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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 10/1/2005 11:03:18 AM | Hey girl... I'm very sorry for whatever happened when you were married that caused you to be unable to have children. It sounds like you're stronger from the experience. And if you ever decided you truly wanted to raise a child there are lots and lots of wonderful children in need of a good home.
You're right... be who you are, not what someone else or even society in general tries to dictate for you. You sound like a strong, amazing person... go with that!  | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 10/3/2005 9:56:03 PM | OMGosh Ozman..........I am a 38 year old woman..never married...no kids...ONLY THINK OF MYSELF....you have to be kidding.....that must be just YOUR family...because I AM NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL........ i have 9 wonderful children...They are not mine but are my sisters kids and I treat them like they were my own...I take them places, feed them, dress them, change them, bath them, nurture them, read to them, disipline them, love them, adore them, i don't think i would have it any other way...but you see....I am a different kind of person....I think about others before I think about myself....Maybe that is why i am not married...someday I might...no one knows for sure what the future holds. You also talked about Responsiblity??
You don't know my life...........accepting??flexable?? I'm all that and more........
But the thing is Ozman.....i can come and go as i please....don't have to answer to anyone....When i don't feel like being with the kids...I don't....can you say that?? Not likey. you know FREE TIME....guess you don't know about that either. Sorry Ozman to be so down on you  | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/24/2007 3:43:37 PM | I think failure is in the eye of the beholder. I'm single, never married and childless but consider that a huge accomplishment in today's instant gratification world.
I was once engaged to a divorced man with children but opted out of the relationship because of trust issues. That doesn't make me a failure, it just means I think before I act.
I've been able to accomplish a lot in my life, and when I finally meet my partner I can honestly say I'm ready for family life. (With or without children) I have and continue to experience all aspects of life, and look at friends who are now grandparents (at 35 for goodness sake!) and celebrate that I don't have their set of worries.
Be as judgmental as you like. I'm happy, healthy and wiser for my experiences and will make a complete partner for someone eventually. No worries.  | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/24/2007 4:22:55 PM | I've been in the same boat, opposite end of the spectrum. I was college educated, and set to go to med school, and put that off to get married and start a family. I had my first child at 22, and have receieved much flack for giving up my original career plan. I eventually went into education, and fell fulfilled being a mother and a teacher, and have little regrets about not being a doctor. I think it's such bull that anyone can believe there's a right or wrong way to be a woman. As long as you are happy and fulfilled, then that's all that matters. And remember us single Moms when you can get out the door to work or whatnot in ample time without Cheerios stuck to your briefcase! LOL | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/24/2007 4:34:10 PM | "WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?"
If this is due to ones own decisions, based solely upon their individual wants and/or desires, then clearly, they are not a failure. This because they appear to be doing exactly, or at least a close approximation of, what they want to do. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/24/2007 5:31:48 PM |
I have met up with lots of preconceived crap about how a woman my age should be settled down with a husband and have kids!!!! well, i say it's all in how we want out lives to be, not all women will be mothers, not all men will be fathers! but that does not make us any less human. the times are changing and we should all be allowed to be who we are, not what others expect us to be. It's because the older a woman gets, the lower her chances of successful delivery. That makes her less desirable to men. It's science. And if that's not good enough, ask your grandmother. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/24/2007 6:11:31 PM | Less desireable to men? All men do not want children, especially if they are paying out the wazoo for ones from another relationship or marriage, and if a woman is 40 or older I doubt that they would have children anyway... It doesn't matter if men do not want children at some point in their lives, older women with a lower likelihood of delivering viable offspring are still less desirable. Those men you describe aren't looking for desirable women, they are looking for barren women so that they won't pay for the additional child support that you mentioned. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/24/2007 11:46:26 PM | | I cant have kids because Im a 20 year cancer survivor so I will have to adopt or end up with a man that has kids. I want kids yes but just have to do it in a different way. I see nothing wrong with that at all.......Im 39 and I get tired of people putting me in a box because I don't have any children.In alot of peoples eyes I am a non human being...It gets tiring at times.. I had no choice in having or not having kids.. I am not a failure at all and I am glad I am alive.... I just hate it when people make snap judgements about things like that... | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/25/2007 9:23:58 AM | | "they are looking for barren women"..Excuse me but have you ever heard of adoption?..The ability to give birth is not the sole criteria for becoming a parent here...Many orphan and abused children need to be adopted by loving couples....A mom or dad is someone who parents a child, not whether or not they gave birth or "sired" them...A woman isnt a brood mare at an auction site who loses her "desirability" once she turns 35 and her eggs are older....Ive always wanted children but never had the opportunity to have them.....I will adopt if I meet the right guy....The men Ive been with in the past havent been able to step up to the plate....And I wouldnt get pregnant with the wrong guy just so I can give birth...To me, that is what is a failure here | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/25/2007 11:48:01 AM | | Whereas I am not biased towards women who want to or have kinds, I do normally prefer women who are over 30 and do not want to have kids. As long as they do not "all of the sudden" "change their minds" after you have been in a rel for some time and tell you "when are we going to have a child"? To your question "but you had said you did not want one", the reply was "I meant with anyone, but I love you so much I want to have a child with you". Things like this can really screw up a man's mind and heart/soul. Now I know, "run Forrest, run"!!! I am not joking, alas! | |
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Mia828
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Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 115 | |
| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/25/2007 2:42:17 PM | Thank rusys4evergirl I've have been battling that stigma within some of my own family members...Aunts cousins...nosey freaking people. I just smile now and remind them I can travel anywhere in the world and not have to worry about finding a baby sitter and I have nice things. Unlike them.
