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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/31/2005 9:00:52 AM | Today, I became a man. No, really. Just today I received a POF message (from someone who's identity will remain anonymous) stating that I'm a player.
The Goat is a player. Soak that in. Feels kinda cool, really. I just want my babes and my bling and be all up in ons, yo.
I don't which player position it is but, in baseball terms, I could be a shortstop. Or maybe the backcatcher?
But, I digress...I'll give you the background stuff. This is the message I received last night:
===============================
"thanks for the laugh your still comming on here so she isnt that special...altho all the guys on this site are the same it seems..."
==============================
Ah, you can smell the rum and egg-nog in every syllable can't you? I could be mean and say that it's the prescription drugs, but I have no proof of that and I'll try to not be too mean today. After all, I have a reputation of being a reasonable person. Well, most days, I suppose.
I responded to her with a message of my own:
====================================
"Yup...most of the people (guys and gals) are the same. I come here for the poetry, to maintain contact and to generally keep
my meagre writing skills reasonably sharp.
As for Breathing...well, she's here with me as well. And she is very special. We spend almost every waking moment together...whether it's reading, biking, walking or just hanging out. I have never met anyone with which I have so much in common with.
There are many purposes to a site like this. Finding a fish is just one of them.
Good luck in the pond.
GS"
=====================================
I thought that was reasonable. But then, a steaming load of good stuff landed in my POF mailbox:
===================================
"theres better places to keep up the poetry and writeing skills that is just an excuse for you to scope out your next victom...all the men on here do the same...dont reply back..i hate all you players"
====================================
Bam! Pow! The Goat has been found out. He stays to play. What can I say? Oh, la de day...
I'm sure she meant to wound me with her venom but she only succeeded in amusing and inspiring me. Just when I thought I was
all out of ideas, the universe sends another one to me. Crank it up, yo...let's giddy up in it:
===============================
Single White Victom
Imagine my hurt, imagine my surpise
When I was seen through my filthy lies
It took a message that was angry and seethin'
To mess up my plan with the lovely Breathing
See, this chickenhead here on this site
Messed up things that was goin' alright
With one mighty roar from her oft-used lungs
She spewed out a pile of stinky dung
'Cuz I'm a playah, yo
Dunno what to sayah, yo
I'm jus' here scopin' out my next victom
'Cuz angry women over forty are the bomb
(Ya'll got that right...yeah...)
Oh..bitch that stung, man that hurt
It killed my firey urge to flirt
I didn't know I was doin' any wrong
By having my brekkie and lookin' for victoms
I can't do right 'cuz I'm jussa man
From birth, all my morals are in the garbage can
I can't think right because of my balls
I may as well jump over Niagra Falls
'Cuz I'm a playah, yo
Dunno what to sayah, yo
I'm jus' here scopin' out my next victom
'Cuz I won't post poems on poetry.com
(Oh, yeah...we's all up in it now...)
There are better places to post writeing
Yah, man, that one I ain't fightin'
But I have more fun here than over tharn
And my favourite home is this here Barn
Bitter words and bitter venom
Ya'll know jus' where ta send 'em
You wanted me to bow to your brusin'
But you jus' ended up bein' amusin'
'Cuz I'm a playah, yo
Dunno what to sayah, yo
I'm jus' here scopin' out my next victom
In between writeing dirty poems and psalms
(Shake that monkey, 'cuz it's done, honkey...)
A'right...a'right...I'm gonna head out in the bush and pop me a moose with a deuce-deuce, yo. Peace.
============================================
Ah...now that was fun. And satisfying, like a long dump over the side of a mountain when the sun is coming up and the dew is still clinging to the stinkweed.
Thank you to the nameless person who insipired me. I hope you find your fish or at least lose some of that bitterness.
Tomorrow is New Year's and there will be a sermon. I know you're all itching for it...itching, like pink insulation wedged in the butt-crack kind of itching. That kind. Pick. Pick. Scratch.
See youse guys tomorrow!
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/31/2005 9:09:49 AM | Note...the previous was edited several times to get the #$%#$%^ formatting right. Frigging Windoze Notepad likes to fiddle with art...Bill Gates is always keepin' me down.
Hi Mari and Pickles...hugs to you, yo.
Er...forget the "yo" ... see youse tomorrow. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/31/2005 10:46:28 AM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
LMFAO
Mail like that makes me laugh my head off.........
