| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/8/2009 9:16:02 PM | Seriously Whywater, was that really necessary? Why can't people just agree to disagree without the name calling or bashing?
I happen to agree with Spoken For, that most of the men you come across online just want to have sex or one night stands; however, I'm not saying all men. But the worst ones are the ones that say that they want more than just sex and that they actually want a relationship. They are like wolves in sheep clothing. Although, I'm sure there are some people out there both men and women who don't go into it thinking it will be a one night thing but it happens for whatever reason but the problem is that it happens way too often. What's wrong with wanting more than just a one night stand? | |
|
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/8/2009 9:33:06 PM | I don't think most men are looking for one night stands. They may not turn them down if offered, but even if all a man is interested in is sex, I've noticed they are usually looking for something longer than a night.
There are exceptions of course., but really, who wants to try to find a new partner every night of the week? It sounds exhausting. | |
|
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/8/2009 11:40:44 PM | I agree lonestarstar. I know many people (both genders) who won't turn down ONS, but most do prefer to go back at least a few times. Even if it is FWB. Would like to make a few of my FWB's (only 2) and make one a dating experience.
I think most guys want that deep down. | |
|
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/10/2009 1:35:53 PM | Here are my 2-cents worth on this topic:
I love this movie so much, I don't want to distract you by writing about it too much, please just have a look at it, it will change your day:
http://www.TheQuantumLeapsMovie.com
Let me know what you think!
PS... I think it says a lot about life, love, relationships and self..... | |
|
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/10/2009 2:22:14 PM | I don't know about "most" guys, but I haven't yet met a man who only wanted a one-night-stand (with me, anyway).
Out of curiousity, to the women who believe most men on this site are only looking for one-night-stands/sex, yet in the next sentence say they have never allowed that to happen: So, how do you know that's what the men wanted? Did they tell you that? Are you assuming because they didn't date you further after NOT having sex? How do you know they just didn't like the way you behaved in turning them down and they just didn't like you anymore in ANY aspect, sexual or non-sexual? I've wondered about these questions often whenever a casual sex thread appears. Thank to any who will answer. | |
|
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/10/2009 6:54:15 PM | | Dawn1114, I can't speak for all the girls on here but as for me I've gotten quite a few IMs or e-mails with guys just wanting to have casual sex or something of the sort. One thing about some guys online, is that they seem to be more bold or is it stupid about saying and/or asking things that you normally shouldn't to a girl. To those I ignore or block and go about my merry way. | |
|
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/10/2009 8:21:56 PM | Don't label me here for this... but on Dr. Phil (yes, I watch him off & on), he had a recent show about "Gold Diggers". There was a quick, non-scientific poll asking the following with the following responses:
In a relationship what is desired?
Love: 91% women, 64% men
Sex: 3% women, 30% men
Money: 6% women, 6% men
Do not know if this info helps explain anything or not. Just wanted to share. | |
|
| |
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/11/2009 12:01:21 AM | A lot depends on what a mans/womans profile says.
Should we assume that most women on single sites are desperate? Cannot get any? Should one assume a man/woman who lists Harley's in their profile is some druggie? Should we assume if someone is disabled they are also lacking in grey matter? Should we assume a woman who is in law enforcement wants to be a man? Guess some assume all interior decorators and hair dressers are all gay men. | |
|
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/11/2009 11:27:21 AM | Sadly, labels are applied unfairly (at times) and assumptions are made daily (look at all of the losers who lost millions with Bernie Madoff....)
But to ass-u-me is one thing... to prove it through actions is another.
For me.. I like a nice woman. One that is strong yet soft. I will never put a woman in a situation such as being described. Maybe I am a prude, but sex is something to be shared by two who l.o.v.e. each other - not just out for a casual tingle of the senses. | |
|
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/11/2009 12:26:24 PM | | Lets all be honest for just this once. We are all sexual animals and at most basic level, we all after it. Guys can't hide it and are upfront about than gals (social upbringing ). Most women will be up for it ,if it wasn't as risky for women than men. | |
|
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/11/2009 1:19:00 PM |
Dawn1114, I can't speak for all the girls on here but as for me I've gotten quite a few IMs or e-mails with guys just wanting to have casual sex or something of the sort. One thing about some guys online, is that they seem to be more bold or is it stupid about saying and/or asking things that you normally shouldn't to a girl. To those I ignore or block and go about my merry way.
