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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/22/2008 8:07:14 PM | IT HAS TO BE IMPORTANT NOW MORE THEN EVER.
LOOK HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE AN STD  JUST BECAUSE PEOPLE SAY THEY ARE CLEAN OR THE USE PROTECTION DO NOT PUT YOURSELF IN THAT PLACE OF DANGER .
EVEN PROTECTION IS NOT 100%
BECAREFUL | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/22/2008 8:17:04 PM | Aaaah, come on - STDs are so commonplace now that it's 'normal' to carry one or more - not a big deal - what's a little disease among FWB (or is that FB)? 
The people that can 'tell' if someone's clean or not by 'getting to know' them or by 'being careful' crack me up. | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/23/2008 2:54:15 AM | | Having lots of sex doesn't mean you get STDs, it's called common sense and using protection. I'm clean and I can prove it... I have a piece of paper from the doctor showing my lab results. I have been clean for over 20 years and plan to keep it that way. :) | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:43:51 AM | I think the only answer to your question
Monogomy is it important anymore? is that monogamy is important if it's important to YOU. It's a personal choice, like all other personal choices. Asking the general population if YOUR choice is important is like asking if sex is important. Or spicy food. Or maroon sheets for your bed. Monogamy is important...to YOU, not so much for me, I'm polyamorous. | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/23/2008 7:54:08 AM | It horrifies me as well to hear of the percentage of people who do cheat and see no problem with it. It makes it very hard to trust. It's disgusting. 
I don't think you can blame cheating on society being, as you called it, "so openly obsessed with sex". I personally think this is a natural growth in society - changing with the times and I think our fascination with sex and sexuality is only natural, healthy and good. In fact I think we're a bit behind the times when you consider how paranoid our society is about nudity, treating it like it is a 'dirty' thing when in fact the human body is a natural thing of beauty, not something that should be hidden away as if bad or something to be ashamed of. I think society contradicts itself in saying 'be proud of your body' and then freaking out if any of that body is seen in public. Doesn't make sense to me.
But I digress... cheating? Too commonplace if you ask me. There are a lot of us out there who want monogamy and are looking for a partner who feels the same way. Good luck to all of us for finding that and let's hope we don't end up with partners who don't feel the same way 'cuz that's just no fun.
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/23/2008 8:10:19 AM | | Monogamy certainly is important. It is still the default baseline model for relationships, and one which is desired by - probably - the majority of people. When it works for a couple, it can work very, very well indeed. It doesn't work for everyone, and there are other relationship models that work for some people. Of course, just because many people prefer it does not mean they are always capable of living up to its ideals. This is true of any other model as well. | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/23/2008 12:43:59 PM | I heard this once
'monogamy is the just the mutual acceptance of one-another's jealousy.'
not saying I agree with it, but that seems to be the attitude anymore. | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/23/2008 1:13:04 PM | momogomy i believe is an ideal relationship, but it isn't always easy to maintain that ideal, or desireable to everyone... modern life contains alot more stress than used to be, and i feel we are becoming weaker as a species. we are cracking under these stresses and looking for 'comforters' to make the distress go away...for example sex, over-eating, n so on..
the more that succumb, the easier it is for others to succumb, including those who prefer that type of lifestyle..
sex drive incompatibility, different sexual preferences, our modern lifestyle, n so on, all increase the chances of people straying from the ideal.
when i married at 21yrs of age, i very little sexual experience n monogomy was my ideal choice.. however irrespective of my best intentions, what turns me on now, is a little 'up-notched' from what sexually satisfied me then..
finally, call me sexist if u like, but there seems to me overall, to be a big difference in what a horny men will do or desire, in various situations n how horny women will react in similar circumstances,...... in my culture anyway..
so it really is down to 'what floats ure boat'..and just try and be as honest as u can be, bearing in mind all the factors in ure situation.. | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/23/2008 1:26:53 PM | I think it is important, and I truly think that is what most people want. I further think that it is a primal thing, not learned behavior, but something deeper. Perhaps I think too much.
