| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/2/2008 8:53:31 AM | harliegal. I am a very sexual person and very open about sex, which does not make me a slut ,and you are so right about men having a little more class.
BUT, I do have to say I have only had one bad email from a man on here. Most of the men on here are very classy.
YAHHHH POF guys
Denise | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/2/2008 3:12:59 PM | El Mariachi,
Are you saying I may be a "slut"? I cherish the thought sweety. Thank you so much.
Kaylie,
You're the bomb princess. I could love you all over, and up and down.
Romeo | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/2/2008 3:46:25 PM | (quote) with all due respect bigadventure i disagree. i think that there is a standard for how "good" girls conduct themselves vs. how less scrupulous girls conduct themselves. obviously i don't think that a woman should go around wearing all black and a bur'qa the way i do. this simply isn't appropriate for most women in our society, and understandably so. i do believe however that there are certain standards of decency that women should uphold. i'm not saying that every woman who sexualized herself by flashing cleavage and being blatantly sexual with men is a wh@@e, but i definitely think that it sends men a bad signal. even if she is not a wh@@e, this is one of those ,matters where if it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck........you know where i'm going with this. men looking to settle down will not settle down most times with a woman who behaves this way. on the other hand, men who want a cheap roll in the sack and nothing more will target these kind of women. ladies get back what they send out. the femenist movement has taught women in this country that loose behavior is a way for women to empower and express themeselves and the tragic thing is that so many women have bought into this. girls don't need to behave like women of ill repute to get a man's attention, unless they're looking for the wrong kind of attention
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Women call other women sluts more than men do.While I appreciate the beliefs of HRH queen B above and indeed they are good ones, I do not agree with all of them. I am open minded and have no problem discussing sexual matters.I don't know what being blatantly sexual means , I would only be so with someone I was deeply interested in.I would not flash the flesh on a profile, but I don't judge those who do. If you got it, flaunt it.I have found most men on here, lonely and looking for Miss right.I am very upfront about sexual things and have never encountered a man , who thought badly of me because of it.In fact most have wanted serious relationships with me and not the solely sexual kind either.All the men who contacted me were serious, decent men.I would never be crude or vulgar or send nude pics--I find such things debasing.But there is no doubt I am a sexual woman . I think men appreciate a strong, sexual, intelligent woman and if they don't, mores the pity.I will never change who I am and those who call women sluts should forget the labeling of others and look in the mirror at themselves. Peoples sex lives are their own business.If only people got as het up about violence as they do about sex.
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Diablera - My feelings as well. And my experiences pretty much too. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/2/2008 5:18:41 PM |
El Mariachi,
Are you saying I may be a "slut"? I cherish the thought sweety. Thank you so much.
Um.. no.. I was asking "the board" if they say the same $hit about men and skin as they do about women and skin. | |
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Agapis
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Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 131 | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/3/2008 3:36:49 PM | | If someone takes pride in their intellect...that should be the foot they put forward....pictures don't talk, and pictures ask others to go off their perceptions of what they can see. Perception is reality. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:50:31 PM | Talking with my friends on this subject made me see how many people really interpret certain words differently and how easily it is to misunderstand and miscommunicate - and that's just on a general basis. It seems harder in a more intimate setting and so it's so important for people to be open about things.
Being open sexually does not mean a person will sleep around and are willing to be "open" to anything that comes along. It doesn't mean that they have no boundaries or self respect. It doesn't mean they are agreeing to doing anything and everything either, or having their private and personally thoughts, feelings and intimacies broadcast on the internet ect. It doesn't mean that they give another permission to degrade or abuse them, to humiliate or embarrass them. It also doesn't mean the same as an "open relationship" which some might assume. It certainly doesn't mean she is a slut because she can express herself as a woman to her man.
In how I look at this is that a person that is open sexually is that they can be completely free to talk to their partner/so/bf/husband about sexually issues w/ trust and w/o judgement. It just means there is a wonderful communication between the two and that the intimate part of their relationship is not confined to rules, that they can be open to each other w/o fear. That's my understanding anyway. It is my strong belief that it is not only important to be able to openly discuss sexual topics with your partner but that it really helps the relationship be a solid and strong one. But that's just my opinion and of course I could be completely wrong. Hmmmm.
