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| | The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not. Page 4 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) |
**The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
**They don't have to get up and go to work every morning ... you do.
**They are free to travel and just have fun ... you're tied to your work.
The retired one should get up as early as you do, cooks breakfast for both of you, lets you be happy all day during your working. If the retried one travels around and just has fun himself, why do you want him? | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 11/21/2009 7:11:04 AM |
I find that retired men expect you to be free to come and go.
And, so they should. As a retired woman, I want a man who is free to come and go, too. So, I don't think it's "just men" who are seeking this kind of situation.
Afterall, some people who are now retired from "the daily grind", may want to exercise their freedom to go places and do things. And, are looking for someone compatible to
" come and go" with.
This is what would be best for me. | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 11/21/2009 7:27:48 AM | Perhaps it's like everything else between two people: depends on the people, lol! If either is rigid, and requires full time care, likely not to work. If both are able to entertain themselves, enjoy each other's company and have interests and goals which mesh, then likely it would work, eh?
The best situation of my life has been after I retired, but he had not. He was an actor, and absolutely *loved* what he did and had no intention of evah retiring. I need a good bit of alone time, so I got it, and was ready, willing and able to companion him when he arrived home. I'm also relatively flexible, so the ever changing schedule and krezzy work hours never flummoxed me. While a play was on, we often had dinner at one or two in the morning, talked till dawn, slept till noon, and had breakfast at three, lol! I'd pack him a lunch, and he'd leave for work at five or six. Between plays, schedule was more "normal," and during rehearsals, it could be either way, depending on how close to opening they were. Still, it worked very well -- *for us.*
So I think with love, and compatible personalities, sure, it can be a deal. A very good one indeed.
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 11/21/2009 10:42:38 AM |
The best situation of my life has been after I retired, but he had not. He was an actor, and absolutely *loved* what he did and had no intention of evah retiring. I need a good bit of alone time, so I got it, and was ready, willing and able to companion him when he arrived home.
I also need a lot alone time as well. I also have show cats that need to be groomed on a daily basis..
A neighbor of mine that has been married for 40 plus years is all of the sudden experiencing her husband's retirement. She told me the other day it is driving her completely crazy that he is underfoot all the time. I often wondered about a long long marriage and the change in dynamics when both partners all of the sudden find themselves retired.
thecatsmeoww | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 11/21/2009 12:05:19 PM | | Why is it that you want to make the decision for the man(retired). Dont you think if he finds you a drag on his lifestyle he would have thrown you back into the pond with the other fishies. Instead of worring why not just enjoy the time that you are granted, relatonships dont have some mathematical formula that gaurantees it to be a LTR. Do you want to give up someone who cares about you because he has put in the years required to be retired. | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 11/21/2009 1:31:17 PM | | I have tried to date my fair share of retired men. It has always ended up the same. They figure that because they need more to do and can't think of what, they should phone me at work (often multiple times a day) and chat with me to kill time. They also didn't respect that while I own my own business, that I need and want time to run that business. I found it easier to just say no to a date with a retired man. I totally enjoy working. I would relate better to someone who does also. Different personalities find different partners appealing. | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 11/21/2009 2:03:11 PM |
Why is it that you want to make the decision for the man(retired). Dont you think if he finds you a drag on his lifestyle he would have thrown you back into the pond with the other fishies. Instead of worring why not just enjoy the time that you are granted, relatonships dont have some mathematical formula that gaurantees it to be a LTR. Do you want to give up someone who cares about you because he has put in the years required to be retired.
Not sure if you are talking about my neighbor here or not. However she is not about to throw away 40 plus years of marriage. They are joined at the hip. I suggested to her that perhaps she should consider an outside hobby or get him interested in one.
Otherwise I am about to smell her cooking fumes 24/7 here
thecatsmeoww | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 11/21/2009 2:31:31 PM | This situation did come up for me, with a lady that I had one "meet" with. It was a long-distance online friendship, and she eventually wanted to meet, and did make the trip half-way across the country....as I was on her way to another get-together with old friends.
