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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 3001 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/17/2006 5:33:04 PM | Lurking into another another thread I wrote this little gem
But I think it deserves a nice home
Couldn't think of anywhere nicer for it
..
.
I think Im done in this my fun, show me what you got.
for I've been writing lots of junk, just like runny snot
dripping as a living mess from my left nostril
thick and green; so unclean; much like old road kill
but it has its uses; though some of them are gross
can be left for breakfast, on the old bed post
or as a type of glue; where it works a treat
on your hand as welcome; for people that you meet
If you need a hair mousse, for latest fashion craze
try the stringy bits; they'll stay there for days
like the fur ball in my navel, without it I'd be sad
actually after all, its really not too bad
..
. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/17/2006 5:52:25 PM | Hiya Barn Dwellers!!!!!
Just a quick stop in to read, then it's back in bed for me!!!!
Hugs
Sam | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/17/2006 8:30:08 PM | Hello all..not much time tonight. Suffice to say, this will be a post n' run night. Longte cracked me up with his offerings...both of them.
Miz...we all go through ups and downs. Go through all with grace and know that without the highs and lows, you have a life as flat as the prairies. Someone I meditiated with for years told me that one. Bless you for the poem.
Hello Mari..snuck in there, did ye?
Om...pardner...you can pop in any old way you like. Love the writes. You do inspire me more than you know, boss.
Okay...something spontaneous...
========================
A poem is a fragile thing that is tough to compose
Like a dandelion or a stinkweed is compared to a rose
To generate a suitable rhyme is a bit of a chore
To keep it sounding fresh and not so much a bore
I shall sally forth and I shall yet prevail
Against a lazy brain that does incessantly wail
So here's a wee verse, something that may sound good
It ain't much but it's the best in this neighbourhood
=============================
Except for Longte, Miz and Om. I bow to your poetic prowess.
I get sleepy when I bow to your prowess...see youse tomorrow, eh? G'night! | |
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om
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 3004 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/18/2006 9:55:41 AM | good Saturday all, well it is here..!
I had some fun with this one..I don't play by all the rules cause I don't know them yet but
inspired by your poem at top goat 'Just Reading'..
An idiot poem
This is an idyl poem, done by my idiot
Set in a time when my dots ruled the period
I have no idea, sometimes, about potery language and its usage
And sometimes, I drop letters from the some of their wordage
Dropped the "I"s in idiot once and what I got was dot
So I used the dot to finish what I thought was a thought(dot)
Then I forgot the last 3 letters one time and ended up with squat
But I figured the first 2 letters must apply to something I forgot
I decided the first 2 letters need 3 more and came up with idiom
And that sounded better than id, but needed meaning some
So idiom became a kind of word usage and now has a home
But the last time I used it, I forgot the first 3 letters and ended up with om
Thank goodness there is only one letter in I, I mean, who could forget that
Even the small ones, with the dot, seem to know where it's at
And besides, the "I",s, are never mistaken and are always in need
Like in idyl idea to id and idiom, all of which this idot poem decreed. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/18/2006 1:15:27 PM | Good afternoon from Ohio!
There are alot of barns in Ohio, but none quite like this one. I luv the stuff I see here , the sense of comraderie and playfulness. Bestiality of the brain. No one seems to take them selves too seriously. I really like that.
So I may start contributing some of my brain droppings.
The following poem happened after I thought I had pissed off a friend and poet I had been corresponding with. (I misunderstood a poem of his that he sent -it turned out that all the nasty stuff in the poem was directed to someone else.) I sent it to him as a sort of good-bye. After all, most of relationships come to an end eventually. Still it tore me up inside to think I wouldn't get any more emails or shared poems from my friend, the dark poet:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
to live a life without regret
to live a life without regret
without looking back and wondering if
a different path could have been taken
with different choices or better yet
making a choice, not just letting things fall…
to live such a life would truly grand
but does it really matter at all?
perhaps there is a god above
who sits alone with tastes so bland
unsated by toy and furious hand
never pausing to think or have regrets
if a planet dies because he forgets
which time or place or species exists
since it doesn't really matter at all.
should i care if another day goes by
and i never hear from my friend again?
there are too many reasons not to cry,
to not regret thoughts and words gone awry.
so many others are just as worthy to know but then
there's a knot in my stomach; it would be a lie
if i said that it doesn't matter at all.
sands of time do e'er fall quickly
(yes, this observation is a posteriori)
last year i realized i was coasting to the grave
and at once colors became vivid that once were gray
awaken'd from a fog, i vowed to seek joy and fulfillment
the meaning of life, truth and enlightenment
because lost time really doesn't matter at all.
i had to laugh when you called me a saint
knowing who i am and knowing clearly what i ain't...
an order to which i could never be a part
if they would admit someone with my wicked heart.
so if you feel i have violated your trust
falling short of your expectations, then move on you must.
i can't tell you if it matters at all.
