| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 4/4/2008 5:28:33 PM |
have met up with lots of preconceived crap about how a woman my age should be settled down with a husband and have kids!!!! well, i say it's all in how we want out lives to be, not all women will be mothers, not all men will be fathers! but that does not make us any less human. the times are changing and we should all be allowed to be who we are, not what others expect us to be.
The key to human happiness hasn't changed, only your masters telling you it has via gov't / media. (a long story about profiting from our misery.)
At the end of the day, we need each other, men and women. With the right attitude (something hard to learn in western society) we can make each other very happy / fulfilled. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 4/4/2008 5:56:35 PM | Ugh. I turn 50 this year, have been divorced for probably more than 12 years and, OH MY, have no kids cause I cannot have them.
Now I have never heard anything so absurd as this of being a "failure" before - sounds like something from the puritan times when a woman was declared "barren" and not an "equal opportunity" kinda person you'd want in society in order to perpetuate the species. :(
good grief! | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 4/5/2008 5:26:42 AM | Well I haven't read this thread the whole way through so hope I don't replicate previous posts.
I am on eof those single 40 year old women with no children, I have been married and would have loved to be a mother, but life doesn't always bring what we desire.
I certainly don't feel like a failure, I am succesful, happy, solvent and have a full life.....would it have been better if I had children? No idea, it would certainly have been different.
My experience hasn't been one of being labelled a failure but there have been men who have told me that they feel threatened by my independance and life style, maybe I just need to find a man who knows the difference between desire and need ! | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 4/5/2008 5:52:51 AM | A Woman over 30, never been married and with no kids considered a failure. You gotta be kidding me. Where the hell is she because I'd like to meet her.
I think 25 year olds with 3 kids and who've never been married are failures. Big time failures. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 4/5/2008 6:04:51 AM | I had my first child at 33 - when I had the maturity and selflessness to be a good Mum. Oh and as I ended being a single Mum, when I'd a career, home etc behind me too. (Lone parenthood was not part of the plan!) I'd also the advantage of seeing which parenting methods worked and which didn't from those friends who had had their children much younger, which meant mine wasn't a victim of all those professional "childcare experts". I had the confidence of my own convictions as to how I want him raised. It's not just financial security, emotional security on the part of the parents plays a huge part in making a secure environment for children.
Not romantic to say it but it's a huge reassurance should the worst happen that you won't be relying on the government completely to raise your kid. It takes time to build a home etc. Here in the UK social housing is not always an automatic option as so many have been sold off. The days of getting a flat etc from the government just because you are pregnant are long gone in many areas.
I have no regrets at not having kids younger, if anything it's an advantage as I get the benefit of my friends experiences. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 4/6/2008 8:55:16 PM | | Hello your comment about women over 30 to be failures is definately a misconseption. Your comment is well written. You are only a failure if you allow anyone to tell you so. I am a single 43 yr Young, professional women who unfortunately never put children or the thought of a family first. But I still have hope that very soon that will come into place. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 4/7/2008 12:39:15 AM |
A Woman over 30, never been married and with no kids considered a failure. You gotta be kidding me. Where the hell is she because I'd like to meet her.
I think 25 year olds with 3 kids and who've never been married are failures. Big time failures.
Funny thing about that is I just ran across a woman's profile in which she admits having three different daddies to her four children. All by the age of 25. She also admitted to never being married to any of them, either. Yeah, a real catch. 
I wish there were more dateable women who didn't have kids. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 4/7/2008 7:53:36 AM | I'm proud to be a single 30 something with no kids. I have to say I've travelled, done things most of my friends will never do, and am self-sufficient in my life. Well with that said, failure is how you see failure.
If you believe you have failed in an area in your life, then you set a goal and didn't achieve it. Now I dont see being in a relationship by X age as a realistic goal. My goal is to get out there meet people and let things happen if they are meant to be and in the meantime having a great deal of fun! | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 4/7/2008 4:06:53 PM | The failures are one who put their selfish desires before their children.  The failures aren't the ones who can't have them or won't have them. The failures are the ones who tell their kids they don't want them. If you have any questions about that ask my 10 year old how much of a failure his mother is. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 4/7/2008 5:45:58 PM | This is a joke question, right? I like the way you beg the question with "why" as in, why are all men wife beaters? LOL
Seriously though, I don't ever see people as failures. Anyone who would call someone else a failure, or want them to feel like failures just because they have made different choices than they have, is a person of very poor character.
I see that people are HAPPIEST in life when they do the things they have aspired to do. There is no real timeline for most things, so "over 30" is irrelevant. Now if one of the things a woman wants to do is to birth children, well her timeline is menopause. Even at 38 her chances of problem pregnancy go way up, but it's still doable if you really want the kid that badly. There are even many people with handicapped kids who they love dearly and they don't say they wish they hadn't had their handicapped child, so even if it is a risk it isn't necessarily out of the question to wait however long it takes to find the right spouse before having a child. If the woman doesn't particularly care whether she has kids or not, or knows she doesn't want to have them, then there really are no timelines on anything she has set as a life goal.