Yo Bro
You da goat
You da man
Wid da barn
You da Lard
In da barnyard
You got da b1tch
She got you
Sh'e a good sista
Kind ya know
You da main man
Da head honcho
A wit, wit words
Where ya go I will follow
And my apologies to Hip Hop everywhere
Happy New Year to all
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/31/2005 9:42:35 PM | Good day all.....Me and the Goat are just sipping wine and watching the year end and another begin…It has been a great year: I found this ole barn , I made some friends - Pickles/Rory/Miz/Mari_Sam/Kobold/Longte/Sukari and the rest of the bran yard gang…
But most of all: I found me the sweetest smelling Goat… For this I am ever thankful, blessed I might add.
I Admire and respect this man and his heart more than words can convey …….
For the goat……..a New Years hug……
~~
Each stroke reveals a story
Held
Untold
Of memories
Forgotten
Recalled
The warmth of a history
Remembered
Told
Simple words
Simple thoughts
Moments shared
~~
Good night and Happy New Year!!!! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 12/31/2005 9:47:56 PM | Hello all...and hello Breathing-dear. I have to admit I never spent a New Year like this (20 minutes from midnight) with the one I do love on the other side of the room facing a computer.
Odd, isn't it? But, yet, we're happy.
This has been a great year with plenty of work, plenty of free time and plenty of beer and good weather. This is the year that a certain someone travelled halfway across this country to be here with me. I'm sure glad she did...it's been fun and an adventure ever since.
And, to all the Barn-dwellers and the lurkers and even the people that write to me (and write some really weird stuff) -- Happy New Year. I hope you all find what you're looking for, provided that it grows you in some way.
I mean, heck, that's what we're all here for - -to learn, love and grow. Right?
Yuh-huh.
Cheers. See you tomorrow. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 12/31/2005 10:52:03 PM | | This poetry reminds me of days past when I first tasted Bartle and James as a child. It kind of tasted of the smell of cat urine and canine fieces. OOoh my! | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 2633 | |
| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/1/2006 12:15:43 AM | I have no real idea what Bartle and James is; sounds very English though, perhaps alcholic, or else a type of marmalade???
But did you grow to enjoy it???
That is the beauty of this wonderful thread
From the first time I dropped in I felt so comfortable here
So Goat's a player like all the rest
I wonder what will happen next
Luring virgins to the barn
With that really special charm
Lessons on where we should pee
Leaves them in pure ecstacy
Making rhymes on body odour
Makes them want to come on over
His photos luring them inside
Bronzed six pack and shoulders wide
Simply can't leave him alone
After all; he is King Goat
Ave Ave Ave
All Hail
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/1/2006 1:25:35 AM | Happiest of New Years to one and all !
THE CRITTERS OF THE BARN
It's the New Year, by gum;
Time to drink, sing, and hum.
Goat getting a steam-clean,
Looking fleecy and obscene.
Then there's pickles over there
Drinking Pinot on a chair.
Kobold's got a gal, congrats !
He spends time at her flat.
longte's hunting down a knight;
Seems he's ready for the fight.
Miz is baking brownies
For her man, he has no frownies.
Breathing adheres to the smell
Of noxious fumes from Hell,
Though she'd have it no other way:
Her and Goat are here to stay,
Sukari pops in sometimes
With lovely colors without rhyme.
Mari's in the forest din
Writing like the fiercest wind.
It's Barn-alicious here
Sharing words and spreading cheer.
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/1/2006 9:53:56 AM | Hello all. Happy New Year to you Barn-dwellers and to all who lurk here while in their jam-jams and eating brekkie.
You guys are great. I'm slowly recovering from being called a player. Breathing is taking it reasonably well, though she has me scheduled for neutering and declawing the Thursday after next. It's for my own good, you see. I like to pee in the in the laundry and this should correct that little problem.
Welcome to UNItogether...I think Bartles and James tastes like fizzy horse piss. This place reeks of goat and all the things that fall out of one. It's a happy place, though.
Longte...heh heh...I love it! Though I'm Crisco-white and I have a one-pack..more like a keg filled with pork fat. Other than that, you got it on the button. Thanks, eh?
Rory...the barn-dwellers immortalized in poetry. Thanks for the New Year's verse. You da man, man!
Hey Mari...Happy New year to you, too. Breathing and I had some wine, beer and agood scotch to usher in the year. Outside, someone had some failed fireworks display. No sounds of sirens after, though...so I guess the moron didn't blow off his own fingers this year.
Okay...next is the sermon...well, it's a mass. I have no idea what the difference is, but a mass feels like the right terminology to me.