"bring it on" are words i utter nearly ev'ry day
life is hell, yet i smile anyway
not 'cause jesus loves me, not because i pray
or meditate to clear my thoughts with alpha waves
but because a dark poet's thoughts have entered my own
a clarity of logic that is chilling to the bone
and i still don't know if it matters at all.
i will always love your poetry even when it cuts
me like a knife and makes me bleed, no ifs and buts
about it, your precisely crafted words do compell.
i sometimes wish i did not understand them so well,
a bliss of ignorance to be denied me
except in silence…
so please tell me:
does it matter? does it really matter after all? | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/18/2006 8:08:19 PM | Hello all...another post n run night for me. Yeah, I know...will I ever write real poems again? Most likely, but not this week.
Greets to Om...well done sir! You may yet provide the inspiration for me to lift myself out of these poetry doldrums I have gotten myself into.
Welcome to violettestarr...thanks for posting in the barn. Saskatchewan is littered with barns (some are leaning like drunks in a stiff wind) but there is only one poetry barn and eatery. Glad you enjoy the posts here...'tis a friendly place. The fellow barn-dwellers are a good lot and are very skilled at poetry. This wouldn't be half the place it is without their efforts.
Can you imagine how boring it would be if there was only the goat in the barn? Ig.
Alrighty...let's get a haiku for this night. The usual Sunday sermon will arrive tomorrow...promise.
Okay..let's see...
=====================
Upgrading a Dell
Is like shaving angry cats
Butter knife in hand
====================
I swear Dells are worse than Gateways ever could be. Urgh. Still, I will prevail!
But enough of that...to sleep, perchance to dream.
G'night! | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 3007 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/19/2006 12:43:45 AM | ""Is like shaving angry cats
Butter knife in hand""
Just Lurking past and was inspired once more by His Goatiness
Ah Dear Goat seems like me
you think shaved cats are nice
that way there are no fur balls
when served up nicely spiced
Even though a little stringy
with ginger they're delicious
just be careful while collecting
don't act too suspicious
Best way is to kitten sit
tell the owners that it died
for kittens are more tender
especially when fried
keep them in a cage
Do Not feed them fish
leaves a slight taint behind
ruining any dish
Of course, a big old tom cat
is much better as a curry
but can be ok on a BBQ
if you're in a hurry
Siamese are bitter sweet
but persians are devine
roasted slowly with an apple
if you have the time
One thing you must tell me
to add to my delight
how exactly do you shave them
just with a butter knife
I've always used a blowtorch
but Dear Goat, that stinks
they often try to run away
no matter what me thinks
I feel that the butter knife
could be really good for skinning
must enjoy my supper now
Here kitty kitty kitten
...
..
.
Special This Week Only
Cheap rates for Kitten Minding
Short Time only
Don't Miss Out
..
. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/19/2006 1:07:36 AM | PRELUDE TO A SERMON
Sunday morning, and the barn-folk are here,
Getting over last night's fourteen quarts of beer.
The pews are creaking, grumbles issue from parishioners
Who moan they need sustenance from The Lawd's kitchen. Theirs
Is overflowing with empty liqueur bottles and crackers.
They drank and pissed so much, they have aching knackers.
From the back-bench-- Lo ! -- it is the Goatish One garbed
In officious Barnery get-up: he looks like a hungover rhubarb
Left too long in a deep dish pie. But the sermon starts:
"Lo !...." and the sitters begin "mooing" with compliant hearts.
"No, no, my good flock, not 'lo' as in what cows do.
I mean, 'listen up', for I have a rambling preamble for the Crew.
One in which I'll lead Hymn four-oh-nine
About a ruminating sheep who was all a-pine.
It came upon a clearing, and went 'baaaaaaahhhh bahhh' so loud
That it woke up the dead in their ancient shrouds.
The latticework shook on the windows burnished;
And it kick-started the creepy steamy noises of the furnace.
Bats flew upside-down into the rafters
And a cow dropped a new-born-- a baby calf, hers.
An antelope mated with an orangutan
And the crickets committed suicide against the ceiling-fan.
The bull lay down with the mouse and parakeet,
And a blizzard in July left behind three feet of sleet.
What's this have to do with religious instruction, you may ask?
