| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 8:42:41 AM | Whether it's a shallow reason to ditch someone, doesn't matter. The fact is, you weren't cool with it. So, he's not the man the for ya. You have every right to decide what your dealbreakers are, what you want in your life and what you don't. A fanny pack it is. lol
I like the plaid skirt. | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 9:03:28 AM | I'm with Mr. Happy Pants
We can all pretend we aren't shallow in some way but we all have dealbreakers!! For me it would be sweatpants and/or velcro shoes on a date...mainly because it would remind me of my dad!! | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 9:34:22 AM | OP - I've never understood why they call them "fanny" packs, certainly you can't sit on it. Go figure. Don't know if it's tacky, for me, it wouldn't be a deal breaker. Now, if my date showed up with a purse, for me that's a deal breaker.  | |
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iris43
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Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 104 | |
| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 9:36:43 AM | I'm not sure if it would have bothered me or not.....if he had a great confident attitude and didn't a rats azz what people thought then perhaps I wouldn't have cared either.
If he was great guy and their was an attraction I don't think it would have been a deal breaker. | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 10:09:43 AM | One last item BTW,
Being in healthcare to some extent, I wonder if the OP is aware that most people who require or use a insulin pump carry them in a fanny pack. It is generally where the line is located and they are able to go out in public with alot less stares and judgements for people seeing the particular medical device. That would totally put a different spin on why the gentleman was out while wearing this fashion "mistake". If so, he really was a good egg at being out with OP and taking all her comments with a grain of salt.
Did he have a massive sugar laden desert at the end of your date, might be a clue. . . | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 11:47:09 AM | | Hey - I know exactly where you are coming from. I met a man last year that wore socks with his sandals. Nooooooooooooooooo I couldnt get past it. Some things are just not done. | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 11:49:09 AM | Guys figure out your deal breakers are and go with it.
But if the only thing you hate is a fanny pack... just go buy him one you like.
You can re-dress a guy.. Just be gently, kind, be presuaive, be sneaky, make him think it is his idea. Do is slow, many of us hate change.... slow steady changes... :)
If this is the only thing, strike a deal. I will change one thing and you change one thing. Make sure they are madly in love with you and take your fanny pac back.
One you are madly in love a fanny pac is nothing.   | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 11:54:05 AM | no, i get it.
we all get it, really. i honestly believe we all have a couple of little things like that we can't get over or look past...
me?
it's socks and sandals.
or grey tube socks.
or black socks with shorts.
they're all just so....wrong.
a | |
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iris43
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Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 110 | |
| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 12:30:16 PM | Ok a couple of things I couldn't get past would be
Yes socks and sandals
Sweat pants with the elastic at the ankles.... not even around the house is ok...NO WAY
Jeans with sneakers where the tongue of the sneaker is half way up the pant leg....again never in a million years. | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 12:56:09 PM | I can relate to the OP- the fanny pack represents the kind of person the guy is- a kind of person who just isn't going to mesh well with her in the long run- that's the point.
She cares about how a guy carries himself and how he keeps up with his appearance and shows himself to the world. She wants someone modern and put together.
Her date makes a point of NOT caring about what is currently hip and may rock the fanny pack to show his disdain for a world obsessed with style (or he may just be clueless).
One does wonder if he would have shown up for the next date in those printed surfer pants from the early 90's that look like pajama bottoms and a bandana.
Me- I wouldn't go for either of these types. I'm not attracted to the suit guys/GQ guys. I need the salt of the earth, ultra masculine dude who pretty much lives in jeans and t-shirts when he's not out fighting fires or going to Brazillian ju-jitsu classes.
It's just about knowing who you're compatible with and attracted to. It doesn't make her shallow, just makes her realistic. | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 1:10:16 PM | | In England we call them bum bags, but what ever title you give it ....no way would I be seen out with someone wearing one, especially if as you suggest he failed to get it when you were trying to dissuade him from wearing it. I'm probably shallow too, but hey ho!!!! | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 1:40:52 PM | No, you were not too shallow! OMG...a fanny pack? I had a date show up in a Smokey the Bear t-shirt, cut off jeans, TUBE socks and sneakers once!
Sorry, I already taught four sons how to dress and stay up on fashion, I dont' need another one....too much work!
Not to mention the embarassment!
I am impressed with the joke you came up with...you go girl! | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 1:50:27 PM | | Oh come on people!!! The guy wore a theme park/tourist accessory to a nice resturant...on a 1st date! Now, unless that resturant was in Epcot, The Magic Kingdom, Six Flags or any other place like that and he was also wearing a Hawaiian shirt and sandals, it's a HUGE faux pas. I'm betting this is not the 1st time he's been faced with someone having an issue with his "fanny", nor will it be his last. | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 2:02:51 PM | | I use a fanny pack when my back or shoulder is bothering me. It is ok to take care of yourself by not stressing out your body. Give me his number. | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 2:14:39 PM | That's a riot!
I would not be caught dead wearing a fanny pack. I always figured these guys might as well carry a purse (very gay).
When I first moved to Las Vegas I could not get over how many men wore tons of jewelry and how many others wore fanny packs. It seems to be accepted out there.
But I do like to go out in high heels sometimes, what guy doesn't? | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 2:23:03 PM | At first glance, rejecting someone because he wears a fanny pack may seem shallow, but really there's more to it than that. Think about it like this: what does the fact that he wore a fanny pack tell you about his personality? It shows he lacks basic social skills - specifically, he doesn't understand and therefore can't conform to simple rules of fashion. He's totally out of touch with the world around him. It would be different if he understood that wearing a fanny pack was uncool and he did it anyway because he's a rebel and he doesn't care what other people think of him, but from what you've said it's obvious that he's just plain oblivious to what other people think. He just doesn't "get it". Wearing a fanny pack is surely just the tip of the iceberg.
