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| Okay seriously, why don't girls reply when their profiles all say, Just send me a msg!
Posted: 7/19/2008 5:23:01 PM | OK seriously, this topic has been done to death. There are at least 10 new threads a day asking this question. OP, did you do a thread search? Have you read the forum posting rules by any chance?
Buh Bye then.
I just did a thread search & this is the only thread that came up.
Just sayin!! 
Now if the question was asked, "Why do women lie" then yes that question has been asked a lot. | |
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| Okay seriously, why don't girls reply when their profiles all say, Just send me a msg!
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:40:20 PM | I want this thread to live on, to give birth to other baby threads like this; and as a result, I have posted in this thread to bump it.
General Observations:
I can specifically remember when I first joined this site, and crafting long, thought out messages that didn't compliment a womans looks, asked her about the things in her profile in a thoughtful way. I was honestly surprised when I was not responded to at all, and that some of my messages were unread/deleted, much to my chagrin.
The women and men in this thread are absolutely correct. Notable contributions from Techpeg with the "new guys that come in expecting the same courtesy they receive in real life on the internet". While the OP left awhile ago to avoid the scathing wrath of the e-scorn rife in pages 2-4, I am left with quite a bit of sorrow, as we are not able to have a decent conversation on this message board without people telling you that there:
1) is a thread search on these forums
2) this thread has been done 23908402938402394023948234 times before
3) soylent green is people.
Guess what, folks: this is a message board! You can post almost whatever you and gain insight from people who have been, or are in, your particular situation. In addition, no one ever forces you to read these threads at all! If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all! Just GTFO, and pick a thread you want to read about! Don't worry about policing the interblags for me, I have a college degree in gameboy!
I will vote to delete nice guy threads when I don't see any "he's married/a douche/jerk/liar/cheat and-you-want-to-ask-us-if-you-think-it's-a good-idea-to-back-out-with-him-because-I don't-know-what-I-think-and-not-only-that, there-are-like-23084023842039423 guys-who-message-me-without-reading-my-epic-verse/10-word-profiles-why-can't-I-find-a-nice-guy? " threads.
There are always gonna be new people on this site asking questions that have, oh and here's the kicker; I really hope you are watching this because it's gonna be on the test, have been asked before! I know that might be a little too much for the message board lynch mob, but I emplore you, just to let it go! You know when you put messages into threads you don't like, it actually raises it on the thread list!
I highly recommend counting to ten and leaving the room when you don't see threads you like!
Decisive Conclusion:
There are going to be threads you don't like on here, but then again, you do not have to read a single one of them. I know women are going to ignore messages that I send and be somewhat of a douche sometimes and do the unread/delete thing, or we'll talk and after 3-4 messages stop messaging me, and then a week later delete their profile because they are tired of meeting jerks on this website and how they can't meet a nice guy on here (which happened, btw. I thought it was hilarious!), but new people aren't going to know this, and new guys on Plenty of Fish are gonna be well in the dark about operations on this site. Cut them some slack!
XOXO,
Prosthetic Aesthetic | |
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| Okay seriously, why don't girls reply when their profiles all say, Just send me a msg!
Posted: 7/19/2008 8:06:28 PM | Very well written P.A.
There will always be new people on this forum, this is true. I don't think that allows for ignorance though.
Pointing out the fact there are rules on this forum, stickied at the top of every forum page, there is a thread search (which they would know if they read the rules) and these types of threads have been done a billion and a half times - although these statements can be rather harsh at times they are still written in a courteous way to point out to the n00b's that these are the facts. Otherwise the next time they have a question that has already been beaten to death, they will post it opposed to possibly doing a proper thread search, and taking the information given in a general way and being smart enough to relate it to their situation. I realize that is quite a bit to ask of some people, but it seems to work for the most part. Not often will a n00b post a 2nd thread on a redundant subject.
Edit : I was a forum n00b myself at one point, and took quite a bit of harshness (on other sites) for posting stuff before I really knew anything about forums. It's pretty much part of the "n00b" status. | |
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| Okay seriously, why don't girls reply when their profiles all say, Just send me a msg!
Posted: 7/19/2008 9:40:38 PM | Again, is no problem to me, is only problem to those who create it for themself.
This is a wonderful excuse I can extend to damn near any possible behavior, up to and including premeditated murder. Hey, no problem for me, just the dead guy!  Gonna have to wait for a better reason before I do that. 
I did not understand this insult to me. "uncultured Internet monkeys"
It's not an insult, it's just a fact. You even said yourself that PoF isn't treated like real life. So what standard do you guys hold conduct to around here? Clearly a lower one.