But I know I didn't grow up thinking (there I go again!) "Wow, I wanna be a single person, with a long string of broken hearts behind me, when I'm big."
Of course, I DID want to be a nun, so maybe I am a weirdo. I blame Sally Field. | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/26/2008 12:50:23 PM |
Having lots of sex doesn't mean you get STDs
true, agreed.
It's having lots of partners that exposes you to STDs. Common sense and condoms only keep you 'safer'. So good luck!
Your piece of paper from the doctor may not reveal everything you've been exposed to - no one has a test for the yet-to-be discovered STD(s). I remember when VD was curable with penicillin; now there's how many STDs?? Some of them are not curable at all.
Also, your paper is out of date as soon as you're intimate with the next parter. | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/26/2008 1:24:33 PM | | For me, it's not only important, it's MANDATORY. And that means whether I'm in a "committed" relationship or not. Which is why it's very difficult to meet men who are of like mind, particularly attractive men, because, from what Ive witnessed, so many men men are out to carve as many notches on his bedpost he can. On top of that, women are encouraged (and encourage each other) to act the same way. The sluttier the better, it would seem, all in the name of "sexual liberation," mind you. One thing I've learned about trying the "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" approach is that it's not liberating at all. Rather than teaching our daughters to be promiscuous, we should be teaching our sons to have more respect for women. And, more than that, for themselves. The genetically hardwired bunk is but a lame excuse for horndogs to continue in their behavior. | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/26/2008 1:31:53 PM | I would never settle for anything less than monogamy. Personally, I feel it's only in a monogamous relationship that we are challenged to grow spiritually because it is only in such relationships that we really put our guard down.
Imagine comparing human beings to animals. That has never made sense to me. Aren't we supposed to be a bit more evolved than they are?
You know the whole, thinking, feeling, have-a-brain thing?
When I hear someone say it is a man's nature to want more than more woman I just dismiss that as an excuse for a man to be greedy.
No matter what we may desire ultimately we get to choose and anything we do, we do it because we've given ourselves permission, IMO.
I'd say the same goes for women, and even more so as we put ourselves at much more risk when we have multiple partners, emotionally, physically and spiritually. | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/26/2008 2:27:12 PM | To cat woman: Not sure if this is what you are implying, but polygamy is not the same thing as cheating. "Swinging"(we'll just go with the common term) typically involves members and there is a lot of communication about parameters, partners, etc. Most activities are known well in advance, and both have full knowledge and consent of the matter. As i said though....typically. There are people in that lifestyle who don't do that, and even other swingers will say if they don't have the communication or are not honest they should be in the life style at all. I was actually kind of curious about it for a time, but emotionally it doesn't feel right to me. I feel as if doing it would be selfish. That's just my own stigma though. If you can do it and maintain a healthy relationship(and a lot do) then enjoy. What others do behind closed doors is no concern to me.
Cheating on the other hand is different and involves dishonesty. The other person has no knowledge of it and once they find out it can be crushing. Easiest way to crush a person's spirit, and the cruelest. Some people can take a long time to recover from it, and have difficulty trusting others as a result. Yes I'm talking from personal experience. This is the lowest thing IMO you can do to another person in a relationship because of how it can damage their psyche for a long time after. I have zero respect for someone who has cheated on a partner(sorry if you have and have taken offense but I won't hide my feelings about it) and frankly would have difficulties entering a relationship with someone who had in the past.
I have read that %70 of all men in women in the U.S. will be the victim of an unfaithful partner. Ultimately I think it is just the culture we have become. Due to technology(no I don't blame it, I blame ourselves) you don't have to wait for anything. If you want something, look around enough and you can get it and get it fast. Instant gratification. Relationships sadly, have become a victim of this as well. Rather than work for a relationship, many just go out and attempt(keyword there) to fulfill there needs via instant gratification, or cheating. Relationships have become much like other things in our culture: disposable. It's very disturbing. | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/26/2008 2:33:37 PM | Monogamy is incredibly important to me, and to all my friends. They are happily married now, and monogamy is a cornerstone of their relationships, for the men just as much as the women.
