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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/5/2006 5:44:43 PM | LMAO, so true!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am simply
Not me
Until I have my
Morning coffee
Nothing satisfies
The work day itch
More than
The caffeinated B*tch
Ya’ll never want to see
The day there is no coffee
I would be worse than crazy
I’d be on a fricken crime spree
Hahahahahahahahahaha
Sam | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/5/2006 7:22:27 PM | I gotta have my Java jolt
I gotta have it with cream
Dont give me decaff with milk
Or I'll kill while you scream
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/5/2006 7:53:43 PM | Good evening, fellow Java Junkies ;-)
Mari_ Sam - - The Poetic Caffeinated *****, Love it…
A howdy do to you, Pickles - - God forbid ….... Decaf!!
The Goat makes the best java this side of the moon!
~~
Java so rich and fine
French pressed
Dark Honduras
Is how I take mine
A scent sweeter than wine
Natural and pure
Crisp as a prairie sunrise
The taste, simply divine
~~
Well Goat
:::::::: Tis time for Who’s Line, then it's off to bed, Night all…….. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/5/2006 8:04:41 PM | Howdy all,
I see we are telling our coffee tastes
Millstone Columbian
Is my fav.
But my normal is Hills brothers
For money to save
I like mine black
I like mine strong
No cream or sugar
Just all day long……
 Sam | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/5/2006 8:23:40 PM | I read a good short book one time
By William Least Heat Moon
An indigenous American
To speak of cup and spoon
He divorced and traveled
Blue highways also the name of book
And never once returned a glance
Be ditchdigger or cook
I'm reminded of this reading
I did so long ago
When my mind is bleeding
Or if I'm feeling low
Blue highways are the ones
Less traveled now you see
Not interstate or thorofare
When life slows down to be
He spoke of diners and truckstop
He'd encounter day by day
He'd work awhile get food and gas
And be back on his way
He spoke of rating restaurants
By calendar on wall
A really very good one
Would have a few on all
I find that to be a truth
When traveling back roads
I'd like to share a cup with you
If our lives that way unfold | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/6/2006 3:07:03 AM | A very early good morning...
Hey ho hey ho....it's off etc...
But not before Kenyan AA Dark Roast...with cream....
Fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a good day one and all
Picklesxo | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/6/2006 5:19:38 PM | Hallo all....good to see youse guys again. Mari and the Pickles...you guys are the best, you know.
It seems we've stumbled on the coffee theme a bit here. For the record, Breathng and I always choose organic Honduran dark roast and make it extra strong. Take it black and straight (just like Barry White) and the day is good.
But...none for me tonight...it's time for:
==========================
Friday Night Fluff
I don’t think I’ve ever seen nor heard
A poem as lovely as a soft, morning turd
Though turds are soft and words can be harsh
They don’t squish between your fingers, by garsh
This poem only took several seconds to write
And, yes, it is an awful, awful sight
To dash off a zillion poems a day is unhealthy
And is the prop for the unemployed or the wealthy
One poem a day is a very wholesome balance
Unless you’re Carl Sandberg or Jack Palance
You are correct if you think this poem is bad
If you hate this, you should see my Dad’s
===============================
BaBOOM! There it is! The gauntlet is down! The catbox has been cleaned! The droppings hath dropped!
Ooof!
Pow!
Er..zowie!
Okay...I need to pee. See you guys tomorrow, eh? | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/6/2006 5:20:43 PM | Forgot to say howdy to the worstguyonhere....like what you wrote, pardner. The barn is greateful for the post. It told me so.
Okay...the bladder is propelling me up from the chair.... | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/6/2006 6:36:48 PM | POETIC OUTPUT
A poem a day? You're a prolific Goat.
I write a line a day while pole-vaulting the moat.
If it's a fifty-two line effort, that's one a year !
Then I can relax on New Year's, and have a beer.
I then read it out loud throughout the day,
In stores and dentists' offices I have my say.
I like to sneak into churches often
While the sermon drones on, I intone between coughin'.
Once, a parishioner took pity on me
And dropped a five-spot in a bronze pot of tea.
I thanked him so, then went off to the bar
Where I versified to the drunks in their jars.
Down to the barristers I then toured;
Their crisp and curt manners didn't hide the manure,
So I recited my last year's poem out loud
To a gaggle of obfuscating lawyers in a crowd.
"Hark ! The dark and glib tailored appraisers stand...."
