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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/18/2006 3:22:29 PM | Hello all. Good to see you all here with your great and weighty words and fine ditties.
Pickles has caught Feargal Fever, along with her prior ailment...alas, there's only the poetry cure for Feargalitis. I plan to write him out of my system vewy, vewy soon. God willing, at least. But you made me laugh, m'dear. Catchy little rhyme there, too.
Howdy Om! Ah...soccer...I still dream of it at night. The best sport ever, it is. Any poem about it is a favourite of mine. Thanks, eh?
Hello to Miz, too! C'mon back any old time, poem or not. Your spot is still safe here, amidst the rat shit and whatnots that are stuck to the floor.
As for me...well, another poem about Feargal O'God because I love that name. It's better than Angus MacPummell.
========================
The Education of Feargal O’God
Feargal O’God woke up with an urge
To seek, to learn and to grow
His possessions he did purge
And journeyed to the U of Glasgow
Feargal cared little for the usual classes
Math, language, music and the like
Also, his fellow students were asses
He beat one up and took his bike
Feargal pondered the lists, made his choice
He cared little for clinical psychology
He followed his heart and exercised his voice
And enrolled in Animal Gynecology
=============================
And that course is only available in two universities in the world -- The University of Glasgow and the University of Saskatchewan in Saskatoon. Explore the wonderous and messy world of animal gynecology. You won't regret it.
Okay...I must feed my face. See youse tomorrow, eh? | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/18/2006 4:34:17 PM | Ah Feargal O'God was alone...on his tod
When he enrolled in the prescribed classes
But he put the speculum up the Tutors bum
And proclaimed.."You are all big A$$es!
 | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/18/2006 4:43:35 PM | ^^
Feargal O'God was a merry, old sod
Who drew pictures of pu$$ies and tush.
But he thought it odd when he saw a real bod;
His ventures were becoming ambushed. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/18/2006 4:52:36 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^ LMFAO Rory........
Now Feargal O'God didn't give a sod
About what anyone or convention said
His own way was quite depraved
He loved sheep alive or dead
I think I need  | |
|
om
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 2705 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/18/2006 5:04:04 PM | just another peek in..
Tis a great team sport Goat ! Dare I say , greater than hockey, oops, did I say that,
bad Canadian..lol :) | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/19/2006 3:27:20 AM | "Ditty Goat Ditty Goat! Hmm...barn is looking mighty good great readings here! Good to see our regulars posting in here! Now what do I see with my wondering but a minature sleigh and one tiny little girl...A miracle angel in my life born on December 11, 2005! did I not come to the barn and pet our ditty goat with my bundle of joy! We are here now just need to remember which page it is! LOL...now this could take serious talent...Happy New Year everyone! All the best to you all this fantastic year 2006! Yes my internet is up and running again but uh uh will not get trapped...LOL...who has time when we have to take care of a wee one! I was just popping in to say hello and wish you all the best! Now this lady is gonna sneak off to sleep before my wee one wakes up for her feeding...our work is never done we clean do laundry and sleep when our wee one does...yes very important!
Cannot think of any poem right now except zzzzz! I will soon though and plan to get on back to my page...my last one was a while ago since I changed my screen name! hmmm....loving you my Ditty Goat! And the rest of you too!
   Nighty night! Charming and still sweet! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/19/2006 5:52:28 AM | Hiya charming....congrats hun, there is nothing in this world that changes your life for the better then an angel ,but they grow up so fast...lol
We miss seeing you in the old barn, what am I saying I am hardly here....lol...but we do miss you..
Take care and remember you spot will always be here..I try to keep it clean and everyone's hands off it but you know what prime barn reality goes for now adays?...we should talk about selling...lol
Bye for now
Miz | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/19/2006 3:03:27 PM | Hiya Barn Dwellers!!!!!!!
I got vent, lol
Snowing here still
All day long
This in my book
Is just wrong
I need sunshine
And sandy beaches
Not a weatherman
That only preaches
I want natural heat
From the sun
I hope winter
Is almost done
Sick of shoveling
Sick of clouds
Sick of this white stuff
On our lawns shrouds
I wanna go barefoot
Past the front door
I wanna see green again
And so much more…….
Sam | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/19/2006 5:23:39 PM | Hello all! 'Tis time for the daily poem and whatnot. Good to see ya'll here in your finery.
Hello and welcome back to Charming. Happy New Year to you as well and congratulations. But don't pet the ditty goat with your bundle of joy...that could be hazardous to the child's well-being. Don't be a stranger, eh? Resurrect your poetry thread and make it shine again -- it's somewhere around the forum.
