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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?      Home login  
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 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 226
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?Page 10 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

Cupid is dead, deceased, no more, an antiquity, gone.


Okay, I can accept that Cupid is dead but can we collect on the insurance policy? I mean after all, isn't this misrepresentation i.e. dying without leaving us anything i.e. romance / courtship / happily ever after?
 ringo17
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 227
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 4/16/2009 3:21:42 PM
[in his best Pepe LePeuw french accent] Oh... My leetle turtledoves, romance is not dead. Come with me to Algiers, the city of white, and we will dine on the rooftop in the gentle Mediterranean breeze. We weel fly through the desert at night under the golden light of the moon on the wings of love. "Rooow...Rooow... Le Rooow,Rooow".
 Selima
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 228
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 4/16/2009 3:26:31 PM
^^^^^that's cute
 ringo17
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 229
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 4/16/2009 3:30:02 PM
I'm such a hopeless cartoon romantic.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 230
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 4/16/2009 9:32:14 PM
There is ONE girl for me still out there who believes in the exact same thing.
I am determined to find her or bust.

 CynthiaM
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 231
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 4/16/2009 10:19:32 PM

He said he did. And I certainly felt it likely as soon's his first letter. We did manage the long slow pavane of Courtship and Romance, and I believe we were both correct. . . . And it's been more than lovely getting to where we are right now.

Keep the faith, kiddles!

Awwww, congratulations to both of you.

First email did it for me too. And it couldn't have been 'surface' attraction because he didn't have a pic on his profile and is kind of technologically challenged (truth hurts but I love you anyway, hun ;-) so couldn't even email a pic until his neighbor helped him out. I'm very much enjoying being courted (and likewise in return) as well as learning more and more about him, and about us.

I think a key difference with this man, this relationship, is that I feel safe and secure with him. I can relax. After some of the 'special' men I've dated over the past few years, this is quite a treat. I wouldn't waste a good scotch doing shooters; this man I want to inhale, roll across my tongue, and savor. mmmmmmm
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 232
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 4/16/2009 11:14:01 PM

There is ONE girl for me still out there who believes in the exact same thing.
I am determined to find her or bust.



~OT~ I recently met someone and he's living proof that romance/courtship are definitely alive and well. It isn't so much what he did/does, it's just who he is. He's not over-the-top on mushiness or showy things ~ but he just emulates "gentleman." It so nice to be around someone like that. I feel really lucky.
 clearbluecolors
Joined: 1/8/2009
Msg: 233
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 4/17/2009 2:07:21 AM
Men in their 60's and up have a good attitude when it comes to dating and old fashioned romance.
 BlueTeaPot
Joined: 6/25/2011
Msg: 234
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/15/2011 10:45:09 PM
mmmm I was asked this the other night....prefer being courted....and I am a romantic! So he will be courted too, in different ways.

I think showing respect and being gentle with each other's heart is a part of courtship.

 Floramac
Joined: 7/7/2011
Msg: 235
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/16/2011 3:39:26 AM
"""""""""""now they swear as much as the guys......."""""""""

It often seems like the better looking a woman is the dirtier her mouth has become..........
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 236
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/16/2011 5:46:59 AM
Most people I know who complain about a lack of "courtship" or "romance," actually are using those VERY old words as general catch-alls for other things they ACTUALLY want, but aren't expressing accurately.

One of the most common reasons people call for courtship, is selfishness. They want to be feted, given gifts, treated special, and have their ego (and wallet) stroked and plumped. They want to crawl inside a fantasy world, where their "true love" does everything for them, so they can relax. These folks in particular, are the ones most likely to be surprised later, when they duck out from inside their fantasy "tent," and discover their carefully programmed lover has gone off to find a more truly interactive, real person.

It's not a bad thing, or a selfish thing, to want someone to genuinely care about you. But if you have specific ideas about what that care is supposed to look like, and you set up artificial hoops for your potential lover to jump through to get to you, that's not romance or courtship.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 237
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/16/2011 1:17:18 PM
Go back to the thirties section and see the pummelling that a 'nice' guy gets
you have earned every bit of it.
Enjoy it.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 238
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/16/2011 3:28:42 PM
It’s about compatibility and shared values. You’re either on the same page or you’re not.

I take issue with people who blame feminism. While you’re swooning over those old movies, be sure and check out how working women were treated by male bosses…no thanks. Selling yourself into marriage or face poverty sounds real freakin romantic.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 239
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/16/2011 3:32:11 PM
msg 226

Cupid is dead, deceased, no more, an antiquity, gone.

Okay, I can accept that Cupid is dead but can we collect on the insurance policy? I mean after all, isn't this misrepresentation i.e. dying without leaving us anything i.e. romance / courtship / happily ever after?


Must be a local phenomena.
This summer. there are many cupids running in tiny speedos around Toronto beaches.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 240
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/16/2011 9:11:29 PM
Probably a lot of reasons but it would seem women bragging about their "independence" and the open availability of sex.