Yes, I understand about getting contacts for casual sex. I don't wonder at all about the women (or men, as the case may be) immediately dismissing those contacts for whatever reason. But I do still wonder why it's assumed that someone asking for casual sex is automatically ALSO looking for that casual sex to be of the one-night-stand variety. It really isn't a logical progression. Over all, it's not an important question; I was just curious. | |
|
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/14/2009 11:07:46 PM | | I suspect this topic could be hashed over for an eternity. From the first males on earth to the deluted version that exists now, we seek to penetrate often. Instinct drives us. Block all the males in POF and the problem is solved, the need to discuss resolved. To those many females that understand male instincts, let's chat! | |
|
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/14/2009 11:10:53 PM | | ^^^^^Holy Frack! I thought you were dead. How's Joanne? How's the salad dressing business? By the way, I loved you in Cool Hand Luke. But remember you yourself said and I quote, "why go out for hamburger, when you have steak at home?" Remember how p*ssed Joanne was at you for that remark? | |
|
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/15/2009 12:28:51 AM | | I think it would be wrong to over-generalise. Some men are probably into casual sexual relationships (FWB, one-night stands, etc) but many also just want a decent long-term relationship. Others may well just want female friendship at a Platonic level. Why should we be judgemental so long as such people do not inappropriately come onto us or lie about their true intentions, and just leave consenting adults to contract the relationships they want with other consenting adults according to their own consciences? | |
|
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/15/2009 5:09:04 AM | Have to keep in mind, this is an on line dating sight. No matter what, its just a crap shoot. You have to go into this with the right mind. Your going to run into some not so nice people. It just happens. We are adults and we can make adult decisions. There's no reason to feel guilty about a one night stand. If its truly something you are against, don't sleep with the person the first time around. Having sex with someone does not mean there will be a long term relationship afterwards. If you put out, well sure the other one is going to go for it. Usually the people that are out just for sex do tell you in their own way. You just have to learn how to read the signals. If you think that's what the person is after and you don't want it, walk away. If you are attracted to that person and think it is going to be the only way to
"catch" them, then you are way off track. Unreachable people will never be reached. Sex or not. | |
|
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/15/2009 6:03:01 AM | Great post. And teh reply about communications is spot on. I have met a few ladies in my travels as well. One thing I found out wa sthatIF you really listen to a woman you can tell wht type of relationship you will get. A very close and sexy lady spoke to me about why do men try by the third date to have sex. I told her it was not the call of all men. especially me since, I am really into dating and NOt into sex for the sake of committment. Sex is great WITH committmen but not FOR committement. We ll the first date went fine. The second wasbetter. I was a true gentleman. The third date was better and we expressed what we wanted in a relationship. Even the fact I was NOT looking long term but would not shut out the possibility went over well. But guess what, even though I made no move for sex, she did. I ain't no punk but nor am I a prude. I asked the questions all men should ask if sex is asked of them. Are you sure WE want to go this route. Remind her that although she is nice, sexy, and you want to continue with dating, the ORIGINAL undersatnding is still on the table. Sometimes we do get caught up in the moment, but that is no reason to throw caution to the wind. If you two agree it is okay, then go for it. But men, if you see any flags (drunk, mad at something, crying, and so on) pass it up.
But again, communications now will make it a hell of a lot easier if later she/he wants to spout the rhetoric that preceed a breakup.