Beats me, just thought I'd share my dreams with you, a tall task,
I admit, listening to the ravings of a defrocked ex-minister with the DTs.
But it's better than pissing off a football field of angry bees.
So-- to conclude with my incomprehensible braying to the gullible:
I must leave the lectern and shave off this grey and matted stubble.
Amen." | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/19/2006 4:34:24 AM | Hark! I hear the voices of little children singing from the Sunday School:
The farmer and the Dell
The farmer and the Dell
Shrieking, screaming naked cats
The farmer and the Dell.
Standing in the Barn
Standing in the Barn
Upgrading's surely degrading as Hell
Standing in the Barn | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/19/2006 5:11:36 AM | Good Morning everyone....
Rory, your wonderful always giving us a prelude to the sermon....well done...
Longte, I think my dragon you need something to take your stomach away from kittens, lately I think the dragons appetite just hasn't been fulfilled...lol
Goat and breathing, two of my favorite people, hope your both doing well...
And a big howdy to all the other barn dwellers, I am in my corner, it is the nicest smelling one, I just replaced the air freshners...lol
Well My life has been kinda wirlwind lately, I have found a little bit of inner peace, but got a long way to go, so things have changed, and writing is one of them, been doing more, because my feelings have been coming out, but since my mind has been working, I wrote this thanks to rory for inspiration...lol
Well Sunday has arrived again
and we all know what that means
our dear pastor the goat
will arrive in is cut off jeans
What a sight for the eyes
first thing in the morn
a hairy goat with jeans on
with places that shouldn’t be torn
Oh the goat loves to prance per say
and show off his stuff
and for us to stomach what he shows
we have to come to church feeling rough
So we party all night long
and drink our 14 beers
but always come to the barn
to hear what we need to hear
The goat makes us laugh
with his sermon for the weeks end
and we look forward to sundays
because that means sat we go on a bend
So thank you goat for your sermons
but please cover up some holes
and no I don’t think it would be wise
to put in a stripper pole....
Miz  | |
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om
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 3011 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/19/2006 9:22:05 AM | LOL ,What a Joyious ambiance thy barn members create!
Oh Lard, Thy followers await with humour in bellies
Anticipating thy sermon prefered over tellies
All the cats have been taken aside
And all the pews have been bleeched for the ride
Please Lard show us the way
As we all begin to pray today
*Bows head, scratches bum, genuflects*
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/19/2006 11:31:29 AM | Good day fellow followers.....
‘Tis good to see y’all in such fine form; the talent that hangs on these walls astounds me..
Thy Lard is occupied, for the moment...I believe he is contemplating the weekly Sermon, or farting up a storm !!
~~
Wandering about this day
I hear the snow fall
Stillness fills the air
~~
Have a fine sunday, my barn yard friends........
I shall leave and make way for thy lard himself....
*Drum roll*
..................```````````...........~~~~~~~ | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/19/2006 12:38:56 PM | Hello all. Sorry I'm late...got a little busy here with household stuff. Y'know, those things that one can never attend to during the week and it all gets pushed into Sunday. Yep..that stuff.
But I'm here now and I see many people have come in and warmed up the crowd.
Longte...you slayed me with that last one and I'm honoured have been the inspiration for it. I do like the taste of free-ranging cats, especially if they were someone's pet. You can taste the trust in every bite. Yum!
Rory...heh heh...I love that one. That should be read aloud before every Sunday sermon. I'm still trying to visualize the hungover rhubarb, though. I have a vision of something wilted in my head. Good to see you, pardner!
Violettestarr...glad you could come here for the sermon. I dread to think what Sunday school would be like at the Church of the Immaculate Ruminant...erf... Very good to see you here.
Miz..also good to see you here and Breathing and I appreciate you as well. Hang in there...we're all here for you and the barn stands here because of you. We don't keep you around just to kepe the bales down...you are a valued part of my on-line experience.
Om...scratch away and make sure to sniff your fingers after. It's only way to make sure things are going alright in the Holy Hole.
Breathing...ah, you...you are the best of the best. Her beer is getting warm as she's wrapped up in a game on the other PC. Lovely...