If I don't have children by my "scary" age then it's not the end of the world. It was just not part of my destiny and I'm not going to have children for the sake of just having them. I'm just going to enjoy my life as each day as it comes.
That's my two cents.  | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/25/2007 5:44:53 PM | Guess that makes me a failure. LOL!!! NOT!
I decided at a very young age not to have children. Told mom when 12 to wait for sister. At 25 had the "factory" closed. Have been married but find prefer the free/single life. Not having to answer to anyone but myself.
Sure, I have a neice and nephew so get the toy store visits etc. Being a big kid myself usually get them something I'd love to play with. Nonsexual of course. LOL!!!
SWF | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/25/2007 8:23:45 PM | | The reality is that a 30 year old woman who is single and childless may very well be happy and fulfilled, despite the perceptions of those who discriminate. I would say it is better to be 30+ and happy than 30+ and unhappy or with regrets. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/25/2007 10:08:15 PM |
I have met up with lots of preconceived crap about how a woman my age should be settled down with a husband and have kids!!!! well, i say it's all in how we want out lives to be, not all women will be mothers, not all men will be fathers! but that does not make us any less human. the times are changing and we should all be allowed to be who we are, not what others expect us to be.
In all honesty, forget those outdated notions. There are tons of people who do not see a single childless 30something woman as a failure. There are plenty of guys even who would love to meet a 30something woman who doesn't have kids.
"Failed" women in the eyes of guys are the ones who are in their 30s and have nothing to show for themselves in life. They are the women who spent their 20s partying and not building a future, and they are basically burned out, possibly knocked up by some jerk, and now trying to find a meal ticket. I'm not talking about women who married in their 20s and it didn't work out, but more the ones who just lived day to day and now are in a mess by their 30s.
Single, childless, educated professional women who take care of themselves...those are considered "VERY HOT" in most mens' eyes. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/26/2007 11:23:29 AM | | In all honesty I never thought that a woman over 30 without kids and not married was a failure...seems to me she just know what she wants and doesnt want to settle for anything less than what she wants in life.....maybe she only wants to have kids after she's married, and married to the right one as well.....maybe she wants to establish a career in whatever field of work she has strived to do.....some woman don't want to be a sit at home woman...some have high goals in life and will achieve them even if it means having kids and marriage at a later time in life..... | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/26/2007 1:20:33 PM | I'm in my 30's and made the decision a long time ago not to have children. I was the oldest of three girls and spent a good deal of my teenage years raising them. I've served my time
I don't recall meeting anyone who condemned me for not having kids and not wanting them. In fact quite the opposite. I've had people (mother's included) applaud me for taking the time to really think about it and what it meant.
Not to say it isn't an issue. I'm at an age where a lot of men either have younger children from a previous relationship or want to have kids (or at least think they do) so there isn't a point in persuing a relationship with them. But I like to think of it as a very easy way to narrow down the list and focus on what I and a potential partner do want. | |
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/26/2007 2:46:18 PM | I TOTALLY AGREE! I was married but didnt have kids because I didnt feel it was right with her! And now I'm on a road that involves myself and hopefully someone else, I dont want kids, I'd rather have the relationship between and her and have fun doing it!
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| WHY ARE WOMEN OVER 30 A FAILURE WHEN THEY ARE SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?
Posted: 6/27/2007 3:54:51 PM | Are you kidding me? I know lots of women who don't consider themselves a failure myself included. Why bring another child into this crazy world. Women like myself are self sufficient, happy, emotionally and financially stable and are fulfillled. Contrary to belief we don't need a man or child to make us complete. All of u out there who thinks otherwise wake up and smell the coffee. I pity the suburbanites who have lost their zest for life and living because they are encumbered with God forbid a husband and kids. lol.   : | |
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