| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/8/2006 5:52:48 PM | Hello all. Hello barn-dwellers and other fellers. Hello to the lurkers and blue-collar workers.
Good to see you all. No, I'm not drunk. I've had a cup of coffee and that's it.
(Oh, and it's Breathing's birthday...wish her a happy one but don't say I told you to do it.)
And speaking of Breathing...lovely poem from a lovely gal. Thank you so much, m'dear.
Hello and welcome back to Charming...good to know that things are going well with you these days. Kids can keep a body busy and I've heard they can change a person's life forever. I'm not a great fan of children -- sure, I like them fine but at a distance. Sorta like bagpipes and marching bands. Keep dry and thanks for coming by to the barn! Take care of yourself and the little 'un.
A poem? Well, I happen to have one with me stuffed into the band of my shorts.
This one came from a discussion of what is the proper term for the noon meal -- lunch or dinner?
================================
Screw the Name, Let’s Eat!
If there is only dinner and never any lunch
Something could be missing but that’s just a hunch
Now if there is lunch and it immediately follows dinner
Would that make the workday a little thinner?
Although two midday meals would be where it’s at
The extra caloric intake would make us fat
That noon-eating ritual is so deeply ingrained
Does it matter what name can be arranged?
I, for one, will not think of anyone as a sinner
If you have lunch and not any dinner
And I would also respect you a bunch
If you took your dinner instead of your lunch
===================================
So, there you have it. A perfectly vague answer.
G'night, eh? | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/8/2006 6:30:18 PM | G'Day G'day .......
Howdy to ya, Charming and to the lil' one - - Nice poem ya left, i am sure she will bring you hours upon hours of contentment...
Dearest Goat - - y'ar a fine man, with a swift humour
~~
Thoughts scented with
Lupines
Resting
In the quiet spaces
Of my mind
~~
Gotta run, see ya all later | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/8/2006 6:34:53 PM | I’m supposed to be lying down
But there is to much humor going on
Goat is snorting out the coffee
Sounds like the making of a country song
Just wanted to say hiya to ya’ll in the Barn here
I’ll be back tomorrow if this hernia settles down!!!
Hugs
Sam | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/8/2006 7:49:02 PM | Hello Mari. A country song? I like the idea:
The goat is snorting coffee out his nose
While wearin' my ex-wife's pantyhose
That's all I have for now. That and a visual...brrr...them full-body shivers are a-comin'.
Hugs back atcha, eh?
See yer tomorrow. | |
|
om
|
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 2955 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:12:03 PM | Hiya all, yet more great toons here -your goat -got my goat.
Happy motherhood there Charming!
Breathing, very coooool!
although I had a quick thought, it went like this,
Thoughts scented with
Lupiness
Of the mind
Gotta run
lol, could be loopiness too I guess :)
Toodles | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/9/2006 4:09:37 AM | Good Morning everyone
Hope your all well, a happy belated to Breathing, hope your day was as wonderful as you and the year to follow is filled with lots of love laughter and wonderful memories...
Wasn't up to par yesterday, think me got fluid in the lungs, so kinda taking it easy to see if it gets better or if I must pay a visit to the old clinic....thats lots of fun, waiting around for an hour to see the doc for not even 5 mins..lol
Well I think we must create a country song about the goat....lol let's see what we can do with these lines..
The goat is snorting coffee out his nose
While wearin' my ex-wife's pantyhose
Black pantyhose and garter belt
while wearing these the best he's felt
The music is a playing legs are twitching
the goat is now doing the pantyhose itching
Seems that the goat has an allergy
to wearing his ex's black lingerie
Okay I am lost....lol next....
Talk to you all later on when my brain can actually work...