So I ask where and when did this become so commonplace. Is it the way our society pushes sexual messages and innuendos in almost every media? You can go almost nowhere nowadays without seeing billboards of barely clad men and women..... Or was it always there and just become more public now that our society is so openly obsessed with sex? I think it was always there to some degree in private. In older times, getting pregnant as a single woman was very problematic, because she couldn't look after the kid and work, at least, not back then, as it just wasn't practical in those times. So women would often wait until after they were married to mess around, and then pass off the offspring of their affairs as their husbands. It happened a lot.
Now, we have contraception, so it's much easier to avoid an unwanted pregnancy. We have abortion, so we can end an unwanted pregnancy. We have a lifestyle that accepts single mothers, so it's much easier to live with the children of unwanted pregnancies.
All this has made it much, much easier to have sex with no consequences.
(Oh and as a side thought I know that humans are supposedly genetically hardwired for multiple partners but we outgrew that need as a species a long time ago and to be honest I've always really hated that excuse) I know plenty of men and women who would regard themselves as hardwired for only one partner at a time, and only long-term partners at that. So the evidence contradicts the theory. Science tells us that if the evidence contradicts the theory, we believe the evidence, and NOT the theory. | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/27/2008 12:10:05 AM |
Rather than teaching our daughters to be promiscuous, we should be teaching our sons to have more respect for women. And, more than that, for themselves. The genetically hardwired bunk is but a lame excuse for horndogs to continue in their behavior.
well said.
and we have to STOP buying slutty clothes for our children. A little girl needs to be a kid, play in the dirt, climb trees, walk a fence, paint a fence, run around, roll down hills, etc. etc.
A little girl does not need skanky underwear. High heels and off the shoulder belly exposing tops for children?! Come on people! Turn off the television and take your kids outside to play tag or catch or something.
I think we all need have (or at least show) more resepect to each other. | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/27/2008 12:19:27 AM | same here, I am also hard-wired as Mono.
I know plenty of men and women who would regard themselves as hardwired for only one partner at a time, and only long-term partners at that.
what happened was in the past anything else than monogamy was strictly forbidden. especially by the Church.
now, as Freedom came in, strict bans are removed, you have a choice.
from that perspective it's great that many couples are still monogamous - despite the freedom of choosing the alternative lifestyles.
that shows that Monogamy is stronger than ever | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/27/2008 12:22:29 AM | yep.....monogamy is the only way I can and ever have flown.......
Unfortunately though... most people have some sort of twisted view as to what 'monogamy' even means anymore. Even those who say they ARE monogamous.
Most single people now THINK they're being monogamous when they date somebody for a month, two or three, and immediately jump into bed with them during that time. The relationship ends, and they immediately get into another scenario just like the last one. over and over again.
So when the end of the years rolls around, they've slept with more people than I personally would care to want to know about. But, hey....they were 'monogamous' during that time....
Here are the facts....
1 in 5 men now has some form of an STD......
the figure now for women is.... 1 in 4.
So what do you think the odds are of people NOT having a disease, who supposedly practice MONOGAMY with eight people during the course of a year ?? This IS how people are conducting their supposed lives of MONOGAMY nowadays. Sad... but true none the less.
It's also amazing to hear people say that they are actually 'monogamous' because they have only ONE 'FB' or FWB at a time.....
Any wonder I don't date anymore?? | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/27/2008 12:32:25 AM | Op - I really am not going to tell someone else what they should or shouldn't do, but for me, I am NOT ok with that open relationship/polyamorous whatever. I am a giving loving girl but not in this area. I have not and never will go into this type of relationship - that is why my last one ended. He wanted it and I didn't - too bad it took nearly four years to for him to figure this out but oh well.
I have talk ed to alot of people who wanted to try the threesome thing to fulfill a fantasy and guess what - their relationship was destroyed. Go figure.
