| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:56:56 PM | Actually ML......I had digressed from the topic when referring to the term Dysfunctional.......I would never use that term in any relation to someone living with a disability...so not cool !
I was just thinking about what the heck is Normal any more and what is considered Dysfunctional today in comparison lets say to the 50's and 60's. Both words as defined years ago have seriously changed.
Sorry if my post led some astray....
CC
no experience or exposure the conduct of a dysfunctional handicapped person may be rather unsettling. | |
|
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/25/2008 4:57:57 PM | I'm on the other end of the spectrum.
I make prolonged eye contact rarely blinking. The term windows to the soul is quite right indeed, many things can be seen by those looking.
There called assumptions.
When people look away from my gaze I never assume anything but that they really don't want to make eye contact, period.
Who the fvck am I to make conclusions of their entirety based on whether or not they make eye contact?, it's frikken stupid, is it not?.
Just by the mere fact people are willing to dismiss others based on this is ridiculous.
And says volumes to their *tolerant* need to see people down never knowing what may compel this action, be it conscious or not.
I think OP, you might want to just hang a sign out your business place reading....
*we make eye contact here, and judge you by thus*
yup.
sounds pretty stupid doesn't it?
 | |
|
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/25/2008 5:13:55 PM |
Both words as defined years ago have seriously changed.
cloe,
no need to be sorry, every one can learn or hear something new or different.
apologies if my uses of a word lead your thoughts off the general contend of the discussion or my thoughts in this case.
Yes, I too get a bit confused as well with those changes, because English on every continent it is spoken deviates from its origins...lol
You may be right that in particular people in North America (not you personally) like to stretch specific words and their original generally accepted meaning to suit (usually) agenda specific purposes, political semantics and the political correctness and in some cases perhaps well intended protectionism of a specific minority.
I take exception to that in the sense that when a specific word, which can be interpreted negatively is written in a general nonjudgmental way and not aimed and any individual person or group means what the majority would understand.
I do understand we all can get sidetracked by events and experiences of our personal circumstances, but IMO we should also be generous and self-confident enough to grant benefit of doubt.
As I interpreted the OP the person encountered deviated in his behavior from what the OP was used to. My commentary took that pre-set condition into account.
Dysfunctional
1: impaired or abnormal functioning
2 : abnormal or unhealthy interpersonal behavior or interaction within a group
Abnormal
: deviating from the normal or average : unusual, exceptional
Normal
1. according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle
2. conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern
3. occurring naturally
4.
a)of, relating to, or characterized by average intelligence or development
b) free from mental disorder : sane | |
|
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/25/2008 5:46:50 PM | My eldest daughter has a form of Autism... she is a high functioning Asperger's kid.
She has moments of brilliance...excels in math, has played piano by sight since she was 3.... one problem with Aspies is that they do not make eye contact.
It is very difficult to socialize or to connect with people when you can not maintain eye contact.... or to even engage in conversation. It inhibits her ability to make friends as people do not understand the lack of eye contact issue....and feel she is being anti-social.
there are many Aspies out there... very high functioning people, I recently met a Vet who lead a very fulfilling life... I have met a lot of adult Aspergers' people... a lot of computer techies apparently suffer from it...that is why the choice in profession....they stay to themselves or very isolated... you are not going to find a lot of them in Sales or Customer Service on a face to face contact basis.
patience... you may be reading someone wrong... it may not be an intentional case of avoiding eye contact...but just how they are programmed.
just my 2 cents.
ps.. Bill Gates is said to have Aspergers... The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth. | |
|
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/25/2008 7:14:24 PM | Wow. Good thread. I was reading it yesterday, and now feel compelled to comment.
Not sure how "avoiding eye contact" became about mental dysfunction, lack of sociality/sociopath tendencies, or some sort of physical/mental abuse. Those aren't the only things to consider. They are definitely valid reasons, but not the only possibilities.
Being a person that has trouble holding eye contact for longer than 10 or 20 seconds at a time, and where none of the above apply, I must put this out there...
I am a hyper sensitive person, and I do agree with "the eyes are the windows to the soul". I feel that my eyes reveal A LOT.
Some of the reasons (I think) that I will avoid eye contact:
I'm attracted to someone who is unavailable.
I get bad vibes from someone.
Someone is attracted to me, who I'm not attracted to.
Someone who talks too much, and I want to get away.
