| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 8/4/2004 7:13:23 PM | Hey...busy, busy. I'll just stick this thing here and then I must be wandering away again. At least the beer's being paid for.
Holly...I'll only bother with your shoes if they smell bad enough. Dr. Scholl's foot powder gives me gas something fierce, too. Odor eaters do the same. I'm a picky barstard at times.
Here we go...sponatneous poem engaged:
==================
Oh, How I Wish
I wish I had a cold beer
Just one of them would do
I wish I had it right now
Being chilled in a slough
I wish I had a bag of Doritos
Something with unnatural cheese
Those chips that taste like feet
And sweaty Teamster knees
I wish I had more time to stay
To hang about for a while
To pal and knock about
This place is good for a smile
I wish the phone wouldn’t ring
Every minute, every time
It’s always someone from a former life
Calling to pule and whine
But, nice guy that I am
I’ll pick up the phone
And answer the questions, skeet-style
Dreaming to be left alone
With beer….sweet beer
And you guys, too.
Alas.
It rings again.
========================
Beer! Soon! Free! Must go!!
See you here tomorrow. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 8/5/2004 8:22:03 PM | Thanks Holly. Here's another while I have time:
====================
One Frozen Beer
It was the evening of August 4th
And I left a beer in the freezer overnight
Got a ring on the phone from someone all alone
And adios my little aluminum-encased amigo
I didn't remember it until this morn
And I saw it nestled with the steaks
It was as hard as brick and I felt like a prick
And I left it on the counter to return to liquid
Something in my mind told me to dump it
But I can't dump out beer, despite how suspect it is
So I let it thaw before dumping it into my maw
And let my gastro-instestinal tract deal with it later
You'd think I'd learn after drinking many frozen beers
That it adversely affects me in a peculiar way
But I'll drink it like a man and spend some time on the can
And let the gods have their way with me
It still sits on the counter running with sweat
Pooling in a condensed ocean underneath it
If I were bold, I'd drink while it's cold
And have a good book ready in the bathroom
===================================
No rest for the wicked. See you later... | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 8/6/2004 8:56:25 PM | Another busy day. Yick. Oh, Moon...make sure that's not a previously frozen beer. They make for some discomfort.
Well, I was inpsired on the way home. This poem should tell you why:
====================
One Man's Scrotum
I'm sure his wife told him to never
Wear those shorts
I'm also sure she told him to
Not sit like that
On the porch
After all, he's over 70
And no one really wants to see him
Sunning his oysters
But he didn't care, obviously
And she didn't know, certainly
I saw it on the way home
It hung in the heat
Like a Chinese lantern
Those tragic, spent figs
Grey hair haloed around it
Like something Raphael would paint
On a very bad day
And he sipped iced tea
And smiled broadly
At passersby.
==============================
Oh, yeah. It was a sight to behold, alright. Well, see you tomorrow.
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 8/7/2004 9:50:50 AM | | wondering why i was unaware of goat's poetic tendencies....hmm. seems i need to venture out of off topic more, expand my horizons. also wondering what it is about a frozen beer that would cause such gastrointestinal chaos...and in a goat's digestive tract at that? funny thing about eating things we know we're going to pay for later........sometimes you're just compelled. garlic and i do not, on a any level get along....but put garlic bread in front of me and i'm a happy girl. that is until about 2 hours later when i'm lying in bed sweating and moaning....and sadly, not for any good reason. i swear to never touch the stuff again......but soon enough.....i'm reliving the horror all over again. i suppose that's the self distructive nature of humans. we're a silly lot. make no sense at all. funny we've made it this long. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 8/7/2004 11:36:12 AM | I discovered the frozen beer thing by accident one fine spring day. During a very cold November cabin party in the Yukon, I left a sixpack outside to chill in the snow and forgot about it. Three months of winter (the temp went down to -60 for a few weeks) later, I rediscovered that poor forgotten six pack.
Since it was almost liquid, I thanked the gods and cracked one and pounded it back.
30 minutes later, my body rejected the sweet nectar. It was nasty. Some people could drink it and have no real effects on them, but me -- well, my little gut doesn't like it much. Of course, I tried the same thing several times and the same results took place.
