| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/24/2008 2:59:03 PM | | i had the same thing done to me an it is hard im not goin to lie it was done to me not so long ago it still pains me wen i see hem now but i just look the other way now iv moved on an iv let my hair down an im out there living life as it comes im with some one els now an iv moved in with hem an sometime wen im asleep ill call out my ex name sometimes i cry but still im happy now coz wot me an my ex had wasnt good im not goin to lie an say its all good coz it wasnt he beat me give me black eyes an evethink but iv moved on got a new guy an me an hem is sweet an im even having hes baby but i havnt told hem yet im goin to tell hem on hes b.day witch is in 3 days he will be over the moon so babe let your hair down an get out there your still young xxxx bye an good luck xxxxxxxxxxxx | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:36:08 PM | | When you get tired of suffering, you'll let it go. I don't remember the exact quote but there's a saying that for every 10 minutes you spend angry, you have 10 less minutes to be happy. Substitute sad or any other negative emotion. Usually when we experience pain we are resisting change. No matter how sad you are, it isn't going to change your situation. Focus on where you are now and it loses it's power. I think that's why a new relationship suddenly makes the last one disappear. Hope you're learning to let go. | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/25/2008 4:02:15 PM | | Ms.Elkerose is right,prove to him that it was his loss,improve yourself ,be more beautiful,be sexier,look younger,healthier ,do some shopping or maybe get busier.just do something that will make you feel better,inside and out.beleieve me things will change.you have to love yourself.so others will start loving you.you will feel like a winner.reflect on this. | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/25/2008 4:25:02 PM | | I've been asking this question to myself all day long. My relationship ended three months ago and I'm still struggling. Yet because of circumstances we stayed living together for a month and a half after the break up which was my choice. A bad one I realize and now come to find out he's moved on and is trying to get involved with someone else. It hurts but for me I can't seem to let go. I call him, email and even see him. Starting to realize though that none of this is helping. We all fall down and all we can do is brush ourselves off and try to do better next time. I'm trying to focus on me and what I need to improve myself. I working on losing weight, getting in better shape etc. I'm also in school which starts again in september. Letting go of the one you had dreamed to spend a lifetime with is hard. I'm just trying to make myself realize that my ex isn't a catch. That I deserve a lot better. It's not working but I'm sure am trying. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Just know your not alone in this | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/25/2008 4:39:16 PM | | I feel your pain sweetie... I am there right now.. myself.... the difference is that I am a lot older than you and have gone through this before... and the pain is a little lighter now, because of past experiences..... There is an old saying.... If you love something set it free.... if it does not come back, it is because it never was truly yours. I have a lot of men friends. (just friends, nothing else) and they have always told me that sometimes a guy is very pressured and needs a break,, then when he sees all the BS out there... he begins to think about what he lost.... I am not telling you to wait, I am telling you to come to terms and let it be.... Maybe he will realize that you do not know what you have... until you lose it... or maybe he won't... in either case.... BE STRONG.. live your life true to yourself, take care of you and most of all LOVE YOURSELF FIRST. If it is meant to be, he will come back, if not, maybe there is someone better in your future.... think about that... give yourself time to heal... The best of luck to you!!!! | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/25/2008 4:44:26 PM | Cindy is right........
Do for yourself, some good things, work on your personal balance with nature and the universe, and all will align as meant to be.
Remember that the best revenge, if you believe in revenge, is to be the best you can be, look good, think positive, and always treat others the way you so want to be treated. It will happen......
Know one other thing about breaking up and being hurt......that time is your friend, and the more time that passes, the more your heart will heal, your head clear and you will think much more in a positive way.............That and some good drinks, a great body wanting yours and make up sex.......  