I'm a Pisces, and from what I've read, it is hard to hold eye contact with us, as well as Geminis. For different reasons though. Pisces people can seem to be "guilty of something" to other people because of the lack of eye contact. This fits me to a tee. Geminis' brains are always going and they are constantly observing their surroundings, and may appear to have "darting" eyes. For those of you who don't acknowledge astrology..., well, it's your loss. I've seen enough to find some truth... flaky as I may seem.
Although I have trouble 'holding' eye contact, I'm very good at putting people at ease and have always been told that I'm easy to get along with (I am passive and humble) and have a knack for diffusing difficult situations.
So it goes to show that as earthlings, we are very diverse, and there are countless explanations for why we are the way we are.
My approach is always tentative when it comes to people who are easily put at unease. There isn't any one single right way to approach and handle someone who's comfort zone isn't what we're used to. I think you have to just "figure it out" as you go. Go with your gut.
P.S. This kind of reminds me of the "close talker" episode of Seinfeld, where the guy would talk nose to nose with whomever he was talking to. | |
|
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/25/2008 7:39:43 PM |
I'm a Pisces, and from what I've read, it is hard to hold eye contact with us, as well as Geminis
Well.
Since there is no such thing as astrology it makes your point moot.
Ya, maybe a thousand years ago the planets may have come to your rescue on this but since now aries is crow and blah is nothing then I guess........................
Astrology is bullshit.
Look into my eyes, and I'll tell you the whole of your truth, has nothing to do with dipshit astrology.....
you looked away, shit, and here I was going to tell you the entirety of your worth..........
damn.
did I tell you religion is the greatest scam ever created by man?, yup, what else do you tell the three year old where their goldfish has gone...........
*yawns* | |
|
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/25/2008 7:48:53 PM | Look into my eyes, and I'll tell you the whole of your truth, has nothing to do with dipshit astrology.....
As he says with his dark sunglasses...
*yawns*
doh.. i dont have a pic... don't look into my letters??? | |
|
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/25/2008 7:58:42 PM | My job is face-to-face with a lot of people and many of them have a hard time with eye contact. It's just how some people are.
If someone were blatantly avoiding eye contact, I would assume I either had a big hunk o' spinach in my teeth or my blouse was unbuttoned one too many buttons, or I had something hanging out of my nose.
I myself tend to make a lot of eye contact - it seems to help me pay attention to what the other person is saying.
But windows to the soul? Nuh uh. | |
|
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/25/2008 8:10:25 PM | | One of the reasons why people avoid eye contact is because they are not feeling safe or comfortable talking with another person any maybe are not feeling that their thoughts, opinions are worthy of another person's hearing them. Making direct eye contact can be a really brave thing to do for people who are feeling this way. It's best not to expect that this is going to happen quickly. Not sitting face to face but more at an angle from them is a place to start or playing cards or a board game or driving somewhere (not much eye contact takes place when you are driving and they are a passenger) are places to start as far as building trust so they may begin to feel safer making eye contact. It takes time. | |
|
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/25/2008 8:37:22 PM | I actually avoid eye contact with someone that comes across as way too intense, verbally demanding and p**** me off no end when trying to converse with them. To end this unpleasant episode it signals the agressor that the communication is over and so is my wasted time. It's a significant show of body language, and the type of eye contact from the other person is an excellent indicator of what their personality is really like.
| |
|
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/25/2008 8:57:47 PM | Good Lord... OR, I give you much credit for your patience and good manners when dealing with some hyper-sensitives. 
It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
If they are looking at someone or something else and speaking to me...
Is it "creepy"? No. Is it confusing and uncomfortable sometimes? Yes.
B. | |
|
| |
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/25/2008 9:40:38 PM | Red Rum
I actually avoid eye contact with someone that comes across as way too intense, verbally demanding and p**** me off no end when trying to converse with them. To end this unpleasant episode it signals the agressor that the communication is over and so is my wasted time. It's a significant show of body language, and the type of eye contact from the other person is an excellent indicator of what their personality is really like.
HAHAHAHA now if only that worked like that in the threads,..... GOOD ONE!! Well directed.
To those who will comment,...It's tongue in cheek and. yes I know ..don't read the threads or click "close or delete". | |
|
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/25/2008 9:48:51 PM | Here it comes
Maybe 5 cents worth.
#1 Glad to see that TruthIseebullsh*t is here expounding his crap once again. I see right through you bro... leave the astrology for those who believe it as much as you believe your own bullchit. You sure know how to clear a room my man, you are a man right? Dude, why so negative?
