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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:11:19 AM | Heh heh....Om, your boobs would be lovely if you had them. Heck, there are lots of ladies who would stand under your um-ber-ella...ella...ella...eh...eh..eh...
...sorry that stupid Rihanna song has been in my head for a few days now. I'll need some beer to wash that out.
Good to see Pickles, too. You're lookin' lovely these days.
And hello to all. Breathing and I are back from the Faraway Parts (tm) and I have a sermon for this lovely Sunday....are ye ready? Great:
==========================================
Psalm 370 – The Book of Goat
“Baby Shower”
Thy Lard hath heard this term
A few dozen times in His life
Yet did not really know what
The event Truly was
Thy Lard imagined something
And didst spake of it
During a lovely brunch with
The people who did not want to leave
The fine meal
And go
To this shower
Thy Lard imagined
An open and fenced yard
Trimmed grass, a table
Lawn chairs arranged in a semi circle
Facing to the back of the yard
There is a tree or two
A bush perhaps
And
A baby
It would be better if the child was
At the walking stage of his little life
But even crawling
The baby shower ritual can be performed
Picture a garden hose
With enough water pressure
To make it interesting
But not hurt the child
Picture the relatives, friends and well-wishers
(and perhaps the guests that were drafted)
Each taking turns showering the baby
With a good stream of water
You can see if the child can walk or run
That it would make the shower
Much more fun
There would be beer and food
And there would be no gifts to bring
That would be more fun that what
A baby shower actually is:
Enforced attendance
Mandatory gifts for the child or parents
Dull and lifeless food
(sandwiches without crusts are a true Abomination)
And a good part of the afternoon wasted
Oh, and get this:
The baby isn’t even there yet
Who’s going to be sprayed with the hose, then?
No, Thy Lard never has been to a baby shower
Likely, He never will
Oh, darn
Amen
==============================================
Okay....let's hurl ourselves into this lovely Sunday. Laters... | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:24:09 PM | Hello...just a quickie tonight. Today was a bit exhausting, yet I accomplished absolutely nothing...see?
==========================
My Agenda
I loaded a stapler
today
Fresh ammunition
For the joining
Of similar ideas
==========================
Good enough. G'night! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:37:25 PM | Evenin' all...just wandering by.
Hi Pickles! Love it. And it's good to see you out and about.
Here's something short I found in the garbage:
==============================================
While at an Italian Restaurant Managed by a Greek and Owned by a Chinese Family
He ordered Fellatio
It was on the menu
Covered in white sauce
With a tossed salad
At the end
===================================================
Yeah, that'll do. See yer tomorrow, eh?
G'night! | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 4880 | |
| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 6/25/2008 1:03:57 AM | Lurk Lurk
those Chinese can be very cunning linguists
But in a Greek restaurant???
Ming dynasty plate
offered at wedding feast
dare not break this one
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 6/25/2008 6:32:05 PM | Heh heh...Good to see you Longte. The Chinese are cunning linguists but the Italians are more renowned for their cunning stunts.
Here's another from the Pit of Penultimate Horror:
======================================
A Passing Observation
Slugs are like Teamsters
They’ll drink beer
Barely treading
Face down in amber pools
========================================
Bless the unions. They provide non-union folk like me with much entertainment.
To the showers and then the game will be on the telly. A lovely late-night footie snack for me and Breathing.
Ta! | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 4882 | |
| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:28:44 PM | Lurk lurk
Some have cunning stunts
That is not the best of it
others are sideways
[or so they say]
..
.
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 6/26/2008 10:22:44 AM | Belated Happy Birthday to Pickles
T0wering pines
Empowering tines
Forks in the road beckon
While I
Bumble blissfully ahead
Leaving the path completely
(off to the forest) | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 6/26/2008 5:56:57 PM | Unions, Management?
There Are Beni-fits!
