| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/18/2005 11:44:20 AM | Good Sunday to all you barn dwellers 
Oral gratification
A taste so deeeeeeeevine
Explosions quite orgasmic
Stuff running down your chin
Eyes closed in pleasure
Licking, licking your lips
For Sunday brunch
There is nothing better
Than Eggs Benedict!
OK whoose mind went into a freefall there?????
 | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/18/2005 2:46:27 PM | Lordy Lordy
The Lard is tardy
He couldn't shift his Lardy a$$
Maybe he's been smokin' grass
I think his pearls of wisdom
Like teeth,
Will be biting
Where ARE you Oh Lardiness???? | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/18/2005 2:55:45 PM | Sorry I'm late...things and stuff happened and then some more things and then my pants fell off and then I got stuck in the bathroom and then...
But none of that matters now...let's get down to it.
Hello Pickles-dear...good to see you again warming up the crowd during this too-long delay of mine. Yer hilarious and I think I just come here to see you rather than spew out my words.
Dragon! Why it's awful good to see you here in the Barn. I abolsutely agree with you about Pickles..she slays me. I'm careful to not drink anything when I read her words because it will end up on the monitor.
Welcome to Violettestarr...good to have you here and all poems are welcome here. The Barn is a great place to hang out and read about almost any subject. Too bad it isn't indexed, though, because it's hard to find what you're looking for in here. Then again, you find a lot of things you weren't looking for. Good to meet you and don't be a stranger, eh?
Okay...the sermon..please rise, please sit, pat you tummy and rub your head -- or is that the other way around? Ah...er...uhm..well...let's move on:
===========================
Psalm 13 – The Book of Goat
Oh, Holy Crap
The malls and stores are far too busy
Despite being open darn near
24 hours a day
The lines are longer than
A Monday morning pee
Shoppers wander in, hunt for bargains
Ask Gawdawfulstoopid questions
Like:
“What sort of game is suitable for a twelve year old boy?”
Which they would then purchase
Or
Depending on the slickness of the
Minimum-wage paid salesperson
Continue hunting
Or
Simply leave the store
Now, Thy Lard isn’t much better
He doth fail at shopping
And has no clue what to buy and give
During this holiest time of year
But at He doth not dare asketh
Gawdawfulstoopid questions
And neither do most men
Because
If they do
Their penises will drop off
And burst into flame
So, we leave the women
To do the asking
And they’re more than ready to
The men shall stand nearby
Gaze at something
Completely uninteresting
And pretend they do no know
Their own wives
If only for an instant
While The Question
(or Questions)
Are asked
Erhm…where was Thy Lard again?
Ah…
Stay home, menfolk
Rejoice in the solitude
Whilst the wives Do Battle
The beer is cold and the fire is warm
Thy pants will lie down with the socks
And happiness will warm thee
Amen
============================
Alrighty! There ye be! Sorry I was so late today and doubly sorry I have to take off. The ribs are on and the beer is geting warm. Breathing is about to make the side dishes. The lady can cook, let me tells ya.
Okay..be good. See you tomorrow. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/19/2005 7:01:08 PM | Hi Goat. Hi peoples.
Oh, hi daily poem:
======================
Fat in Sixty Seconds
Too many Turtles were consumed tonight
The path followed is so established:
Hand to mouth
Mouth to expanding stomach
Hand to box again
Repeating…always repeating
Even when the beer ran dry
And the scotch evaporated
The Turtles were still there
In their caramel smugness
Wrapped in foil finery
Chocolate to the touch
Oh, they do mock, those shapeless
Sweet things
They can’t run without legs
Nor see without heads and eyes
Actually, they don’t look
Like turtles at all
But let’s get that cycle going again
We’ll eat them all
And let God sort them out
=======================
Oh, hello good night wishes. Good night! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/19/2005 7:21:36 PM | The Goat aka His Lardiness
(While in all fairness I sympathise)
Seems Jaded
His Bah Humbug factor
Is at an all time high
I on the other hand
Am in Panic mode...
