| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 11/18/2008 10:08:36 AM | I have my own code of morals, I don't mess with anyone who is involved with someone else, I don't cheat or misrepresent myself... safe, sane and consensual is my bottom line, the rest is on a situational basis and what is right for my partner and myself.
I like to live by this, "Own your choices, and let others own theirs, don't judge unless you've EXPERIENCED it - cause if you haven't been in someone's shoes you have no clue what you are talking about".
Couldnt've put any better myself !!! | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 11/18/2008 11:35:44 AM | If you haven't noticed its not your fathers world anymore. This is 2008 and women are more aggressive about sex than most men. They want to feel sexy and show off some of the goods. That's hot and it sure doesn't make you a slut. If we judged men as we judge women then every man is a slut and a whore. Just cause you like sex and you are OK with talking freely about sex and your wants and desires just makes you a normal healthy woman that appreciates sex and knows how to enjoy | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 11/22/2008 1:30:40 PM | The question the OP posed is relevant to dating in general. It's an important question. I'm going to give you the answer right now. Women need to hear this, because many good women mess this up time after time!
Listen to me. It almost ALWAYS lowers a guy's opinion of a woman when she discusses her past sexual experiences in detail. I've found that to be the case, and my buddies have found that to be the case. A woman can be a great person with a lot of class, intelligence, morals, and personality; but if she discusses her priors too much and in too great detail, it makes her look like trash to a guy whose opinion she values (i.e.: a guy she would actually like to be with longer than for a causal fling). With all due respect to women: they mess up and get this wrong all the time. Many women seem to want to discuss past relationships, even when the guy hasn't expressed much interest in hearing about her past. A guy who is considering you for an LTR will ALWAYS reconsider it if you give him an earful about your past sexual relationships and hookups Any normal guy will be put off by it and often even disgusted by it; but he will never tell you that. He will just refuse to date you long-term---he will go for the quickie and then get rid of you.
Listen to me. Don't talk about it. Yeah, yeah.......I know we're all supposed to be able to talk about the most graphic experiences without any qualms or judgments entering into the picture. Get real. The guy will judge you if you detail your past sexual experiences with other guys, period. Wake up!
It's alright to mention briefly any long-term, meaningful relationships you've had----we know that any woman will have had experiences in the past. A guy doesn't lose respect when a woman talks about a small number of guys who were important to her emotionally. Past marriages, engagements, or LTRs, whatever. However, there is no need for a woman to discuss her one-night stands and wild romps with a prospect. It WILL hurt her reputation with the guy. I was talking with a woman I was interested in a few months back, and we talked a bit about past relationships. I tried not to go too far into the graphic sexual details. I tried to tell her, "Hey, I don't need to hear about that. That's your business." But this woman just felt the need to tell me about one particular, drunken, one-night, anal romp which wasn't particularly pleasant for her. She let herself get involved in a mindless, unsafe (no condom) fling with some sexually inept jack@ss. It made her look like trash. She is still beautiful and still has a lot going for her; but would I consider her for an LTR? Hell, no. I'll go for a one-nighter like the other guy did and skedaddle out of there. It's something she could have and should have kept to herself; but it was too late after she insisted on sharing it. (By the way, there is nothing wrong with anal sex in itself).
Being sexually open does not make you a slut. That's correct. But sharing the details of one-night stands and irresponsible drunken flings DOES make a woman look like a slut. Trash. Garbage. I think we all know that. Show some modesty and keep the explicit details to yourselves unless you're just looking for another casual fling.  | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 11/22/2008 1:44:27 PM | I don't talk about my previous sexual experiences to my men, i have a past, but its none of their business, and if they pry into it, then they politely get told, not to ask.
