| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 8:24:11 AM | | I did the exact same thing many years ago, when I was a lot yougner,and a lot dumber. I ended up having a fling w/ a female co-worker. I didn't tell her I would deny it, but I DID tell her to keep it to herself( office gossip) . Sure enough the VERY next day she blabbed it the break room. Now I've got people coming up to me asking questions ,and whatnot.A real hassle. I tell her that she broke our agreement, and that would be the last time we'd hook up because she obviously didnt know how to keep her mouth shut. Well long story short, she flipped WAAAY out.I'll spare you the details, but suffice it to say it ended up w/ the police. What I learned was you really gotta judge a person's character before you screw 'em. Also you have to take a good look in the mirror, and examine your own motvations as well. OWN YOUR PART IN IT! She's crazy alright, but she feels wronged by you. Make it right,so she'll stop. Even if you feel like you didnt do anything...make it right for HER soshe'll stop fukking w/ you. And then chalk it up to a life lesson and try not to repeat it again. The next time you hook up w/ someone, make sure you like them ,and have enough respect for them to not want to deny them. | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 8:29:27 AM |
I am making an assumption here that most of you are in your 20's. I am near enough to 70 it doesn't matter.
Isn't there a "Don't kiss and tell" ethic in dating anymore? Is that just an old fashioned idea? According to my point of view she broke every rule going by going in a spreading the word, how embarrassing to have everyone know your business, your idiocies or your conquests, depending on your point of view.
Clearly she is looking for attention. If I were a man I would never send her a card, a note and certainly not a gift card. There's no entitlement here, she's a nutcase.
Ooooh, her poor self-esteem. Many people's self-esteem is vastly overated to the point they think they have bragging rights and can trash other people's world. If most people's self-esteem were lowered a few notches they might be humble and courteous and treat others with respect. Hold that good thought!
Being drunk is no excuse for boorish behavior, but that was 15 months ago. A normal person would be OVER it. I agree with your cop friend, let it go. She is trying to get you to respond. Just like a bratty kid who needs attention and figures even negative attention is better than no attention at all
I'm probably the oldest one on this thread, and that's my point of view, for what it's worth.
Watch your back and do everything right. Control your drinking and you'll have fewer problems in the future
And this is what most people don't understand. He was drunk. This woman knew what she was doing and now she wants more attention. She took him to bed and she bragged about it. Most people want to see it the other way. | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 8:35:29 AM | Dude you used her, then made her feel shameful and angry. While I agree what she did to you car is wrong, can you blame her?
Tell me - how would you feel if some women slept with you, even telling you she wouldnt admit it, then getting high 5s for it.
I bet you'd feel like hurting the women that did that to you | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 8:57:01 AM | Boy you guys are brutal with this young man.
Yes, he shouldnt have got drunk and slept with someone he had no attraction for, but he did and she agreed, and then went and told the people from work. If he had gone and said he got drunk and slept with her and joked or laughed about it he would have been out of line.
So after it was over he told her he'd deny it which would have been an embarrassment for any other woman and would certainly have not mention it to the people at work. It would have ended there.
They slept together............a mistake on BOTH their parts. That certainly does not give her the right to carry a vindetta for the next 15 months.
OP....I have no advise on what you can to do stop this. I fear trying to talk to her will only esculate the matter. I hope this has been one big learning experience for you.
KNOW YOUR PSYCOS before sleeping with them.
And Bettywriter I am sure your not the oldest on this thread LOL | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 8:59:05 AM | Just consider yourself lucky that she didn't get pregnant !! Tell anyone that asks, the
truth, and be dammed. Easier than lying about it. Everyone makes mistakes. Maybe you could find some desperate , hard up guy to pursue her. She'd then be too busy
for the likes of you. It could happen. It sounds like she's not playing with a full deck.
As long as you didn't rape her, it's her fault too, so to hell with her .  | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 9:23:03 AM | Dude you used her, then made her feel shameful and angry. While I agree what she did to you car is wrong, can you blame her?
Yes, you can!...clearly she is very unstable!
He told her before they slept together that he would deny it....any woman with as little as an ounce of smarts would leave there and then, but she didn't..she knew what she was dealing with, and went along with it. So was she not using him for exactly the same purpose? ...and then to wait 12 months before displaying her outburst is totally mental!!!