It doesn't matter anyway, since it wasn't directed at you personally, and apparently ...
This is the "problem." I am happy to do that to most message.
... you don't do it anyway. So I'm not talking about you.
I stand behind my original comment; read but undeleted sucks because it gives people the impression you're still going to do something. "Read Deleted" I got no problem with. It's still a touch rude by normal standards, but as stated, people have good reasons for rejection without conversation. Hell, even I slam the phone as soon as I know the caller's a telemarketer. Can't blame you. But it was just a quick thought I threw out there, I wasn't expecting it to carry on 2 pages later. Time to kill this sucker. 
Good post prostheticaesthetic. And lmao @ mikeiii714. | |
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| Okay seriously, why don't girls reply when their profiles all say, Just send me a msg!
Posted: 7/19/2008 10:52:07 PM | nocatchyname:
You are absolutely correct on that one, sir. There are rules, and it took me years to get over my own nOOb status and realize these rules are kind of enforced after being thoroughly e-schooled on forum policies at other places as well.
I just felt that this site in general is in kind of a grey area, but these forums are just as punishing as the others I have been to. The broken hearts section (while I never posted in it) played a crucial role in my own breakup recovery, and I dunno if the rules are different on there, but there is a lot more leeway on what is considered to be acceptable posting. I almost feel like should be the standard, unless we are getting bandwidth choked on redundant threads.
Alas, can't we all just get along? | |
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| Okay seriously, why don't girls reply when their profiles all say, Just send me a msg!
Posted: 7/19/2008 11:03:05 PM | It could be that they are busy at the momment or either they have signed off the site an few hours before you sent the message or maybe some just don't want to talk and find it easier to just, ignore the email instead of giving an reply back.
I don't know you at all but honestly i wouldn't see where you had this kind of problem. | |
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| Okay seriously, why don't girls reply when their profiles all say, Just send me a msg!
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:23:20 AM |
Many, many females on the forums have stated time and again that they receive so many emails, "I just don't have the time to respond to any of them". Interpretation and what they really mean to say is, "I don't really give a shvt"! And "no man is deserving of a respectful response".
Countryman you make a good point --- the attitude that responding is too much of a chore gives a preview of what dating such a woman would be like:
• She wants you to call, and you do, but she doesn't return your calls --- "I was busy."
• She wants you to pick a place to eat or a place to hang out, but won't give you details about what she likes to do or eat or what she finds interesting --- "Y'know...just something FUN"
• She won't make a date for Friday, but asks you to call every night of the week to see if she will be free on Friday. On Friday, she tells you she made plans on Monday to hang out with her friends --- "I just don't have the time to call you about every little thing."
Be THANKFUL this type of woman NEVER writes back to you. | |
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| Okay seriously, why don't girls reply when their profiles all say, Just send me a msg!
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:29:16 AM | This is a wonderful excuse I can extend to damn near any possible behavior, up to and including premeditated murder. Hey, no problem for me, just the dead guy! Gonna have to wait for a better reason before I do that
Murder and some "18 year old girl did not spend extra time of her day to reject me in the proper way" are two very different thing. But you know this. When somebody tell me why this is a real problem anyone should care about, I will think of it like a real problem.
Until then, I will not hold the hand of people 2 and 3 time my age and cry with them about not getting formal reject letter. I am in a country with a 20% HIV/AIDS population, and people want me to give tears because not getting two sentence reply? Grow up or get out. I am sure that will be quote as be insensetive, but I have less polite and compassion for people create problem when one is not exist.
On other hand, if one i so damage in the head that not getting this special reject letter truely is something that bother him when he try to sleep at night, I do hope he get help and get better.
It's not an insult, it's just a fact
My English is clearly not good but I think I have better understand of words "insult" and "fact" than you. ;)
I stand behind my original comment; read but undeleted sucks because it gives people the impression you're still going to do something. "Read Deleted" I got no problem with. .
I can not please everybody, I guess. Read delete bother Raqitbalguy and many other. I try be polite and reply nice mail when I can ( read but no delete). You think this sucks. I am expect to spend time answering every mail right now even if I want to do something more fun, this would bother me.
Sorry to everybody else, but the chooise of my own happyness (even on such small scale)and that of stranger I never or ever will meet, go to myself. :) | |
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| Okay seriously, why don't girls reply when their profiles all say, Just send me a msg!
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:32:06 AM | Countryman you make a good point --- the attitude that responding is too much of a chore gives a preview of what dating such a woman would be like:
• She wants you to call, and you do, but she doesn't return your calls --- "I was busy."