No BH factor here...
Just pure unadulterated fear
Crimble is here
And I still have not
Got
My shopping done
Nor have I hung
My Stockings
Shocking
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/19/2005 7:22:00 PM | Holiday greetings to the barn and all its dwellers!!!
Well the holidays are here again
It’s time for all the fun
Cooking, cleaning, and eating
I can’t wait for it to be done
All the shopping
All the running around
This year is different
Home, I’ll be bound
No traffic jams
No endless ride
I’ll be staying warm
Right here inside
So as you all
Are never stopping
I’ll be here
On my couch just flopping
Sam | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/19/2005 7:45:38 PM | Hello all,,,,
Misterez - - Your words speak to the meaning of life, ya gotta love Monty Python
Rory - - Merry ho ho ho, see you on your return to POF
Pickles - - Your writes keep me going, my friend…..Bless you
Violettestarr - - The barn is a grand old place, tis good to see new words here. Hope to see you back soon.
Mari_Sam - - Hi ya, good to see you!! Yup, the holidays are here and we are looking forward to a quiet Christmas day, at home… lots of food, a bit a rum ‘n’ eggnog and a touch of snow.
DragonN - - Good to see you wander in the barn! Watch out for Goat droppings…
Sweet Smelly Goat - - The gift of your words and your heart, inspire me daily…
~~
Evening thoughts
Between
Sips of scotch
Words
Spun with ease
Moments
Settling in the trees
~~
Sweet Dreams to all, and to all a good night | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/19/2005 7:46:39 PM | Feliz Navidad
I want everything
You never had
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
But the Food Bank can kiss my a$$
One wonders at the dichotomy
You have more
Than him or me
Peace on Earth and Goodwill
Should be dispensed in a pill
I'm amazed at the reasons
People call this the Festive Season | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/20/2005 6:31:06 PM | Hello all...hello Pickles and Mari. And the lovely Breathing stopped in for a bit -- good to see you m'dear.
Just a post and run tonight, but you guys brought a smile to my hairy face tonight. Thanks very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very much!
The poem? Yuh:
======================
Smells Like Pine Spirit
Christmas is upon us soon
The lady on the radio said
It sounded like an ominous, sucking thing
That will leave some financially dead
Christmas can be a wonderful time
Where one can eat and be merry
You can watch overplayed movies on TV
And get sick on maraschino cherries
This holiday will have a few silent nights
Doors locked, we will drink holiday grog
I will eat far too many Mandarin Oranges
And will make my own Yule Log
==========================
Fun Fact: Most of my yule logs are orange...go figure.
Otay...I shall return tomorrow, eh? G'night you crazy critters! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/20/2005 6:34:24 PM | said so long he's gone but he'll be back again yet it still feels like i lost a friend,
did you ever hear the saying bros befor ho's when we was together this was how it goes though just best of friends we tied all are ends the journys on pause how long that depends
think of the good times we had in the past god dam G we had a blast down at the club or at some shity pub we always had fun cause we always showed love 2 oneanother and all the ****es thanks for the help when we ran into lifes glitches
this life is like a journey that were all among its like that song that aint yet been sung this is for children and daddys with guns this is for kids with poor welfare mum's time loseses its edge but it will not stop me cause i am a trooper sent to do this shit properly
so pass down the fame an fortune cause its only something your going to be scorchin look at all the ppl with less than you these the ****in ppl that invest in you and only a true trooper can pass the test and invest his best to the rest with less
are these ppl my friends are they even my bro's stuck all alone on my way to reload while i reup my friends play the duct short on cash but i'm the only one stuck i'll always help a friend in need then they assume i'm the hand that feeds
an I'm out thanks | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/20/2005 6:57:43 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
@ Macudre
OK dude
You got a beef...puhlease..air it somewhere else
Open your own thread or something....
I read this several times already on other threads.....
Thanks dude | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/20/2005 7:10:51 PM | Hiya Barn Dwellers!!!!
