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ozman
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Joined: 6/13/2005
Msg: 30 | |
| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/15/2005 6:39:34 AM | Hi, 47 year old married ( 3 kids ) man here, just wanted to contribute to this forum :) The problem that I have found with unmarried ladies who are over 30 with no kids is that they only can think of themselves. I have a lot of freinds and aquaintances, I only have problems with my sister and sister inlaw, both over 30 with no children. Because they have no kids or do not answer to anyone else they both seem to wander through life aimlessly with no responsibility and no thought for the future. I dont believe that this is something to be jealous of ( the freedom ) because this is what seems to be creating their continual problems.
Im not saying that we all should be married and have kids by the time we are 30 but it really does open your eyes and let you focus on something or some one else rather than yourself. Married people with kids tend to be more accepting and flexible when it come to others ( you have to be, kids demand it ) I am aware that not all lcouples can have children but I really do believe that kids really do put you in a different mindset about love, simpathy, respect, the future and abstenance.... the type that you will forgo things if you have to so that they can have something.
I am expecting to get a few bad responses about my opinion but before you get stuck into me please read carefully what I have written, Its not about condemning or judging, its just about some one else rather than me....... the kids. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/15/2005 11:37:22 AM | | You have a right to your opinion, which you stated. I am 47 and have not been marrried and have no children. I am far from being an irresponsible person. I would have liked to have gotten married and had children, but it just has not happened. When I was about 40, I noticed that men are no longer interested in a woman my age who has not been married. Many people seem to have some sort of ignorant and/or rude ideas as to why people my age have not been married. I usually respond with, guess I am too smart to marry the wrong person and end up divorced, ask them why they are married when they seem to want to hear about my love life are they bored with theirs?, that few men I meet appreciate a short, plump, cute, feisty woman like me, anything to let them know that I refuse to accept most of society's idea that the only women who are attractive are tall, divorced with children, thin, blonde and needy. I dare say that any of these women who men seem to deem so hot do not have half the sex drive that I have. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/15/2005 2:15:43 PM | God, never let anyone tell you your a failure for not having kids!
When I was 29 , my marriage ended and I've spent 13 tears raising 2 kids by myself.Why?
Because , no man I met wanted to deal with 2 little kids at the time.
So, my choice was my kids, of course.My best friend , though , got married and they conciously decided not to have kids.I would never judge her!She's a terrific person whom I been close to for 30 years and,she's always been great with my kids.
Your choice is yours,and you sound like a great person, so NEVER let anyone tell you otherwise. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/17/2005 4:16:08 PM | LOL Sorry ozman, cannot respond, laughing too hard...
OK, seriously though, I have never met one over-30 childless woman, man, or couple who "wanders aimlessly" simply because they don't have a child. The idea that because we do not have a partner or a child that we are selfish and think only of ourselves is hilarious. Guess what...we have families we love, we have aging parents we provide care for, we have nieces and nephews we treasure and might I add, we babysit anytime the parents want to "get away", we have friends we cherish, we are always the shoulder for anyone to cry on, all that and we usually have quite a substantial pension fund to boot!
Being childless doesn't make you selfish, nor will having a child make a "selfish" person suddenly become a saint. Those kinds of qualities come from within.
I think it's great that you love your kids, but perhaps you might want be a little more open-minded about those who do not choose to or are not able to live exactly the same way you do. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/19/2005 8:05:54 PM | Instead of saying "Lucky, I guess", I've said "By the Grace of God"! That one really gets them.
With divorces as plentiful as fleas on a dog's back, who in their right mind would risk their property in the first place? Most of my relatives my age are on their second and third marriages. If only I had all the lawyer fees they've paid! Marriage appears to be nothing but a web spun by a divorce attorney to collect folk's money!
NO thanks, I choose single. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/19/2005 9:46:03 PM | women over 30 with no kids are a blessing, not a curse. I honestly think you may be projecting your minds insecurities onto what you "perceive" others to be thinking about you along with what tang said in his response.
Screw those folks who don't know a good thing when they see one. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/20/2005 2:21:01 AM | Ok first off I think your putting to much stock in few peoples idea of a stereo type. Everybody the year is 2005. People now days think career first family life second. For me it was fun, career, more fun. Anyways a good career now days takes 4 - 8 years of college. guess what that puts ya pretty close to 30. I am 37 and would like a woman between 28 and 40. It is a lot easier to relate to women of that age. My friend is the same age and he has the same philosophy, and were from po-dunk MT. I am sure there are many more examples out there. Oh and by the way he is a single parent.
Now why were on the kid thing. If your looking for a woman between 30 and 40 it is a deffinate posiblity there might be a kid involved. She has known the kid a lot longer than you so expect that she trust the kid more than you. I am just trying to say it is a package deal, so learn to deal with it, or spend a lot of time single. Your choice. Why does this happen? Well not everyone plans to have kids, but practicing can be so much fun! oops! Plus have you seen the devorce rate in this country?