See you in a few moments....I have to pee in the laundry again. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/1/2006 9:55:46 AM | Here it is....do what you gotta do and get ready:
==============================
The Book of Goat – Mass for the Year 2006
Thy Lard hast put away his
2005 Far Side calendar
Laden with so many notes and reminders
Things to do and people to see
Or even vice versa
Many things can come to pass
In our small 365 day calendar
The last year has been very good for Thy Lard
New work, new relationships
Good weather
Knowledge gained and knowledge lost
Thy Lard’s vast knowledge warehouse
Has more traffic going in and out of it
Than a sea port in the Mediterranean
But, unfortunately, the only thing Thy Lard remembers now
Is rum and root beer tastes pretty good
And jalapeno jelly isn’t as gross as it seems
The rest has dropped to the back of that vast warehouse
Perhaps to have been shipped to another place
Thy Lard tries to not get attached to the calendar
It is a simple representation of the passage of time
That we all agree to
And doesn’t reflect what the true nature of time is
(Of which Thy Lard has no clue)
But
It is how we mark time…Thy Lard included
2005 was a very good year
And 2006?
Well, it’s early yet
The power wasn’t shut off when Thy Lard rose
And made Holy Coffee
And He saw that was Pretty Good
And it was a Fine Start
The day is cloudy and yet warm
That, too, was a Fine Start
There are hopes and unformed dreams
As there always will be, as Thy Lard is human
But He wisheth for Contentment
Knowledge and Understanding
And continue the pursuit for Clarity
Thy Lard guesseth He should also work on His Compassion
And take it easy on those that e-mail Him
And accuse Him of being a player
(As 99% of all men are, of course)
Thy Lard wisheth she may find a lovely turkeybaster
Or other cylindrical object
She can spend the rest of her life with in Unplayed Peace
But Thy Lard hath slipped off the rails
And hast forgotten of His Compassion
Again
So…here we are…standing on the edge of another year
Three-hundred and sixty five days of pure possibility
Intimidating, at times to see it
In its uncompressed, untrodden-on form
Thy Lard will try to make each step
With Awareness
With eyes up and mind open
And, by all means
Rake any and all morons that cross thy path
Over the coals
But do it lovingly, or at least without hate
Because hate and ignorance do not feed anyone
As well as a good scotch and a good book
And Bowmore scotch is sooo gewd, man
Amen
=========================
Embrace the day like a fresh loaf of bread and butter it liberally. Then eat with gusto...for this day is life, the very life of life.
Coffee's up and so am I. See youse later, eh? | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/1/2006 4:21:33 PM | Happy New Year everyone...
Poor Goat, sorry you got found out....darn isn't it crappy when you care about people, share your words and make someone laugh and smile and get found out....being a player in the barn and all....man what is this world coming to?...
I would never have guessed it, our dear old stinky goat a player....darn and you never hit on me?...shame on you....lol
I am so grateful for the barn, man it seems like eons ago when I stopped in here and got a good laugh...then posted and fell in love with the barn. Here I found myself, and a few odd things in the hay...but we won't mention them
I have made some remarkeable friends here, and have grown as a writer and a person from the many words that I have read here, I don't care what emails are going around, I know I have found some crazy,wacked out,poetic,nutcases, but I luv ya all.....lol
I hope you all have many wonderful memories to write about in 2006 and share them with us all again, I know I am planning on sticking around the barn, my hay bale is still good for another year, might just need a new air freshner around it....hint hint
Take care and huggggggggssssssss to all...
Miz | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/1/2006 5:58:51 PM |
To the whole player thing-ah well, can't satisfy everyone.
Happy New Year all!
Well aside my own playing, I've made some great literary friends literally(say that fast three times-lol). I've been honored to be in the presence of such great poets. Each with thier own writing style, but all with what it takes to write great poetry--heart! Looking forward to another year ladies and gents! And many more!
Special reverance to Goatsmell, Breathing, Mari, Miz, Rory, Pickles, and Longte!
My meager offering:
Winter’s Air
The bitter cold, and crisp winter’s air,
Whipping about me, but I don’t care.
Falling into the snow, onto my knees,
Before the gravestone, upon which I seize.
My face against the cold stone, the engraved letters I touch,
Remembering the warmth of you embrace, I miss you so much.
A preponderance of things, run through my mind,
So many questions, but no answers do I find.
The memory of so much joy, then soul shattering grief,
My life has been taken from me, as if by some thief.
Darkness again descends, and through it I blunder,
Racked with so much guilt, my sanity now set asunder.