I proclaimed to the room. The jury box unmanned,
They blinked their blank stares past my head to the wood-
Panelled doors which held their filthy secrets from the good.
The moral of the story, to be dreadfully didactic,
Is to shout your verse, though listeners wear prophylactics
'Round their brains so nothing of import enters in fear.
Write one (OK, maybe a score) of good poems a year. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/7/2006 7:29:58 PM | Hello all. Howdy Rory...that was a mighty fine summation of what I feel as well. It ain't quantity, but quality. Though I don't have much either way...but you do, pardner. Great quality in your words. Your latest is a clipper and a keeper...hope you don't mind...
Alrighty...what do I have tonight? Not a heck of a lot. Been hanging out and watching movies with the Breathing gal here. Maybe something will come to mind riiiiiigggghhht nnnnowwwww:
========================
Rory Made Me Do It
A little does a lot, that's what I thought
Make those words run free
Quanity is fraught with little dots
Elispses to represent pause, you see
It really isn't ghey to write a poem a day
Some write only one a year
I only say it's the way I play
It's more fun with a can of beer
==========================
Yup, it's all your fault you know. I'm back to watching movies with Breathing. She's right there on the couch all alone n' stuff. That ain't right.
G'night! Be semi-dressed and quasi-ready for the sermon tomorrow...or you could be semi-ready and quasi-dressed, it don't matter. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/7/2006 8:29:53 PM | In my sexual prime
I have found that time
And wrinkles
Put a cramp into my desires
But Ofuscating Lawyers
May make me drop my drawers
And in the resulting confusion
With Rory's help and collusion
I may screw 'em
Before they screw me
 | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/7/2006 11:39:32 PM | Excellent, O pickled One ! ^^
PRELUDE TO A GOAT
The sermon is anunce
From Our Lawd, he's no dunce.
He spreads crackers and good cheer,
Or is it stale breath of beer?
From a pulpit on high,
He rips into ham and rye,
Slathering the pink lard;
That's the Goatly Lard.
Which verse will it be
This upcoming morn? Let's see....
A warning about smelly gonch
Or the perils of the paunch?
Will it bring forth concern
For human baseness which we learn
Has no bottom to it?
His Lawdness surely rues it.
Perhaps a sprightly song
About the joys of Mah-Johhng?
Or a haberdashery
Infiltrated by roving fleas?
Whatever, the Lawd stakes his claim
To demented sermonly fame.
His pew-sitters, as they snore,
Drop nickels on the floor.
Why is the Barn so icy
With icycles clear and spicy?
Someone covered 'em in cayenne,
Now they drop in the next-door pen
Hitting sows as they squeal in glee,
Shivers of cold and Goatish brie;
Yes, it was a cheesy sermon, quite,
But blessed are Barnsters, not trite.
Amen.
Please stand and shake a fetlock at the Coming of the Goat...... | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/8/2006 8:23:34 AM | Hello all. Happy Sunday and it's good to see you all here gathered and half-dressed in the Barn this morning. Thank you to Rory for so eloquently warming up what crowd that gathered today. Heck I was all wramed up reading his poem that I almost forgot to write today's sermon. Thanks, eh?
Hello to the Mighty Pickles -- lawyers don't deserve to be screwed unless it's on the end of a hockey stick that has just been used as a manure shovel. But that's my opinion....any lawyers in the house? One? Well, go hump a brick.
To the sermon...sit down and receive the goodness:
=============================
Psalm 82 – The Book of Goat
Two weeks ago
Thy Lard began to be
Most Congested with some kind of
Icky coughing sickness.
Searching for remedy
He stumbled upon an almost forgotten friend
The Elixir of Buckley’s
And old friend which hath given Him
A few nights of restful sleep
Several years ago
In a place far away from the Holy Saskabush
He seized it and brought it forth
(paying the appropriate taxes and did wait for His change)
Thy Lard remembered that it did taste awful
But it did really work
What He wasn’t prepared for was
How REALLY awful it truly was
(worse than He hath remembered)
Oh, my Gentle German Jesus
It was like mixing dirty diapers and socks
In pine tree juice, mixed with
Vick’s Vap-O-Rub
Oh, Holy Pete and his Half-Pound of Pork
It was like licking a cat’s ass
And then brushing your teeth with Tiger Balm
And then gargling with ammonia
Oh, His Exalted Pope Benedict and His Super-Ghey Red Shoes
It was like making a****ail out of
Every household cleaner in the Walmart cleaning aisle
Then mixing in some white shoe polish
Whilst having twelve hearty, stout men
Toss off into a plastic bucket
While watching some really harsh animal porn
Then adding in some cooking sherry and road salt
And pounding it down
Whilst a bent two-iron and a pineapple
Is shoved up your ass
….