• She wants you to pick a place to eat or a place to hang out, but won't give you details about what she likes to do or eat or what she finds interesting --- "Y'know...just something FUN"
• She won't make a date for Friday, but asks you to call every night of the week to see if she will be free on Friday. On Friday, she tells you she made plans on Monday to hang out with her friends --- "I just don't have the time to call you about every little thing."
There is big time differents of communicating with a single person you care about and dozens of strangers. | |
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| Okay seriously, why don't girls reply when their profiles all say, Just send me a msg!
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:47:32 AM | Murder and some "18 year old girl did not spend extra time of her day to reject me in the proper way" are two very different thing.
Pretty much my point, yes. Thank you.
On other hand, if you are so damage in the head that not getting this special reject letter truely is something that bother you when you try to sleep at night, I do hope you get help and get better.
I actually said, very explicitly, that I wasn't losing sleep over it. Post 75; go look. It's a very minor thing with a very minor solution, and I've already stated that I know it's just my opinion and I don't expect the world to conform or something. You really seem to think I'm taking this, like, super-duper serious here. You told me to have fun, that's really all I'm doing at this point ...
My English is clearly not good but I think I have better understand of words "insult" and "fact" than you. ;)
You did a skillful job of editing my qualification there. I'll repeat it: "You even said yourself that PoF isn't treated like real life. So what standard do you guys hold conduct to around here? Clearly a lower one."
Since you've basically agreed with me already, and I'm agreeing with your agreeing with me, why argue? 
I can not please everybody, I guess.
Well, that's a given. Like I said, you do your thing, I'll do my thing, no one can make everyone happy. We've all got different standards. Peace. | |
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| Okay seriously, why don't girls reply when their profiles all say, Just send me a msg!
Posted: 7/20/2008 3:03:15 AM | To author of this thread here is some advice for you:
Repeat after me, This website is a giggle. Enjoy.
I don't believe this is at all a serious tool to use as far as dating goes. Perhaps a small hand full of people find someone here that they are well off with but they are a very small minority. From a male point of view this website is a sorry reflection of real life but even worse still. Much like real life you have to keep in mind that about 70% of all people are in a relationship at any given time. Yes that is a fact. You don't have to take my word for it, look it up. To worsen the odds even further it is a known fact that many females make profiles on dating sites with their only intention to boost confidence. They make a profile, but up some provocative pictures and as a result get a flood of males kissing their ass and telling them how beautiful they are. Imagine what an ego boost that is for women?
As males we don't have that luxury. I'm a decent looking guy. My profile wording is far from perfect but I think it's far from horrible. Want to guess how many woman contacted me in the previous year? 2. Yes, just two. And only one of which was mostly cute. A little on the heavy side but that's ok with me. I contact many and only get a response back probably from around 1 in 5 attempts. Getting a second response back probably is more like 1 in 20.
As a male on POF I can just say Welcome to the club. Don't take it very seriously. Just poke around and have a bit of fun. If something actually happens well then good for you! | |
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| Okay seriously, why don't girls reply when their profiles all say, Just send me a msg!
Posted: 7/20/2008 3:04:48 AM | Calling someone or group they might belong to "uncultured Internet monkeys" is not fact. What you type after is not relevent to the fact of it being insult. Makeing claim that "not like real world" is the same as treat people without respect online, was your work, not mine. I say POF is not like real world in respond to chatting with more than one person as the same as standing on bar screaming for everybody attention.
I actually said, very explicitly, that I wasn't losing sleep over it. .
Is why I edit to not refer to you. Not fast enough. :( People do make big deal of this. They do not mention the thousand other way people are impolite, they focus on this. Not getting the attention they feel entitle to. | |
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| Okay seriously, why don't girls reply when their profiles all say, Just send me a msg!
Posted: 7/20/2008 3:10:00 AM | Calling someone or group they might belong to "uncultured Internet monkeys" is not fact. What you type after is not relevent to the fact of it being insult.
"We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true." -- Robert Wilensky
I may also introduce you to the "Greater Internet F*ckwad Theory". Take a joke. Seriously.
Makeing claim that "not like real world" is the same as treat people without respect online, was your work, not mine.
And I maintain that you and I have different standards of respect. This is well established at this point. Nothing left to discuss. | |
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| Okay seriously, why don't girls reply when their profiles all say, Just send me a msg!
Posted: 7/20/2008 3:37:03 AM | They make a profile, but up some provocative pictures and as a result get a flood of males kissing their ass and telling them how beautiful they are. Imagine what an ego boost that is for women?