Nowhere to turn, and so alone I stand,
There in the snow, by deaths command.
I’d rather not be, than to be so alone,
To lie there next to you, beneath that cold stone.
So cold, so very cold and numb,
So very tired, to sleep I must succumb.
Dreamscapes I wander, until you take my hand,
With the embrace of your love, alone no longer I stand.
Come with me, for rules of time no longer abide,
Walk with me; talk with me, forever by my side.
The bitter cold, and crisp winter’s air,
No longer matters, for I am not there.
~Kobold~ | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/1/2006 7:25:50 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wow Kobold ...that was amazing...shades of the "Dark".......
May 2006 bring you even more Light
Hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/2/2006 5:19:54 PM | Greets to y’all ...I hope 2006 treats you well, and you do the same!
Good to see you around these parts, Longte ;-) Your writes always hold style…
Welcome home, Rory - - Your words are versatile and graceful, as always…
Mari-Sam- - I hope this year is the best yet! I continue to read your thread and your poetry still stands strong…
Dear Miz - - I hope Santa and the elves treated you well …Wink, wink?! Glad to see you are writing, hopefully you hang more words here soon…
Pickles, I see you are in fine form, witty, and clever as always… Cheers to ya…
Howdy ho, Kobold… Your writes are vivid and felt…How goes Goblin life with your Goblinet? Pass on wishes of a good New Year to that Gal of yours…
Da Goat … You are the best, what can I say?! You are a wise and generous man, with a heart and soul like no other ~ ~ Namaste, My love
~~
Twelve months have passed
We begin to spin the thread
Weaving new tales
We wait
Time moves
Another story unfolds
Emotions quiet in the fire
Silent dreams emerge
As another year takes hold
~~
Well, I am off to find a brew and rest | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:32:01 PM | Namaste, to you as well my dear. You're in fine form this evening.
Howdy Miz...good to see you again and Happy New Year (and a belated Merry Christmas, too). It's always good to have your here, whether you're poetically-present or just saying hi. We luvs ya too.
Kobold, my man...yup, I have been found out. This is my final initiation into manhood, well after the testicles have dropped and the hair grew about them like an itchy fire. Your meagre offering is not so meagre at all...it strides into the barn and owns its own space. Thanks and it was good to see you again. Happy New Year right back atcher, eh?
(Hi Pickles...just slipped in there, did ya?)
As for me...work was verrrrrry slow today, as the rest of the world had today off for New Year's while I had the 30th off. Back asswards, it was...but I got my long weekend at least. But work was slow, so I wrote this in drips and drabs during the morning:
============================
Red Sky in the Morning
There has been much discussion about poems
I studied them for many years and still don’t know ‘em
From this mind, this head and this heart
From the same being, these things did impart
But the difference between a poem and a psalm
Can be concerning structure or a personal qualm
The misconception that structure is too rigid
That it takes away soul and leaves a poem frigid
Is absolute pure bunkum at it’s very best
A form to follow makes ease of poetic quest
The more square the box, the more imagination is required
When the spirit feels caged, the creativity is fired
But, while striving for delicious poetic parity
Make sure to throw in a side dish of clarity
==================================
Okay...enough poetically pontificating...must be awaaaaayyyy....
See you guys tomorrow. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/2/2006 6:41:00 PM | Hiya Barn dwellers!!!!!!!!!
Awe Breathing, this year is already off to a great start!!!
Thank you dear!!!! I wish you the best too!!!
Turn of events
Time on the run
I found my fish
The sweetest one
He makes me laugh
And makes me smile
I like his manner
And he’s got great style
It was instant comfort
And instant ease
He’s stirring up
My Zephyr breeze….
Sam | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/3/2006 5:12:52 PM | Howdy all. Just a post and run from me tonight. Howdy Mari! Breathing is just warming up a poem right now...I can hear her think. Or that could be the refrigerator..er something.
Anyhoo...a poem? The daily load of whatever-it-is happens to be right here:
=========================
Three and a half Months of Drivel
Three and a half months to go
To the nearest holiday, you know
We are not blessed here in Saskabush
Having no long weekends is a pain in the tush
Easter is the next break we will see
This long haul to April is unbearable to me
Sure, things could be worse
Working on weekends is a curse
Standing at the beginning of January
Is an intimidating thing for me
I can cast my vision across this part of the year
I can see the feelings and smell the fear
After this month is February the Small
Where Saint Valentine will rule all
Where I will be suffering from burning farts
After eating far too many cinnamon hearts
March will hold the promise of spring
But in this country it is not a sure thing
For spring is a fickle kind of blurry phase
It seems to arrive only when we’re in a daze
And, April, sweet April is when things become warm
Or when tractors disappear in mud on the farm
But, despite that longing spring itch
The farmers will find some reason to ****
Then, and only then, will there be a day off
But, those with vacation days will scoff
And those who happen to be unemployed
With be neither amazed or annoyed
==========================
Yeah, that went a little longer than I thought. To heck with editing, let's keep it. Well, the chili's kicking in a little earlier, so I'd better head on down to the water closet with a good book.