Then do some deep knee bends
….
Kind of like that…
But, Thy Lard doth proclaim
That the Elixir of Buckley’s doth work
Quite Well
And He didst sleep well and He didst recover
Over the following two weeks
One question doth remain, though
What does one do with the leftover Buckley’s?
It serves no purpose other than to relieve cough and cold symptoms
And perhaps as a threat to some unruly child
Thy Lard thinks that stuff will sit for five years or more
Before He becomes ill enough to use it again
It can’t be used as a condiment, household utility nor lubricant
It may keep skunks away from the flowers
Or it might not
Thy Lard considereth this may be an Eternal Question
What does one do with leftover pine-tree jism
And how long does it keep?
Oh, well…coffee break!
Amen
====================================
There we go. Today we'll be dispensing with the collection plate and, instead, we'll be trading dirty limericks. If they aren't dirty, you won't get into heaven. Because lame funny is hell-funny.
It looks like a good day out there, so g'wan and git it. See yer later, eh? | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/8/2006 7:54:29 PM | Good day to you all….T’was a fine Sunday here on the prairie land! The taste of java still lingers - -
Mari_sam - - I like your words, I do.
Pickles, dear Pickles - - Your thoughts are witty and sharp
Greets and stuff to you, Worstguy - - I see the story unfold in each line
Rory - - You outdone yourself, Masterful poet
Goat, that’s you - - I like your Friday night fluff…. Ya know, I like your fluff every night ;-)
It was a fine Sunday sermon: A Limerick you say?
~~
A limerick a day
Will keep the devil away
I try and I try to rhyme
But it’s simply a waste of time
The best I can do is pray
~~
Ooohhh kayyy ......
~~
Empty space
Words
Lost in time
Thoughts emerge
Each utterance
Spoken with truth
Rudimentary language
Visual memories
Locked
Behind silent eyes
~~ | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/9/2006 5:43:49 PM | Ooohhh...errrgh..long day. Just a haiku from me, if that's okay for youse guys.
===================
A debate rages
Men with perfect hair blabber
Nonsense through the night
===================
Dedicated to the political debate on TV tonight. The Goat always votes and will cross a moat full of shoats to cast that vote. I'll follow the Canadian tradition and vote against the party I dislike most, rather than for the one I do like.
Ah, but, alas...enough of politics. I'm hitting the showers. Game over for me tonight.
See youse tomorrow, eh? | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/9/2006 6:48:15 PM | Just heard the news today....
IRVING LAYTON (1912- 2006)
Flamplatz, your booming voice rang for decades,
Like a belted barrage of well-placed shots
To the well-fed philistine mid-sections.
Unheard over the cash-register clang,
Your persistence still registered at times
Whenever a lull in acquisition.
Warnings? Raging passion? In this country?
We live in a playpen of diversion,
Trifling in cavilling narcissism
While wars breed in the theater of the mind.
Seer, registering remarkable
Rhythms, stamped with long flames of blue and red,
Oversee in spirit our faltering words,
Our shiny superfluity, and laugh.
The sun laughs brightly rolling on the sea. | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 2667 | |
| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/9/2006 7:28:13 PM | I just noticed you writing on coffee again
I must find an old memory for that
Its tucked away somewhere somewhere and I really have no exact memory where
Dirty Dragon type limerick coming up
There once was a lady from York
Whom all local lovers did stalk
But none of them entered
For right in the centre
Of her pussy was planted a cork
Then along came a man who presented
A dick that was strangely indented
With a twist and a twirl
He entered that girl
Thus was the corkscrew invented
..
. | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 2669 | |
| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/9/2006 7:46:11 PM | Back Twice in one day to post
Uh Oh Barn might get even more addictive
Cuppa sounds Great
A brew thats built on barley, sure sounds good to me
Might just me help to disguise, the flavour of Coffee
Even though molten lava, is my favorite brew
Afraid the taste of Coffee, makes this Dragon want to spew
Sometimes, doing business, I'm forced to drink a cup
Gotta Keep things on a friendly note... keep good relations up
Put a smile upon my face... trying not to frown
Grip the cup in Dragons claw, and Swill the **stard down
Holding now with desperation, Crooked Smile in place
Avoid a Glower of Disgust, from filling up my face
Hunting for Saliva.. to try and drown the Taste
Knowing by my clenching Gut,,,, Its all a stupid waste
Why try and Impress me, with Coffee Thick and Black
That Tastes like Road Kill Stew, and other things like that
Though Road Kill Stew if well prepared is quite a tasty treat
Lots of different flavours,,,, depending on the meat
But still, back to the coffee, vileness lingers there
Try to tip the second cup, behind a handy chair
Or tip it in a potted plant and watch it quickly die
Meantime hide my subterfuge, behind a winning smile
Not real big on coffee
But it does kills weeds really well
..