Firstly, for seething a whole year about an incident that she herself agreed to participate in, IS NOT NORMAL!
Secondly, knowing the situation and the threat of denial...she decided to broadcast it around the workplace.WHY?
...trashing someone's property because they annoyed you in some way is outrageous and shows the instability she has right there! The post didn't say whether she was still working there...if so...is that not leverage? | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 9:26:41 AM | Bassman...."And this is what most people don't understand. He was drunk. This woman knew what she was doing and now she wants more attention. She took him to bed and she bragged about it. Most people want to see it the other way."
........Are you understanding the part where yes he was drunk but not drunk enough to know he would regret it? and TOLD her so? Last I knew a guy that was SOOOO drunk wouldnt be able to get it up in the first place....gimme a break! AND I believe all we are ALL trying to say is that he SHOULD NOT have done it in the first place knowing the circumstances....AND she should not have done it knowing how he felt...THEY are BOTH wrong BUT...my thing is? He should apologize for the hurtfulness of the situation which in turn will probably get her to stop and I FIRMLY believe he should NOT exspect any simpathy for his dispicable behaviour....
In his OP he asks as if he is better than her and wants simpathy....uh? no! You reap what you sow my friend......
AGAIN...I am NOT saying what she is doing is in any way shape or form appropriate either.
OP? you just come off as some guy who thinks he was too good for some chick he "banged " while drunk.....HOW did you think people would respond?! Maybe you should add some compassion here and people would have been more understanding...but I notice you just dont have any and it makes you come off as a jerk....ANOTHER thing? Dont be so concerned with everyones age...you are QUITE young and unfortunatley your post shows your age......GROW UP...MAN UP...and SHUT UP.... | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 9:33:35 AM | right. at the age of 23, you never once told anyone that you're really drunk and that you'd deny it -- or better yet, you never even told them that much. or maybe you never did that, if that's the case -- kudos to you.
That's an 18 year old thing to do, not a 23 year old thing to do.
As was said, you BOTH sound immature. Funny you should mention Karma, because it looks like it's come around to bite YOU in the ass. That's what happens when you use people.
He should apologize for the hurtfulness of the situation which in turn will probably get her to stop
Exactly. She's not doing this because she's a b!tch (though she may be one, I don't know). Rather, she's doing this because she's HURT. And FOR F*CK'S SAKE, telling her that he's going to regret this, she better keep it a secret, and he'll just deny having sex with her? How DEGRADING! | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 9:38:27 AM | No matter WHAT don't ever EVER fk with another man's car...
only a woman would do such spineless thing
He says he laid out the terms before they did the nasty... so who's being immature here?
And why after a year later?
I say, setup the camera and press charges... she deserves it IMO.. | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 9:39:40 AM | | Hey , no sympathy here! Drunk BS doesn't cut it, you knew exactly what you were doing . You made her look like a cheap slut at work. Cow boy up & take what you have coming. Anything you do or say about her, only makes you look more like a jerk! You cann't cope with it , move, maybe doing all your coworkers a favor. Hopefully you will learn , not to masturbate using a womans vagina. | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 9:49:02 AM | LOL
Wow you people dont have any mercy on a guy do ya?
I totally agree though . If you were DRUNK and using it as an excuse, how did you know to say "DONT spread this vicsous gossip around, " and "dont think this is gonna happen again" and "this better not come back to haunt me" etc...
If you knew enough to clarify THAT FACT that you didnt want any gossip. then sweetheart, YOU KNEW~! I agree with BEHOLDER123, who keeps coming back to you with her input. lol
you go, girl!! | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 9:56:01 AM | | Never sleep with girls from work ! Period ! and if you do sleep with someone be a gentleman about it, not wham bam thank you! If it was a drunken excursion then its her responsibility. You told her it was a one time deal! but then again....girls have slept with me and I fell for them and they ended up using me to get back at their ex's and whatnot...and then they go back to them! I wont go chasing after them !....or wasting lunchmeat on their windshield!--LOL | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:04:10 AM | yep im agreeing with op post 'translation' ...your a coward. Obviously you dont respect women, firstly getting of with someone when your drunk and who isnt your type...then stating to her that you will deny it...come on, grow up...yes she is going over the top by wrecking your car (are you sure that this is down to this woman)? Or, have you pissed off anyone else lol!..... | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:07:02 AM | wow. what a predicament.
