| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/26/2005 6:14:34 AM | I don't agree with you on the thesis: "WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?"
I wish there were more single women over 30 that would probably make my life a lot easier in finding someone that is right for me..... Most people i've met (in real life) for my age are either married or already years in a relationship...
So i wish there were more single women in their 30's... And I for one don't consider it a failure at all... It proves to me that a woman is self sufficient instead of a failure... :) Hope i used the right term there.. LOL | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/26/2005 11:39:38 AM | i really wish you alot of luck with finding someone. My problem i men dont want to go out with me because i do have a kid, do get me wrong, my son is the most important thing in my life and if men can't understand that then they aren't worth it I did date someone who wanted me to drop my son for him. Well as you can tell, he lost that fight. I sometimes feel like a failure not because of my son but because, I am 35, single again and can't seem to find someone that is interested so good luck and please don't feel like a failure, my moms best friend never had any children and she is almost 50 now and she was the sweetest person you could have ever met.
Good Luck | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/26/2005 1:55:26 PM | I think that when women get blasted in some way for being over 30, single without children, it's by other women mostly. I have never heard a guy say anything like that about a woman, but I have heard alot of women say some pretty crazy things about a single, childless, over 30 woman. I really don't think it's supposed to be mean, but some people just cannot understand that everyone else in the world doesn't have to have the same mindset when it comes to marriage and kids.
I can say this for sure. My single buds and I would claw over each other to find a over 30 single woman without kids. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/26/2005 4:52:08 PM | If you look at rusys4evergirl's profile, you'll see that she does not WANT children. Whereas that is her choice it means that any man who DOES want children will automatically not be interested in her. And many men who DON'T want children are likely to prefer an older woman who CAN'T.
What is unspoken here is what might happen if she accidentally gets pregnant with a man who enters a relationship with her expecting not to have children. What's going to stop her from turning around and deciding to have the baby after all? Likely if HE entered the relationship expecting no children then he is going to feel betrayed and leave--oh well--another broken home and a child support case. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/26/2005 6:52:58 PM | | As a man over 30, my experience is that women in this category are the most desirable. Why? Because, like many men, I would prefer a woman who does not have children yet, but is close enough to my age to have lots in common. As well, there is A LOT of evidence in the fields of psychology and biology that men are wired to prefer partners that have not reproduced with another man. Instictively, we all feel that way, even though many men deny it. So hey, if you're a single woman in her 30's that isn't attached and doesn't have children, there ARE a lot of guys like me kicking around. It's all how you choose to look at it. You're only a failure if you think you're a failure. To me, you might be the most desirable woman on earth, and I can't wait to meet you. | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 57 | |
| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/26/2005 7:45:53 PM | Nomonhan
Good point, if Rusy should get pregnant. However, there are no guarantees in life.
On my profile, I have I do not want kids. The amusing thing is I get emails from guys in their 40's and 50's with little kids. I have even thought about adding in my profile "you must be done raising your children", but that would scare potential suitors off as well. I'm open to dating a man with grown kids, but would much prefer finding a man without kids.
However, that is like finding a needle in a haystack! | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/27/2005 9:11:49 AM | | oh my god,,,,bs .....i had my kids at 18 19 AND TWENTY I WAS WRONG FOR THAT EVERYONE THOUGHT,,,LIVE YUR LIFE THE WAY YOU CHOOSE PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT REASONS FOR NOT WANTING TO HAVE KIDS,,NOTHING WORSE THAN HAVING ONE TO PACIFY EVERYONE ELSE..MY PERSONAL OPINION YOU ARE A BIGGER PERSON THAN HALF THE ONES THAT HAVE KIDS,,,,COZ IT TAKES A SPECIAL PERSON TO KNOPW WHAT THEY WANT AND NOT WANT ACCORDING TO THEMSELF NOT EVERYONE ELSES STANDARDS | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/27/2005 9:27:39 AM | Yea, what she said!!! I see so many people with kids that should have NEVER had them. They just looked at it like it was expected of them or well, thats what everone does. I think making a conscious decision to hold off till later in life or to choose not to have them at all is your decision and knowone elses business.
I think married people just want everybody else to be married too so you can be as miserable as they are. LOL | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/27/2005 9:45:58 AM |
I think that when women get blasted in some way for being over 30, single without children, it's by other women mostly. I have never heard a guy say anything like that about a woman, but I have heard alot of women say some pretty crazy things about a single, childless, over 30 woman.
Exactly.
Give some women a few kids and they think they know everything. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/27/2005 9:52:54 PM | | first i think we have to define failure! some one put it well when they said ones failure is anothers goal...but the only way to fail is to qiut so it depends on what a woman ovber 30s goals were did she achieve those and did she make new ones...life is a series of short races and u never fail while you run | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/27/2005 9:58:27 PM | Here is some good lyrics from a Jimmy Buffet album. This is from "License to Chill" and it's him with Martina McBride. Hey it's all just another trip around the sun. No need to sweat the small stuff people.
Hear 'em singing Happy Birthday
Better think about the wish I made
This year gone by ain't been a piece of cake
Every day's a revolution
Pull it together and it comes undone
Just one more candle and a trip around the sun
Chorus:
I'm just hanging on while this old world keeps spinning
And it's good to know it's out of my control
If there's one thing that I've learned from all this living
Is that it wouldn't change a thing if I let go
No, you never see it coming
Always wind up wondering where it went
Only time will tell if it was time well spent
It's another revelation
Celebrating what I should have done
With these souvenirs of my trip around the sun
(Chorus)
Yes, I'll make a resolution
Then I'll never make another one
Just enjoy this ride on my trip around the sun
Just enjoy this ride ...
