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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 7/21/2009 12:38:01 AM | Often they realize they never had a chance to live THEIR life and thus in turn divorace and ruin the child they so "love." Bah. What hooey you spill.
So true! They also give a bad name to the many parents who do biologically have their own children and are wonderful, loving parents who don't inadvertently blame their marriage &/or children for their own lives not being lived. I understand that, especially in my parents' day and age, there were actual palpable societal and familial pressures to marry and have children by a certain age. As a result, many women (and men) realized later in their life that they neglected their own hopes and dreams. But things have changed since then, and at least in the US, there are very few unavoidable pressures to do either of these things. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 7/21/2009 4:46:35 PM | I don't feel like a failure at all.
Society tells me that I should have married, had kids, and the white picket fence.
Screw society. I know what's best for me. I'm a free spirit, I love children, but knew at a young age I didn't want to own one. I didn't get married because well... I saw no reason to.
I'm 39 now, I see my friends married, and with children, and hey.. that works for them. Not for me though. I love adventure in my life, adventure that a husband and children would make difficult/impossible to be able to do.
I don't consider myself a failure. I consider myself free.  | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 7/22/2009 3:43:53 PM | I'm so glad I found this!! I so know that feeling as in the midwest I've run across it more times than I'd like to recount...people divorced with kids are fine, but let yourself be unmarried at 30 and watch out at the responses you get from people. I really personally don't feel the need to "own" one either.
I so love having the freedom to do what I want, when I want...sometimes I wish there were a companion, but other times I'm fine with being single. Now with the exact right guy, I might consider marriage, but still think kids are probably not for me. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 7/26/2009 6:24:40 PM | actually your question presupposes and answer.
Better question would be "Are women over 30 a failure if they are single and childless?"
Or even better "What kind of idiot would think a person that waited to get married and have children is a failure"
the entire question is a bit silly, really it is. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 7/27/2009 9:38:08 AM | | Anyone can marry(and half of them divorce!) and have kids(and end up a single parent!). It's harder to ignore society's traditions and peer pressure (all your friends get tied down) and go your own path. Be proud and ignore the people who are jealous of your freedom. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 7/28/2009 3:30:14 PM | Trust me, I know that I am perceived as having something wrong with me, because I never been married, nor have any kids. Actually, I would think that should be refreshing for a man to meet a woman, who is independent and can come and go as she pleases lol
I've always known that I never wanted kids, and I was never in a big rush to get married (although, I was engaged once a long time ago-thankfully, that fell through lol) like some of my friends have done. I've always had long-term relationships, and have been comfortable with that type of setting.
I've been told that I would change my mind about not having kids to having them. Sorry, but if I didn't want them in my 20 years, there is no way in hell I am changing my mind now that I am 40 lol I will admit to be selfish with my time. But, at least I am honest ;) | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 7/28/2009 3:38:50 PM | | you should focus on your life...you can not make anybody else happy...if you want to have kids...then you will...unfortunately society has expectetations and if individuals do not meet...there are questions...just live your life and please yourself | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 7/28/2009 7:58:27 PM | I had misses, I would have had 6 kids right now and grandkids, had some very selfish men I loved....I still would like to think I could adopt some day. ...I gave all the love for a child to my animals....I dove into art, music, jobs, my other careers........
I love kids. would have been a good mom.....Have babysat, lived in nannied, even helped a homeless girl and let her move in with my family and was her "mother" for a few months and treated her as a daughter who was loved...... 
One of the reasons I am divorced, he did not want to be a responsible adult or father. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 7/29/2009 5:31:04 AM | Too many people get caught up with being like everyone else and comparing themselves to everyone else. Damn sheep. All I know is if I had married any of my ex's I'd be miserable or divorced at this point. Yea thats what I always wanted. I guess I was fotunate in that I didnt grow up in a family where the most important thing you were going to do in life was to get married and procreate. I feel quite fortunate in that respect that I dont have to hear that crap all the time. My mom always thought that should be secondary to finding my path in life that brought me a fulfillment.