a:) and i have to laugh. I just saw someone on here and i didnt even know he was computer literate! *shakes head that is spinning*
Just do your best to forget the whole thing, dear! | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:08:10 AM | beholder123,
I understand fully. I also know it takes two and it was she who bragged about going to bed with him. She took advantage of him. She sure wasn't thinking about his feelings when she bragged about it. She doesn't deserve any thing from him.
Has she apologized? I don't think so. I stand by what I said. | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:10:13 AM | let me ask you something O.P.
why would you have sex with someone that you were sure that you would regret it not to mention deny it afterwards anyway?
I mean this girl is also an idiot for still having sex with you after you told her this...but still!
Are you that desperate for sex that you will sleep with anyone? (attractive or not)
And dont blame alcohol because if a drunkin state would have been the case, then you wouldnt have told her you would deny it if she told anyone before hand...You would have just done it!
I am thinking that there is a whole lot more to this little story then you are telling us!
Grow up and go play somewhere else! | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:11:55 AM |
Or, have you pissed off anyone else lol!...
Ha haha, not kidding. A man with the OP’s mentality most likely has a list of people that hate him, and he probably doesn’t even know it. | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:11:57 AM | i disagree beholder123. He doesnt need to apologize. They had agreement before the sex that she was to not tell anybody and if she did he would deny it. She broke that agreement and got pissed b/c he was denying it?! pfff
However mr OP you dig your own hole. I assume you knew she was a nut case before you slept with her. AND you're surprise she's a loony?
Get a restraining order. File an employee harassment. | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:48:32 AM | Oh,miss bettywriter....
How true.I totally agree with you.How wise you are.Thaught that i was the only one who thaught that way.
I'm not codonning or agreeing with what the op did.But he did comunicate his intentions from the start.So she knew.Why mke a big deal out of it.She should just move on and leave him be. | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:49:45 AM | This is from the OP's posting history (in a previous thread):
well....
i knew a girl that was 'hot', after being friends with her for months and seeing her go through absolute trashy drug dealers (it's funny because it's true), i told her I had the hots for her, always have, and couldn't just be friends with her anymore. bye. i also found out after hanging out with her for months, she was on all sorts of medication.
2 days later, she calls me sobbing. telling me how it's unfair of me to take 'advantage' of this relationship (never had a guy do that to me before, i dunno, i suppose it's true i don't exactly want any of my guy friends). i more or less, caved in and agreed to hang out.
a couple weeks later, i told her that i wanted nothing to do with her, and that was it.
i dunno... i suppose the universe balanced out, even though i suspect her of tossing junk on my car every now and then. i learned a few valuable life lessons thanks to it however.
Same chick, OP? You told this one you had the hots for her, but the "other one" was just a drunken one-night stand?? And yet, this one's throwing junk on your car, too?
Hmmm, I don't think we're getting the full story here. Something is a little  | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 11:00:26 AM | buy a cheap dummy video camera put in up so that it can clearly be seen - - even add a sign
then put where it can clearly be seen in your car - - - a sign saying - - video monitoring
has been installed - - - - See camera on building - - -
that is all that it will take - - - -
Also they have IR video cameras for monitoring when it is dark - - -
Jim P. | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 11:14:20 AM | PASSTHEMUSTER???????
LOL you are awseome for finding that!
Hey OP?????
What do you have to say now???? hmmmm? LMFAO!!!!!! | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 11:23:08 AM | Your cop friend said to let it slide? There are laws against harassment, and you certainly have enough reason to file charges against her.
Seek legal counsel from a lawyer, and if that doesn't work, start packing.
What a rough lesson to learn. | |
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| I don't know what to do... please.
Posted: 7/18/2008 11:29:07 AM | PassTheMuster,
That is kind of interesting. But it wouldn't surprise me if he is talking about two different women. Trashing the car of a guy that you feel wronged you seems to be very popular with young women today. I have a daughter that age. She has never done it but I do know a few of her friends have. | |
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