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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/29/2008 10:44:19 AM | | Have no idea if yours will look that perky REDLOTUS but hers obviously didn't if she saw the need to pump them full of silicone. Nasty. She looks so fake she might be a man. OP, cleavage doesn't make you a slut but you will be percieved by such by a large segmant of society, perhaps the majority. If that doesn't bother you, that's fine. You will certainly get attention. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/29/2008 11:26:48 AM | If 2 adults enjoy sex together, go for it. It is a great stress reliever and good exercise. People that ain't getting any will be the ones calling them sluts  . We are adults and know what we are getting into before we start. If someone has been married to someone and they have sex everyday. Should they be sluts. No, they would be a happy couple. So, why not be a happy couple without the ring.  | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/29/2008 11:44:37 AM | | You go girl! I agree....flirting and being confident...rock on with that!....you set the level of flirting...for there is a difference in flirting and seducing a man....would you agree? | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/29/2008 2:18:34 PM | | the amount of men that contact me and tell me that they thought i'd be an easy score cause of the way i talk is funny. if it were a guy talking like that it would be ok, but being a woman, i can't be openly sexual but still be a "good" girl>? | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/29/2008 2:31:23 PM | ^I'm somewhat guarded about sexual discourse in public due to my profession. Privately is another matter all together- I believe that we should be open to discussing many, many things that aren't generally talked about. Given the taboo nature of the subject though, it isn't THAT surprising that people are judged based on what they say.
Also-- I find that the so-called "double standard" that men can be open without being judged is inaccurate at best. There are many men who look down on slutty behavior in other men. (So many people say it is more acceptable for men to sleep around than women--- I don't know many women who don't judge equally, and I know of very few of the old "boys will be boys" kind of men that I would like to associate with.) And often male sexual discourse is nothing more than shallow, bullshit posturing. You know -- "I totally banged her!" "We went all night!" the kind of talk that says nothing, communicates nothing, and is generally unhelpful.
The internet is a little different because it allows for a dropping of the standard defenses and posturing, but many people also see this as "public" and are careful about what they say because of it. | |
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capkip
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Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 58 | |
| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/29/2008 2:40:33 PM | | i can only speak for myself/we in america are very involved in attribution error/attributing our thoughts and feelings to others/we are in now in the 21st century and some among us would prefer to maintain victorian morals /if a slut is a person who has a sensual,sexual nature/then sign me up im a slut/curt | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/29/2008 9:39:33 PM | | Aren't double standards a trip? Guys want a woman who is hot in bed, knows all the tricks, can suck start a Harley, loves anal sex, will tie them up, or be tied up, who'll talk dirty to them, is capable of multiple orgasms, and loves the taste of semen; but she can't have had more than 2-3 sexual partners. What's wrong with this picture? | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/29/2008 9:49:10 PM | | No being open about sexuality doesn't make you a slut....However, if there isn't one single pictue on your profile that doesn't have your assets in it then you might be a slut. If the description about you sounds like something out of a porno mag then you might be a slut. If your headliner or screenname is over the top then you might be a slut. If in the first email to someone you mention your favorite sexual acts then you might be a slut. In conclusion, if you have more than one of the preceding situations in your arsenal, then you ARE a slut...you just don't want to admit it | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/29/2008 10:53:14 PM | I like sluts, and I love sex. As long as youre honest about your intentions, your past then what two adult agree to engage in is their business,
I hope to meet someone I can have fun with,, and then more fun,, and finally at one point we say to ourselves hey, this is fun, lets make it legal.
BOOM youre in a LTR.
what others call us,, or think of us means nothing if we're happy | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/30/2008 6:51:14 AM | [/I just checked your pictures I think you need to show more cleavage ]
It is strange that on a dating site full of adults, the fact that you talk openly about sexual issues makes some men think you are a slut.
And that woman, SensualCougar, is gorgeous. So what if she is pumped up with silicone-I'm sure she is leading a very happy and fulfilled life. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/30/2008 8:55:50 AM | I think we all really know the difference between a woman who is open minded, with strong feelings and opinons on sexuality, feels great about her body and shows a little skin and a woman who is advertising the "goods" because she may have low self esteem and thinks this is what it takes to get attention... For women who may judge these women, there is usually a bit of jealousy involved and if not, why not just minnd your business?