Okay, the sermon is ready and will be delivered like a wrathful pizza. Be ready in a few seconds.... | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/19/2006 12:39:18 PM | Psalm 371 – The Book of Goat
Thy Lard sayeth
(After a beer or two
Hath flowed
And spread their warmth
And general Well-being
Through Him)
Be kind to your neighbours
Do forgive their transgressions
Even if those transgression involve
The purely retarded actions
Of
Cranking up the Britney Spears
On Thy stereo at 9:00 am
Sunday morning
Until the bass shakes the floorboards
The cups in the cupboards
The pictures on the wall
The fillings in Thy Lard’s mouth
But this is a new transgression
Compounded with the Other Transgressions
Like:
(And Thy Lard hath never seen any of it take place
Though He hath heard many things
And relies totally on His own Imagination)
Building medium-to-large-pieces
Of furniture
Noisily
With a tackhammer
During the evening hours
Then
Draaaaaggging it across the floor
Noisily
During the evening hours
And then
Noisily
Disaaaemble it
With said tackhammer
And crowbar
And make furious love
(To the delight of his family)
To the splintered bits
Noisily
During the evening hours
Until Thy Lard beats on the ceiling
With His
Trusty (and bent – if you know what Thy Lard means)
Three Iron
Most Noisily
Until Mr. Asspipe gets a clue
And quiets down
But Forgiveness is the topic today
(And the beer doth help a Great Deal)
So, Thy Lard…forgives His neighbour
Reluctantly
And hopes he had a Very Nice Time
Listening to Britney at top volume
While wearing his thong
And dancing
Most likely oiled up in safflower oil
Singing away in some mad
“God-how-can-my-wife-leave-me-now?”
Mad mid-life crisis
Until he begins to weep
And masturbates (again)
Furiously
With both hands
While “Hit Me Baby One More Time”
Ricochets off all the floor joists
As Mr. Arse-Pudding-For-Brains
Absolutely ignores every other person’s right
To a quiet Sunday morning
Forgive they neighbours transgressions
But let thy imagination roam free
And thy words shall tumble
Like beer from a stein
Amen | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/19/2006 8:08:42 PM | Look.....
Can we have a moratorium on Sermons from the Lard until AFTER my post op check????
There is a new breed
On the prowl out there
Hands free
Without a care
Looking like Spock
Until you get near
And you realise
The thing in their ear
That they think makes them
Look oh so smooth
Is an obnoxious, nasty
Wireless Blue Tooth.
So who the hell decided to call them Blue tooth????
And if you have one in each ear are they teeth????
Also....who the fuk invented those hex keys that IKEA uses???????????????
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/20/2006 3:46:39 PM | Hello all. Good to see you here on this lovely Monday.
Hello to Pickles...I see these people too, roaming the streets. Sometimes they pause and shout commands to it like: "Call Mike!" They never think that, after shouting the same command, they could have dialed the number manually a hundred times. Blue Tooth dorks.
Sorry about injuring you yesteday, my dear. I had issues with the man upstairs and his noisy ways. I hope your organs are still on the inside. If they aren't, place them in a jar and call a physician immediately.
Okay...a poem?
========================
A Tale of Glove Lost
There was this tale of one lost glove
A hand was left cold because of it
The other one was left alone for lack of love
Its owner, distraught, would have none of it
So, abandoned, it sat on a shelf
Bereft of hand, of want, in a depressed fog
It leapt from its perch in sacrifice of self
Into the mouth of the family dog
Chewed, rendered, reduced to small bits
The dog truly had its way
The owner was reduced to having fits
She found the lost glove the next day
==========================
Inspired by a true story overheard at work. As far as I know it is not copyright.
See youse tomorrow, eh? | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/20/2006 9:00:35 PM | Walkies!!!!!!!!!
She loves that sound
Tail wagging
Bounces up and down
Off we go
My dog and me
Got a leash thats like a bungee
Trots along at a good pace
Sniffs and sniffs..aha here"s the place
Doggie dumps are really huge
All that fibre in their food
As a good citizen
She poops I scoop
Using a baggie
From No Frills Food
OMG I don't believe it
Bloody bag had a hole in it
I have fingers covered in Doggy Sh1t
From now on her diet will be liquid
YEW...happened today.......
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 3018 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/20/2006 9:30:55 PM | Yes Miz I've missed your brownies
Have you ever noticed
just how some people slip
their fantacies into their poems
just to give a hint
So if I'm correct
and we Dragons are quite wise
could be that a strippers pole
is one of Miz desires
so not only cooking browies
to keep this Dragon happy
please Goat put in the pole
lets see more of this lady
..
.
Lurks over into the corner
Putting two bales on top of each other
Must get the seating right
..
. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/21/2006 4:49:33 PM | Hello to the lurkers and posters
Good one, Longte...Don't fall of those bales, eh!?
Pickles - - I hope you are recovering in comfort? Nothing like dog dung....
The Goat is occupied with the other PC ,,, I do believe he is creating a masterpiece...I'm sure he will be along, later! Y'ar the best, Me'love.