I am glad that the op started this thread, it has been very interesting to see the responses, the different views and the sparks for thought and discussion. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/3/2008 11:44:15 PM | In the same, a man should also be able 2 talk and not be a pig. If open talk of what is comfortable is ok then say so. I have a brain and it is not in my pants. The worse thing is that I've found on this site is that when you c who profiles u and u respnd back it stays there, no further. Have I lost my mind or is conversation or interest gone here? At the least bit respond with thx, no thx. As i said I am grown. Not a slut or a pig am I. Can't set the hook if u don't get a nibble or a bite THX  | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/4/2008 7:22:02 AM | | As far as I'm concerned, I don't use words like "that S word" when referring to others. I can't see where it does any good to label others like that according to their sexual behavior. It's their body and their business. How does calling people that word do any good for anybody? | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/13/2008 11:51:48 AM | This phase has always pissed me off. If a guy sleep with a bunch of consenting ladies, he's called a stud(please) And if a woman does it, she's a slut(give me a break). Woman have a sex drive just like men(sometimes More). I find they people who call ladies sluts, for doing this ARE JUST INSECURE IN THEMSELVES and need too put other people down,to feel better about themselves. If your single,or swing(both parties consent), then whose business is what consenting adults do. HELLO people where in the 2100 century. Well, have fun all, and practise SAFE SEX(make sure the husband isn't home  ). Take care all  Jim | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/13/2008 12:20:26 PM | What the difference between a "slut" and a "****" ----A slut sleeps with everyone ---A **** sleeps with everyone but YOU
I may be easy, BUT i ain't cheap
FREE ( o )( o ) EXAMS, house calls available
What doesn't hurt ya, makes you glad the paddle had fur on it.
WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG
Take care all, Jim  cheers | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/13/2008 12:21:50 PM | What the difference between a "slut" and a "biatch" ----A slut sleeps with everyone ---A biatch sleeps with everyone but YOU
I may be easy, BUT i ain't cheap
FREE ( o )( o ) EXAMS, house calls available
What doesn't hurt ya, makes you glad the paddle had fur on it.
WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG
Take care all, Jim cheers | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/13/2008 12:34:34 PM |
I have been reading quite a few forums lately that discuss profile pics with cleavage and women who talk openly about sex. It seems that a lot of you have the opinion that if i show a little or a lot of cleavage and have open discussions with men about sex that I am considered to have weak morals.
WRONG
I am considered to be an intelligent, strong minded woman with dignity and do not allow others to treat me with anything less than respect. However, I am 41 and feeling great and I like to have fun. If a man seriously thinks that just because I love to flash a little cleavage and can have great and interesting conversations about ANYTHING that I would sleep with him, then he is mistaken. This is not a man that I would date!
Seriously where is the harm in two like minded adults flirting and talking openly!
I agree with you completely. Feeling open to talk about sex and showing off your body do not make you a slut. And if it is not causing any angst or problems for you then I wouldn't worry about what anyone else thinks. What can happen is that, it seems, most men do not see you type of behavior as having a healthy, open attitude toward sex. It seems old fashioned ideas about good girls and bad girls do, surprisingly, still prevail. If you feel that the way the men are approaching you and the way they behave toward you if you talk about sex with them in no way offends you, then keep on with it. Do not worry about what anyone else thinks. You are, as you say, a 41 year old woman. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/13/2008 1:15:11 PM | Definition of Slut: a. A woman considered sexually promiscuous.
b. A woman prostitute.
2. A slovenly woman; a slattern.
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Definition of Whore:1. A prostitute.
2. A person considered sexually promiscuous.
3. A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain.
intr.v. whored, whor·ing, whores
1. To associate or have sexual relations with prostitutes or a prostitute.
2. To accept payment in exchange for sexual relations.
3. To compromise one's principles for personal gain.
Have you ever heard the age old adages: "You are what you are perceived to be" and "you only get one chance to make a first impression"?
Being sexually open as woman gives the "perception" that a woman is in nice terms, very naughty, easy to get into bed, etc. In those terms, a guy may proposition you, not really caring if you say yes or no because the man is really not taking you seriously in the 1st place, he just simply wants to get laid.