Until it's done | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/28/2005 1:52:44 AM | being over 30 and single definitly doesnt spell failure, and childless to boot, , i guess its all in whos the judge, and i cant remember a dam thing in any lesson book, or history book that states that there is an age in which you have to be married, if there is or was, i flunked big time and i have a college degree,  | |
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ozman
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Joined: 6/13/2005
Msg: 65 | |
| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/28/2005 4:59:55 AM | Wow, a lot of comments from a diverse crowd, don't you just love the internet ? I think that you are all right with all of your comments. I never meant to judge or slander anybody here, I just commented on what I have come across in my own life. Of course we all have the right to persue and live our lives as we choose. I do get annoyed though when people here have a go at marriage etc, I can only say that maybe they have the wrong idea of what its all about, this commitment thing.
As for bringing up kids with a preconceived way of thinking, not possible, they all do there own thing in the end. What we do like to instill in our kids is fairness, honesty, love, commitment and positive thinking. Who knows, our kids might grow up to be gay ,single or childless, but the same instilled theology applies. Our aims are to open our kids eyes to the real world, for better and for worse, to give them the skills to adapt and choose for themselves the right or wrong things in life.
Ready for another hiding lol | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/28/2005 6:22:31 AM | Women over 30 without kids are far from a failure. My mom started her family at 35, that was 35 years ago. My sister and I are lucky she was old enough to know what she wanted, and as a result, we both had a very good and stable family life.
Those women smart enough to know what they want and take their time getting there are to be applauded.
Myself, I am looking for a women over 30 who has no kids. It just seems to be really hard to find someone who is compatible and wants kids. Most of the over 30 women I know don't want children. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/28/2005 2:51:05 PM | What's funny to me is that the 'married' people that look down on us 'over 30/never married/childless' people, are the very group of people that have a 75% divorce rate in this country...SO, HOW happy is married life REALLY, hmmmm?
Personally, I have NEVER felt inadequate for being over 30 with no marriage or kids, as a matter of fact, I am very happy I did not settle for that life only to find myself miserable like the MANY people I know that are married....I think times are really changing and that many of us (men AND women) are choosing to wait until much later in age to get married and have kids...I would rather be emotionally mature, financially stable, with adequate life experience and therefor ready to start a family than to have done it too soon and to now be looking back at it and regretting it or feeling like a failure because it did not work out in the end! | |
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| What are the chances of finding a relationship that lasts?
Posted: 6/29/2005 4:40:47 PM | I love it when people quote divorse rates. The figures are always really high, and rearely the same! So I did some resrearch and found out that the statistics are a little different, and definitely not as simple as people portray.
It turns out that the rate is very different when you measure the number of divorces as compared to the number of people. In Canada & the USA, 71.3% of first-time marriages succeed. In otherwords, if you have never been married, nor has your new spouse ever been married, there is a 71.3% chance that you will stay married until both of you are dead. So for anyone who hasn't been married before, the statistics are actually in your favor!
Where the real problem comes is when one or both people have been divorsed before. When one partner has been divorsed but the other has not, 51.3% of marriages succeed. The odds are still in your favor. When both partners have been divorsed ONCE, the odds of succcess drop to around 38%, typically. It goes on from there, but is seems the more times you've been divorsed, the more likely you are to get divorsed. It seems that people who have been divorsed 8 or more times have less than a .03% chance of succeeding.
So where does this high failure rate come from that evryone hears about? It comes from measuring the number of marriages that end in divorse. Do the math: If only 38.7% of first time marriages end in divorse, then the statistics are really revealing that people who get divorsed once are simply more likely to get divorsed a second, third, fourth, etc. time.
I say, stop fearing divorse, and focus on the fact that the odds of succeeding are pretty good.  | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/29/2005 6:21:54 PM | I generally date under my age, but I find it a rare (a good) find to meet a "30-something" without kids. I don't feel they are failure at all. Plenty of women having kids out there.. the human race is in *no* danger of dying out from lack of procreation.
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ozman
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Joined: 6/13/2005
Msg: 72 | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/30/2005 2:30:09 AM | Rusty4evergirl they are not a failure. Why should some one bring up a child in a loveless relationship. I think it is a right descision and a success. I rather he or she be single instead of having the child that is going back and forth between homes. Or growing up in a loveless relationship. You need to find the right person before having a child. And sometimes that means not having a child, for the better of the child. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/30/2005 7:18:32 AM | Hey, bbq, no one should take offense because you are just saying how you feel. Yes, I have been there myself. It's not always a walk in the park doing what we do. There's times it can be hell on wheels. Those rewards "they" talk about that makes it all worth it, "they" forget that we are usually so damn exhausted, we dont' have the energy to enjoy them. Maybe I should say I instead of we. I dunno. What I do know is sometimes I just want to sit back with a cold drink and think of me once in a while, just like you said. That doesn't make me selfish or regretful of my life, that just means I am tired. Ya know? I seen my sister in law go away for a weekend to a spa and everyone here says wow, she so needs a break. Really? From what? My brother and her are damn near millionaires and have everything a person thinks they want need and desire. Worked all their life to make sure they got it. And now she needs a break from it? Hmmm. Interesting. I need a break from the pressures of trying to do the job of two parents and not quite feeling like I am getting it done. Give me a chance to refuel and feel human again. Then I can keep on giving my little family what they need. I dunno, feel like I am getting up on that damn soapbox and once I get ranting, I don't always want to stop. *LOL* Better take my leave now.
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