I will talk sexual, but not about my sexual past, and i don't think being engaged in sexual discussion or experimentation makes me a slut. Neither do i feel it necessary to "put it all on show", thats not sexy in my eyes. You can be provocative, without having your tits hanging out, and skirt thats smaller than a belt. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 11/23/2008 1:55:25 AM | I agree with the OP. My pic pops out at ya but that doesn't mean I want a pic of your...
or I want to Cyber with ya! I am blessed and I love my body. I care if the next person does! If you posess nothin but a filthy mouth and a dirty mind...most women are not interested! Tit shot or not! | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 11/23/2008 10:50:00 AM |
Listen to me. It almost ALWAYS lowers a guy's opinion of a woman when she discusses her past sexual experiences in detail.
That's NOT what being open sexually means to me. I won't speak for all, but I suspect, I'm so not alone in that notion.
When I hear that phrase, I think willing and interested in trying new things and having few or no sexual hang-ups.
Talking about your sexual escapades.. esp when not asked is simply being a braggart. No one likes that. Again.. can't speak for all, but I doubt I'm alone in that view.
With all due respect to women: they mess up and get this wrong all the time.
If I'm asked, I may tell, but more often than not... you're gonna just have to wait for the live show to get a handle on what experience I have.
Also.. a LOT of men ask. I don't mind being asked and even though I will almost NEVER answer, I decide the "worthiness" of a guy based on how he responds to not being able to hear the sorted stories. If it's with indignation... he's a goner.
Being open doesn't mean being a tell-all. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 11/27/2008 10:54:50 PM | Windloverr
OMG you just discribed ME lol except for the 2-3 lovers
When I am with a man it is because I want to be with him. And have never regretted any of my experiences. Some GOOD and some not but never a regret. I do have friends that have been with men that they said made them feel like a slut Specifically after a few dates and they have sex and then the men never call them again. Is that all they wanted? in that case I tell them that he is the slut not her .I love men and I do not believe that all men are pigs. But I do know that men have different needs sexually Men are more visual creatures Men need sex to be romantic women need romance to be sexual
You are only a slut if you believe you are a slut | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 11/30/2008 1:54:38 PM | I'm pretty open about sex. If guys consider women who are open about sex, slutty, that's their problem, not ours. One of the reasons I'm so open about it, is I want the guy to feel comfortable talking about it too, especially if we're considering having sex with each other. I want us both to have a pleasurable time with each other.
The other reason I'm open about it, is due to safety issues for women. My mom started talking to me about boys and sex at a pretty young age, because she didn't want me getting raped, drugged, or sexually harassed by boys or men as I got older. Teaching your daughters about sex, is not just about her body, it's also a way of keeping her safe. She also didn't want me to get pregnant or and STD so she started talking with my about all those things early on.
And I am happy to say, because I've always been so "open" about sex, I've never been raped, never had an STD, never had an unwanted pregnancy, because I had a mom who was "open" about sex too.
Being open about it lets a guy know, that he doesn't have to do all the work, and you're not afraid to talk about certain things sexually. I think it's a great thing, and as a woman, I am grateful that we have more freedom in this area these days. Thank god. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 12/2/2008 2:13:50 AM | | amen sister....I have no problem discussing sex with anyone and am very experienced due to the quality of partners I have had not due to the amount! I think everyone should be so open when talking sex it is part of the world and a great topic! One of my favorite things! :) | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 12/2/2008 2:39:31 AM |
Just cause you like sex and you are OK with talking freely about sex and your wants and desires just makes you a normal healthy woman that appreciates sex and knows how to enjoy
^^ Great answer! | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 12/2/2008 10:33:52 AM | OP,
I agree with you totally. Keep in mind that not everyone has had an optimal childhood and psychological and psycho-sexual development. Others just have a different drive. Of course you are being judged by some.
My sensibility on this is that each individual has to define for themselves who they are as a sexual being, find limitations, find interests, Etc. Some people have a strong need for experimentation. There are personality styles, both trait and state, that affect an individual's interest and curiosity for adventure and relationships. Keep in mind that the foundation of an individual's sexuality is social, cultural, psychological, situational, developmental and familial. Sexual history is NOT the totality of a person's being. It is merely and necessarily one aspect of who they are.
I get nervous when I smell judgment in the air too.