~~
Fragments of a life
Splatters of coloured rainbows
Forgotten in time
~~
Have a good night........................ | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 3/21/2006 5:35:50 PM | Hello all. Hello barn-dwellers. Hello lurkers.
Okay...the pole is installed. Now we just need a big ol' plate of Miz's brownies and some of my special Kool-Aid. Let's turn this thing out, ya'll.
Just a post n' run tonight. But first, quick greets to:
Pickles...I'd shake your hand for that last one, but it's -- well, you know. Walkies! C'mon and get your leash, small mammal! Heh heh...
Longte...I don't know when Miz will show up, but it may be in a wee while. The pole I put in is a little unsteady, but it may suffice for a short evening show.
Breathing...I doubt if it will be a masterpice, since I wrote it at work. But bless you for thinking so. Ya'ar the best!
Okay...poem...engage...
============================
Dunno What This Is
The universe cracked today
Just enough to let spring in
The Earth tilted
Right on time
Just enough to allow light in
Winds blew
Heralding, in gusty triumph,
The coming of warmth
Rain
Herbicide commercials on TV
They all point to seeding season
In damp fields
The universe cracked today
Just enough to let the cold out
And the dogs of summer in
===========================
Something started at work and then spontaneously finished right here -- before your very eyes. With no pants. Or socks.
Stunning, no?
Heh heh...see you guys tomorrow. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery - celebrate the equinox
Posted: 3/21/2006 6:32:05 PM | GoatPoet-
I enjoyed you crack at observing the Vernal Equinox. It is a good thing that the Earth still behaves and tilts as it should. Who know if it will continue to do so for time eternal. Yes, the universe did crack today!
Here is my own little tribute to the equinox:
Longer days
Follow the equinox vernal
I continue to be amazed
By the sun and the moon
And the elegance of the dance
As we mark another day in solar orbit.
Thirteen months
Each of 28 days
Only bureaucrats will tell you to count a dozen
As they climb in their cars
They look not at the stars
They are blind to the beauty of the heavens. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery - celebrate the equinox
Posted: 3/21/2006 8:26:52 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Great stuff Violet....may I plagiarize????????????
Hugzzzzzzzzz to all Barnacles
Crab cakes
Baked
For tea
Heavenly
Salad on the side
My taste buds have died
An orgasmic death
Bon appetite a tous
Bissous  | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery - let's borrow each other's rhyme
Posted: 3/22/2006 3:20:15 PM | Hello there Pickles!
I think we should all flatter each other's skill with words by borrowing them freely. Any one who has peeked at my profile knows that I admit to being a "borrower of rhyme".
That is the fun of sharing poems online , n'est-ce pas? To inspire, to find inspiration, and if you can't find inspiration, to find a thought that you can take to the center of your being and make your own.
So flatter me with your best shot! | |
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longte
|
Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 3024 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery - let's borrow each other's rhyme
Posted: 3/22/2006 5:14:24 PM | ""So flatter me with your best shot!""
Very dangerous thing to ask in the Barn Violette
This is too good an opportunity to pass up
BEWARE;;;; there be Dragons out there
To batter with my best shot
lets see what I can find
in the foetid mess
some may call my mind
few will say that flattery
can be quite obtuse
but I feel that battery
could be rather worse
depending on the mixture
and how it is fixed
must ensure your batter
is always nicely mixed
first you try the texture
to see what you've got
should be smooth yet sticky
just like perfect snot
Dragons like our crunchy bits
so hot oil in the pan
drop them in there quickly
do the best you can
watch out for the splashes
as they try to flee
now you have the secrets
to perfect battery
...
..
.
Sorry but was getting a trifle bored waiting for Miz to come Pole Dancing
Better crack another beer
and Wait
and Wait
and Wait
..
. | |
|
om
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 3025 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery - let's borrow each other's rhyme
Posted: 3/22/2006 5:18:33 PM | ^^^*chuckles*hello all
Shall I flatter thee today Violette starr
One so bright she needs the second r
A best shot from this, a moments give
But I don't listen to her, Cause my head is like a sive..:)
````````````````````````````````````````````````
The last line is from a Cheech and Chongs song...he he
awe hell, why not...
````````````````````````````````````````````````
"My momma talked it to me tried to tell me how to live
But I don't listen to her cause my head is like a sive
My daddy he disowned me cause I wear my sisters cloths
Caught me in the bathroom with a pair of pantie hoes
My basketball coach done kicked me off the team
For wearing high heel sneakers and acting like a queen"
````````````````````````````````````````````````
all I can remember, in fact, I think thats the whole song..
toodles..:) | |
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