Good to see Pickles and Rory bantering Feargal around. It gave me inspiration! It gave me gusto! It gave me a little gas! I loved it all. You two are a hoot and a harf, I tells ya.
Hello, Om. 140 days before the World Cup is upon us. Moist isn't the word that can accurately convey my excitement about it. Whee!!! It's far better than hockey -- I didn't miss that when there were no NHL games last season. All I noticed was there were more and better movies on CBC on Saturdays.
Hello again to Miz...she does try to keep various places clean for the guests, but I am a terrible host and my bowels have no control in places like these. The resale value on this place isn't terribly good, I'm afraid. With a little paint and a big barn fire, it might come along though...
Hello to Mari...sick of winter? We have about three more months of it. Yay!! The grass is still kind of green under the snow...you just have to dig at it a bit.
Okay...the poem. More Feargal? I'm not quite done with him yet:
===================================
The Apprenticeship of Feargal O’God
‘Twas when Feargal was in his early adult years
When he sought to further his education
He drowned himself in an ocean of beers
And that brought him some elucidation
It was in the pub where he met Mad Mike McFike
The wildest of wild men from the Celtic land
Feargal never did and never saw again the like
Of a crazy Scot so keen to show his glands
You see Mad Mike wore no underwear or shorts
Which was good, for his smell would make you wilt
He tried garments of all shapes and sorts
But settled to be stark nude under his kilt
Drunk Feargal lay on the floor most defeatedly
Bold moves were made by Mad Mike McFike
He stepped over prone Feargal quite repeatedly
To show him what a true man was like
The apprenticeship lasted as long as a typical ship of fools
Feargal and Mad Mike went their separate ways
Mike derided Feargal for not plumbing the mules
And accused him of being gay
===================================
Clunk! And there it is....enjoy. I'll be back tomorrow, eh? G'night! | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 2710 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/19/2006 11:06:49 PM | Hi Everyone
Once more Feargal is irresistable
Mad Mike of course disappeared overseas
Last seen on a stage at Les Folies Bergees
Exhorting the crowd to come have some fun
Lifting his kilt to show knickers he'd none
Feargal was still busy playing with guts
at his new college where they were a must
Digging and delving and chuckling with glee
From the look on his face in pure ecstasy
Down at the pub where he went every night
with a hand in his pocket he'd groan in delight
He'd found fresh calf liver made him feel good
To say what he did with it, would be too rude
You'd think his laundry bills would soar
but Feargal O"God was pretty poor
So he pissed in the pockets to clean them out
A beast of a man, of that there's no doubt
..
. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/20/2006 12:27:10 AM |  Excellent. ^^^^
Feargal then bit off the head of a rat
Who sprung at him from his scientific vat.
First he put some mustard on its tail
But an hour after his repast, his intestines began to wail.
Over to the drug store to pick up a carton
Of pepto-dismal from pharmacist Ms. Martin.
Chug-a-lugging that putrid, chalky stuff,
He looked around for another rat's hide so tough.
Found, instead, a roof tile of asphalt;
Washed it down with a triple whiskey malt.
Then he stumbled over to the abbatoir
Where he put a dress on a dead heifer in its sepulchral boudoir.
Upchucking his recent contents, then, to the bloody floor,
He went back to his cot where he passed out, and snored.
Woke up in a fever of one hundred and three,
Then p!ssed razor blades while howling on trembling knees.
Head spinning, dry heaves, his skin inflamed and flaking,
He went to the kitchen and began hurried baking.
A greasy ham omelette and a flagon of stout,
He was due to be even more sick, of that there was no doubt.
Onions and garlic, sour cream, salt and fried lard;
His intestines, in fear, had Roto-Rooter stand guard.
More groaning, dire bathroom activity, and a twenty hour sleep
During which, poor Feargal, he began dreaming of fleeced sheep. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/20/2006 6:19:31 AM | okay gotta add Feargal to my list of poems written for the barn....here you go...lol
Now dear old Feargal had many habits
from eating rats to playing with rabbits
but his one true love was way down deep
his ever love for banging sheep
he tried so hard to leave them alone
even went to school to be far gone
but love’s course does run true
and old Feargal’s balls were now blue
so away home he went one sunny day
to see how many sheep would allow him to play
he got down and dirty rolled up his sleeves
started with snowy and ended with eve
he was spent the sheep were sore
and someone was now pounding at his door
it seems that he must of crossed the line
because the police were there with a fine
your habits have disgusted to many you see
the odd sheep banging is okay but 203?