Bye
Miz  | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/9/2006 6:23:16 AM | Goats country song
The goat is snorting coffee out his nose
While wearin' my ex-wife's pantyhose
Black pantyhose and garter belt
while wearing these the best he's felt
The music is a playing legs are twitching
the goat is now doing the pantyhose itching
Seems that the goat has an allergy
to wearing his ex's black lingerie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He’s got a pink feathered boa
And a flamingo hat that glows
He painted his hooves black like pumps
But they look more like camel toes
On twitching legs he stumbles
Up to his Breating Dear
She says “oh honey”
‘you’re looking kind of queer”
Another sneeze of coffee
He couldn’t hold it in
And his gater belt started popping
From the stitching deep within
Snaps started flying
Like being shot out from a gun
And all you saw was Breathing’s back
As she sprinted in full run..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Next, LOL
Sam | |
|
om
|
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 2958 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/9/2006 11:16:53 AM | Every one,
the chorus now
He's got legs
Three to be exact
He's got hos
Keepin them intact
He's got pumps
Holding up his act
He's got coffee
All of which are black
------------------------------
oh its such a funny farm..:)
happy belated also breathing :) | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/9/2006 11:55:47 AM | The leader of the barn
is the old stinky goat
he has many tastes and likes
especially his leapord skin coat
We like the kind of goat he is
but are leary about his habits
from his garter belts and boas
to his lucky rabbits
He now has someone around
breathing is her name
and now that she is here to stay
things will never be the same
Her name is breathing
and we are so glad she is
because around the barn
that lingering smell is his
SORRY GOAT>>>lol...couldn't resist, I haven't been around much to bug you so had to drop a load per say here.....still luv ya | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/9/2006 5:50:15 PM | Hey Goat...was that you in the lingerie section at Zellers when they had the 2 for 1 specia......oops ....NEVER MIND.......
This is to be sung to the tune "Lucille" by Kenny Rogers....or not...up to youse guys
Ya picked a fine time to jolt him caffeine
It's late at night and the Goat wants to dream
The coffee he snorted
Has made him feel distorted
15 denier ain't what it seems
Gives you crotch rot when mixed with Caffeine
(in reference to spillage this week)
Remiss....A very happy belated to you Breathing....
I trust the celebration will continue into the weekend
Charming...daughters you got to love them...good to see you back.
Mari, Kat, Miz, Rory, Longte et al
Hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/9/2006 6:27:38 PM | Howdy you crazy barn folk .....
Great tunes in this old barn. Y'all reckon it's time for a barn dance ?? Put on your best party dress and pull up a bale... And Goat , well, just come as y'ar!!
See ya there....
Thanks so much for the Birthday wishes...Some days I feel like I'm gettin old, but the Goat keeps me young ;-)
~~
Twilight eyes gazing
Toward a salt water moon
Hands of time unfold
~~
Night all | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:08:27 PM | Hello all. Looka all thet thar traffic here in this barn. Good to see you all here.
Om...like your quick thought and I think Breathing would send you those lupine-things that are out on the deck right now, losing their scent potency. Man, that's some strong-smelling lupinatic stuff.
Miz...hello there and good to see you again. Love the start to the country song idea Mari had. It's an idea that inspired me as well, as you'll see later. It don't matter if the mind is empty or full or in some in-between state...bring it here. My mind is on empty all the time and it never stops me.
Mari..heh heh...lovely! A pink boa? I prefer the steamy red ones, to be honest. Love the song and thank you for the idea. We're getting a lot of mileage out of it.
Om...jumping in with the chorus. Everybody now! I did sing along too.
Miz...you made me laugh with more. A leopard skin coat and I think some bright pink lipstick and a fake-n-bake tan would set it all off. Who can resist this cross-dressing country song madness? I can't.
And Pickles...that wasn't me at Zellers. I was at Value Village in the "gently used" lingerie section. You get 5 for 1 if there's skid marks in 'em. Very good to see you here again and I hope you're doing well.
Okay...here's what I got. It was based on a real live song that's stuck in my head.
Giddyap!
=====================================
It Smells Worse than a Tray of Cheese
(Loosely based on “Way Over Yonder in the Minor Key” by Billy Bragg, Wilco & Natalie Merchant, with apologies only to Billy Bragg)
I once knew a goat from ol’ Muskagee
I fed him a pot of cold coffeee
But then he became fond of me
And followed me back to my Jeep Cherokee
He stunk worse than mouldy cheese
The smell would make you wheeze
Oh, li’l goaty can’t you see?
I can’t keep you here with me
My ma would turn me over her knee
And she’d shoot you with a .303
Because you stink like mouldy cheese
And the smell killed your own fleas
No detergent could clean you with ease
Because you stink like mouldy cheese
The smell would bring you to your knees
Because you smell worse than mouldy cheese
But this is how the story goes
I dressed that goat up in old pantyhose
I laughed and sprayed coffee out my nose
Because I couldn’t get his bra clasp closed
And he smelled like mouldy cheese
That smell would bring you to your knees
My ma caught me in mid-wheeze
Then she cut a switch from the hickory tree
That stung a lot worse than a hive of bees
But it didn’t stink like mouldy cheese
It didn’t stink like rotten cheese
And I didn’t pause to wheeze
Then she said: “The goat is no more!”