I'll probably do it again. I love beer that much. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 8/7/2004 11:39:56 AM | Well, I feel uninspired today. Here's a quickie:
===============
Amazing Grease
Around room temperature
It changes from a semi-solid
To a liquid
And it's always slick
And it always tastes like
Fish sticks
=================
A fresh poem everyday. Well, until I die or get kicked off this site....or this hard-drive crashes.
Tomorrow, then. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 8/7/2004 11:59:43 AM | hello goat!....sorry it took me so long to get my @ss back in here!....but I'm here now and plannin on lettin you and everyone know how you's have helped me by this next poem......
*HUGZZZ* to all that have helped!....thank you!.....could not have done it without any of you!....
MY FRIENDS
The friends I've made in this place
we call cyber space
has given me great strength
for the world I can face
They have lit candles for me
to see in my cell of dispair
could never thank them enough
to show them how much I do care
I'm not alone anymore in this
tormental world of feelings
I have company and we can help
each other with our heart dealings
True friends are very
hard to come by
but you's have proven
without them I would die.........
THANK YOU!....... | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 8/7/2004 10:43:47 PM | | Have always enjoyed reading this thread...budding talents every where..Keep writing Goat, evem if its a quickie (smile) | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 8/8/2004 9:56:38 AM | Thanks, matahari. You are too kind to my blunt poetry. But I do have fun, though. Man, do I. Inspiration comes from everywhere these days, even at 2:00 AM.
Well, have a look-see:
======================
A Groan in the Night
Around two in the morning
The walls here become paper-thin
You can hear the bugs in the open spaces
And you sure can hear the neighbour
He struggled like Sisyphus
In the bathroom
Insomniac and constipated to boot
He waged his war on one front
While losing the other
Perhaps he gained piece of mind
With a Herculean effort
Opened a new path to peace and quiet
With a grunt that disturbed the bugs
==========================
Where else can you read poetry about the hazards of frozen beer, 70 year-old scrotums and the properties of common grease? Right here, of course.
And Goth....I loved it. I didn't expect it from you, but it is greatly appreciated. Don't lose the happy thoughts and I'm honoured to have you here in this madhouse with me.
See you all tomorrow. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 8/9/2004 2:00:55 AM | | Won't call it blunt Goat..just 'one of its kind'...never know who reads this 'madhouse'....so keep writing... | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 8/9/2004 6:22:41 PM | Howdy all. Like usual lately, I won't be around much this evening. Other committments and all that rot, you see. Someone needs help getting their sump-pump going. One look at this poem and you'll understand why.
I mean....four years of bone-dry summers and then we get all the rain we need and more in three months. Crazy weather....
...grumble...
Anyway, spontaneous poetry engaged:
==========================
Damn, It’s Wet Out Thar!
It’s an odd drizzle
Thin, veil-like
The kind of weather you see
In gulag movies
The ground was steeped
In it’s own sodden self
For twenty hours before
I ventured out
I made the mistake to take
The alleys and side streets
And found the good earth
And lots of water
My arse is my fender
I shall not want
Except for a towel
The constant rain
Drowns out the busy roads
Muffles the insanity
Makes the colours stand
Out like beacons
The golden arches of McDonald’s
Beckoned like a shrine
In the slick wet morning
Since I am agnostic
I did not attend and instead
Picked gravel out of my shorts
And mud from my eyebrows
And likely suffered less
======================
Thanks to matahari for checking in to see if my bubble is level and for her kind words. Nice to see other folk here any time. There's a lot of quiet people in this madhouse...the lurkers are everywhere....oooooo....
Say hi sometime, you lurkers.
Er..yeah. Well, I'll be back tomorrow. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 8/9/2004 7:24:32 PM | | Yes, there are many people who browse this thread Goat. Just look at the no. of viewers..I always look at numbers, numbers never lie... | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 8/10/2004 5:38:49 PM | Yawwwnnnn...what a day. Foggy all morning and now a bit of sun has made its way through to my window. Man, I'm beat. Too much paper-pushing and not enough other stuff makes me a dull boy.
Matahari, I think I'll keep my head in the sack. It's warmer and quieter in there...of course, my arse hangs out like a target. I wonder if Bird will come along and boot it?