Wish me luck...g'night! | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/3/2006 5:15:18 PM | Howdy folk..... How y'all doing ?
Evening to you, Mari-Sam - - Thank you, The year is off to a good start ...Glad you found a fish swimming in the pond...
~~
Moments
Of contemplation
Suspended in time
Recollections
Of the past
Settle in the mind
~~
See ya later....
Edit.... Ahh, the goat and his witty wisdom ;-) | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/3/2006 7:37:16 PM | Five a.m. alarm comes early...or late if you set it for 5 p.m..........
Thank god I had one of those nights where I didn't really sleep! that has it's downside tho
.
.
.
.
.
Six thirty train feeling sleepy and stunned
Regular seat...taken, totally bummed
Tucked myself in to a seat by the heater
With my down jacket on...It felt like a sauna
Eyelids drooped, chin hit my chest
Slept the sleep of the dead
I guess I needed the rest
Woke with a start at Union Station
Then came the embarrassed realisation
I had broken the commuter's golden rule
When you sleep on the train...please...
Don't drool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was this long sorta slobber like that dog in the movie Turner and Hooch...so embarrassed
I am GRIM in the am
Hugs to our lard and Breathing and all the other Barnacles | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/4/2006 4:45:24 PM | Hugs to the Great and Sleepy Pickles, too. A drooling, slumbering Pickles as well...I wish there were photos of that newsworthy event. Love that little ditty, too...great stuff!
I apologize for last night's grammatically-incorrect...the last line was a feast fit for a rabid copy editor.
Okay...here's tonight's more grammtically-correct offering:
==============================
Snap Goes the Puller
I broke my staple puller just today
Why I did it, I cannot say
One stubborn staple required great strength
It came out, but the puller was half its length
Was it a substandard piece of crap
Only half of it lying in my lap?
Or was it me with my ham-handed ways
That caused the puller to be stunted for the rest of its days?
=====================================
The result? I kept it. A good staple puller is hard to find...the angle is right and the taper on it is superb. A good puller is worth its weight in gold, yassuh.
To the showers and then to bed for I. Good night, eh? | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/4/2006 6:16:11 PM | G'Day all: Swimmers and fisher folk….
Dear Pickles - - Hugzzzz to thee, drooling one!
Smelly Goat - - A hug for you …..
~~
White Snowberries
Gently
Paint the land
The scent of
Frost tickled branches
Linger in the breeze
Touches of white
Softly cascading
In the palms of leaves
The taste of silence
Quietly
Resting in your hands
~~
Sleep well, My friends ...... | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/5/2006 9:16:21 AM | Morning Barn Dwellers,
Hope all is well with ya’ll!!!!!!
Waterfall sprays my face
Refreshes the mind
Tickles my cheeks
Makes stress rewind
Walk the viaduct
Over the brook
Come and sneak
A quick look
Loose yourself
In nature’s awe
In it’s purity
Beauty in the raw
Sam
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/5/2006 4:55:10 PM | Hi Mari...beauty in the raw is the best way to take it. Love to see you here in fine posting form.
And hello all. Me? I just have a leeettle poem here for this fine day and that's it. Duty calls...and then precious, slobbering slumber.
===============================
I’m Not Going to Tim Horton’s…You are!
In the half-light of this Thursday morn
An edgy terror was set to be born
The early ones were the first to complain
More arrived and the complaints poured like rain
We were all sure the corporate wheels would stop
Calling the army was considered – even the ambulance or the cops
But, since no one was hurt and the emergency not dire
Really, no one was hurt and there was no fire
We were left to handle this crisis on our own
Victory or defeat were ours to be known
There were those that wailed and those that did lament
Quickly their energy was all but spent
All their whining and gnashing came to naught
Because one brave soul refilled the coffee pot
When the coffee was ready no one cried and none did yearn
For the Blessed Bean did issue from the Holy Urn
================================
The bean holds the power in the office. I am sure of this. g'night. | |
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