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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?      Home login  
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 whitefether
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 176
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?Page 8 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
I don't think these women are speaking of "courtship" in monetary terms. You can "court" someone in their backyard or on their front porch.

Sherry
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 177
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 12:53:33 PM
Whitefeather? I totally agree with what you say. Then again, and the proof is in this thread? Many expect things before the date even happens. To me, that puts way way too much pressure on things. My belief is to just go for it and see what transpires. Why place undue pressures on ourselves?
 Mr Happy Pants
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 178
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 1:53:14 PM

I think some of us are simply too busy putting labels and time lines on dating. Third date rule being one of them.


What the hell is third date rule? Now I have to know rules!? lol
 Nao_Namorado
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 179
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 1:54:55 PM
^^^^ Y'all ain't never heard "don't touch the third rule!"?
 Argentum Crinis Philogus
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 180
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 2:36:28 PM

Feminist skilled Cupid. Okay! Give me a break! We ARE the ones who burned our bras


The feminists never burned their bras ... they just threatened to do so.

Best,

ACP
 whitefether
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 181
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 3:28:36 PM
ACP, what would you know about bra burning feminists? You are only 45.


Sherry
 Argentum Crinis Philogus
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 182
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 4:51:32 PM
46 actually, the age is wrong. It is documented history, on film. I am only 46 and thank you. I also remember the events.

Feminist Theory actually more of a movement than a theory is an interesting study.

I prefer Humanist Theory--in this way there is no polarization.

Best,

ACP
 whitefether
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 183
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 4:54:44 PM
Huh? LMAO!



Sherry
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 184
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 7:37:23 PM

What the hell is third date rule? Now I have to know rules!? lol


Mr. Happy? You are not aware of the so called "third date rule"? No sex before at the very least the third date darlin!
 Mr Happy Pants
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 185
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 7:48:00 PM
I had no idea there was a rule. Is this written down somewhere? I want the book.

You women are rather demanding then huh? Insisting I put out by the third date! What makes you think I'm that easy?? Can't a fella just be respected...

 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 186
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 8:07:05 PM
Oh my dear Mr. Happy! How very uniformed you are darlin! Perhaps you would like to come, sit on my lap, and Miss Moonie shall read you that chapter in the wide world of dating. After that? You can teach or read to me the book on horsie husbandry?
 Renaissance Man 1950
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 187
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 8:11:36 PM
No, the "3 date rule" was that, if you hadn't consummated the relationship fully by date 3, the man was supposed to go away quietly, without demanding an "explanation". It was a "rule" created to make it easier for women to tell guys "no", without having to discuss it. It was pretty widely accepted, if never spoken about out loud, in the 70s.

Of course, "back in the day", a lot of dating was "hook ups" in the clubs, and most first dates then, as now, ended up in bed. However, if you were still going out after 3 weeks, then "everyone knew" you were sleeping together. It helped "define" the relationship to the world. It was one of those transitional "rules" about dating, as things began to move from the "old paradigm", into something far more free and open. The sexual revolution had hit most of us in college, but the "3 date rule" came to be as the effects moved out into the larger society.

For me now, it's more like a "one date rule".
 Mr Happy Pants
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 188
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 8:14:23 PM
Ok, now I'm actually confused. All of you know about this? This is a real thing?

Who the hell puts timelines on when to have sex?

No wonder I'm single.
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 189
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 8:20:41 PM

Who the hell puts timelines on when to have sex?
Well, I know about this "rule" only from reading here on the forums the last few months since I began posting. Before that I didn't know a whit about it, I wasn't single then. But you learn somethin' new every day here. (lol)
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 190
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 8:30:03 PM
Mr. Happy? The general consencus is no sex until the third date. I never wrote the rules, have only heard of it being that way! Don't feel too bad by not knowing, as I didn't till reading here in the forums!!!

Btw? You are a texan so I simply must ask? Ever heard of that song, save a horse, ride a cowboy???
 Mr Happy Pants
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 191
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 8:32:15 PM
When I was young and stupid, the third date would've probably been a reasonable option in my mind.

Now that I'm older and stupid, the third date seems kinda soon.

I have indeed heard of it. Are you implying something? lol
 Singlemale1962
Joined: 9/21/2006
Msg: 192
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 8:38:23 PM
I dont get it because romance is the art of making someone else feel special. Its not about items or behavior but the sincere and honest effort to make your significant other feel important.

I have dated several woman and for each woman its always something different that makes them feel special. Sometimes its a romantic setting, sometimes its a special gift, and other times its just a effort to step up and do something ordinary and everyday so that it give your significant other a chance to have time either together or alone.