Just my opinion........   | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/25/2008 4:54:28 PM | JUST WANT TO SAY ONE THING, DO NOT USE YOUR BIPOLAR AT AN ILLNESS. AS LONG AS YOU TAKE YOUR MEDS YOU WILL DO THE RIGHT THING. IT IS WHEN PEOPLE LIKE TO USE THEIR BI POLAR AS A CRUCH THAT CAUSES PROBLEMS FOR THE REST OF US, WHO HAVE LEARNED TO WORK OUT OUR PROBLEMS WITH THE MEDS AND MOVE FORWARD. SO IF YOU WANT TO USE THIS AS TO WHY YOU CAN NOT MOVE FORWARD YOU NEED TO CHANGE MEDS AND TELL YOUR DR.
THE MAN DID NOT LOVE YOU, IT HAPPENS, HELL IT HAPPEN TO ME. | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/25/2008 5:11:44 PM | I hate to say it but time.
Been there felt that. It took time honest.
When I look back it really started to get better when I just began doing things for myself, exercise, call old friends, do things around my place that I had been putting off. Certain things happened to also seal the deal on 'ok I feel better', but in general it was time and talking to those I trusted that would let me babble rather than continually condemn what had brought me to that point.
My Ex is still my ex, but now my friend again. I remind him subtly and sometimes not so subtly in hopes he wont repeat the same things he was so disappointed in doing or saying or reacting as he had with myself and his past relationships. And yes, he does the same for me, but we appreciate the openness and that friendship we so missed when we were together.
Cry if you have to, yell if it feels better, laugh at the most inappropriate times cause it is funny even if just to you and smile, even if it hurts.
Soon, you will remember to remember you. The person you may have forgotten for awhile. She is still there, waiting to be found again. | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/25/2008 5:32:37 PM | Everyone has there own remedy for fixing a broken heart but you know which one works the best for this young lady????
The one where she decides how long it will take to grieve this broken romance.
She has hurdles some of us can't imagine
if you can afford it seek a relationship therapist if not find all those good girlfriends you have put on the back shelf and form that village
I will say this to the OP . You are young and you'll go on . There are good times to be had | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/25/2008 6:02:49 PM | | Here is how you do it. You dig deep. You find the person you are, and then you keep the line moving. From what you are saying about your condition, take med's. Try not to go off the deep end. That will turn a guy off everytime, and make him run for cover. Learn to fight in a more proactive way, not from impluse. Once you learn to control that, you have control. In this case, move on. You sound fun, your pretty, and you have alot to offer. Trust me, I'm sure you have already had people contact you from this web site. Use it and enjoy it. Just don't don't play games and hurt anyone. | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/25/2008 6:03:04 PM | Your story really hit home as I am in the same postition, obviously different circumstances but roughly the same feelings are going on. I find it extremely difficult to let go, its hard knowing that when thats it that nothing will ever be the same between you again and that hes moving on and you may not even see him again. Ive split from my ex about 3 months ago, because of a past relationship i would get close, it took me 10 months to say them three words how fcukd up is that? but i thought he understood. When i finally told him a few months later he told me it wasnt working and we were over, like you it crushed me when he said he didnt love me, i begged (never a good thing!), i cried, i chased, i deleted his number and tried to deal with it, found it again and kept asking him to meet me. With him being at university 120 miles away made it even more difficult because nothing could get sorted.
He finally has came home for summer and i thought we were sorting things (after alot of persuation!!!) things were fab, he got distant and then asked to meet me and told me am not what he wants in life. Baring in mind for 10 months prior to me telling him i loved him he did everything for me, he would of climbed mountains and walked thousands of miles to be with me. Tried being friends didnt work and its only just been the past week where i cant take feeling like this anymore and ive had to sit down and think its his loss!!!!! Just like it is for your ex sweetheart. Yes its so damn hard but cut contact- its the only way ull ever get over it. You think id have learnt from my relationship before him but nope its still difficult knowing he wants to live his life- without me in it.