Women brag about not needing men and sex is so easily given.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 241
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/17/2011 6:32:32 AM
yeah, dave, but what you are describing, is the all-too-common habit SOME people have, of blaming EVERYONE for the whining of a few SPECIFIC people. If SOME women do as you say, and the guy responds by blaming ALL women, then its the GUY who has problems with his willingness to open his eyes, ears, and mind, to reality.
 leetabeens
Joined: 9/7/2004
Msg: 242
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/17/2011 6:46:04 AM
Ive been single for quite sometime now. Finding romance hasn't worked for me. I'm finding as you get older that the majority of men are married or looking for a slim woman. So its still about the physical, sex and the look rather then the heart and who we really are inside. Whether we treat people well and try to make a difference everyday in our lives and those around us just doesn't count. Im hoping I will find the exception someday and be able to share the magic with someone who is on the same wave length.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 243
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/17/2011 7:07:16 AM
40 years ago people had interest in sex but not like today. In our "enlightened and open" society this one topic dominates and, especially, younger men want to play out what their hormones are pushing them for. Women want to "feel their oats" of independence. Together the opposite gender is put off. Do men shun independent women? NO, but many of these types of women brag "I don't need a man" so men stay away or worse just use them for sex.
 PrunellaJones
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 244
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/17/2011 12:36:04 PM
....its still about the physical, sex and the look rather then the heart and who we really are inside....
It's about what is attractive to someone. It always will be. We can't force ourselves to be sexually attracted to someone. If someone is a nice person with a good heart, but you're not sexually attracted, then that is a friend, not a lover. I think part of courting is making the effort to be attractive to your partner.

I think there is a stereotypical picture that a lot of people have of what courtship is. IMO, courting is something two lovers should do together throughout their entire relationship. If you observe couples who have been together for a long time and are happy, you will see that they make an effort to show affection and pay attention to little things now and then that make their SO feel loved and special. For example, I once worked with a teacher (she was over 60 then and had been married for about 30 years) whose husband sent her a bouquet of flowers on the first day of school, every year. It's really not a big deal but meant a lot to her, really made her feel good, loved, and that he was thinking about her. I think happy couples do things for each other regularly, and they don't need to be things that break the bank. A small, simple gesture can mean a lot. To me that's courting.

Courting doesn't mean the man spending lots of money on fancy dinners, flowers, candy, and other gifts. It means a thoughtful gesture, by either partner, to express love and affection.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 245
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/17/2011 1:42:33 PM

yeah, dave, but what you are describing, is the all-too-common habit SOME people have, of blaming EVERYONE for the whining of a few SPECIFIC people. If SOME women do as you say, and the guy responds by blaming ALL women, then its the GUY who has problems with his willingness to open his eyes, ears, and mind, to reality.


We are the instant gradification generation. We have no patience to wait for much today. As much as men hate to hear this if a woman gives sex to soon men loose interest. This has ZERO to do with blaming or whining. Some men have gotten use to easy sex and now many expect it almost from the first date.

On top of this there are women who flaunt their independence. In months past there were posts by women here who (for lack of a better word) flaunt this. Women saying "you men need what we've got but we don't really need you for anything anymore". Uncontrolled hormones and pride drive a nice wedge between men and women causing us to have little trust. To you this may be whining but it is also reality.
 secretmedows123
Joined: 6/23/2011
Msg: 246
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/19/2011 4:40:00 PM
Hi
I am 49 and yes life these days has become overwhelmingly fast paste and it seems like people want to run to 3d base on the 1st date and not take the time to get to know eachother properly. Yeah I know that this is not Mayberry or even Gone With The Wind erra but a little respect from a member of the opposite gender and some manners would be nice.
 female wonderer
Joined: 12/18/2009
Msg: 247
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/19/2011 6:29:58 PM
It's also disheartening when the man is more interested in your sexual prowess in a first conversation rather than getting to know who you are.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 248
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/20/2011 7:29:29 PM
Can't I still have romance and courting even while I believe and live my life as if I am equal? One does not negate the other.

Depends on how you define "equal", and to be equal, first you have to be "free", right? So how can you be "free" if either of you is stuck in some sort of pre-programmed "role" (re: gender and expectations how men & women are "supposed" to behave)?

Actually, I think Romance & Courtship are cool, and to find someone else that shares your tastes is always great. But I doubt the traditional "rituals" (and the assumed "roles"), have much to do with "equality"... or else they wouldn't be "traditional"!
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 249
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/20/2011 8:41:32 PM

Ive been single for quite sometime now. Finding romance hasn't worked for me. I'm finding as you get older that the majority of men are married or looking for a slim woman. So its still about the physical, sex and the look rather then the heart and who we really are inside.


Both men and women have stated on here that they want someone who they are attracted to in order to be a lover. Most men, at our age, can accept a few extra pounds and a few wrinkles: not a problem. It's when the few pounds becomes close to 100 that we loose interest. When will those that have ceased trying to keep their weight under some type of control realize this will not change no matter how much they try to shame and intimidate others?
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 250
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/20/2011 9:21:20 PM
From what I hear women give it up on the first date and invite the guys to their homes as well. So it takes two to tango. Often sex is seen as recreation and if you give it too easily it will be taken.
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