I'm a woman over 30 with no kids and I'm so happy. My life is really fantastic and it feels like things are always getting better. I wish everyone could feel this way about their lives. Please folks, live the life YOU want to live and don't concern yourself with the narrow-mindedness of mean, unhappy people who seek to belittle you just to feel bigger themselves. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 4/12/2008 3:54:34 PM | I actually prefer a woman with no kids. I'm not shallow. It's just a preference.
I was married for 8 years and we tried and failed. I wanted one badly at the time. Since that time, I believe I've just passed the point of wanting any. I don't see women over 30 without children as failures. I see them as one of two kinds of people: 1) Can't have any 2) Doesn't want any There's no harm in that. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 4/12/2008 5:53:22 PM | Well, OP, if it's any consolation, men over 30 who have never been married and have no kids are in same boat, considered "weird" and less desireable by many women because of it. Yeah, I guess some bed-hopping, woman-beating, drunk, drugging dirtbag with four kids by three different babymamas and a lengthy arrest record is more appealing and acceptable by society, after all, he has kids and "experience"  (Shrugs).
Hey, whatever floats their boats. Do what's right for you. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 4/17/2008 1:48:32 AM | Im over 30 and I have an 11 year old daughter.... I would never call anyone a failure because they decided they didnt want to get married or have a child regardless of their age.When people walk around judging other people ,its merely because of their own insecurity.It makes them feel better to tear others down because they need to believe others are as unhappy/insecure as they are.We all have our own reasons for the decisions we make in life.As long as a person is happy and fullfilled with the ones they make,who cares what other people think? | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 4/17/2008 4:27:52 AM | Im over 30 and I have an 11 year old daughter.... I would never call anyone a failure because they decided they didnt want to get married or have a child regardless of their age.When people walk around judging other people ,its merely because of their own insecurity.It makes them feel better to tear others down because they need to believe others are as unhappy/insecure as they are.We all have our own reasons for the decisions we make in life.As long as a person is happy and fullfilled with the ones they make,who cares what other people think?
I'm happy and I'm damn sure better off for being 36 and without children. I'm a man who wants them, but only when the time is right and only with the right person. Sorry that I made sure in my younger days to use protection and not get a woman pregnant. But I thought of my future first and foremost and where I wanted to be in life and having children at the time was definitely not going to get me there. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 4/17/2008 6:50:03 AM | I am 34 single an dont have kids . Its not by choice i cant have kids due to medical issue was told gyn only way i cld concieve wld be a miricle . I am looking for a relationship but believe like everything else that has take time an patience an i want start as friends an see if something can grow from that cause i believe your spouse is supose be your best friend . I am not a failure at alls i have acomplished quite a lots in my life . I enjoy being an aunty an spoiling my nieces an nephews . And if god means for me be single for rest my life that is oks it dont make me any less person an they say women who choose remain ssingle caan live a long time i seen it in my family had a great great aunt that lived 115 years old one that lived till she was 97 despite having bad heart that did eventually kill hers .   | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 4/21/2008 3:45:29 AM | | I think I see this thread in a different way than most of the replies. Instead of being considered, judged, or seen as a failure by others you feel, or have the feelings, as though you are a failure due to being somewhat ostracized by friends and family because your life is no longer running parallel to those most important to you. I don't believe anyone came out and said you are a failure. I know that people say they have little in common with friends and relatives as they are all married. Therefore the relationships tend to grow distant and apart as your ability to relate to someone married, starting families, and committing to new paths in life differ from those of someone still single. The distancing and inability to relate tend to engender feelings of failure or inability to match the measures they have imposed on their own life. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 4/23/2008 12:25:42 AM | Unfortunately ignorance is something you can never get away from but I do feel I have a choice whether to pay attention to such people/opinions. If someone indicated that I was a failure because I'm over thirty, single and childless I would probably laugh at them. We all chooses different paths in life, have different experiences and values so and if people have that kind of attitude, their opions wouldn't be worth anything to me.
I have met a lot of wonderful guys over the years and have had several serious long term relationships however unfortunately I haven't met the right one for me. I value all of these experiences but I am also grateful that we never got to the stage where we decided to have kids since none of the relationships actually worked out in the end.
I hope that I one day will meet that special person that I can settle down with and have a family but I don't belive that this would make me a better person and if it doesn't happen then I'm sure I will have a good life anyway, I will make sure of that ;-)
I think it's dangerous to think too much about what the norm is or what other people might think..Remember that they are tons of people that settle down just because they are scared of being on their own and that is really loosing out in my opinion..Nope, not for me anyway ;-)
BTW, judging by this thread it seems like people are settling down much younger in US, here in Ireland the avarage age to have a first child is about 30 for women. | |
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Durken
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Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 349 | |
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