| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 8:41:09 AM | Your degree is great. However, you have to realize this is online and it's full of predators - aka golddiggers - so Master's degree equates to MO' MONEY! That kind of woman doesn't care one iota about your intelligence level. She only wants to know the balance in your checkbook, savings account, 401K, IRA's, how much your annuities will pay monthly when you retire, the size of your house, the car you drive, and the contents of your stock portfolio.
You can list you have a degree, but I would state in the profile portion exactly what you want to attract, what kind of person you want and do state, like you did on this thread, you aren't looking down on anyone, but you feel compelled to settle for less. | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 8:42:34 AM | Hey that even goes back to high school. When you're the ''smart girl'' you're often ignored. That's not the type of girl that guys want to be with. I had a crush on a football player in high school. He liked me but eventually the ''popular kids'' let him know that wouldn't fly. The funny thing was...that I've never been able to be pigeon holed into a ''label''...so while I was smart, I was also a majorette in band. But still I wasn't a ''cool'' kid due to my good grades and my ''nice girl'' ways.
It's not much different now, sad to say.
I went on a date once with a guy who said about Jesssica Simpson. "I love her. She's so dumb. It just makes you want to protect her and take care of her."
Is this normal male thinking???? | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 8:48:28 AM | I have many degrees and I was the "smart girl" in school and was never ignored because I have an outgoing personality. People liked my intelligence since it got them through classes they needed tutoring in. Everybody just knew I was smart. Nothing was ever specifically asked like it is online. This online dating scenario leaves many doors open for acceptance or rejection on many different levels.
Before today, I had listed my accomplishments on my profile and deleted all of it!!! WHY? Because men were e-mailing and talking to me on Yahoo IM acting stupid and dumb-downing themselves. "What does that mean?" "What is this word?" That level of ignorance and immaturity in middle-aged men was seriously offensive and beneath me. I completely understand Mish's apprehensions and issues. | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 9:05:55 AM |
Whoa, are you saying men prefer women that don't have an education?
That if I see a woman that has a Ph.d or masters, I would prefer another woman that just has a 4 year or just high school diploma?
i think the idea here is that some (not all or most, before you all jump down my throat) men might find the idea of contacting or dating a woman more educated than they are to be intimidating........i guess in the same way that some people think "he" should be taller than "she" is, or he should make more money than "her"
I DO NOT THINK THIS, before i start getting bashed.........i am saying that there are some male egos out there that would probably not do well with a woman who has more letters after her name or more dollars in her paycheck than he does
personally, i can't see myself dating someone who thinks that way, so if that's really a "dealbreaker" or "ego issue" for a man who looks at my profile, its better if he moves right along anyway | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 9:34:45 AM |
b) Think that all I want to do is discuss obscure authors of the 19th century while sipping on Cognac and looking down on the world at "the other class" ...
Hey, what good is an advanced degree if you can't do that?
Ever read Gissing...? 
From wikipedia...
"Between 1891 and 1897 (his so-called middle period) Gissing produced his best works, which include New Grub Street, Born in Exile, The Odd Women, In the Year of Jubilee, and The Whirlpool. In advance of their time, they variously deal with the growing commercialism of the literary market, religious charlatanism, the situation of emancipated women in a male-dominated society, the poverty of the working classes, and marriage in a decadent world."
Highly recommended!
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 10:12:17 AM |
I went on a date once with a guy who said about Jesssica Simpson. "I love her. She's so dumb. It just makes you want to protect her and take care of her."
Is this normal male thinking????
God no!!!! Unless the guy is an idiot himself. None of my male friends that have an ounce of good sense think this way.
Just...Wow. | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 10:23:10 AM | | ladies,you are missing the point here.the point isnt to attract more women.the point is to attract women with the bait that will get the best results.there are many ways to live a motivated life,getting a degree is just one of them.if its ne i want to remove the possability of someone contacting me who wouldnt have had i not been university educated.the only way to do that is not list it.i can always make it known to the person i have found to be what i am looking for later.i just wouldnt want it to be known right away. | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 10:23:26 AM | OP,
Do you really want to attract someone who's put off or intimidated by a lousy master's degree?
Besides, I've always thought Spock was kinda sexy | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 10:25:01 AM | You can list you have a degree, but I would state in the profile portion exactly what you want to attract, what kind of person you want and do state, like you did on this thread, you aren't looking down on anyone, but you feel compelled to settle for less.
if only this worked..it doesnt. | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 10:35:16 AM | fyi, for those interested in this topic, there's a good thread running under "relationships" called "is intelligence a curse in relationships??"
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 10:37:04 AM | I also want to clear up something. I work in the coparate IT world. Meeting a woman with smarts and a degree is a BIG plus.
I know Jessica Simpson is pretty, but none of my co-worker would want to hook up with her. | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 12:50:56 PM | | Why would you want to hide the fact that you committed to something and accomplished a goal? Those are two things that I look for in a man and would think that showing someone that you are proud of yourself is not a bad thing. Goodluck with your search. | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 1:16:34 PM | Why would you want to hide the fact that you committed to something and accomplished a goal? Those are two things that I look for in a man and would think that showing someone that you are proud of yourself is not a bad thing. Goodluck with your search
i cant speak for this fellow but,here it goes
before i met my honey(who i met on here).i had an idea of what i was looking for.iwanted someone who put little emphasis on looks.so i put up unflatering pics of myself.
i wanted someone with an open mind.so i said i was seperated,even though i was divorced.
i was looking for someone whome money was of little concern.so i made no mention of employment in my profile.
i didnt do this right away,but when i did i found that the messages i got were more of my liking. | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 1:22:28 PM | There is another potential issue here. People can search based on the "Smarts" category. I don't know if anyone actually does, but the feature is there.