This theory alway make me laugh. If she is so beautiful and guys give her so much attention, why does she need website to help her ego?
I am glad you say to not take POF so seriously but this idea is silly.
Take a joke. Seriously.
Know your audience. ;) I clearly did not get it the first time. | |
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| Okay seriously, why don't girls reply when their profiles all say, Just send me a msg!
Posted: 7/20/2008 9:11:17 AM | OK, this is my first post ever on here and I've read and realized that this has been an ongoing issue.
My 2 cents is this: I've had a ton of men mail me. I'm totally flattered but the reality is that if I send a nice rejection letter when I'm not interested men still have hope because they got a responce. We're not here to be pen pales.
Also if you put yourself out there like that then you have to accept that your gonna get rejected sometimes. Life does go on. There are "plentyoffish" out there!!!
Things just don't happen because you want them to. It's called reality. Let's just be adults and be realistic.
Wishing you the best,
Lil Beauty | |
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| Not settling...
Posted: 7/20/2008 9:38:47 AM | I just poured through this thread because much like c.rog, I get a little irked at these same people. I think what got missed from his original post was the detail about how the girls post specifically says "If you want to know more, just message me", and then she doesn't reply, does the whole "unread, deleted" or just reads it and never replies.
I stop by here just about every day (The ripping about having no life can now commence), and one thing I do notice is the very large amount of women who are ALSO on here every day. A number of these people fit this above criteria in the respect that they say "Hey, MSG me and we can see if we click" and I have, and they have not.
I think one thing that people in the age of Internet dating have to realize is how unwilling everyone has become to even interact with another person. They now simply read one paragraph (or less) and look at one photo and decide "Nope, not for me" and move on without ever knowing that the person they overlooked could very well be the exact one they would want in their life.
I'm sure the majority of this post will go unread, but if you have read this far, you clearly understand where I'm coming from, and of course where people like c.rog are coming from as well. Sure, there are "plenty of fish" out there, but you might find that the one that matters isn't necessarily the one that catches your eye immediately.
Good Day, Sir! ;) | |
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| Not settling...
Posted: 7/20/2008 10:06:58 AM | I do not read those message the same as you. To me "message me guys" do not mean she is interest in talking to everybody who send message. May be some think it is like invitation to someone house then kick out when you arrive. I do not see it that way.
I think one thing that people in the age of Internet dating have to realize is how unwilling everyone has become to even interact with another person. They now simply read one paragraph (or less) and look at one photo and decide "Nope, not for me" and move on without ever knowing that the person they overlooked could very well be the exact one they would want in their life.
Some people get many message they can not interact with everybody to know them. Unfortunately first impression is all she can use.
Other time, it is possible from one paragraph to know he is not the right one. May be I miss some great guys because of some strict preference i have, but I have to do what I feel is right for me. | |
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| Not settling...
Posted: 7/20/2008 10:18:01 AM | Kara,
Exactly, this is the point we, as men, have been trying to say all along. POF women will not understand this because they are the ones being pursued. They like it, they have control of it, and it strokes their egoes...and if you tell me that it doesn't, you're a liar.
I posted something similar to yours a few days ago and it went unnoticed, because it is the truth, it is air tight and they will not comment on something they know is right. Only Alexy at all of 18 years old, seems to know everything about everything and comments on everything about everything. Wise among her years...(Not)
Bottom line, there is no communication on POF especially when the women specifically ask for it in thier profiles. Only in the forums and a lot of times it is objective, a bit negative and arrogant. Very little goes to having a constructive dialogue, where an agreeable solution presents itself.
Yeah, there are POF out there, only bottom feeders. | |
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| Okay seriously, why don't girls reply when their profiles all say, Just send me a msg!
Posted: 7/20/2008 10:26:17 AM | it could be that they are busy at the momment or either they have signed off the site an few hours before you sent the message or maybe some just don't want to talk and find it easier to just, ignore the email instead of giving an reply back.
Yea when I first started using this site I read this guy's email and didn't reply right away because I had to go somewhere, when i checked my mail a few hours later he emailed me again saying "what are you just not interested? or are you too busy to email me back?!" I replied saying "Sorry I was busy at the moment nothing personal" I didn't hear from him again, I think he probably blocked me .... lol whatever no love lost. | |
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| Not settling...
Posted: 7/20/2008 10:30:38 AM |
Only Alexy at all of 18 years old, seems to know everything about everything and comments on everything about everything. Wise among her years...(Not)
I never claim to be wise. I only have an opinion.
If the opinion of an 18 year old means little, be wise mature adult and skip my post. Same if you think I post too often. :) | |
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