I hear alot of poly people slam others for being closed minded/old fashioned and all sorts of stuff - if that's what it means for me to be monogomous then so be it, what do I care? It's my personal choice and one I won't change for anyone. It's messed up when someone isn't upfront on this regardless of which way they choose. I make it clear upfront so there is no question on my choice, why waste someone elses time?
I really am glad to see so many other's who still value this choice in thier own lives. | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/27/2008 12:54:37 AM | Monogomy depends on where you live, in most states in the USA women are little tramps and depend on the USA govt for money and support and they go **** whom the please, because, especially in Michigan, if they get mad at their boyfriends or husbands becasue it is that time of the month and call the cops, the cops will lie and tell them some bullshit and get them some womens shelter sympathy and throw their husband in jail, when the husband is in jail the cop will come back and **** the girl. That is how it is. The cops in MIchigan are hom wreckers and they use domestic disputes as an avenue for the police to get sex from the alleged abused.
Makes you wonder what is right and wrong anymore doesnt it ? | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/27/2008 1:19:59 AM | Sex feels good, and there is nothing to loose... you would have to be retarded not to do her.
There is nothing to lose? You mean, your life isn't important to you? Ever hear of aids? Hmm... | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/27/2008 1:21:00 AM | I noticed this also and was thinking about this too.
in the older times - people got married, THEN had sex and then had kids, and had a family.
nowadays,
I see a new trend where...
women and men have sex - sometimes called "friends with benefits" only on the basis that they're both goodlooking - meanwhile he doesn't feel like wearing a condom - cause it isn't as enjoyable - then she goes, "oops, I'm pregnant". He then proceeds to dump her and moves onto the next girl. Again, only on the basis that he's good looking. He could be unemployed, doing 54 kinds of drugs and have all sorts of anti-social behaviors. Never mind being a nice guy. He could be an abusive, psychopathic ***hole that beats up on women.
Now, he's long gone - she's stuck with a baby - has it delivered and becomes a single mom. Then the cycle is repeated. She hooks up with a new good looking guy. They exchange pet names and promises. He doesn't feel like wearing a condom. She goes, "oops. I'm pregnant!" He then proceeds to dump her and move on to the next girl.
Never mind getting married anymore.
Alot of single mothers out there. Just look around. They're all over the place. Women just want to get the genes of really good looking tall guys. They dont need the guys to hang around as fathers. As long as their kids are goodlooking, tall, strong and sexy - super model sexy. Whether or not the guy has a relationship with her or is devoted - she doesn't care. Its all the commodity of the quality of his sperm.
Marriage is no longer a valid trend. | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/27/2008 1:29:42 AM | Never apologise for what u believe in. I'm celibate and I'm not getting into a relationship if the man is not on the same level as myself. Which is committed to each other only. In the midst of all of the STD's, with AIDS claiming more lives the world over everyday, its frightening to see the way people are so careless and disrespectful to their bodies and the ones they claim to love. Even married men and women don't care, some of them scheme on each other. We have a sayng here, the singles can't find other single men and women 'cause all of the married men and women are dating them.
Continue ur high standards and I can gurantee u a good man will come along who is like minded, how can I guarantee this? Simple, not every man is a player. Thank God For That!  | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/27/2008 1:37:11 AM | | it's ok OP i feel the same way and im also young,but it is harder to find someone who believes in monogomy,and it is because of the media that is influencing people it makes it look "COOL" to society especially with.... yeah the young generation i agree on that.not only that but some people don't care anymore at all!its sad but....if it's people like you and me and others that still hold on to these values that's more then enough because im quite sure there are many more as you can see,so you just have to keep up your faiths and your hopes and most importantly STAY STRONG! | |
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| Monogomy is it important anymore?
Posted: 7/27/2008 3:03:27 AM | | If you are in a relationship where satifying each other's needs in paramount, and you carry that out, you don't need anyone else. If it is not what is happening, why are you together? | |
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