So, one part of the question is do you think you'd prefer to meet women who:
1. Might exclude Master's Degree from their searches and/or close your profile as soon as they see you have one.
2. Might exclude High School/NA from their searches and/or close you profile as soon as they found the Smarts category blank.
Trying to figure out what type of women are in each category and why is a messy analysis ripe with stereotypes, so I'll not wade further into it right now.
My advice is to keep it in there.
If there was a separate "prefer not to say" category I might strongly consider choosing it.
As it is now, however, the NA category is combined with the "High School" category. Some people you would truly be interested in meeting might exclude you based on the assumption you didn't or "just" finished high school whereas if the "prefer not to say" category was separate they might at least look at the profile in more depth. (strong emphasis on the MIGHT there ;).
On the whole though, I don't think it's worth worrying too much about. | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:00:22 PM |
fyi, for those interested in this topic, there's a good thread running under "relationships" called "is intelligence a curse in relationships??"
There's a difference between intelligence and education. They are not at all the same thing.
As for "Masters Degree" attracting golddiggers . . . I know a lot of unemployed and underemployed Ph.D.s College degree does not equate to a higher income. A union construction job can pay better than a lot of jobs that require college degrees.
If you're looking for someone equally intelligent, don't assume that if they don't have a similar level of education that they aren't at a similar level of intelligence. I've only got a few credits of college yet have had a lot of friends with Ph.D.s in neurobiology and can hold my own in any conversation with them on a variety of subjects. My education has come from other sources. I've spent 130 hours in an anatomy lab with an M.D. who teaches anatomy at a prestigious university, I'm world travelled, I used to be moderately fluent in Spanish and currently speak Italian well enough to spend weeks with relatives who speak no English. I'm well read and up on current events. I love intellectually stimulating conversation. However, I don't have a degree from any college or university.
Look for the qualities you find attractive in a woman and don't assume they will only come in a particular package. | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:53:34 PM | | I'm proud of my education. If somebody somehow thinks it is a liability, I'm sure I can find somebody else who will think it is an asset. | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:57:15 PM |
Your degree is great. However, you have to realize this is online and it's full of predators - aka golddiggers - so Master's degree equates to MO' MONEY! That kind of woman doesn't care one iota about your intelligence level. She only wants to know the balance in your checkbook, savings account, 401K, IRA's, how much your annuities will pay monthly when you retire, the size of your house, the car you drive, and the contents of your stock portfolio.
It's alright as long as she understands that it's easy to spot a woman like that and then I don't care what happens the morning after  | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 5:00:01 PM | I just want to thank everyone for their input - the reasoning on both sides is pretty solid. For now, I think that I will leave it designating Masters degree because:
1) As mentioned, whatever you do on these boards are going to attract some and detract others. Thus, you might as well just be who you are.
2) The more I thought about it, I came to the realization that if I (and people that are like me) hide behind "N/A", all women (and other people) will see are the arrogant snobs that have Masters degrees. Thus, in a round-about way, all I would be doing is perpetuating a stereotype. Thus, it's a small price to pay to help debunk a myth. Thus, the best thing that I can do is to lead by example - to be the anti-stereotype.
Personally, I just want to put out there that I've always considered a smart woman to be very sexy.  | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 5:04:03 PM | 1) As mentioned, whatever you do on these boards are going to attract some and detract others. Thus, you might as well just be who you are.
no one is saying you are not being who you are.there is nothing wrong with increasing your odds of getting message from the right people.i do agree that"rather not say"would be the best option. | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 5:12:51 PM |
no one is saying you are not being who you are.there is nothing wrong with increasing your odds of getting message from the right people.i do agree that"rather not say"would be the best option.
I guess that I didn't word that correctly; what I meant to say is to just list who you are. By putting N/A, you can be who you are - but like women have noted in this thread, some think it is a wonderful asset that would encourage them to respond, and some don't. It really is a mixed bag - and I would agree with some that it probably is much ado about nothing. It hasn't been something that I have been panicking about - it's just something that has been coming to mind as I drive to work each day - something that makes you go, "Hmmm." At any rate, I really wish they would change the name from "Smarts" to "Education" ... | |
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isoU
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Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 48 | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 5:52:45 PM |
Sadly, for a woman in a "dating world" education is often a liability.
Whoa, are you saying men prefer women that don't have an education?
That if I see a woman that has a Ph.d or masters, I would prefer another woman that just has a 4 year or just high school diploma?
I'm not tracking on what you are saying.
I think she is saying that some men (not you, obvs) are intimidated by intelligent, accomplished women.
Likewise, some women will think they are not good enough for a man who has a masters degree. I say, to hell with those women, OP. You worked hard for that degree, and it is part of who you are. Post it and be proud. | |
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| Should I really list my Masters Degree
Posted: 7/25/2008 5:55:08 PM | Naahh, don't post your degree, because ladies will wonder why you stopped short of the doctorate.
Just put in your description that you're "educated" then depending on who contacts you, you can play it up to impress her if she hasn't got a degree, but be all self-deprecating if she's got way better credentials than you. | |
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