I'm the one who is retired. She is still working at a good job.
Location? I would never have expected her to give up a job to relocate. if it came to that, I'd be the one to relocate. I'd also be the one looking for a job...full or part-time, in my new location.
She had written about her desire to quit her high-stress job, and start a small business of her own. That would have been perfect, if things had worked out, for both of us...but they didn't.
Yes, it can be a problem. A very good female friend of mine works as a bartender....so her weekends are her work time. Monday and Tuesday used to be her weekends. We'd occasionally get together for a ride....she is also a Harley rider. Then she took a part-time job on Monday and Tuesday...so, no more riding.
So, here I am, with so much free time, a totally flexible schedule, but still can't get it together with anyone.
So, yes, it can be a problem. | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 11/22/2009 3:18:43 PM | | I don't date retired men. I have my own business, love it and like to work. A retired man is in a different head space and life stage. I don't plan to retire- my work is my passion. If a man retired, it suggests that his work wasn't his passion. I want somebody who can relate to what i do, who wants to hear about my work. And I want to hear about his. Having him tell me about his golf game or his hobbies would only bore me. If we both love business, we'd have much more to talk about and more in common. | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 11/22/2009 6:55:39 PM | | Wow! You are my kind of guy. I am more interested in how happy my guy is with his life and his work than if he's retired or not. People who retire and don't have a plan to live seem to die sooner than necessary. So, if he's retired, does he do volunteer work, have a hobby he is actively engaged in, or working to start that small business he always dreamed of? Does he look forward to every day as if it were a gift? And if I'm teaching while he's at home, will he meet me at the door with a hot kiss and an iced tea? I'll work around his schedule as long as he is willing to work around mine until I do retire. He better stay in shape, though. I intend to enjoy his company a long, long time after we are both retired! | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 11/22/2009 9:59:01 PM | depends on the person and where you both live. i recently met a man who was preparing to retire, move to a town with retirees, yada yada. that would not appeal to me. i like a mix of ages and professions, including those retired. most of the retired/disabled people i know do the most they can for their community. in my instance my kids are between 19-22 and although not home, they demand some of my attention.
personally i would not be the one to travel all over the world in my retirement. but, some will and some will only want companions to accompany them. my ex travelled with a camera between his face and where we were going all the time. his social skills were "nil". while in scotland visiting his family and touring the countryside, i had "enough" of his frantic racing around. i walked into a field of cows and refused to come out. we stayed in the highlands another nite as a result of my passive resistance!
i travel minimally lately, but did a lot when i worked. i like to get into an area, get to know the people, feel the countryside or if a big city--find the nearest jazz and dance venues. i can only take so many pictures w/o any human interaction. likewise, in my community, i do the best i can socially and if my spouse were working, we'd just coordinate our schedules. this is a vacation area, so surrounded by jazz and dancing w/o having to travel!
if, on the other hand, i met a self -declared couch potato with no social responsiblity, we would probably not be the best match---working or not working! | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 11/22/2009 11:16:38 PM |
I know guys, but here it is: male cleans house, runs errands, waters the flowers, feeds animals, preps car for the drive, pays the bills ( with both their incomes put together obviously), arranges for whomever/whatever to take care of animals/watch house/pickup newspaper/mail, etc., yes cooks for her or picks up take-out so when she arrives home from her long day can just relax and eat, talk together of the upcoming plans/vacation, be excited/happy/self-assured because everything is in place, has been taken care of. What is wrong with this picture? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!!
WOW! Do they make men like that????? | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 11/23/2009 2:20:34 AM | When I met my late husband, I was working full-time and he was retired. We had a wonderful relationship. He'd take all our laundry (including linens) to the laundromat and had them wash, fold and iron everything so I wouldn't have to worry about getting it done. He kept the house immaculate and I did most of the cooking, except for when he'd grill, which he really enjoyed. Trips were taken when I was able to get time off from work.
