a sex therapist to sort out how to improve your sexual relationship. Often, if both parties are willing to do this, the counselling can be effective. Sometimes, though, someone has a serious sexual problem because of sexual abuse or another childhood traumatic issue and needs individual therapy for years, in order to be comfortable with sexuality. If that is the case, you have to decide how long you want to stay with the person in the hopes that the sexuality will improve. Only you can make these decisions.
Good luck.
Judith | |
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 10/31/2008 9:22:44 PM | I've experienced the out-of-sync thrashing thing too. Bummer.
I can think of a couple of things you could try if she's up for it.
First, if she's orgasming first, you could either have her give you some oral foreplay so you could get a "head start" hehe... or you could orally pleasure her until she has an orgasm, then just start with the sex when you're ready. That's only if it takes her longer to orgasm the second time though.
Otherwise if she doesn't mind being a little submissive you might be able to kind of hold her in place or use some restraints or something | |
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 11/1/2008 5:10:27 AM | | Have dated woman that by the sounds of it were the same....while I load being a teacher when we moved on they were seasoned veterans and knew just what they were doing...from kissing...to foreplay..to my pleasure...lol. | |
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| Telling someone they're bad in bed?
Posted: 11/1/2008 6:36:18 AM |
Do you tell someone they are bad in bed or not?
Do you just keep up the facade of you pretending to enjoy it and if so for how long?
No,,you do not blatantly come out and tell someone they suck in bed, nor do you pretend anything! Why would or should anyone just lie there and pretend they like it??
As far as the person not quite doing it for you,,,,talk to them and communicate! Tell them what things you like that reallyyyyyy turn you on, and when they do do them, let them how damn good it feels and they''ll be more likely to keep doing it that way. Yanno its almost like a woman who fakes having orgasms ~ she is only cheating herself and her partner is going to keep doing what he's doing thinking he's the shit! lol If you like things slower,,,guide her to do it slower, or faster, or harder or softer..etc.... | |
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