I’m not sure who’s breading the lethargy
I should file a grievance against myself
I could go either way
Maybe schedule that in
After break
``````````````
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Happy BD, pickles | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 6/26/2008 7:41:28 PM | Happy B-Day to Pickles, too. When was it? Yesterday? Not today? No...
Happy birthday To Pickles!!!!
===========================
Like smoked Stilton
Or a fine bottle of wine
Good food and folk
They age oh so fine
============================
Hello to Longte (good 'un, mate), saltytowers (very good to see you tonight) and Om (always a pleasure...good luck on the grievance, eh?)
Oh, let's have a haiku now:
==============================
All I do is sweat
The heat of Saskatchewan
Dries out the farmers
==============================
Er...yeah...that's all I have. G'night! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 6/26/2008 9:03:14 PM | Ta all fer the wishes...'nother day 'nother wrinkle....ah well...
Just had ( three or four hrs ago!...feels like a just had) one of those surreal moments......German engineering is truly wondrous
A knock at the door by a total stranger
traffic backed up outside
is that your BMW she asked?....
it had taken itself for a ride!!!
sitting proudly in the middle of the road
as though it had a right
brand new sweet little coupe
gave its owner..
my neighbour..
a fright!
yeah standard and he didn't leave it in gear or with the emergency brake on...duh | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 6/27/2008 8:24:17 PM | Hello all and hello to Pickles. Good to see you here tonight...remember to keep that beemer leashed up at night, eh?
Tired today, so a quickie haiku is in order.
=================================
Things to be tethered
Like Jack Russel Terriers
Never too streetwise
=================================
Erf...me tired. Must sleep soon. G'night! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:38:00 PM | Hello all. Been busy here for the last few days. It's them crazy, hazy dazy o' summer here in the flatlands.
Breathing and I are still recovering from that 10km race we ran yesterday. I guess it wouldn't have hurt so much if we were more diligent with our practice, but we hadn't run a step for about two weeks prior to that run.
Yep, we are old folks now. Best be running more often, ah reckon.
So, how are we here today? Good? All is well? Great...great...
What's in the poetry bag tonight? Not a lot of anything, really...let's see...
=================================
The Passage of Rite
Oh, those work-faces slid down
Just a bit
When the clock rolled to eight
All were fresh from four days off
Living like the free souls
They always wanted to be
Phones rang
No one sang
The praises of the small lunch-hour
Time marched on
While those same, sad work faces
Picked up into relief
Turned off the patient workstations
Went away
Back to their small tastes of freedom
=================================
There we be. It's a little bit of cruel fun to watch my co-workers slide into mild depression after the extra-long, supersized weekend they had. It's equally fun to watch them climb out of that little slump as they pour themselves into their vehicles and trundle off to savour what's left of the day.
I have a strange sense of fun. It keeps my mind busy as I bike home.
Well, back to nursing the sunburn...g'night! | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 4889 | |
| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:04:49 PM | Lurk Lurk
Muttering old folks
[Reaching blindly for walking frame]
Just experienced
..
.
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 7/3/2008 7:14:52 PM | Ha...Longte...you have the best lines.
Hello all...another hot evening here in the flattest of the flatlands. The beer is going down too well tonight. Breathing's away at work still...she's a busy professional.
Me? I'm neither professional nor busy. I had the time to create a very short thingie here:
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A Sudden Wet Mess
"Oh!"
He ejaculated
"Better get the mop!"
==================================
Funny how the word "ejaculate" became so narrowly defined in the last few decades. It used to mean a sudden outburst and not necessarily of a liquid nature. It's a little like "fisting"...didn't that used to refer to a crochet pattern? A scarf with intricate little fistings all through it...lovely.
Anyway....to the showers!
G'night! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:30:44 PM | Hello all. Just passing through the medium...with something in hand...
...careful, it's a bit stinky...