Hm...ah, well.
Here we go:
====================
Blah!
Uninspiration plagues me
To the point where
I make up words
I create such ditties
Like a tall dog
Can drop turds
Just look at that last bit
It sucks, as do I
With my tired mind
And frail body
Which I drag to the shower
And perhaps re-emerge
As a more enlightened being
=====================
I'll see you tomorrow....probably in a better and more vibrant mood, too. But I wouldn't bet the house on it.
Later.. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 8/11/2004 7:29:23 PM | Alas...all my company has left me again. Alone in my thread that feels as comfortable as my post-Thanskgiving dinner sweatpants. Stretchy and forgiving.
I have been inspired again by the most simple of things. Hold your noses:
======================
A Simple Joy
I love my own farts
I mean it
I really do
There’s nothing so satisfying
As a one-cheek sneak
At my desk
I almost pity those
Who walk into that miasma
It’s a methanic mix of
That morning’s Cheerios
Or that afternoon’s
Chicken salami and mustard
With a side of plums
Fermented and shaken well
Agitated by a half-hour
Bike ride
No one has questions for me
After lunch and instead
Prefer to call me on the phone
The new girl in HR
Never saw it coming, though
I hope her hair grows back
And I almost feel guilty
About her eyebrows
=====================
Sniff...sniff...do you smell that? I'll have to scrape that off with a stick.
Why, yes...I am a crude barstard. I'll see you tomorrow. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 8/12/2004 9:11:12 AM | let's give a shot...
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
-l-o-v-e- No. 1
Power button.
Start up.
Enter password.
OK.
Right click...
Open.
Edit...
Copy.
Edit...
Paste.
Save...
"gee!!!" ----> (just don't want to curse) <----
now that i like it and all i want is to save it...
"now this thing happens"...
Ctrl + Alt + Delete...
xoxoxoxooxoxox
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 8/12/2004 9:31:00 AM | i got this query... i'll just write it instead.....
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
IRONY
can too much sweetness become bitter
like the slightest coldness mourns the summer?
but the past could never be undone
as time can never go backwards once it has begun.
while i say that laughter is the mourner's brood,
we all think irony is always understood.
as a fool smiles in all his dephtless falls,
the deaf and reckless hear his calls.
can such still be an irony
taht shadow's darkness in a memory?
but if i say the sun is bright as the everdarkest night
as the blind possess the everclearest sight,
i could mean that days are nightmare's strategic clock
and he who's blind sees clearly black.
while i say that laughter is the mourner's brood
is irony really ever understood?
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 8/12/2004 5:58:02 PM | Good evening. I've noticed a missing element on the forums today. A dynasty has ended, died like communist Russia -- almost in it's sleep, collapsing under it's own weight. I don't know what will come after this change. Perhaps nothing, or perhaps a lot. Hard to say.
Bird...miss ya. Am I off the endangered species list?
========================
Everybody Heard About The Bird
There’s something missing
From the forums these days
He was blunt and direct
And didn’t take hugs
All that well
But, man
Could that Bird post
I thought he’d reach that
Magic ten-thousandth post
And retire with honours
But he self-destructed
Right here in front of all of us
The moderators have done
Their best to clean up the debris
But, there’s a bit around
Small bird-bits, tiny quips
Fragments of a personality
Too large to look for fish
Yup
There’s something missing
From these here forums
===============================
Hello to X Angel. I seem to get some very talented late-night visitors these days. My shack is your shack....remember, I just rent the space -- I don't own it. Feel free to come on by any old time.
Good to meet you, by the way.
Well, I'll be back here tomorrow. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 8/13/2004 10:19:02 PM | Hey. Fast poem. Late night. Short sentences. Tired now. Back soon.
=====================
Diggin' and Pickin'
My fingers explore the
Nooks and crannies
Of my odiferous self
Exploring, defying
The conventions of
North American cleanliness
My fingers are my
Substitute noses
Finding the stinky spots
And reporting them
To olfactory central
It’s more than a hobby
It’s a way of life
==================
Hi matahari! Good to see you again. A steady diet of my meanderings will leave you gassy...beware...
Thanks for the kind words, though.
Tomorrow, then. | |
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