#2 Eye contact is an important tool of communication and is a learned one imho. For those who have difficulty, so be it...live and let live! Eye know what eye is saying.
#3 Whats with all the animosity people? These are open forums. get with the program, nothing is personal, it's just other human beings expressing an opinion.... right or wrong, who's to judge?
VVV
Panther
GuiltyGuidoasCharged | |
|
| |
| |
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/26/2008 12:03:07 AM | ^^^ lol ...good point
in my case it would be peek hole contact
i wont open the door to anyone that wont peek back
momo and i had no problem gazing into each others eyes tonight over a romantic dinner...it wasn't weird ,
i didn't feel creeped out and i dont think she smelled too bad
listen up guys - shes really good with bangers & mash | |
|
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/26/2008 1:30:02 AM | {quote]Where the heck is mountainlion and Guido tonight! Not seen them put their 2 cents in for a while????
rum hope to be excused, went   where were you daarlin????
guido gave you his last cash, I already ran out
seems the dollar doesn't go very far
its fun though to see the twisting and wiggling of minds, words and feelings...
reminds me of fishing, putting a worm on the hook
but seriously people, as was pointed out before, there are many reasons why persons who suffer from disabilities are unable to hold eye contact, so lets just leave it at that. The curious may go to the library and read volumes of medicine and psychology on that.
There are many reasons why otherwise normal (in the general sense) persons are unable to hold eye contact, this too has been mentioned before and again for the inquisitive there are volumes of psychology books to read dealing with that topic..lol
There are also lots of instructional books available for personal managers and police suggesting what one may interpret from a persons eye contact and the variances of changes of the pupils during interview or questioning.
Think we are giving poor OR a headache  and his eyes are rolling
 y'all | |
|
| |
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/27/2008 12:44:46 AM | ^^depends on the woman...
momo and i had no problem gazing into each others eyes tonight over a romantic dinner...it wasn't weird ,
i didn't feel creeped out and i dont think she smelled too bad
listen up guys - shes really good with bangers & mash
<div class='quote'>Hmmm so you mean I may have better luck with women if I look at their eyes and not their breasts????
Although MB and i did gaze into one anothers eyes over a romantic meal with
Bangers. I did spend a fair amount of time looking at her lovely breasts.
I'm not sure if she noticed or not ! At least if she did she did not mention it was creepy.
I am quite sure she was looking at mine too | |
|
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/27/2008 1:08:29 PM | | If I can't see eye to eye with someone they constitute that 0.063% of the population with autism, or an unlikely 85 % carrying a dissimilar set of culturally defined non verbal cues (non-Caucasian), or are just plainly shifty eyed squidgy sketchy dodgers, it still doesn't change the fact that there is some barrier in communication that is likely going to be a big headache. | |
|
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/28/2008 6:32:43 PM |
We already provide very generous help and acceptance to disabled persons for humanitarian reasons
We can fix the problem. Quoted by a very famous man in the last century, I believe his name was Adolph Hitler. Oh yeah, he had the fix.
Before you get on the bandstand, don't tell me how easy it is for disabled people. Unless you've been there, don't even think you know what it's like to be in a wheelchair, or only have the use of one arm, or paraplegic, or blind, or, or...... That's a whole different thread.
When you've got the "typical" person avoiding eye contact, back off, try a different tact. If that doesn't work, try another. Being from a sales background, it's easier, but, eventually you'll hit on the combinations that makes contact. | |
|
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/29/2008 12:22:00 AM | | I think it would be well, at least weird for someone to not look at you directly at least once in the conversation. But I've met people who have creeped ME out by constantly staring at my eyes for long intervals, and very(too) close, which would make me avert my gaze, and make me want to make a hasty retreat. | |
|
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/29/2008 3:32:26 PM | #1 Glad to see that TruthIseebullsh*t is here expounding his crap once again. I see right through you bro... leave the astrology for those who believe it as much as you believe your own bullchit. You sure know how to clear a room my man, you are a man right? Dude, why so negative?
Your posts are dull, boring, all of them, yeah, All of them
its fun though to see the twisting and wiggling of minds, words and feelings...
reminds me of fishing, putting a worm on the hook
yup.
| |
|
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/29/2008 9:31:28 PM | | OR I would not consider doing business with someone that averted eyes throughout the whole deal. When money crosses palms and levels of trust are tested, all body language is important between the two people. I agree you whole heartedly on this one. | |
|
Home
login 