Yep Pickels, I agree, Billboarding is not allowed!!!!! And tiresome too!!!
Sam | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/20/2005 7:20:21 PM | Scrotal Surgery
Is a testament to mascochism
Why would a man permit
This sadistic sh*it
Are kids worth it?????
Yeah...learning curve!!!! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/21/2005 5:24:35 PM | Urgh...feel sick today...kinda gross...and it wasn't something I ate. Must be the holiday stress (I thought I was immune) or the work stress (and I really thought I was immune to that).
Either way..bleah...
Hello to Pickles and Mari and to the winner of the Billboarding Fellership award..whasisname..starts with an "m". It'll come to me later.
Okay..a poem..let's see..something spontaneous...
====================
A Glassful, Please
Oh, how I had a tot of rum today
A bit to clear out the sinuses
It's power held me sway
In all it's plusses and minuses
It is down to its last tiny dram
And that is a true pity
It hit me like a Dodge Ram
And I no longer feel shitty
=======================
Ta da! Deep bow -- and I'm arf to sleep. G'night. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/22/2005 4:48:27 PM | Hi goat..hi barn...
Hello everypeoples. A quickie and a tot off to bed...sick and tired today in teh literal sense.
Let's try something spontaneous....
=================
Sleep is like a train
Roll into position and
Wait for the slumber
===================
There. I sleep now. G'night. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/23/2005 5:44:52 AM | Hello everyone..
Yes I am alive for those of you who were wondering..lol..been out of town and busy..
Hope everyone is well and ready for the holiday season that is upon us....and I hope you have wonderful memories and lots of good times.....
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY FELLOW BARN DWELLERS......
I hope to be around more in the new year,maybe will be more creative...
Anyway.....huggssssssss and kissses to all....
 
Miz | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/23/2005 6:02:13 PM | Hey Miz...good to see you heah
We miss ya girl.....
Have a great one
To barnies and wanna be's
To followers of the Lard
A merry and happy and prosperous from me
To all the followers of the word
May you fart with abandon
May you laugh out loud
May you find happiness
And if not.....
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
Too bad!
hey all y'all
MERRY MERRY
| |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 2593 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/23/2005 6:31:32 PM | Just wandering quietly around doing Dragon type things
Thought I would drop in
Thankyou to everyone
I look back at the last year and see the changes
Most are so good
Many can be attributed to the welcome I recieved here
I did my best not to set fire to my bale, and kept my resolution not to eat Goats this year
Many are not mentioned here
Yet I remember, have no fear
Rory masterful with words
satire often but not absurd
Pickles with acidic wit
shows she really cares a bit
Mari as twins is hard to beat
Miz can cook us up a treat
Breathings verse so delicate
Envy in my thoughts on that
Capra Hercus; wily; wise
Reflected knowledge in those eyes
He welcomed us into his barn
In here he keeps us safe and warm
All the best to everyone
..
.
  
..
. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/23/2005 7:21:43 PM | Season's Greasings to all. Hello to Miz, Pickles and Longte. How're you, you old dragon? Been ages since I've seen you here in this old barn.
Thanks for the poem -- Capra Hercus? I did a search for that term since my Latin is terrible (apart from a handful of legal terms, but "Habeus Corpus" doesn't come up in general conversation). But I found this:
"The feral goat has established populations in a variety of habitats across Australia.
It competes with native fauna and causes land degradation, ..."
The Feral Goat. I think I'm mildly domesticated at times...Breathing helps me an awful lot with adapting to civilization these days.
Heh heh...love the poems...you guys are tremendous! Bigger than huge! More wonderful than having a November BBQ on the deck, in fact.
But..a poem..let's see...