Anyways if he doesn't want you because your over 30 you don't need him. Don't let it get ya down, and keep looking.
Austa | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/20/2005 8:21:55 AM | Ok before you eat me alive, my bad, I got off topic.
1) Who say's your a failure?
2) Do you believe them?
There are many ways to be successful in life. The main way is do things that you want to do and makes you feel like you are a success. The second thing is to stop giving a hoot about what other people believe is successful for you. It is your life, might as well live it. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/21/2005 3:10:10 PM | | I prefer to date a woman without kids. It's not that I dont like kids but I dont want to add to there problems. I could care less if mom and I dont make things work out. I just dont want the kids to get attached to me than I am gone. I did that once and it hurt me hurting the girls by not being there. Young kids cant understand things like that. Maybe that is why I tend to date women older than me. They either have no children or there children are pretty much on there own. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/21/2005 8:35:45 PM | Haven't read a single post...not even the first one..don't need to...as the British would say...
Being half..I'm entitled...NONSENSE AND POPPYCOCK!
You are who you are...period...life's success isn't measured by a yard stick...it's measured by how you feel with yourself...love yourself..the world will too...(don't always keep the faith but)
It's a..do as i say..not as i do. The only time you fail is when you don't try in my book!
You are great and don't let anyone get you down telling you otherwise...
Thats 10 cents worth ...keep the change....oh i like this song!! | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/21/2005 11:36:44 PM | | We live in a consumer driven society. Profit maximization drives the machine that dictiates our programming. It is in the best interest of corporations from Mattell to Ford to program postitive traditional family values to ensure future profits and creating a mentality of "you must have this to be validated" this permeates society to sickening proportions. I find it incredible in the vast spectrum of human sexuality from a-sexual to bi to homo to hetro to god only knows that the only form of validation that we recieve is by getting married and having children. I think that things will slowly change in regard to couples choosing not to have children as we become more accepting of other lifestyles by way of same sex marriage. (I did say slowly) It breaks my heart to see people having children just to validate their own lives only to destroy the lives of their children in teaching them how to love in the way that they learned to love only to replicate incomplete people. | |
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Searon
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Joined: 1/10/2005
Msg: 44 | |
| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/22/2005 1:59:48 AM | | I think it is like everything else in life. People JUDGE and that is what they do. The question is how much stock do you put into other peoples opinions? Personally I feel there are many advantages in a women over 30 started to be a mother. Financially, emotionally and spiritually I feel she has a stronger foundation to be a better mother and wife/companion. A post earlier mentioned we are going to be here on average till 80 years old, 30 is just a drop in the bucket. Be happy with it, I guarantee you others don't worry about it half as much. | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 45 | |
| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/25/2005 2:42:44 PM | Ouch!
I'm 49 years young, divorced and have no kids. I never had a desire for children and I found out in 1981 that I couldn't have them.
I laugh when people say that childfree people are self centered. I don't think that's the case, there are different priorities that each of us have. My brother made a comment to me one time "you're always taking trips, buying nice furniture, why can't you think of anybody but yourself"? Pray tell, how can I think of anyone else when I am not married or have children. He sure doesn't complain when I remember his child's birthday and Christmas.
I am a professional in an Aerospace Company, I own my own home, and also am saving up for retirement. I pay my taxes on time, I hardly call the irresponsible. I work hard, therefore, I play hard!
On the other hand, when I do date men with grown children, some of them out there are looking for a future wife to help pay for the college education and the future weddings of their children. I'd call that selfish, if a woman is willing to do that, it's fine, but to expect it is a whole other story when they aren't her children.
Unfortunately, there's too many people that bring children into the world when they shouldn't. I'd say that's irresponsible and downright selfish. Children are a gift and should be treated as such. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/25/2005 3:41:07 PM | Well where the hell does that put me?>
i am 44 & no kids (thank god! I have seen the crap my sibs have to deal with)
I guess you could put me in the . LUCKY DEPT!
tO HELL WITH ALL THAT SOCIAL CRAP!
I made the choice not have have kids at age 18! I took care of that at 34!
As for marrige? well lets just say , I am up for it but dont live for looking for it!
I am no Failure either! That is just crap! | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/25/2005 7:49:09 PM | I'd love to know who these childless women over 30 are supposed to be thinking about, if not themselves?? Many of us didn't have kids for that very reason... not wanting to have to worry about anyone else. Sure we probably worry about friends and family, but we're not directly responsible for them.
I'd also love to know why so many breeders think childless women are irresponsible, too? What is it, you spawn so you think you've got the market cornered on being responsible? | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/26/2005 12:55:47 AM | Hey - devinebovine....
Its people like us that actually make good parents because we are so afraid of messing up!
I was convinced when I found out my wife was pregnant that I would be a lousy dad...but my son said something to me the other day about being the "best dad he knew"...brought tears to my eyes. (I hated that, then. I need to be more private when I cry)
A woman a failure due to not being married with a family?
NOT!
Ross | |
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