. | |
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om
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 2670 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/10/2006 12:41:33 AM | Hello GoatSmell, Breathing
I've so enjoyed stumbling around (pickin mah nose) in this thread! You crack me UP man !
I just love your simplicity! Very Very inspirational! A year and a half I see and 107 pages later.
Gonggrats !! I look forward to coming again and reading, so much fine write here! Thanks! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/10/2006 5:20:46 PM | Hello all. Good to see so much traffic in this ol' barn today. And it's really good to see some new faces in here as well.
Rory...I've heard about Dr. Irv a little while ago and considered doing a tribute, but I didn't do one for Al Purdy and I REALLY like his poems. Irving Layton wasn't bad and may he rest in peace...finally. Your tribute was incredible.
Longte...you're a wicked limerick-writer. That's what I was hoping for when I put the suggestion out there on Sunday. Oh, heck yeah! Good to have you here in the barn -- I find it terribly addictive as well. Haven't been able to give it up in a year and a half.
And to Om...not Ohm (there's no electical resistance here)...good to see you here in the Barn. Thank you very much. This ol' barn is a labour of love, built a bit at a time by some very skilled hands (my hands are not terrible skilled, but the other barn-dwellers' are). I've been reading your poems as well...I have a thing or two to learn from you. Welcome...mind the rats, though..we're having problems with them.
Otay...what do I have in my tickle trunk tonight? Dum de dum...ah:
======================================
So This Tuesday
So this Tuesday closed
With more of a fart than a whimper
It collapsed upon itself
Like a spineless civil servant called to simper
So this Tuesday wound
Like a river full of mud and junk
It didn’t end with a bang
It rolled along and settled badly
Seizing and resting with a clunk
So this Tuesday died
Fistfuls of memos clutched to chest
It didn’t go gently
And certainly went without jest
So this Tuesday crawled
Coffee cup in hand
Strike one up for the people
For Wednesday is in the band
===========================
I never truly appreciated wekends when I worked them. Now that I've gone corporate, I have become oh, so terribly moist for the weekend. A moist goat is a happy goat. Think of the smell of a wet dog in a rainforest. That kind of happy.
I'll leave ya'll with that nasal-phantom and wish you goodnight. G'night, eh? | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/10/2006 6:48:32 PM | Jeez goat.......
Corporate.......
'Ja wear a suit an all???
The Barn is going Upmarket
No longer Blue Collar Farts
Them that remind us of decaying body parts
No Ma'am
This here Barn
Is Odour free
By his own admission
Our Lardy Goat is part of the corporation
That no longer depends on commission
Wet dogs, rainforests
Don't measure up to
Goat fart porridge
"Sigh"
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om
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 2673 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/11/2006 12:53:40 AM | Thank ya, fur the welcomin,
I recon I'll be back,
the talents here
are like ya say,
but do I need rat traps? :) | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 2674 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/11/2006 1:04:27 AM | Hi Barn
Om has a deathly fear of rats
Only likes them in a trap
But there are no rats you see
Dragon scoffed them all for tea
So its cool Om, its safe to chat
..
. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/11/2006 5:44:39 PM | Howdy to all yee barn dwellers - -
Rory - - That was a fine homage to Irving Layton…
Good day, Longte - - The barn is a place that pulls ya back, time and time again… And the odour is mighty,,,, pungent?!
Greetings to you, om - - A newcomer! Glad to see your writes here, you have a fine style…
Pickles - - Tis good to see you and your wisdom here…. And thy lard: is generally in the buff…
The Goat should be here shortly, he’s just working on his soccer kick…. Hugss to ya, me’love!!
~~
Memories of a history
Quietly fade
Words
Gone unheard
Simple thoughts
Lost
Emotions
Caught in the web
Of utterances
Misunderstood
~~
G'night all.....I'm gonna crawl under a bale of hay and snooze a bit, if y'all don't mind? | |
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