============================
Away with the Mange
Oh, that Great Time is upon is
Like a great, lumbering beast
That has stopped and stayed still
To cure like festering yeast
The Silly Season is closing
With the last of two final shows
Christmas and New Years
The Christian calendar's twin body blows
I can barely remember the last one
That Christmas of two-thousand four
Who posted what and when and why
And who simply peeked in the door
On this, two days before, I thank
Those who have stayed to spin a yarn:
Kobold, Rory, Miz, Breathing, Pickles, Sukari
Rory and that Dragon in this here barn
If I forgot you, please don't despair
Don't gnash your teeth and moan and dismay
I'd have included you if you rythmically fit
Alas, the poem must have its way
So, to the festivities that await
We must not drag our feet and tarry
We must press on to meet the days
Oh, I almost forgot Mari....
I think a ll have been greeted
So Let's have a wee cheer
It is the twenty third of December
And I shall have a beer
=================================
Happy December 23rd, you all! Wal-Mart is open 24 hours today and the commercial madness reigns this small city. The flatlanders are helpless against it's bargains. I mean where else can you get a four DVD pack of bad Kung Fu movies for $7.99?
Anh?
I mean besides the Salvation Army or the pawn shop?
Anh?
Okay...sleep on that mighty question. See you tomorrow....g'night! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/24/2005 4:14:14 PM | This Is It
The Halls are decked
The gay apparel has been donned
And we’re all away in a manger
Because Santa Claus is coming to town
There’s no more reindeer games
Hark, the herald angels did sing
Fall on your knees
Glory to the newborn King
The three ships will sail in and dock
Meet with the maids a-milkin
The geese a-laying
And all those leaping lords
So, bring us some figgy pudding
On this
O, Holy Night
Merry Christmas POF, Barn Dwellers and other swell fellers and fine folk around. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/24/2005 8:34:32 PM | Christmas greetings to all of you… posters and lurkers alike…
Pickles/ Rory/ Sulakri/ Mari_Sam/ Miz/ Longte - - Y’all make this place a swell place to hang my words.
And the Goat ~ ~ Tis You I thank ~ ~ For building such a fine barn and inspiring us all….Merry Christmas Sweet Goat … I am blessed to share this life with you!
~~
The eve of Christmas
A time of reflection
Memories of the year past
We stand watching
Days rustle in the breeze
Weeks seep from roots
Months fall from branches
Moments of history are told
As two thousand and five
Makes way for six
Another year passes
With resolutions made
We make our way into the future
Vowing
We’ll do better than before
Not releazing
This is the better we’ve hope for
This moment
We call now
~~
Sweet dreams...May Santa treat you all well!!!
G'Night | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/24/2005 9:08:59 PM | MERRY MERRY MERRY
I have decked and FaLaLa'd
Now at last I'm ready
To stuff and get stuffed
To rip apart paper.and oooh and aaah
To give thanks for friends and family
Some near some far.
Take care y'all
Hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Pickles | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/24/2005 9:10:17 PM | Goat, Breathing, and all dwellers of the barn,
Merry Christmas!!!!!!
Now I'm off to play santa
The night is getting long
Lets just hope I don't get caught
Singing a Christmas song!!!!!!
Night all!!!!!!
Sam | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/24/2005 11:04:34 PM | Merry Christmas my friends!
Tis the time of year,
To let joy be unfurled,
To those far and near,
Unto each corner of the world.
Love thy fellow man,
Forgive transgression,
And do the best you can,
To show love not aggression.
For only in love,
Will true joy be found,
And only in love,
Will peace on earth abound.
For we are all one,
Black, yellow, and white,
So love to everyone,
Merry christmas and goodnight!
~Kobold~ | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/25/2005 12:08:13 PM | And Merry Christmas to all. The turkey is in the oven and the sweet taters are getting prepped as I write this.
Oh, Thy Lard did call me this morning and said the sermon will not be happening today. He's taking the next couple of days off. However, the goat will be here tomorrow.
And it wouldn't be like me to not leave at least a little haiku before getting back to them taters.
================
The holidays here
In this honest, humble home
Is quiet -- no kids
=================
A special Happy Ho-Ho to Pickles and Mari and...Kobold. Hugs and handshakes, eh?
Tomorrow, then. | |
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