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Drowning in the Estrogen Ocean
Terror of the fifty-foot tween
You shoulda seen
That stork of a girl
Who stomped
Pivoted
Whirled
Through the depths of Old Navy
Makeup thick
Hair extra wavy
Clothes in hand
Strike up the band
That she didn’t need the change room
But
She was Visa’s doom
================================================
Okay...off to the sleep chamber. G'night! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 7/6/2008 3:47:21 PM | It's Sunday!
Sunday!
Sunday!
Welcome to the weekly sermon from the Book of Goat. I wasn't sure where this one was headed, but it seemed to turn out okay. It was fuelled by beer -- Alexander Keith's, to be exact.
Here it is...snacks are in the lobby. I hope you like digestive biscuits and Tang. Or is it the Co-op derivative, "Beep"? You haven't lived until you had a nice, high-fructose glass of Beep in the morning. The breakfast of champions....yassuh!!
Okay...here we go:
=======================================
Psalm 303 – The Book of Goat
What is at the end of our ideas?
Thy Lard was pondering
While spending some overtime at work
Yes, the topic was completely unrelated
And completely unshared with anyone there
(there was no one at first, but they came in anyway)
The end of our ideas:
The point where the bucket drags on the damp rocks
Of a dry well
The point where river-fattened land becomes desert
Where the fields begin at the end of a residential block
A shopping cart stands as a sentry
Between the last house and all that canola
The space between the words
Between the music
The moment before the sneeze
(not to mention the moment after)
It isn’t unfertile land, really
Like a desert, it’s a more subtle biosphere
If you look hard, you will see life
It is so after the ideas are gone
Thy Lard thought of the few times when He was
Fresh out of ideas
When bucket after bucket came up dry
Everything tasted of sand
Then He tried to go beyond
And, like a marathon’s wall that grabbed
Clung
Held limbs down
Begged
For you to not go any further
The barrier resisted
Then released
And there was only the sound of the wind
The gravel under distant tires
The sound of paperwork shuffling itself
The feeling of ideas finding purchase in raw and new soil
And they come
And they grow
And they reach for a new sun
All that held them back
Was imagination
Amen
===================================================
There is a good book (Om knows about this book) that says "go beyond reason to love, it is the only safety." I may have mangled the quote, but it applies to everything....go beyond reasoning -- if the gut says it's good, then do it. Fear is imagination; imagination is under our control.
Looks like we're driving our own bus, eh?
Okay, enough pontificating...I have some booze to drink and a game to play.
Laters! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:54:34 PM | Great sermon, Lard. I read it last night. It followed me today. So I came home, read a bit, wiped the inpiration from my brow, and came up with this bit of wetness.
What was interesting about today, was, a women,(who irritates the bagebeeze out of me) gave me her small book of poems to read. I was moved by her trust. (not the poems so much) It helped put things in perspective.
ok, enough with the novel...\
thanks, eh.
````````
Sitting Next to An Elderly Man.
Sitting next to an elderly man( at a cafe' in Montreal)
I noticed his lense filters had
fled his camera bag
to follow
a pair of stilettos
`````````````
ok, there was more, but that was enough... | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:00:31 PM | Hello all.
Hello to Autumn! Thank you muchly...I had a good bike ride with Breathing that helped inspire that one. That, and a beer.
Hello to Om! Ah, your bit of wetness is enough to get things growing. I love it.
I have a rather bad bit of dampness with me tonight and it's loosely based on Leonard Cohen's "Chelsea Hotel". I was in another thread called "Suzanne" here in the POF poetry forums and posted something that had been gestating for a few days. I had just enough gas in the tank to write this:
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Vegreville Hotel No. 5 (with apologies to Leonard Cohen)
I remember the smell of that shitty motel
It was neither so good nor so sweet
I think something was dead under the bed
Possibly made of meat
But those were the reasons and that was Vegreville
We were traveling way out and through
And that was called a holiday for minimum wagers
Probably still is for those of them left
Ah, but we got away, didn’t we babe?