Keep your chin up and give your heart time to heal and trust me it will heal in time
All the best
Claire xxx
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/25/2008 10:05:42 PM | | It's been my experience that time doesn't heal emotional wounds, it just covers them up. Sooner or later you'll move on honey but don't rush it is my advice. Feel the pain, don't try to run away from it. | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/26/2008 12:22:04 AM | | Just be kind and gentle with yourself. Break ups are hard for anyone whether you are bipolar or not. Don't dwell too much on your illness. Since you know your condition, it is easier to be hard on yourself and blame it all on dysfunctional psyche. I don't have much of the experience with this so I may not be the best adviser. Simply, love yourself and let it go, one day at the time. Sun will come out again on your sky. Everything passes, and this one will, too. | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/26/2008 1:00:45 AM | I was dumped a short time ago just after spending the weekend with her at here home. that sunday night she said it was over. Period no reasons nothing.. I feel for you. I find that the only thing that helps me keep my mind off of MY ONE is to keep really busy.
Even if you have to do things alone, just let your mind settle on others things... and of course type away, get a blog and write it out like I do. It helps a ton to see it in print.
Good luck and feel free to message me i you need someone to chat with .
Rick still and all night long | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/26/2008 1:25:31 AM | | Just keep putting one foot in font of the other. Time is the only cure for grief and it will get easier, I promise. One day at a time xx | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/26/2008 3:57:13 AM | Hi, I know what you are going through. It has been about a month since I broke up with my ex and . We had been together about 2 and a half years. He loves to sail and had a small sail boat. He kept telling me he wanted to get a bigger boat so I finally agreed to get the boat for him and he promised to return the money as soon as his investment matured at age 70. I know we are older but we still love. I trusted this man and loved him dearly. Well, he tells me he is going to get his money. He was 70 in June and guess what, still no money. Not one red penny. He informed me he was going to another state to sign paperwork for the money when he left me the last time and promised to call me every night. I was suspicious when he left so I drove by his house and sure enough his car was in the driveway. My heart is broken and my money is gone. I spend a lot of time crying and can not sleep at night. I am talking to my doctor and placed on an antidepressant, also to my minister. I am trying to get through this by talking to family and friends. I know how it hurts. I sleep about 4 hours a night. But one thing I have been told is that I am a loving person and lovable also. We are not talking and it is over, but love is not like a radio, you can not just turn it off when you want to. My heart is broken but I have been througsh worse things like the loss of my beloved husband who put me on a pedestal. Believe in yourself and I promise it will get better as it will for me. He is the loser, not you. This man that I have broken up with was a bum, and very manipulating. Every time we had a fight it was always my fault, Every time. I should have seen this coming a long time ago.
God bless you sweetie. If you would like to chat you can e-mail me at this address. | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/26/2008 4:03:08 AM | | time heels all wounds everyday you wake up it gets better.do not rush into another relationship take the time to heal it sucks i know i have been there just do not hide a lot of tears will be shed this is the healing prosess it sucks soon you will learn to hate him and move on none of us want to but it happens need a freind i am hear | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/26/2008 4:47:40 AM | I understand some of what your dealing with, I'm not bi polar but have a friend who is, I also was dumped to, to a medical condition. I'm 39 dropped dead 2 times in 1 day, and came home from hospital to being kicked out of my house with clothes in a trash bag infront of my truck, and all my money taken out of our account.
So to me it souls like he cant understand your condition and can't handle it.
See i come to understand people, they look at the shell of a person, and faults first, People cant get past faults and see the good in someone heart, and soul.
Does not matter what your Condition is. It matters your trying to control it so it dont control you. You keep giving it 100% and get your health in check and one day you know you have found someone special, you wont know it on day 1 or 1000, but one day, it will hit you and when it does all this is just a learning block for you.