As for men who do not know the difference, you need to grow up and get your head out of your crotch... If you are thinking as a woman or man reading this that you have some right to judge a woman who may reveal too much, I ask the following.... Who appointed you to set the bar on any one elses values or morals? It sure wasn't God because the last time I checked our morality, values and even faith is between each individual and thier God... | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/30/2008 9:28:57 AM | Slut, like all words, is just a word. the word itself is harmless. A word cannot be degrading, disrespectful. It is a word. The context and the intent behind the word is what gives it it's edge.
Now, to address this issue...
I think the negative conotation to the word 'slut' needs to be removed. The very simple definition of it means a promiscuous woman. I really don't find that to be a negative or positive, that's just how the person is. Trashy or not, that's a different angle, and I believe needs to be ignored.
Sex is a drive motivated by the lizard brain of all human beings. most all human beings have a sex drive of some degree, and everyone has experienced lust at some point in their sexual maturation. I find it interesting that human beings would condemn such a natural drive.
Whether a woman is 'prude' or 'promiscuous' is the woman's decision- her right - to be the person she is. The constitution states blatantly: "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness" (for all you fellow Americans). if a woman's pursuit of happiness is to be extremely selective and intimate with a very select few, it is her right and should be respected.
Conversely, if a woman's pursuit of happiness entails the enjoyment of sex, of varying degrees from varying partners, it's her right as well, and should also be respected. One can make the argument of STDs, but as all pleasures in life, there will always be risks.
The application of 'morality' to sex acts between two consenting adults which harms no-one, needs to be removed. It's silly. This also entails, homosexual activity as well. It's immature and crass. It's also arrogant to place one's standards of sexuality above someone else's.
In conclusion: It's only logical we allow women to do with their vaginas as they see fit(hopefully, one day, a woman will want to do me with their vagina!) | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/30/2008 10:01:59 AM | | There seems to be a double standard . When men is open sexually or discusses sex , its cool , but if a woman is open about sex or discusses sex , it makes her a slut or easy . I have a healthy attitude about sex and like talking about it , but it doesn't mean I am gonna drop the panties for every man who comes along . | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/30/2008 10:06:26 AM | ^ Again--- men don't generally DISCUSS sex. They brag, they posture... but discuss? Not so much.
And even the bragging and posturing is generally thought of as immature after a certain age. You're like "Dude, grow up..."
Sexual discourse doesn't happen mostly because people are afraid to make themselves vulnerable in public by breaking a taboo. (Though if you're into this, I recommend reading "The History of Sexuality" by Foucault. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/30/2008 10:11:43 AM | Opinions.....everybody's got one.
As long as I'm happy with who I am, and what I'm doing, I don't care what the rest of the world thinks.
For those who don't like the fact that there are sexually active, open minded women out here, don't read the sex forums. Simple solution, don't ya think? | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/30/2008 10:15:24 AM | | ^^ yup, and the most annoying thing in the world, is the douchebag in the locker room after a workout, struting around with nothing but a towel around his middruff, strutting off his six-pack and rattling off to his friends about the pornstar quality sex he's been getting from six different woman over the past 2 weeks. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/30/2008 10:17:16 AM |  Right on john. There is only one thing wrong with this john. If you were on 8 mile rd. and girls are standing on a street corner giving blowjobs for $20.00. What would you call them. Hmmmm. I don't like to use the word slut, but sometimes if the shoe fits. I had jobs were women would blow there foremens at lunch time. What are they. Just hungry i guess  So this word (SLUT) can be looked at many ways. When i got married my first time ages ago. We had sex 4 or 5 times a week any place anytime. She wasn't a slut. We were a happy couple in love. If i would see her with another guy now not doing anything. I think i would use that word (slut). That would be a little out of context, but never the less it would pop up in my head.  Oh by the way. If a woman sleeps around with alot of guys they call her a slut. If a guy sleeps around with alot of women he is a stud. So it's not fair to the women of the world to get that rap.......sorry ladies. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/30/2008 10:45:14 AM | The only thing that makes you a slut is actually being a slut. Showing cleavage does not mean you will sleep with someone. However, if the image you create of yourself, either in your profile or as you walk around in life, is inconsistent with the results you say you want, they you need to rethink the image you are creating. If you are consistently getting results that are not what you want, then it's time to change the message you're putting out. Guys cannot be faulted if a woman is putting out mixed messages.
There's no harm with flirting, no harm with talking openly, and no one should assume that it means I'm going to sleep with them. However, if I dress provocatively, flirt, and talk about sex with a guy, I should not be surprised or offended if he comes on to me. If I don't want that kind of attention, there are ways I can behave that make it clear and discourage it. | |
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