For example once I did some errands I knew my S/O needed to have done. Was a day I wasnt busy and she had a lot of things she needed to take care of. So I did her laundry, Did her shopping and picked up her kids and took them to their grandma's house.

So when my s/o got home from work she had the entire night off. I offered to cook her dinner or even just to give her a massage. She just wanted to relax and read a little and take a nap. While it didnt start off as a romantic night after she woke from her nap she was relaxed and we had a terrific night. She had been so busy she hadnt had time for herself and my gift to her while not some great gift or romantic plan it ended up being just what she needed to recharge her batteries and enjoy the rest of the night with me.

And it became romantic because she knew why I did it and she had alot of her worries for that day gone and could relax and spend a special night with me.
 NoseyNeighbor
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 193
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 8:39:28 PM
You are not aware of the so called "third date rule"? No sex before at the very least the third date...


IMO...This is yet another stereotypical, anecdotal myth perpetrated by zombies incapable of independent thought. So lazy, they let others do their thinking for them. For them, reasoning and choices center on which car they should buy. which fast food to buy, agonizing decisions over who to get advise from Ophra or Springer.
 RedCassandra
Joined: 10/9/2007
Msg: 194
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 8:39:45 PM

When I was young and stupid, the third date would've probably been a reasonable option in my mind.

Now that I'm older and stupid, the third date seems kinda soon.


Ohhh... fishing for compliments, aren't we?

Ok... I'll play along...

*girly voice*
You don't sound stupid at all, sir.
*flips hair*


OT: I think that what makes a confusion is the assumption that there are rules that apply to all.
A person spending any time on forums would learn really fast that there is not a songle one rule that we all agree on.
Sadly, many people use those rules to replace communication... and that is precisely what creates confusion.

Being an alien I kind of assume that "my rules" don't overlap with other people's rules... so, I try to to talk things out...
I know... I am kind of old fashioned that way.

 Mr Happy Pants
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 195
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 8:47:23 PM

I think that what makes a confusion is the assumption that there are rules that apply to all.


There aren't rules that apply to all. Especially something like this. If a person doesn't have sex by the third date -------------- then what? You ditch them because they didn't have sex with you?

What kind of logic is that? I suppose a person would dump someone in that scenario if they're out for sex. If you're lookin for an actual relationship, I'd like to think someone would give it more time? Or no? Is that not part of the rule?

Not fishing for compliments either. lol I readily admit to having a very simple mind when it comes to dating.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 196
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 8:49:58 PM
Nothing simple with your thinking Mr. Happy! I like to think/believe that when dating we take things in our own sweet time. Never mind the third date rule. I have never applied that. Just have learned it here since being online. Sex happens when and if both parties are agreeable! Of course, there is nothing like some romance/courting to get you to that point. Third date rule or not.
 Mr Happy Pants
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 197
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 8:54:25 PM
Trust I won't be applying any third date rule to anything. Of course, that would mean I've actually had a first date. That's funny enough.
 Renaissance Man 1950
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 198
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 8:56:43 PM
If a person doesn't have sex by the third date -------------- then what? You ditch them because they didn't have sex with you?


No, because she "just wasn't that into you", otherwise, she would want to have sex with you. You can agree, or not, with the rationale, but it was to avoid those endless "maybe" things, where you do stuff together, but aren't connecting on a romantic (sexual) level.

At this point in life, I accept that people get into relationships with different objectives, and some are focused on friendship and companionship. I "know" that, but don't "get it". Personally, if two people claim to be "into" each other "romantically", and they are grown ups, I can't fathom it taking 3 dates to do what people do, when they are sexually interested in each other. Anything beyond that, to me, seems unimaginable, but I know it happens that way for some. It would never get that far for me, though.
 NoseyNeighbor
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 199
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 9:01:48 PM

You are not aware of the so called "third date rule"?


How very uniformed you are


The general consencus is no sex until the third date.


Now the amazing 180 with a 1/2 twist.


Never mind the third date rule. I have never applied that. Just have learned it here since being online. Sex happens when and if both parties are agreeable!


Talk about flip-flopping hypocrites.
 Mr Happy Pants
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 200
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2008 9:04:21 PM

No, because she "just wasn't that into you", otherwise, she would want to have sex with you. You can agree, or not, with the rationale, but it was to avoid those endless "maybe" things, where you do stuff together, but aren't connecting on a romantic (sexual) level.


So if a woman doesn't want to have sex with me by third date, she's not interested? lol

No, I don't agree but to each his own.

The whole point is to do stuff together?? That's courting! Isn't that the point of this damn thread, that no one courts anymore? You're with someone because you like their company and you want to get to know them. You can't possibly know very much by date number three.
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