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| Remember to update with age. Do both sexes do this?
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:03:39 PM | | I am who I am and update myself according to what " I " like. Some people prefer to criticize others but when all is said and done, those who dress to please themselves are usually more genuine. | |
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| Remember to update with age. Do both sexes do this?
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:12:57 PM | | People are who they are. You could temporarily update someone but they will go back to their comfort level. Instead of trying to change people - just move on until you find someone with the same tastes. | |
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| Remember to update with age. Do both sexes do this?
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:30:32 PM | Wow, OP ,, you have some view of men my age,,or your dating the wrong ones,,
I'm very careful about my color choices for my walls,, I replaced all my furniture after my wife passed away. Hell it took me a year to find the right bathroom rug.. My house can be messy at times,, I can blame most, not all of that on my son.. my hair is always cut. Geeze where are you finding these men you speak of,, I don't know any,, and I have lots of male friends,, Some one said 501 jeans,, I agree that is my standard of dress,, yet my suits will always be in style or I won't wear it, and I will buy new ones,, , the same goes for ties,, If I'm working in a customer's house,, the shirt is always tucked in,,jean never have holes in them ,, unless, I'm tiling, painting or doing a roof,,
No I don't want to live over a garage or a cave,, I would rather have a large master bed room and bath,, yes young at heart,, because that is where I like to play,, leave the garage to the guy who want to fix the cars, mine would be just for parking my truck and storing my work tools,, and,, yes a frig,, for my buds,, just in case I have to sleep there when the woman ( if I should find one) kicks me out,, LOL  | |
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| Remember to update with age. Do both sexes do this?
Posted: 7/20/2008 10:28:17 PM | ...Hmmm, just checked out your profile pics norm and I would say you look mighty fine in your 501 's and white shirt..... nicely tucked in of course...You obviously take pride in your appearance and keep yourself in top shape. I don't think the OP was referring to men such as yourself.
...maeflowers
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| Remember to update with age. Do both sexes do this?
Posted: 7/21/2008 4:31:52 AM | As always mae, your too sweet and kind,, 
OP, somethings, people are just who they are,, if a man doesn't fit your life style, move on,, if you find that old friends have aged differently than you,, why judge it, or them..
If a man chooses to live in a one room apartment, or a mansion,, does that really matter..
I dated this woman for about a month,, she comes in to my home,, starts rearranging my kitchen,, I asked what are you doing,, she said,, this will make cooking easier,, I said sure for you,, but I like it the way it is,, then she says where are the plastic cups,, I don't use them I said,, because I hate plastic,, she continues to say your son should drink out of plastic, just in case his drops a glass or wants to take his drink out side,, sure, valid point,, but still I don't like plastic cups or plates,,
Then the following week,, she comes with this bag full of plastic cups and plates,, proceeds to put them in my cabinets,, I said thank you,, but if you put those things in my cabinets,, when you leave I'm throwing them out,, Guess what,, I throw those plates and cups out,, and she never came to my house again either.. | |
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| Remember to update with age. Do both sexes do this?
Posted: 7/21/2008 5:27:36 AM | The OP, probably without even realizing it, touches on what should be the central theme of ALL relationships – Compatibility.
Too many confuse physical attraction/chemistry (instant gratification) with compatibility (lasting over the long run). They are two VERY different things, people!
You can be wildly in lust with someone and think they're the most erudite, charming, magnetic, suave, sophisticated, sexy, (insert own personal trait preference here...lol) in the world, but you could be about as compatible as broccoli and ice cream.
How about this extreme example just to illustrate my point: You meet someone and just bowled over by their looks and personality, and vice-versa. I mean, you two ooze chemistry and you truly believe you've found the perfect match, but find out the object of your ultimate affections has a side job -- serial killer...lol. You might still have great attraction, but the person is hardly compatible, right? (unless you're into serial killers...lol)
Income, lifestyle, habits, personality type, etc. ALL have a bearing on compatibility, and if the differences are so marked that you can spell them out blindfolded your relationship is more than likely destined to fail, no matter how "In Love" you think you are at the beginning.
Now, sheer will and explosive chemistry might propel things for a few months, even years, before exhaustion, but without compatibility things WILL eventually fizzle, and sooner than later. It seems, however, that many are OK with this prospect and believe for some odd reason that being together for less than five years is the height of success, and have no problem stating so. To me that's not a long term "success", but a short term interval until you find the next Loverboy/Sugar Hottie (depending on gender) that excites you.
It's all part of our society's disposal, instant gratification, what's-in-it-for-me?, what-have-you-done-for-me-lately?, selfish, transient, narcissistic relationship mindset. And I don't see it changing any time soon (if anything it's getting worse). | |
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| Remember to update with age. Do both sexes do this?