I don't care what anyone else thinks of where I'm at in life. Who are they to label me a failure? I probably wont get married until after I'm 35 at this point and you know what I'm fine with. Whats the hurry especially since I dont even know if I want kids. When I was younger there was no question that I wanted to have my own children. But now that I'm older and more aware of myself I know I'm pretty selfish at this point. My dog who I love dearly takes enough of my time. I told my friend this and she says "You are young. You SHOULD have kids!" What so just because I'm the right age I should just have them just because I can? Thats pathetic. I hate society and all its ridiculous ideas. Have you noticed how a lot of the ideas that society follows are just pure crap and most people who blindly follow them because it was the thing to do end up miserable? Perfect example is the housing crisis. Tons of people bought homes because the banks let them and god forbid you didnt get into an overpriced house like all your friends. Yea that worked out great didnt it? Thanks again Wall Street.
Its not a one size fits all world. We know ourselves better than anyone else and should never have to defend our big life decisions to anyone. | |
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gigi32
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Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 566 | |
| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 8/11/2009 12:30:41 PM | | I have a child. I had him when I was 25 and all of my friends are either married or in long term committed live with their man relationships. My best friend and I are fighting right now because she thinks I want to ditch her and those friends for friends my age who are single and dating. Why don't your married friends get it? It's not about ****ing about men it's about having people who understand you and aren't always complaining about their spouse or bragging about their spouse and what he did. So women our age are not failures because we don't have spouses or children we should be proud. I love my kid and I love my singlehood I just want a friend to understand where I come from instead of always saying he's right around the corner blah blah blah. | |
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gigi32
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Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 567 | |
| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 8/11/2009 12:34:54 PM | | I do. Sometimes I wish I didn't have my son, although I do love him incredibly and life wouldn't be the same without him, but sometimes being able to run free & not worry about school and sports and what I have to pay for next and how to explain why his father doesn't want to know him. I can relate. Sometimes I wish I were single & childless. Sometimes I wish I were married and had more kids. It's an up and down cycle. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 8/11/2009 1:01:48 PM |
Why are men over 30 failures if they are unemployed/still living at home?
Good point some double standards there maybe? Going by television or movies guys over 30 are all supposed to be wealthy no matter what, a slave to the grind, while sacrificing their happiness and the pursuit of their real dreams. If a guy doesn't perfectly fit into some mold formed by what's considered "normal" in society he's not considered relationship material. I rebel of course. If I'm happy with what I do for a living throughout my life and I don't make enough money to please some broad, she can go after some jerk that will end up cheating on her a few years from now. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 8/11/2009 1:13:05 PM | Maybe certain groups of people, in certain areas or cultures would see an unmarried/childless woman over 30 as a failure?
For example, where I grew up, in an isolated, rural place, it would be VERY unusual, and in fact most women over 30 would be likely to be getting on their first divorce by now. Also, there are lots of cultures around the world where that kind of woman would be pitied, or worse, for sure, or it just wouldn't happen.
But in larger centres in western countries, I would hope this is not too big a deal these days?
I don't feel like a failure at all. I really like my life, but I'm well aware some people I know disaprove of my way of life or even feel sorry for me.
The only time I ever feel weird about it, is when I see all the emotional support, practical everyday help, and financial benefits my married friends have by having someone there all the time. It seems to me that their lives are easier than mine in many ways.
But then I just remind myself that they can't pick up and move wherever they feel like going, as I so often do, or many of the other day to day things I'm free to do because I don't have to worry about children. Everybody has to find the situation that's right for them. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 8/11/2009 1:46:44 PM | | The only failures are when people assume someone fails for reasons why they believe they should be categorized as a failure. I'm over 30 & no kids, but I am not a failure. I own a business, work in IT, own my first home that I built, and am independent. If that's what a failure is, then I am pretty good at it LOL. :) | |
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