Short of subrogation I dont how anyone has the right to judge. I do believe some people have an affliction for sex. Some dont. Some shopping, smoking, drinking, drugs, stealing, lying, cheating, etc...
Why dont we put everyone who judges under the microscope and see if they are beyond reproach. Whose first?????
You keep enjoying sex and talking about it. Let those who judge take their poorly veiled insecurities and apply a MORAL sticker on it. It is what it is. Reasonable minds can differ even if NOT reasonable.
ER
ER | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 12/17/2008 7:27:23 AM | I enjoy sex as much as anyone, but I've always had this attitude that when in public, there is 'slutty sexy' and 'subtle sexy'. Its' not necessary to display the goods in order to look sexy. Its' actually more of an attitude I think. If I know that under my subtle, sexy dress is sexy lingerie, and that I'm clean, manicured and soft and smooth, and I smell pretty, and my sexy shoes are comfortable on a dance floor, .....then I...feel...sexy....and it probably shows.
Same goes for posting even though this is a sexuality forum. I believe in discretion and I think a little mystery is more alluring than all the hard core facts. I believe that most men appreciate a woman who is a 'lady in the streets' and then are even more appreciative when they find that the 'lady' they treated like a 'a lady', rewards them with the surprise that she is also a 'freak in the sheets'!
Just my take!
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 12/26/2008 9:23:15 AM |
Depends.
If you are an exhibitionist AND being way to open sexually too often and don't know that there is a time and place for everything but you happen to have bad timing for that.. then you are definately a slut.
The more skin you expose in public, the more you rightfully deserve whats coming to you.
I'm not trying to bust your balls or anything...........but I don't think a man that is here for just sex..........and maybe friendship after you have sex should be the slut authorities. Not that I think there is anything wrong with what you are searching............just the way that you are judging others.  | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 12/26/2008 11:08:03 AM |
I'm not trying to bust your balls or anything...........but I don't think a man that is here for just sex..........and maybe friendship after you have sex should be the slut authorities. Not that I think there is anything wrong with what you are searching............just the way that you are judging others.
Slut is such an ugly word, kinda like the word "perv"  | |
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notwow
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Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 217 | |
| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 12/26/2008 12:56:41 PM | OP, agreed... being open is NOT slutty.
I have dated women who I never slept with, yet we could openly discuss sexual issues in a non-threatening manner... as example, discuss her favorite vibrator and why it works better then others, and trust me, I never thought of her as a slut. We were not going to have a relationship, so why should I sleep with her?
Slutty is when someone is indiscriminate with who and when they sleep with someone, not one is is sexual. Being sexy and sexual is great, being slutty is not. Most of us can tell the difference. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 12/26/2008 1:04:53 PM | I try to be open about my sexuality and be taken as a slut but so far no one has taken me seriously. I guess I could show a little cleavage on a pic to change that. Bring home my tool belt from work and possibly wear a thong.
Would have to get the lighting right. I don't have a heck of a lot to work with back there, but then again it is always in the presentation. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 1/1/2009 5:11:26 AM | | There are other posts in this forum that have seem men say that a girl that is into casual sex are the girls they will sleep with but will not have a relationship with..........so, they day it don't matter yet it really does. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 1/1/2009 6:41:59 AM | | What's a slut anyway? Really? I'm open sexually because that's who I am. I've learned over the years that you don't get what you want by being quiet. I'm certain I'm not a slut. (but I can be anything you want me to be, haaa) | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 1/1/2009 7:14:13 AM | Surely Shirley. I do agree with you about hiding it. I get more turned on with the secretary look. When i was young, the less cloths the better i liked it. Things change with age. Different strokes for different folks. | |
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| Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 1/2/2009 11:30:07 PM | I hear about it all the time. I think that there are way too many uptight people in this world, especially females. They are not comfortable in their own bodies and can't imagine being so open. Women would not be such a mystery to men if women opened up to them. Deep down they all want to be sexually open but are worried about what other people think.
Just because you are open does not make you a slut. If you are out and forward about it, it will be easier for you to get what you want in life.
Maybe I am too much like one of the guys. I think more like man.
Julya | |
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