Posted: 7/21/2008 6:24:44 AM | OP: Could it be that you yourself may have fallen into some sort of a rut? Is it that you keep meeting men that by your description put me in mind of Art Carney at the kitchen table?
I truly have not met too many men like you describe, in fact much the opposite. I find they can be quite in tune with the latest fashions; what looks well on them, and in their homes. I have discovered they dress to impress, and succeed. I find that their "bachelor pads" reflect their tastes. The things they love, that were once regulated to the den, office, or play room now become the center of attention and the theme for their new place and their new lives. One gentlemen has his sports memorabilia tastefully displayed on the walls above his leather sofa, on his sleek iron and stone end tables and at various other points in his apartment.
Another has created a home for him and his college aged sons built around the movies and arcade games they love. A little garish for me, perhaps but they love it and I am always comfortable there.
Still another loves antiques and has amassed an attractive collection he is quite proud of and displays.
I can go on to cite more instances of the newly divorced man's home and it's favorable reflection on him, as varied as is each man. The only theme I have noticed is the leather sofa.
Perhaps it is the eyes with which we look at things. Some may look at a man's living quarters and decide where she wants to put her things. Others of us look to see the man and get a feel for the things he loves.
Men and their homes, they smell of leather and testosterone...yummy!  | |
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| Remember to update with age. Do both sexes do this?
Posted: 7/21/2008 8:32:05 PM | I'm ok with a man's home == as long as it's clean I am am comfy, he can have all the tacky furniture, moose heads and beer signs on the wall, and even plastic plates he wants. If there's nothing in the fridge but a few beers and an old botttle of catchup == I might bring by some cokes, champange and snacks next visit.
When it comes to HIM -- I make SURE he's ok by me == first and foremost. I make SURE that I would love him JUST THE WAY HE IS -- before I try to change a thing. And I make SURE he knows I do, too.
The last serious one in my life was clean and neat -- just didn't care about how he looked otherwise.
I bought him a few nice outfits, when it was appropriate. He wore them. He still didn't care what he had on, so I had just changed some of his clothes == NOT him.
Then one day, when I went to get my hair cut, I got him to go along -- just going to take me a minute to get a trim! (haha!) When we got to the big unisex salon, a very beautiful young lady, who happend to be a VERY good barber just HAPPENED to be there that day. She JUST HAPPENED to ask him if he wanted a haircut == which he could not refuse. Soon a gorgeous young cosmetician approached, followed by a lovely manicurist. Before he knew it, sweet ladies were ooohing and aahing all over him -- and he was having FUN! My treat, of course.
So, now his skin was glowing, his nails were nicely buffed, and his new hair cut had removed about 15 years from his head.
So, again == I didn't change HIM one bit == just treated him to 1 spa day == which he enjoyed.
Right after the salon, we just happened to take his teenage daughters out to lunch. And you should have hear the fuss they made about their cool looking dad!
Remember -- I never did change HIM once. He was still his same self. He looked a LOT better, but he still didn't care how he looked.
UNTIL ---
He started getting positive feed back from everywhere! He even got that big promotion at work that he had been passed over from twice. After that HE did CHANGE. And it was all HIS idea!
After that HE even got his teeth whitened, and new glassses, too -- completely on his own, this time.
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| Remember to update with age. Do both sexes do this?
Posted: 7/21/2008 8:51:24 PM | Everyone is different. Different strokes for different folks!
As long as a person (male or female) is happy in their surroundings and clothing, really why would it matter? If you aren't happy with him/her because of their not updating then move on, perhaps there is someone else who would be happy with them.
OP I find that a lot of men are frugal, and that is not a bad character trait, IMO. As long as they are happy being who they are, why would they change something that works for them?
As we get older, a lot of us are set in our ways, and selective as far as the opposite sex is concerned, and rightly so.
I just read another post of a gentleman in his 50's asking about FWB and other words, this is part of what I am talking about. Be a young at heart older person. I want to,- no I am young at heart and that makes me feel very old with no connection
OK, what does the man in his 50s asking about FWB have to do with updating. I, for one, didn't know what that was either but figured it out after reading some posts on the forums. If someone has been married a long time, and not out into the single world for a long time, of course they wouldn't know. I would hope when married they didn't have a FWB!! 
I am young at heart also, but don't feel old without a connection. I guess you could say I am happy being me, and if I should get a connection, that would just enhance my singleness (is that a word?) LOL
JMO | |
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| Remember to update with age. Do both sexes do this?
Posted: 7/26/2008 7:00:06 PM | rdcnorm... no one is talking about you. You need to do nothing at all. You are one the few that truly do look younger than your age. I am talking about many that are 45 -50 and truly look 65 +. And it is amazing how many are in this catagory.
I think most women would take you in that room over the garage in old jean with holes in them. Might be very sexy on you, actualy. | |
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