Im not saying you are a slut, just defining some things here and giving perspective. A little mystery goes a long way for excitement. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/13/2008 4:11:45 PM | As a full grown woman, of 42, I reject the "definitions" stated above. They are out-dated and of no use in my life.
The confidence and comfort I have developed, through experience, and the freedom I grant myself to BE WHO I AM, and express who I am is a precious thing to me.. and if that includes a little flirting or an ADULT conversation with other adults, or allowing myself to be a sexual being, even in attitude.. then that's what it is. The double standard and the old attitude of women having to hide ( or repress) their sexuality is one I've never liked, and now that I am of an age where, frankly I don't give a damn what others think, I'm not going to let traditional backward thinking hold me down.
The funny thing is I have never been criticized for being a self-realized and lusty woman by any man who really appreciated women and their sexuality.. only the ones with insecurities or old-fashioned views of women. Not my problem.
By the time one reaches 30 or 40, one learns there is a time and place for everything... you don't bring up orgasms, or the latest dildos, at a business meeting or the PTA, but in adult company in the right atmosphere.. the idea of squelching myself to "appear" to be a "good girl", or to manipulate some people's opinion of me, or worse, to make them "comfortable" is abhorrent to me.. I won't have it. And.. the more of us that say, "FVCK THIS, it's stupid, and it's not genuine - it's not REALITY", the quicker the whole thing will slide away into the past where it belongs.
After many years of being an adult and sexually active I have just recently began to embrace, to really accept, that part of myself... to integrate that part with the rest of me.. and dammit, I'm not letting any crappy old ideas and attitudes get in my way. I spent far too many years twisting myself into a pretzel to "fit in", to "climb the ladder", to be liked ... nope no more, the rest of this journey is for me.
You can be open and sexual without being crude or tasteless... or worse, desperate. There is a huge difference between a woman who embraces her sexuality and one who is trying to bolster her self esteem through her sexuality.
peace | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/14/2008 6:11:27 PM | That's fine, you can reject the definitions...that doesn't make them any less valid...they are what they are...
You have said nothing that convinces me otherwise. All you did was make rationalizations about why your behavior is ok...obviously deep down you feel guilty about it or else you wouldn't be rationalizing it. do you know rationalizing something is a natural step the human brain takes in its thought process of dealing with something they know is "inherently" wrong? | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/14/2008 7:01:40 PM | Guilty?
nope, not at all. I find guilt to be useless for anything other than letting me know when I'm not being true to myself.. then I correct that, other than that I have no use for it. Neither do I accept shame anymore. Life is far too short for beating yourself up. Which relates directly to the OP... it's shame that twists and distorts us.
Happy? oh yes... found a great guy (here actually), have a great job, a great kid... life is pretty damn good.
Expressing one's view and rationalizing are not the same thing..
I stand by my post.. which was ON TOPIC | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/14/2008 7:34:47 PM | | i've been attacked by having sexy pics ...people assume i'm a slut and email me mean things(i just laugh at them) but im not and really don't give a hell wat people say i think my pics are tasteful..and people who comment on them are anyone elses for that matter, got way too much time on there hands,,also i take very few pics ..so if i or any other woman for that matter wants to fix herself up and take a sexy tatseful especially at my age ,stop hatin and assuming things ..there are many"undercover sluts" who don't dress sexy,for the record | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/14/2008 7:53:21 PM |
do you know rationalizing something is a natural step the human brain takes in its thought process of dealing with something they know is "inherently" wrong?
Funny you should mention that, seeing how you rationalized your improper mindset towards women by twisting definitions and attempting to justify your perceptions...
Especially ironic is the fact that your "definitions" only apply when your "perception" is added to the equation. A truly textbook example of just how "rationalizing" occurs.
Especially pathetic is the fact that you attempt to lead people to believe that YOUR "perceptions" are the de facto standard for the male population. Yea...go shovel that load of crap into the garden...only proper place for it... | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 8/14/2008 8:03:40 PM | | So if showing off your cleavage is just "inviting" the sexual propositions...... then I guess all those men who pose with expensive cars and motorcycles are just asking to get taken to the cleaners for their money? | |
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