Seems to me you’re a hopeless case
And should be in St’Annes place.......
Miz | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/20/2006 4:20:25 PM | Hello all! What a great collection of Feargalness we have here today...I wasn't sure if anyone would catch Feargal fever like I did. I'm sorry for inflicting it an all of you.
I'm feeling a little flu-like today, so I'll be brief here tonight. My words will be fewer than usual, but my gratitude is as great as ever for all those who posted.
Longte...that was masterful and definitely part of the inspiration I had for tonight's offering.
Rory had me coughing my lungs out with laughter....good job, my good sir!
And Miz was truly stunning with the humour with her poem. I knew you had a wicked sense of humour, Miz, and there it is. Lovely!
Okay...here's the latest bit of stuff from me. It's more Feargal, I'm afraid:
============================
The Autumn Years of Feargal O’God
Feargal’s years passed as if a dream
Between bouts of the usual strife
He kept the rashes at bay by spreading cream
Ah, but that is the stuff of life
As we do all, he mellowed into stately old age
His animal gynecology experiments had failed
Feargal escaped many a sheepherders’ rage
While his control group bleated and flailed
Though old, Feargal never completely mellowed
His new habit was to try to grab ladies’ garters
He was never really a delicate type of fellow
But he became ill when they blasted him with their farters
After inhaling so much feminine methane
Feargal retreated to memory’s deepest keep
Some thought his bayonet eyes were insane
But Feargal was dreaming of his long lost sheep
=====================================
Ah, there we go. Feargal, m'lad...you're getting on. Almost time for (gasp) the end.
Stay tuned. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/20/2006 11:13:51 PM | Har. The legend just gets better.
FEARGAL IN OLD AGE
Ole Feargal now was ninety-two;
He wobbled when he went to the loo.
Hit the seat, his pants, and his shoes.
The urine stains turned linoleum blue.
He had a young lass come to bathe him once a week:
He hoped that she would be pliant and meek.
Instead, she smacked his hand, -- such cheek ! --
When he tried to grope her back end. Eek !
He had no friends, no peace, and no teeth.
He licked the labels from old bottles of Keith.
He liked to forget his troubles on the heath
By reading Genesis 145: 989 : " ... And Feargal seeth !"
At least, he was still a legend to himself,
Collecting cans and soiled clothes for pelf.
He now resembled a perverted fat elf
That's been sitting too long on the pantry shelf.
Aye, Feargal ! Unloved, but still wistful about sheep !
Running to their backsides while, in fear, o'er the cliff they leaped !
You've sown your loopy oats, now look what you've reaped:
Your decling years drinking in a junkyard jeep. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/21/2006 3:50:41 PM | Masterful, Rory...absolutely masterful. Thanks, eh?
Hello all....just me wandering through the barn. I haven't had much time or motivation to write much of anything today. I was..uhm...distracted today.
Here's a haiku:
=========================
A Lazy Saturday Haiku
Feargal rests in mind
His ending yet to be done
Soccer is to blame
=========================
There we go. Sunday tomorrow, isn't it? Yar...see you then. G'night! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/21/2006 8:32:16 PM | Good evening all,,,,,
Howdy ho Mari_Sam, Sounds like a touch of the doldrums has hit ya
Hello and Congrats to you, Charming
Great writes in this ole' place, Rory/Longte/om
Miz/Pickles, glad yous got on the Feargal train… ;-)
And special greets to Feargal O'God…. I see he is gettin on in years?! I am sure thy Dear lard will see him to the other side …
Sweet Goat, A hug for thee!!
~~
A fine Saturday has come to an end
Sunday arrives
A day with thy Lard begins
Monday is just around the bend
Friday seems out of reach
As the week rolls in
Time is my friend
Wheels will turn
Minds will spin
I wait for the weekend
As I sit quietly
And grin
~~
Gotta sleep, my mind is foggy...Night all | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/22/2006 7:13:25 AM | Yesterday I was a shade of blue
Smurflike but with no funny voice
Home decorating sanding and painting
Navy blue my colour of choice
A tiny room under the stairs
Trying to get into each corner
Space was a problem for me too
Had me wound up in contortions
As I painted the downstairs loo
Needs another coat too dagnabit
Smurf like again today!!! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/22/2006 7:47:17 AM | Hello all. Glad you could make it here for this morning's reading from the Book of Goat. Thy Lard wrote this down on a beer coaster and went away to the spare room for a wee lie-down. I managed to recover it and make it sound less Lardy.
