JimNeu
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Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 51 | |
| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 7/29/2008 7:56:08 PM | One thing..
Don't let 'virgin' define you. I was one longer than most guys for the simple fact that I believed you should wait till marriage. I wanted to find a girl who felt the same way. It was a friggin crusade for me, actually.
Never did find a female virgin. I hear they exist, but never showed up in my world.
Now to my point. It became a quest. Oh, you slept with one guy just before me.. see ya. Not good. Not a good attitude. Of course I would mess around with the girls, and used the Billy Bob Clinton definition of 'sexual relations'
And even if I found one, whose to say she would have been compatible in other ways.
Quite frankly, I should have just gotten laid. I was super horny and was constantly fighting temptation like all hell. Stupid. I realize that I have the willpower of a God, but it did me no good. There were some good women I let go, and for the wrong reasons. Live and learn.
When I finally 'crossed over' (amen, hallelujah) I realized it was no big friggin deal.
Damn Catholic church messed me up good.
One final note. Some women may laugh, yes, laugh at you. You'd think it would be a sign of strength, that you can resist temptation and use self control. Many of them see it as weakness.
Not all of them are that way, though. I hope you meet one of the good ones.
Good luck. And again.. don't let the 'virgin' label define you. Who cares and no one needs to know! | |
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| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 7/29/2008 9:39:29 PM | | I don't think you should feel embarrassed. You should feel proud of being able to wait so long. For myself, it is a huge turn-off when a guy just cannot wait to jump into bed. | |
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| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 7/30/2008 1:18:18 AM | I wouldn't worry about it at all.
Seriously.
Try not to think about the sex aspect when meeting women. Focus on getting to know them and letting them get to know you. After a couple of dates, if the topic of sex comes up, let them know you are a virgin. If you were in your late 30's I'd say that is pretty odd, but 23....common!
Any worthy woman would probably get excited by the idea of being your first. Even though it may not be the best sex they've had, it's exciting to be able to be the "teacher" so to speak.
When it comes to sex, just be willing to explore and don't get offended if she wants to nudge you in the right direction or give you pointers.
Good luck! | |
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| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 7/30/2008 2:04:43 AM | Aha! Another virgin thread!
*crawls out of the woodwork* 
In all seriousness now:
I'd actually say probably half of guys or less actually lose it in their teens.
Actually, only 21% of people (both genders) are still virgins when they reach the age of 18. I had to research this kinda stuff for a documentary so I'm an expert on virginity stats.  | |
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| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 7/30/2008 2:24:09 AM | A quote from CNN Health:
Statistics show that more than half of teen-agers remain virginal until at least age 17. By the age of 20, 76 percent of women, and 80 percent of men have had sex. Only 6.9 percent of men and 21 percent of women between the ages of 18 and 59 wait until their wedding night for the experience.
I think your virginity is a positive thing. It lets women know you are selective, and your choice not to engage in sex without contraception shows that you are mature. Guys may be hard on you sometimes, but I think most women your age will applaud you. According to the above, over 1/5 of women (and almost 7% of men) wait for marriage, so you will hardly be alone in the 'haven't done the deed' camp. | |
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| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 7/30/2008 7:18:07 AM | I used to think that it was no big deal. Then I met a few male virgins and concluded that after a certain age, virginity is a sign of deeper issues.
If it truly is about 'waiting for marriage' that's fine. Many times, I find male virgins of a certain age to have a very unrealistic and bitter attitude towards women. In a young adult, its not such a big deal. Older virgins just scream "dysfunctional", I find that they are often carrying embittered and misinformed opinions about women. | |
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| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 7/30/2008 12:28:33 PM | All being a virgin at 20's done for me is reduce my sex drive to that of bacteria. I just see sex as something that happens to other people so don't really see the point in wanting it.
I think I'm kinda borderline asexual, in the sense I don't even pretend or imagine it'll ever happen, anymore, so I just try not to care. Then I think never having a single girlfriend, and only having been kissed three times, all three probably more due to alcohol than anything, might've had something to do with that.
I've got a stronger relationship with my axe than I've ever had with a woman, and truth be told, it'll probably stay that way. I love my axe. | |
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| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 7/30/2008 12:51:40 PM | I would think...fresh meat. I kidd..I kidd..I rather have a virgin than a disease.
Well, you don't state why you are a virgin. I was a virgin until I was 21. I was waiting until I could drink legally I was a virgin for a long time, because I went to all girl schools and had my nose in books. I was a social wall flower. I thought I was weird too when I heard about all the sex my girlfriends were having. I broke out of my shell and met a man. The rest is history.
Maturity has nothing to do with sex. Maturity has to do with how you treat others. I never told anyone I was a virgin. It was no one's business, but mine. I did not even tell the first guy I had sex with I was a virgin. You don't have to say anything either. Though I am sure there are many women who have fantasies about being with virgins.
It all depends on what you want. | |
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| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 7/30/2008 3:09:34 PM | I waited until about 23 before I threw in the towel and gave in to peer pressure...thankfully my first was a good friend of mine...hot too. Good times.
I wouldn't want to be a virgin at 30 though...scary thoughts. Whatever your reasons, marriage, the right moment, etc...screw it!!! Just do it...fate doesn't work for men...men have to seek and persue and actively put effort into anything they want in life.
Just do it!!! | |
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| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 7/30/2008 3:49:03 PM |
Dude,
You have to ask yourself why it matters to you. Is it something to be embarrassed about? Maybe -- after all, being good with women is a sign of male strength. But this is prideful, and only to boost your status among men.