And she booted his pantyhosed ass out the door
I dropped him off on the corner of Wentz and Fourth
Now he makes money as a ten-dollar whore
But he still stinks like cheese
And gets mounted from behind with ease
====================================
It ain't pretty, but it'll work. Thanks to all! Even the lurkers!
(Hello Breathing-dear...let's hit the showers, eh?)
G'night, folks...keep the smiles coming! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:16:42 PM | LMAO 
Oh my Goat, that was awesome!!!!
Breathing, tell us true, doe he favor the pink, red or blue?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha
Sam | |
|
longte
|
Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 2964 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:17:41 PM | Poor Breathing
Scrubbing the Goat for her birthday
..
.
Those undies with the skid marks
at 5 for 1 sound cheap
Pity people who had them
had a tendency to leak
Breathing if you dare
to shower with the Goat
better bring a scrubbing brush
with carbolic soap
Maybe could be better
if scraping round his tush
go out to the barn first
to grab the wire brush
..
.
Lurking away quietly now
..
. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:19:42 PM | Thinking I might have to quit reading this until they fix this hernia, LMAO
God, you guys are killing me!!!!!!
Sam | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:28:21 PM | Sam is about to bust a gut
While thinking of Goat and used panty hose
Girl you better get a truss
Before your hernia grows and explodes
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:31:15 PM | Hey goat....
Were they lilac with saggy leg elastic???????
They were????
Hey ....
Goats wearing my knickers
He's wearing my cacs
Brown bits down the middle
No elastic to keep 'em up!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:33:37 PM | I never thought I’d get the chance to say
That ya could sit on my lap and talk about the first thing to pop up!!!
Hahahahahahahahahahahhahaha
Pickles, you shouldn't be laughing that hard yet either
 | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:35:28 PM | Da fine ole' Goat; He does prefer red, but, shhh ----- tis a secret
A good Scrubbing for the Ole Goat's butt, never miss a day ...(wire brush in hand)... I just gotta make sure I don't get hit with a big loud smelly one ...Ya see, that and the steam don't mix well...phewwwww...
Still breathing
Well, now it is good night, gotta run
Thankfully, tomorrow is Friday!!!
Beers all around? | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:43:16 PM | I gots the Pickles knickers
I took 'em off her bed
I gots me a feathered boa
And it's fire-engine red
My butt's scrubbed clean
That's not the best part
To Breathing I wasn't mean
When I blasted her with that fart
G'night you crazy kids. Pickles, watch those staples...I have more if you need them. A steady hand, a staple gun and a couple of beers and I can have you back in shape in no time.
Mari...you're a nut! Bless your heart!
(PS: Howdy Longte...you ol' Dragon you!)
I'm taking it to bed now...never mind what that is..g'night! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:46:08 PM | I swear Goat, it was the evil twin, she locked me up and stole the keyboard!!!!
Sam | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/10/2006 4:26:27 AM | God I love this thread, no wonder I have been around for some time now, it's a place where you can unwind and let things go, and I am not talking about farts...no sir it wasn't me....lol
I just wanted to say to all my friends, mari,pickles,breathing,goat,rory,longte and anyone else I have missed, thanks for always making my refuge the barn a wonderful place to go to when things get rough or when I just need to breathe.....
Miz | |
|
om
|
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 2973 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/10/2006 8:06:27 AM | Hiya all, Just a morning dump...Tis a tickle coming here indeed!
This is partly inspired by breathing, and breathing:) good day eh!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes
When I'm alone
I Imagine
.........I'm Floating...........
.......In warm water.........
.........Effortlessly............
And I look up at the blue sky
And It looks back at me
And says
"You have all the time In the world now" | |
|
om
|
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 2974 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/10/2006 2:02:12 PM | bin wasting my day away today reading... stumbled on this one I forgot about, thought it may resonate a bit here/hear breathing...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Silence is not always golden,
for it needs its balance too,
noise is its accompaniment,
be it sweet, or brutal sooth.
Both are there, but some may miss,
noises to be found,
for deaf hears not, like silence speaks,
to ears that have no sound.
---------------------------------------------
good weekend folks | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/10/2006 6:52:10 PM | Ya know.......
Carbolic on Carbuncles
Makes em point a head
Scrub with a wire bristle brush
And "POP" they will explode
Thats all today dears for your basic first aid course
Swot up tomorrow on Haemorrhoids....
More really neat home remedies to come
 | |
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