Hello to Pickles who's feeling soooo bluuueeee....just the thought of painting makes me want to break out into cold sweats. The smell of latex paint gives me heebie jeebies and then the flashbacks come...ugh, paint. I wish you well on your second (or third, or even fourth) coat.
Okay, here's the sermon. It's a quickie, so don't even bother sitting down:
==================================
Psalm 1 (The Napper's Psalm) -- The Book of Goat
Look well to this nap
For it is the rests of sleeps
In its brief course lie all
The relaxation and dreams
Contained in our existence
The bliss of unconscious ignorance
The glory of non-action
The spendour of snoring
For the previous hour is but a memory
And the post-nap time fifteen minutes away
But a nap well taken now
Makes that after-nap reality
A journey of happiness
And makes every tomorrow
So much less onerous
Amen
================================
I have argued at work to have them bring in nap time. So far, they haven't listened to me despite most of my fellow employees being behind me 100%. Rotten barstards.
Anyhoo. See you tomorrow-ish. Hugs and stuff. | |
|
om
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 2720 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/22/2006 10:57:55 AM | Hay yall, I so do like coming here and reading the lighter sides of life :)
As the weekend ends,
it's back to work,so sorry,
but I do agree!
Naps, should be man-datory. :)
Toodles | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/22/2006 5:19:49 PM | So I am watching the Comedy Network...and this comedian says...
"I remember when harass was two words".....
Me too...
Doesn't that say it all about PC???
and now I will just go and wipe the Pinot Grigio offa the tv
Night youse all
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/22/2006 7:17:07 PM | Hi there all...
You bet cha, Pickles - - Phffftt, to the whole PC thing--- harass remains two words.
Greets to you, Om - - You can’t take life too seriously, or it will throw you on your a***
Great Sermon, Sweet Goat - - You never fail to amaze me :-)
~~
I inhale
One simple breath
Inside a quiet thought
I exhale
Memories held inside
With Each movement
I rest
In the stillness
Of time
~~
Nght all | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/23/2006 3:41:26 PM | Ah...Breathing...effortlessly lovely, just like you.
She's scurrying around the kitchen preparing the last little bits of our evening meal. Busy busy busy...
As for me...well...I had the last Feargal poem in mind, but it wasn't to be today. Another time. Today is Election Day in Canukistan...we just came back from the polling station and may tune in to see what hell we hath wrought with our votes.
So..a fitting poem came to mind.
=============================
A Turgid Poll
Cast your ballots, cast your vote
Upon little pencils, time will dote
"Election Day" would be funny as hell
If we put an "R" in place of the "L"
==============================
Okay...time to feed and sleep. The goat is still under the weather...flu, not beer. It's a weekday, dammit, and I have my scruples -- they're hanging right off my ass.
Okay...g'night! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/23/2006 4:43:20 PM | Good Evening fellow barn dwellers...
Hope all is well and everyone has replaced the air freshners,seems now that breathing is in the picture goat has forgotten to get the maid to come in for at least the montly cleaning...
Anyways.....just a drop and run for tonight...this was in my head last night but was to lazy to get out of bed to write it down, luckily it came back to me...I so hate when that happens, you have a good one and then it's lost...lol
take care see you all later...
Feeling today...
I found it harder then I thought today
helping you at your place
seemed to me the past was there
being thrown in my face
There were a lot of memories
I know it was hard for you to
trying to let go of the past
but it was something you had to do
I just thought it was all done
but finding some of her things there
made my heart start to clench
and my mind become full of fear
Been over a year and you moved on
so I thought because you were with me
but the past was still present today
this I could clearly see
I felt lost and on my own
didn’t know where I was to be
were you still longing for the past
or really wanting to be with me
Then it hurt my heart even more
when we moved your things on base
another reminder thrown at me
that we were not sharing a place
Today seemed to be a day
of feelings so scary and strong
feelings of being pushed away
how can my heart be so wrong?
Its telling me loud and strong
that my heart belongs to you
have to find a way somehow
to make my mind believe this to......
Miz | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 1/23/2006 8:22:48 PM | Made the X and exited
Really felt I would make a difference
That with my vote I could espouse my vociferous views
Old news...and sad...
Seems the popular vote don't mean more
Than a bag of beans
So I will slide back into political apathy
My passion is not what it used to be
Give me a hot dog instead | |
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