But als remember Not men or women but both can be heartless
Your in my prays and life for today, and if you dont like how ya dr just drops meds on ya, change dr and keep changing til your happy with them. | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/26/2008 7:25:22 AM | | Thank you to all the people who have given really good advice and the prayers, I truly appreciate it. I am starting day therapy as soon as I get the call from the hospital, there is a bit of a waiting list. As for the poster who said I am using being bipolar as an excuse for not being able to let go.....well there are 2 kinds of bipolar. If you do any research you will see that we struggle with change whether it is a good one or a bad one, we second guess every little thing that happens, we have a hard time making decisions. Just because I take meds, this does not all go away, hence the need for day therapy. Everyone's condition is different snd I don't even feel that I should have to explain myself. All the people with productive advice, I thank, and I am going to try very hard to do those things. Day by day right now is how I get by, forcing myself to go out instead of sitting by the phone . thank you everyone | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/26/2008 11:23:51 AM | | I agree that time heals all wounds. One day you will meet someone else and he will be a past memory. I would work, keep up with friends, watch favorite movies, read good books...basically anything that gets me focused on other things. I would even try to volunteer somewhere to make you realize there are peopel truly suffering and that there are worse things out there that people deal with than some guy walking out of their life. Forget him and focus on you. | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/26/2008 12:44:54 PM | Sorry to say but when a man says that he does not love you then i know from experience that it is over.
Hard as it may be but get a new hair do new outfit and go out there girl as like they say there are plenty more fish in the sea!!
In time you will realise he was not really the guy for you ..
I wish you well. | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/26/2008 1:01:41 PM | I am so sorry.
I am just going through the same thing after 2 years of on, off, on, off, him living with another woman. Best thing for me, he ended up living with me for 3 weeks. It was great! We go along, did things together, which is something we never did before.
After he left, I made sure any thing of his was out of my house. I had his car towed to the other womans house. Wrote her a letter on the back of a hotel reciept I had kept for I didn't know why at the time, maybe a reminder. Any how, I sent it to her, and let her know exactly what had transpired the entire time they were seeing each other. I gave her dates, times, instances, so it couldn't be disputed. I know that God hasen't given up on me. He doesn't plan on me being alone for the rest of my life. He just had to throw some bad ones in my path, so that when I find the right one, I'll know.
Hang in there. I truly know how hard it is. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer. He listens!
Take one day at a time. Make yourself do the things you two used to do together, either by yourself, or with family or friends to make new memories.
I am so sorry you have to go through this, because I know how desolate I feel.
Hang in there. Talk to the big man up above. He does listen. This I have learned. | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/28/2008 9:20:30 PM | well i found out tonight what many of you expected...he has a new girlfriend...found out the hard way:( He didnt have the balls to tell me, I found out through someone else. It is his brother's ex...sigh.....what a kick in the chest. So now I know there is no turning back. I feel like a fool thinking he loved me and being able to date someone and tell her he loves her after 2 weeks ...so everyone is telling me I am better off. I just need to grieve this loss and take it hour by hour. I felt good, I feel like I took a few steps back in the process tonight since I spent most of the night crying my heart out, but I have to stay strong. | |
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/28/2008 9:38:27 PM | How do you let go ?
I have been trying to figure that out ... Its different for everyone and I keep hoping for a switch ...
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| How do you let go?
Posted: 7/28/2008 9:50:58 PM | You don't give a lot of information about the fights, other than they were like others do. Obviously, your relationship was going well for about a year, but ultimately, you two were not right for each other. Some good things did happen, though it's hard for you to see.
You say you were going to a fertility specialist; I assume then that you had no children from this relationship. So that becomes a good thing now that you aren't together. You also have definite closure, in that he has said that he no longer loves you, and that you should move on. As difficult as this is to hear, it is definitive, and allows you the knowledge that you CAN move on. And this is what you need to do.
One of the hardest things to do is to let go; and you know you have to. I'm surprised that you added "don't judge" to the fact that you're bipolar. It's not something that you should feel is a fault; it's a mental illness, and one that is most likely contributing to your grief.
You should consider getting your medication altered during this time; if this continues, counseling would be a great idea. You said there was some improvement in your outlook for the last few day, but that the latest conversation with him crushed you. I would recommend that you don't talk with him at this stage. Accept the fact that it's over, allow yourself to grieve; and then take steps to rebuild your future with a better suited mate. But not too soon; learn to be comfortable with yourself, alone, before you allow any0ne else in your life.
This is something that has happened to everyone; multiple times to me. You will survive this, and be stronger for it. Good luck...and be happier! | |
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