| | OK- this was just RUDE, and *gasp* I'm offended!!!!!Page 4 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | | how awful. but you handled that better than i would,v.. but what goes around comes around, someone will do the same to her one day.. chin up, theres alot of women who wouldnt think twice.. i lived with a man who had three boys,, they was great, HE was the problem. good luck | |
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| OK- this was just RUDE, and *gasp* I'm offended!!!!!
Posted: 8/19/2008 5:19:29 AM | | Umm, yah... that was rude of her. Sounds immature to me and very outspoken. She could have said it like that for many reasons. But it's obvious she is looking to date single guys with no kids. Don't take it personally... there's plenty of fish, some just haven't swam upstream yet. Good luck. | |
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| OK- this was just RUDE, and *gasp* I'm offended!!!!!
Posted: 8/19/2008 7:16:43 AM | | Hey I was messaging a guy off here and we were getting on great and he said something like this and I just said, fine and deleted him.... not worth it.... my son comes first... always will! | |
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| OK- this was just RUDE, and *gasp* I'm offended!!!!!
Posted: 8/19/2008 8:56:12 AM | | I don't know if that's lack of class. Is it any different than saying I don't want any kids myself? People have a right to the kind of life they want. Think of it this way, she saved you a bunch of time and probably money. There are plenty of fish in the sea, har har. So if someone says you're close but not what's going to work for me for whatever reason, let it bead off and be thankful they were honest instead of looping you into taking her out a few times THEN finding out it was a deal-breaker. You got lucky. | |
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| OK- this was just RUDE, and *gasp* I'm offended!!!!!
Posted: 8/19/2008 8:59:46 AM | I don't think kids should come first either. IMO it's a huge problem in our society that parents put their children before their marriages. Now, I'm not condoning some kind of violence or mistreatment, but IF you marry the RIGHT spouse and hold that marriage highly by being willing to give in where you don't always agree and making time for that relationship to ensure it is secure at all times, the relationships with the kids fall into place. In most religions, especially Christianity, this is the fundamental lesson on how to make a FAMILY work, it's about balance but it starts with a husband and wife, building love that trickles down to the kids.
If you marry the right person but always ask them to take a back seat to your committments to your children, it just isn't going to work. If you move from being a single parent to a married one, you should consider saying to your children, things will change for the better, but that means I have to make time for this marriage because I believe it will benefit you in the long run. | |
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kmb74
| | Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 81 | |
| OK- this was just RUDE, and *gasp* I'm offended!!!!!
Posted: 8/19/2008 9:20:10 AM | You know, Indygirl, when I read your post, I was ready to respond back to you in full force, but then I really thought about what you said and I do somewhat agree.
When dating, I think kids should come first for several reasons. 1. They're your kids and you're responsible for their upbringing, they are totally dependant upon you. 2. Until a relationship lead to marriage (and even sometimes after..lol) you don't know if that person will be around, your kids always will. I think there's room enough for both if it's handled properly.
When you are married, that relationship deserves a chance to thrive, but it shouldn't be at the expense of kids, it should be in addition to your kids. That's kind of like saying that you oldest kid comes first, your second comes second and so on. Relationships and love are not in order of priority, most of us have enough time and love for those we chose to have in our lives. There are times in our lives where certain people and relationships need more attention than others. The key to making them all work is finding that balance, ya know?????
Great post! | |
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| OK- this was just RUDE, and *gasp* I'm offended!!!!!
Posted: 8/19/2008 12:12:44 PM | I think my favorite one ever was someone who took the time to send this:
"Wow. Divorced with 2 kids at 31? Good luck with that mess."
My response:
"Wow. Tactless and ignorant at 34? Good luck with that."
:D
People. They have the dumb sometimes...and generally, no tact or class. | |
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| OK- this was just RUDE, and *gasp* I'm offended!!!!!
Posted: 8/19/2008 12:49:00 PM | It happens ... and when it does, it just shows me that was the wrong person ... and I tell you, I'm thankful to learn that sooner, rather than later down the road.
I agree with you it's rude, but worse yet .... it's SAD!
But it's their wishes, so I try not to let it get to me. But then I think, most of us who have hit a certain age ... do have kids. So people with closed minds like that, it doesn't give them many people to get to know. So, it's no wonder why so many people say "they don't have children on their profiles" when they do. For they hope, that after someone gets to know them for who they are, they won't mind they have kids and their children won't matter?
It's stuff like this that makes the dating life so hard. I keep praying for WORLD PEACE just as much as I pray that some day people will ACCEPT people, for who they are! | |
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| OK- this was just RUDE, and *gasp* I'm offended!!!!!
Posted: 8/20/2008 12:02:03 AM | There's alot of normal people out there who have no problem dating a single parent but unfortunately it's not always a good financial or emotional decision to take on more than you can handle.
We're not young anymore, we're older and much wiser and giving to those who need us because we love them unconditionally...having no problems putting our extravagant vacations, traveling, remodeling, yacht, new car, constant eating out, gambling, and other dreams behind til kids are educated and out on their own. Most single parents are fine with that and are very happy that the kids are doing fine and growing up good while we enjoy grandma watching for       music dancing etc | |
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| OK- this was just RUDE, and *gasp* I'm offended!!!!!
Posted: 8/20/2008 8:12:57 AM | | OMG so you are upset because she has a preference for the types of guys she chooses to date and you happen to not fit into that category. Welcome to the world............I am not tall enough, blonde enough, this enough and that enough for several guys and you won't see me crying about it...........just move on. | |
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| OK- this was just RUDE, and *gasp* I'm offended!!!!!
Posted: 8/20/2008 8:57:59 AM |
So - I get a message from a girl who's profile I had viewed, and saved to my faves list. Before I can even send her a message, she's sent me one, informing me that "It's really too bad you have a kid, because other than that, you're really hot. But I don't date guys with kids." WTF????!!!! is that? I don't get too riled about much, but damn that torqued me off! I don't even know what else to say...... never underestimate human stupidity I guess.....
That would tick me off too. I have had NO luck since my split in the dating field. EVERY guy I meet doesnt want to date me because I have a kid. The last guy that tried dating me, even told me that his only problem with me was that I had a kid. I think it is a curse to be a single parent. When you get into a situation with someone and you are not happy, they are doing you wrong and you have a kid, your damned if you do and damed if you dont go! Just so you know I feel your pain!
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| OK- this was just RUDE, and *gasp* I'm offended!!!!!
Posted: 8/20/2008 10:30:30 AM | Here's a laugh for ya...
I agreed to meet this 37 year old at a festival. She brought her 20 year old daughter (didn't know she had one) who was pregnant but not married, b/f lived with them but no plans on marriage. I just thought 'do I seem to be that stupid to you" LOL. I just have a 7 year old and you want me to step into this  .
Single parents should look for other single parents with kids of similar ages or singles who want to settle down, alot easier | |
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| OK- this was just RUDE, and *gasp* I'm offended!!!!!
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:30:15 PM | I've had similar and I just read and delete. Whatever. Thank God an b!tch/a$$hole like that wants nothing to do with me - one less to deal with.
Be glad she showed up front what a heartless wench she is, that way you don't waste any time on her! | |
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| OK- this was just RUDE, and *gasp* I'm offended!!!!!
Posted: 8/20/2008 9:34:55 PM | | I don't see anything wrong with being less attracted to someone because they have kids. The fact that she jumped to conclusions and sent you a message saying no, she won't date you because you have kids was the part that would've annoyed the shit out of me. I have a few favorites, and I don't want to date them all. I imagine most of the people who have me on their favorites don't want to date me, either. | |
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