| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 7/29/2008 9:31:28 PM | | OR I would not consider doing business with someone that averted eyes throughout the whole deal. When money crosses palms and levels of trust are tested, all body language is important between the two people. I agree you whole heartedly on this one. | |
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| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 9/25/2008 1:37:05 PM |
. I don't mean he would look away a bit. He had actually turned his head and was facing perhaps 30 degrees to my right,
It's funny actually, I was at a chiropractor appointment this morning...and my dr won't make eye contact. He turns away or looks down any time we talk to each other. He makes a point of not looking at you. I had to call my friend that referred me to him, just to ensure it wasn't just me that he won't look at. Apparently he does it with all his patients. | |
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Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 52 | |
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 9/25/2008 1:43:18 PM | ^^^^
While I've never subjected my body to the manipulations of a chiropractor, I think if I were to do that I would feel uncomfortable if he couldn't look me in the eye and yet would be doing to me what ever those people do.
Is your friend male or female. Perhaps the chiropractor averts his eyes only with women? | |
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| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 9/25/2008 4:41:56 PM | I was at a chiropractor appointment this morning...and my dr won't make eye contact. He turns away or looks down any time we talk to each other.
I wouldn't think it impossible that maybe some Clients might inadvertantly get turned on by his physical Manipulations. Maybe he was jumped a few Times over the Span of his Career, wants to avert "Sensual Eye" Contact. A long drawn out Suit could also have thrown him into a Fear Loop practicing Chiro and may be trying to prevent a Recurrence.
Maybe he likes you and its his Way to make 100% sure nothing comes of it. Also you seem to be a new Patient, so maybe he is a bit apprehensive.The Reasons are Endless. Maybe his Wife balls him out nightly because of some Fling he had with one of his Patients at one Time. Maybe he feels he can't help some People but can't say anything. As long as he does a good Job that's all that Matters. | |
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| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 9/25/2008 5:03:13 PM | You are right Ticket, I am a new patient. I was thinking the same thing.
I try not to look to deeply into the "That's it ***, just relax...yea...just like that...mmmmph" :laugh:
OR: my friend was a guy...perhaps the Dr. liked him too?? | |
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| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 9/25/2008 5:19:58 PM | wait a minute.....cracking backs gets people...er...all worked up
hmmmmmmmmmm
i wish gynocologists would accept this as a standard op proceedure
someones gonna lose an eye....case closed...sewn shut...im outta here
sorry...i dont want to bare witness | |
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| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 9/26/2008 8:53:35 AM | If you are really interested in learning about what someone who has less than normal eye contact, you might read this memoir by the brother of the author of "Running With Scizzors." Its a great read, and you might get an idea of who you were talking to that day.
"Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's"
by John Elder Robison
Amazon has a video interview with the author.
http://www.amazon.com/Look-Me-Eye-Life-Aspergers/dp/0307395987
I believe eyes are windows to your soul.
"It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?"
It is only creepy when you don't understand what you are dealing with.
So much of normal communication is done with body language, (up to 70%) that someone whose communication is missing this component will seem jarring. Since most people get their "honesty" factor from watching the body language--not from simply listening to what the person says with words, the person may seem to be "dishonest" when in reality, the most dishonest persons work very hard on getting eye contact right.
Some people with Asperger's syndrome wear dark glasses to make this less unusual-looking.
You might want to consider what YOU were communicating--moving in front of someone who seems to be looking away on purpose is "testing" them. You were using body language to say that you thought he was being "wrong."
In the world of animals, a direct stare is considered a challenge. If you stare down a dog, particularly a male dog, it is considered an act of aggression. Perhaps this instinct is still there in humans, but we learn to modify it as we become acculturated, and some children are less able to do that. | |
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Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 59 | |
| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 9/26/2008 9:45:28 AM | Ideoform ^^^
It is only creepy when you don't understand what you are dealing with.
Rest assured I did not understand what I was dealing with when I met the individual. If had understood I wouldn't have posted this thread in the first place.
I don't think I was testing the man. While I most certainly did not stare at the man, I wanted to make eye contact, even if only for a moment. Remember the meeting was in my home, where I have the right to feel secure and comfortable, and I wasn't feeling that at all.
Perhaps he did have Asperger's, and/or other afflictions.
I suspect others will have benefited from this discussion as well, for if they ever have such an eye-aversion encounter as I did they might have a better understanding of what they might be dealing with. | |
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| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 9/26/2008 3:29:10 PM | I went on a "meet", a POFer with whom there was a huge on-line attraction. He lived some distance, so we talked a lot on the telephone as well before we had a chance to test the chemistry. Although all other aspects of the "meet" went well, very well, in fact, he seemed unable to maintain eye contact for more than a brief moment at any point during the several hours we spent together.
I am big on eye contact. My first date section makes that clear. Before this thread, I had never considered that there may be ailments/disabilities with symptoms I might evaluate as "creepy" ... but I would hope that if this had been the case, I would have been forewarned.
I'm not sure how I would handle this in a business situation (before having this new knowledge). I might well have done the same thing as you, OnchyRinkus. | |
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| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 9/27/2008 7:35:59 PM | | I know this guy at work and he has the worst breath imaginable ,now when he looks me square in the face his breath is traveling in the direction of my nose ,so what I do is turn my head side ways,so it's not quite as bad.In that situation I guess I'm guilty of avoiding eye contact. | |
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| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 10/27/2009 1:13:16 AM | I read in this thread that eye contact is not considered a cultural behaviour yet I would have to disagree.