We just turned our backs on the jobs
We got away and I never heard you say
I need this, I don’t need this
I need this, I don’t need this
And all of that screwing around
I remember the smell of that shitty hotel
The pubic hair on the pillows made it a legend
We said again that we preferred a more habitable den
But, this time, we’ll make the exception
So sleeping with someone’s fuzz we huddled together
Spent a rude and sleepless night
Used the shower, but there was only the cold
Available for the washing
Ah, but we got away, didn’t we babe?
We went and bought ourselves a tent
Even with the cool fall weather, we told ourselves
We need this…we really need this
We need this…oh, we so need it
And no more screwing around
I don’t mean to suggest that Vegreville was a test
I can’t keep track of everything on a scorecard
I remember you well in that shitty motel
That’s all…I’ve condemned it to Thy Lard
==============================================
There we are...that'll do for a night. Check out the "Suzanne" thread, too. The first post was enough to get me all fired up.
Okay...best be going...
G'night! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:10:25 PM | Howdy all...not much doing tonight. How's about a haiku?
=================================
Take one Hail Mary
And maybe four Our Fathers
Get away with all
==================================
Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. I took a sandwich the priest was going to have for lunch. I then took the ham from it and placed it between my buttcheeks for an hour. Then I placed it back in the sandwich. I laughed while he ate it.
I can't take credit for that...that was said on some episode of South Park. It's one thing I wish I did when I was young but never did.
Life is full of regrets, ennit?
Well...g'night! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 7/10/2008 7:43:10 PM | Hello all...just wandering by...
====================================
Slapped Awake
I woke this morning
Thinking it was Friday
But
It was only a Thursday
Then Reality hit me
Just once
Then it hit me again
And again
And again
And again
Frenzied, Reality beat on me
For the better part of an hour
Then it stopped
Felt guilty
Apologized
Bought me earrings
And a fur coat
I told Reality
To **** off
I kept the fur coat
============================================
There we are...see yer tomorrow-ish.
G'night! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:10:40 AM | My creative mind seems to have been hibernating. It’s about time I nudged it back to life…
The goat keeps my mind sharp and my heart safe. I is one lucky woman, thank you me’love
Greets to all that have graced these fine walls
Just a few words that I was …compelled... to write…
~~
I think I was there
Or was I...
I can see his voice…
Snowmobiling was my life
His eyes fall silent
Fear stills his thoughts…
I wonder how he digests
The Doctor’s words
You are dying…
I’d best get my things in order
The clothes for the funeral
I need to do things…
Things I should have done
While I was alive
Who will be there at the end…
Yes, get my things in order
Wait, I’m not ready
I still have living to do…
The cycle of treatment begins
Poison enters my body
They say I’ll feel cool…
Does death feel cool
I’d prefer warm soup, please
Yes, I’d like to sleep some
Would I like a nice warm blanket, she asks
I Don’t Want a Warm Blanket
I Want My LIFE!
Why are you here, watching…
I do not know you
Yet you will voice my last words
When the time comes, when words are spoken
And hands cry
Remember me…
This was my life, my feelings
Do not take my pain
Simply witness…
~~
Go out and live... we have only one life | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:16:49 PM | Hello all.
When Breathing comes here, she lends such presence to the barn doesn't she? Powerful and wise woman, she is. Loves yer, m'dear. Lots and lots.
Hello to Lunarlunacy! Well, thanks! That one made me roar as I wrote it and I decided to not keep the earrings. The fur coat...well, I'm thinking it's rabbit so I may have to go too. I won't be having Reality in my house again. I don't like the way it hits at times...and it can't even do guilty properly. Bugger reality. Right. In. The. Ear.
Alrighty....what do I have here tonight? Prolly just a haiku:
=====================================
The more folk you meet
The more you see tragedy
Strangers and friends too
======================================
Yar. See yer tomorrow-ish.
G'night! | |
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