I think it's completely reasonable to want to be with someone who understands his own culture and the people around him, someone who's socially aware, someone who notices what's going on around him. A person who fails to understand how he relates to the rest of the world is unlikely to be able to relate well to you. Rejecting him was not too shallow. It was good common sense. | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 2:23:27 PM | CUPID...I think you are right..It would turn me off too.. some people don,t make an effort at all to dress well..anyways I am sure there is someone for him out there..who is rally into fanny packs.. | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 2:51:02 PM | To each their own where personal preferences lie, so nothing wrong with that. Whether a fanny pack is a deal-breaker for everyone or not, it obviously was for the OP and that's her choice. I probably would have given the guy a second chance myself, simply because it's a removable object after all, but that's just me.
I think (no offence) I would have handled it a bit differently though. I mean, the guy shows up for a date that he was probably looking forward to very much as well, and then gets teased right off the bat. Okay, so one little joke isn't the end of the world...but would anyone really want to be harped at for the rest of the evening and basically insulted, after that? (The OP did say she made subsequent comments along the same line for the rest of the evening). The guy must have been a pretty fair sport on some level, cause that seems a little socially gauche to me as well, to do that to a relative stranger. But, that's JMO. | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 3:20:58 PM | | You're not abandoned by cupid. It's just that everytime he comes around, you probably make fun of his wings and those little diapers he wears. A fanny pack IS hella funny, I'll give you that, especially for a nice restuarant. However your 'comments' about his fanny pack was most likely translated as critisisms,and not jokes, or whatever you were going after. Oh yeah, and continuing to make crack at him through the date....real classy. Fanny packs were tacky to me back in the day when everybody had one, but clowning someone who thought enough of you to want to meet you in person is REALLY tacky. Not only were you shallow in this instance, but a little self absorbed also. Another really attractive trait to have by the way. Hate to say it but, that's why you don't have a man now. But wait... I know why...There aren't enough good men out there. Right? Wrong! That's just what women say when they're so self absorbed that they cant accept responsibility for their own part in EVERY relationship they're in. Every guy is not goin to be a keeper,thats unrealistic. But every guy can't be wrong either. That's just as unrealistic. I'm not saying fanny pack boy was going to be the one for you, but you didn't even give him a chance after you saw him. You probably have met 'Mr. Right' dozens of times, and dismissed him because of some minor detail that your shallowness wouldn't allow you to grow beyond. You said that he took a'beautiful' pic, and that you had awesome rapport over the phone. It seems like you threw the baby out w/ the bath water. Makes me think how many more times you've done the exact same thing. Don't you think men have had to overlook some stuff you did, said, wore, didn't wear... etc. in the past? You are an attractive young lady so I know dudes are always pushing up on you. I know that most of them you have to push away , because some of 'em ain't right. A lady HAS GOT to have standards, and you're entitled to your own. But you seriously might want to consider getting over yourself a little bit hun. Sounds like you're doing too much. | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 3:31:24 PM |
You're not abandoned by cupid. It's just that everytime he comes around, you probably make fun of his wings and those little diapers he wears.
Hee hee!
This thread was really quite a surprise to me, seeing how many people thought the act of wearing a fanny pack would be a deal-breaker, although I did see a few others besides me and the Kount voting otherwise. Maybe it comes down to perceived choice--if you think you can do better and don't have to "settle" until every last detail is perfect, you're perfectly willing to brush aside an otherwise suitable man whose fashion style raises your eyebrows.
As one other poster said, the fanny pack is detachable. For my deal-breakers I'd focus more on traits that are ingrained, like lying.
--Ms. Flis | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 3:42:10 PM | | Wow, that's like a Seinfeld episode premise. Doesn't really get much more shallow... What'd fanny packs ever do to you? | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 3:49:54 PM | mmhmm (clearing my throat)... Okay. For him the bag was not a removable object because he let me know that he is moved to wear that object all of the time (remember the comment about this being who he is).
In regards to the joking... It wasn't harsh. We were exchanging jokes at each other's expense all night. Much of it racially fueled as I am black and he is Jewish. Swinging from both sides. That was one of the reasons we related to each other so well. We knew they were jokes. When I would joke about 'fanny' he wouldn't laugh because he sees nothing wrong with it. At the end of the night he would have been perfectly happy moving forward with the relationship.
It's not as if he was dressed like a Calvin Klein model + a fanny pack. The fanny pack is only an indication. It is more of a fundamental difference that we both recognized in the end.
And as far as saying there are no good men out here... if you read farther back in the thread, I wrote, 'there are alot of good men out there but not everyone of them is for me.'
I'm not, generally, a rude person but every one has habits. My humor is somewhat Dave Chappellean. That won't change. I do need a man who can handle that.
As far as why I'm single... no comment  | |
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| He brought his Fanny with him...
Posted: 7/26/2008 4:53:37 PM | re the Opost:
"...We went to an extremely trendy restuarant. Me with an embarrassed smile. Him with a pack named Fanny on the front of his belt. ..."
Now, as some of us know, there is trendy and then there is trendy, meaning that trendy is one day and not the next. But trendy is also a tad synonymous with the so called "fashion victim" syndrome. So unless the OP knew the people in there, assuming that a belt pack aka pouch is as lame in the fashion faux and faux pas in the particular area/locale, why would she be forced to carry an "embarrassed smile"? So the date was not either trophy or blending with the crowd, but so what? Is that the point? Maybe it is!
Was it the crowd that disapproved of the pack or merely the pack carrier's date? Food for thought. For one thing, the guy has baulls! And aa sense of humor.
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) I think I'd do better with the OP's tuxedo shirt, I think she could pull that off. 