The following is taken directly out of a cultural sensitivity pamphlet in BC:
Please note that there are many different First
Nations cultures, and the following information is meant to be general in nature, and may or may
not be relevant to each culture. Different cultures and Nations may have different protocols.
Eye Contact- In First Nations culture, it is customary to keep your head down during a
conversation with someone. It is believed that the spirit transcends through your eyes and
thus when two people make eye contact, the spirits do not like it because it causes conflict.
This shows respect and allows for listening, being thoughtful and developing a response. If
your Little Sister or her parent/guardian does not look you in
Additionally, I was involved in a serious relationship with an FN man and he told me that for his culture it was rude to look someone directly in the eye.
I also want to comment since I find it rather interesting that the majority of posters have offered explanations as to why the guest may have avoided eye contact, even giving specific reasons yet no one has said, maybe he was a creep. Gut feelings should always be trusted IMHO (in my humble opinion). Surely we don't have to be so politically correct that we can't acknowledge the fact that the guy may have been an unsafe creep.
As for the smell... I have been in situations where I have been assaulted by the smell from a person (be it body odour, extremely bad breath, et al) and it is indeed an assault and can be very offensive. It is quite natural to be repelled... and does not have to indicate judgement. | |
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| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 10/27/2009 9:13:35 AM | regarding cultural diversity...
while travelling(3 months) in Mexico I was advised NOT to make eye contact with male persons, as it was considered 'an invitation' coming from a female person.
Hard for me to do because I believe in eye contact when I see another person or creature
fibbers...um...ever told someone"come on, you can tell me the Truth"
while they kicked and looked at stones at their feet????(e.g moms and naughty kids)
this is not to say that ALL 'no eye contact' illustrates deceit
I also find it amusing that when someone's cell phone rings, and they answer it, the next thing I see is that they 'look away' from you...and often will deliberately make eye contact during the phone call, as though to say"I'm still here with you"...when, in fact, they aren't, really...
no eye contact when there HAS been eye contact...in this context is maybe not CREEPY, however i might call it rude
(circumstances may differ, so taking it with a grain of salt counts here for me)
and yes...I believe *eyes are the window to the soul*
in VERY rural Mexico, taking a picture of a child was a no-no, because the belief was you could steal their soul(I was told this by a priest.)
adults you could ASK permission to take a photo, and they would respond yes or no, so I assumed the same belief held for them as well.
neat thread, pleasant memories(of Mexico) arose for me.... | |
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| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 10/27/2009 10:33:23 AM | ClassC you can look at me all you want , it might warp you lenses in your glasses . hehe
heavyiron Its the brightness of the bald head like mine that women can't take it . so its not ugliness . LOL
And for me its not creepy when people don't make eye contact, its part of that persons body language. And in the work I do it tells a lot with there words or lack of . To size a person up . | |
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| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 10/27/2009 2:12:48 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^applies baby powder to bear and iron's head liberally....
thereby avoiding the 'warp factor'.... 
yup...grain of salt...coming up!!! | |
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| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 10/27/2009 3:47:22 PM | | Avoiding eye contact is a reaction to me; instinctual and completely involuntary. It's a left over side effect from low self esteem and a desire to avoid conflict. I catch myself every once in a while, realizing that I had been looking just slightly past the head of the person talking to me, even though I was talking to them. I work on it, but even when I focus on making eye contact, I have a tendancy to "drift" and look elsewhere briefly. | |
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| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 10/29/2009 4:09:41 AM | yeah it is but it is important i think to make sure, before judging, that the person involved doesn't just have a glass eye (or two)
if that's not the case, a good hard ringing SLAP usually gets people's attention! LOL!!
The PMS "What the Feck Has Happened to Forums?" Teeth Gnasher 
p.s. even CREEPIER than those who avoid eye contact are those who capitalize every noun in a sentence like some banana republic jefe who has lost contact with basic spelling grammar and syntax as well as modern camera technology!
(love yer muffins!) | |
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| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:07:49 AM | | I tend to distrust people who do not want to give direct eye contact. If they have shifty eyes, it usually means they have something to hide. It may also mean that they are extremely shy and over time will feel more comfortable. If they are like that constantly, then for me it is a red flag of distrust. I feel the same way when someone has a very limp handshake. I was raised to look someone straight in the eye and give them a firm handshake. It shows that you are confident and is a form of respect. | |
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| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:09:33 AM | | nah....cultural stereotype for the most part. If they don't meet your eye, you can't trust em? Given there are so many other reasons for avoiding someone's eye, such as shyness, cultural differences, dislike, feeling emotional...angry or sad, Sometimes people don't look at you because they are having a bad day; hoping you won't notice them, and will hopefully leave them alone. I use conversation and behaviour more than eye contact as a means of discovering trust. And I'm not in a big rush to stand in judgment based on surface appearances. | |
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| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:07:22 AM | It's rather refreshing. Not making eye contact means one less ego to engage. People that make a lot of eye contact scare me. It's like they want to mow over you with who they are, what they think, and how important their opinions are.
People that really have it all together don't need to stare you down. | |
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| It is creepy when people avoid eye contact?
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:24:54 AM | ^^^ Nor do people need to post in such a negative fashion as to pass on the impression of actually being what they accuse others of...
EYE made contact | |
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