Just my .02 cents worth | |
|
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/15/2009 7:38:29 AM | | I think 80% of guys on online dating sites are looking for one night stands. I'm kind of a cynic though. I haven't had any luck. I went on this date with this guy last weekend and during the entire date all he did was talk about sex so it didn't surprise me when at the end of the date he wanted to come home with me. I said 'no' bc I don't have one night stands. It also didn't surprise me when he didnt' call me later. What annoyed me was that he said that we are going to go out again and bc I didn't sleep with him he decided to blow me off. I guess it's kind of good anyway bc it shows what kind of character he is. | |
|
| |
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/15/2009 8:14:25 AM |
I think 80% of guys on online dating sites are looking for one night stands. I'm kind of a cynic though.
Kind of?!!! LOL!! Try to imagine that you are the toreador, costume and all, but no weapons-when he charges, jiggle the cape and step blithely to the left. It's not that scary; the bull always snorts and paws the ground before he makes a run at you. At some point, he'll get tired of that, and you can talk with him.
I haven't had any luck.
Tryin' to tell you that's it more like 80% skill, 20% luck of the draw.
I went on this date with this guy last weekend and during the entire date all he did was talk about sex so it didn't surprise me when at the end of the date he wanted to come home with me. I said 'no' bc I don't have one night stands.
You stepped toward the bull, not to the left. Wrong dance step, imo.
What annoyed me was that he said that we are going to go out again and bc I didn't sleep with him he decided to blow me off. I guess it's kind of good anyway bc it shows what kind of character he is.
What it shows me is that he was willing to offer a form of intimacy, and to talk about it, at considerable length (most men are most willing to talk about sex-they think it's their strong point, and it is intimate/personal, one path to the inner sanctum ). An adroit step to your left and you might have made it a conversation that led somewhere. Take him by the ear to some of your favorite places.
I doubt you learned anything about his character- all you did was revisit an unnecessary lesson about one characteristic of the male beast, and your 80% assessment suggests that you might benefit by taking some other course(s).
In Spain, they kill the bull; but elsewhere, they just take an ear. | |
|
| |
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 3/16/2009 9:21:13 AM | | I don't think most men are just looking for a 1 night stand. However that doesn't necessary mean that they would turn down an offer for sex while they are looking a serious LTR. | |
|
| |
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 4/18/2009 1:37:07 PM | | I don't think there are as many guys out there "just looking of one nighters" as some women like to think. If a guy "hit's it and forgets it" with you, it's because he wasn't that into you. If the right woman hooks up with him, he'll be back for more. And if she's just not that into him, he'll be the one hurting. The attitude of "that's all he wants", is a coping mechanism to keep from facing the fact that he just doesn't want anything more from YOU. Harsh? Maybe so, but that's just the way it is. | |
|
| Are most guys only into one night stands?
Posted: 4/18/2009 2:38:42 PM | Okay I may pi ss off some people, but here I go.
I had my share of one night stands. But interestingly enough while sex seems to be the ultimate objective the reality is that they are about the hunt. The sex tends to be a novelty, and filled with the curiosity of seeing if she is shaved, good, bad, whatever in bed. But is rarely great. Not compared with the sex you can have with the person you have been going out with for six months. So as vain as it may sound, one night stands are about testing to see if the ideas or so called game really works. What you do find out is that there are a set of predictable events and as each of those events are cross and she responded in a particular way you get closer to the kill, or to score. Again, I repeat, it's not about sex, it's about hunting.
Another thing about one night stands is that while sometimes you believe that YOU are the one hunting, it happens that YOU are indeed the prey and she was even much better at disguising her game, since women who participate in this sport tend to want to give the man the idea that he is doing some of the work. Some of the women who give the image too bluntly that they are pursuing you, in reality are just teases. They want the public display, the making out in public and if she gets enough of that, she has her thirst quenched so either avoid those. Or simply tease them and leave them.
In the end, I do prefer a longer relationship. The sex has the change to get so much better. Even when the sex was good the first time, then imagine what you can do six or one year down the road. And if you sort of miss the hunt, you can turn it into role playing with that special one, and wow, it's even better. | |
|
Home
login 