A girl with integrity and morals will not care, I can assure you. So if that's what you're looking for, then there isn't a problem. In fact, they probably prefer it that way, knowing that you have no std's (even hard to detect ones like genital HPV), have self-control, gives her security, and can be taught the way she feels comfortable. Of course, kissing, sex, etc. are all natural things to do, so how much teaching you'd "need" is pretty minimal anyways.
Now, if you're a virgin because you're socially awkward or something, that's a turn off to women. But they would be turned off not because you're a virgin (the symptom), but the lack of confidence (the cause). So, if that' s your issue, work on your social skills and become good at attracting women. A lot of guys start out pretty shy (which kills any chances with women) and turn out as perfectly normal people by the time they are 20 or 30.
Don't worry about it.
I have to agree with desertbulldog. Too often sex is used as the defining point of a relationship and so much pressure is put on someone to have sex. A relationship isn't built on sex, but on communication, trust, and enjoying spending quality time with the other person. | |
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| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 7/30/2008 4:27:22 PM | | Being a virgin until marriage shoudl actually be a good thing. But i know if i were about to date a man that told me he was still a virgin i would run. I would wonder what was so wrong with him that he hasnt had sex. So if i were you i wouldnt tell a woman that you havent had sex. Then if the possiblity comes up to have sex and you want to then go for it. But at the same time if you go out with a woman a couple of times or more and you dont try to get some from her she might think that you just arent into her, but if you then tell her its not that you arent into her but its becuase you are saving yourself she may think there is something wrong with you. | |
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| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 7/30/2008 4:48:25 PM | I married the guy who lost his virginity to me, he was 27. Three years later we were divorced. One of the reasons was a total lack of sex drive. After his second marriage broke up, he moved back with his mom.
My opinion, Sex is an important part of a relationship and I think SOME experience is good, before you settle down. But don't just do it because you think you are getting too old to start. | |
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| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 7/30/2008 5:24:59 PM | | OP, listen to me. When you're ready, you're ready. Only you will know when you are ready. I am sure women have offered and you have had opportunities to have sex and you just didn't take them for whatever reason. When the right time comes, you will lose your virginity and be proud that you waited until the time was right. Don't feel pressured. Don't allow society to influence what you believe to be is right. | |
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| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 7/30/2008 9:35:08 PM | Actually, it seems kind of cool that you have a life outside of sex.
I see a virgin as... moulding clay. There is limitless potential. Because chances are you actually would care about your partner's pleasure and not take gentle guidance during sex as insulting.
And you can offer satisfaction. Often, how I've been wooed emotionally is half the sex life. A lot of women see man virgins as sweet compassionate people who actually want to talk about feelings. | |
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| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 7/30/2008 10:23:39 PM | I am sorry but I have nothing but pathos for you. I seriously do. And you are a ****....and I am saying this lovingly...you are a ****. Do you know why you asked this question? It is because you needed validation. You needed those high school girls to validate you. You were waiting for them to approach you instead of approaching them. But you took all those words in feminist columns and shows like "Keep you thing in your pants" personally even though the persons towards whom these were directed were least perturbed. The result- they still got laid. Through a combination of low self esteem and various other complexes, you always give more priority to being a "nice person" (I dont want a girl to call me a jerk..shhh) rather than your basic desire of ejaculating aided by the sqeezing action of the vaginal walls.
Now look. I know that there is a lot of underground prostitution and 1000s of escorts in Miami. This is what you will do. You will pay for your first sexual experience. This is because you are always so bothered about being the perfect guest that you will screw things up with a non-professional. A professional will not judge you, or even if she does, will not say anything. You will have that psychological comfort of being there through the payment of capital. You should enjoy it. Relax your central nervous system a little before the act by smoking a little pot. Then you should look for more tail. You will use your previous knowledge as a learning experience and let instinct be your guide. Slowly you will learn how to press psychological buttons very confidently. But sitting on your ass and trying to figure out what women would think wont do....you have to make something happen. Be a man. In case you feel that some therapy is required, then a bit of listening to a Los Angeles based radio talk show host would surely help. | |
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| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 7/30/2008 10:34:13 PM | All hail the counselor who advises using illegal drugs and hookers!
Seriously, the above post is a perfect example of what NOT to do. I would be willing to bet that an unbelievably overwhelming majority of women would rather be with a virgin than a guy who uses/used whores. Not only is it illegal, but it is also creepy and sleazy.
The one kernel of wisdom in the bushels of chaff is that you should try not to make this a bigger deal than it is. If you are constantly fretting, chances are pretty good that you won't have as much fun as you could have. | |
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| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 7/31/2008 1:58:03 PM | Message 68 is classic! Hookers and pot to lose your virginity. What a concept! I have a male friend whose father took him to a whorehouse when he was 16 to "lose it." Needless to say, my friend is still traumatized.
There is a grain a truth to message 68. Stop thinking about being a "nice person" and judging yourself by other people's standards. Living your life that way does not work.
On another note, I read about older female virgins using hook-ups on craigslist to lose their virginity. I found that information funny and ...odd. | |
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| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 8/1/2008 10:43:38 AM | | I wish more of my friends had sons like you so I could be their (first) MRS. ROBINSON. Or at least get my kicks in an effort to try. | |
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| Your thoughts on guys being virgins...
Posted: 8/3/2008 10:20:07 AM | | Why would you "feel 100% comfortable dating a guy if he were" a virgin, does that make him less stable, or less of a man or unbalanced? How many women should he have been with to make you feel more comfortable? 3,5,10, 20, etc. | |
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