In my current relationship, my S/O works and plans to continue working for quite a few more years. I'm on Social Security due to health problems. It isn't a problem for either of us. We want our lives to blend together and we'll make whatever adjustments are necessary to insure that we are both happy and content.
A successful relationship consists of compromising and communicating. Just because one is retired doesn't change that fact. If someone wants to constantly be on the go, traveling the globe or gallivanting around, I can see where a partner that is tied down to a job or career could cause difficulties in the relationship, and vice versa. Personally, I would rather take few trips and be with a partner I love than travel far and wide alone. But that's just me. | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 11/23/2009 5:42:49 AM |
I don't date retired men. I have my own business, love it and like to work. A retired man is in a different head space and life stage. I don't plan to retire- my work is my passion. If a man retired, it suggests that his work wasn't his passion. I want somebody who can relate to what i do, who wants to hear about my work. And I want to hear about his. Having him tell me about his golf game or his hobbies would only bore me. If we both love business, we'd have much more to talk about and more in common.
Not all of us retired guys are of that mind set. I retired after 30 years of teaching because the state offered a limited-time window...full retirement at 30 years. I would have been foolish to stay another five years to the normal full-retirement time, since my last year was also the last year of a contract, and a strike was eminent the next year. I took a year to re-furbish an old house that has been in my family (my great- grandfather built it as a chicken coop in 1937) and still live there.
After teaching, I worked full-time for seven years for a Harley-Davidson dealership, in parts and accessories. When the dealership needed to cut staff two years ago or so, I voluntarily "retired" again, because there were young guys in the department that needed that job more than I did.
I don't play golf...I spend most of my time working for Veterans and Troops support, and POW-MIA awareness. I just finished a term as president of one organization, and still hold an office with that group, and I am a state coordinator for another, similiar organization. It's like having a full-time job, except for the paycheck, which is $zero.
In fact, it costs me money, because it's all volunteer. So, I couldn't afford golf, even if I liked the game, and my "travel" consists mostly of motorcycle escorts for returning Troops, or the funerals of those fallen.
This is all just to clarify...and explain that even though retired, we are not all just sitting around in a chaise lounge sipping iced tea, or hopping all around the world. I consider my current "job" to be my passion, and did, even when I was working full-time. | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 11/23/2009 5:55:43 AM | So many people out there think that retired people sit around all day doing nothing. Me, I continue to wonder how I ever had time in life to hold down a job. I realized when I retired that working people are completely unaware of all the things they just don't do because they have to get to work. For those that want to work until they drop because they love their work, more power to you. You are paying taxes to provide me with the services I need and for that I thank you. The fact that you would not date me is of no concern at all, as you would not be available anyway, you being at the office and all.
I always think of a line from a movie that went: "Nobody on their death bed says 'I wish I had spent more time at the office!'" | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 11/23/2009 7:25:06 AM |
ya,, they do ! We live alone, and Like It
Actually, I suspect that most of the guys like that are married to women who have a pretty good idea of what they have and work hard to hang on to him.....
But there are quite a few of us out there on the market as well. Of course, we are a bit picky, knowing as we do our own market appeal... | |
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| The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not.
Posted: 11/24/2009 6:50:56 PM |
I know guys, but here it is: male cleans house, runs errands, waters the flowers, feeds animals, preps car for the drive, pays the bills ( with both their incomes put together obviously), arranges for whomever/whatever to take care of animals/watch house/pickup newspaper/mail, etc., yes cooks for her or picks up take-out so when she arrives home from her long day can just relax and eat, talk together of the upcoming plans/vacation, be excited/happy/self-assured because everything is in place, has been taken care of. What is wrong with this picture? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!!
WOW! Do they make men like that?????
Yes! Yes they do! And I gots me one of ‘em! And I’m VERY much aware of his appeal.
My BF is retired, I still work full time and it works out extremely well for us. He has lots of things to keep himself occupied so he’s never bored, but he’s also available whenever I am so that we can travel or work on projects around the house together. And we only have one “schedule” that we have to work around. He’s also only 2 ½ years older than I am, so he’s still very young!  | |
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