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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 8/24/2008 4:44:49 PM | Hello all. Been a wee while, hadn't it? Today is Sunday but there's no sermon. I've lost me religion, y'see. I left it around here somewheres, but I think it's in the couch with several nickels of change and a long-lost half burrito.
Best not to ask about that one.
Good to see Om here keeping the banr open during my absence. You know, you have really grown as a poet. The latest you wrote here is a true example of that...you have the images, you have the words...all that lacks is the time.
Say, there's a poem...
But, to set the stage, Breathng and I just returned from a pleasantly-hard cross country race today. Several beer after, a poem just issued forth like a fart from a four-bean salad:
========================================
It Smells Funny But Tastes Fine
It's a bit funny
As you pass through time
(Or time passes through you)
A step then another
You anticipate the worst
Become disappointed when it
Doesn't happen
Dusty trails
Trip on fresh-cut stubble
Misdirected, redirected
Time passes through
Over the path
Through hearts and minds
Under the soles of their feet
We didn't glide
We finished in a slow
Awkward way we've acquired
Passing through
===================================
More beer! I shall see youse later, eh? | |
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om-
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Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 4927 | |
| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:13:29 PM | ^ it's as good as a sermon, Lard Goat. I do admire you mind, mate.
Thanks, eh. You guys rest up, eh, your keasters and feet will thank you. As does the cause. | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/13/2008 9:22:52 PM | Tis almost a Sunday and the world is a harder place without thy Lard...
I've bin fryin bacon
in the hope of a smudgin
the grits have been boilin
in the back kitchen
the hay is all fresh
we are awaitin
Thy Lard and his Sermon
we're anticipatin
 | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/14/2008 6:50:04 AM | I was thinking the same thing...
Hello all (and hello to en afrique -- good 'un there). That's enough of a break from poetry, ennit? It always seems I get the summer bummers when the heat gets high. Now that the weather's cooler my brain has found its feet...so to speak.
Brain feet...hmmm...remember that one.
Good to see alla youse guys here today. It just happens to be Sunday and I just happen to be be in a wee writin' mood. A sip of coffee and we're off...
==================================
Psalm 325 -- The Book of Goat
Miracles are small things
Thy Lard hath tripped over many
Dusted Himself off and carried on
As if nothing hath happened
Though, yesterday
A miracle ran with Him
And we travelled 10.89 km
Thy Lard watched as the speed picked up
Lungs, ventricles, legs fit to burst and stop
But the miracle pulled
And Thy Lard followed
And Thy Lard's "can'ts"
His "wont's"
His "I donwanna's"
Sort of drifted of in the breeze
Like a dandelion going to seed
There was no hard crash through the barriers
Just mild dissolution
Until all was left was
Heart
Lungs
Mind
Despite the last "cant"
Thy Lard increased His pace even more
The miracle hooted and cheered him on
(It hung back and slurped from its water bottle)
Then the hill of hills was crested and left
Then another
And another
All snapped into place like
A Snap-tite model kit (remember those?)
Just Thy Lard's feet
Soft-dofting over the asphalt
Then Thy Lard made the mistake of
Looking at His watch:
Heart rate = 184
Pace = 4.17
And He thought of beer
Sweet beer
Chilling in the fridge at home
Twas beer o'clock then
Though no bells tolled
But Thy Lard kneweth it was time
To get His Big, White Ass home
And begin the weekend
When thee hast outrun thyself
Thy Lard reckons that a cool barley sandwich
Will always bring thee home
Amen | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/15/2008 7:06:33 PM | Incoming! Duck and cover!!
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Migratory Compulsions
Things are heading south now
Geese, boobs, jowls
Knees, butts, cankles
The office ladies rub their knuckles
Look at the changing leaves
Feel heavy in their chairs
Know that a bra can only
Do so much
Before it joins the crowd
====================================
Outgoing!!
G'night! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/15/2008 7:29:49 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
god that is at least a 5 minute errggguuulll
Youse a genius....and the rest has done ya a powa
erk! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/16/2008 8:40:33 PM | Evenin' all...good to see yer all here tonight.
Good to see En Afrique here as well. Thank, eh, but no genius here....everything I have is fueled by beer.
Here's the latest offering, also fueled by beer.
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Weapons of Growth and Nurturing
Oh, smother-mother
No more cookies please
My shorts have enough starch
Leave my shirts alone
Don’t prune me like a larch
Smother-mother
I can’t live between your breasts
They have both gone dry
But they’re big and receptive/deceptive
Sliding to your wobbly thighs
Smother-mother
Stepping closer to the grave
With fake teeth and permanent wave
Such a slave to fahsion
A victim of passion
==========================================
A spontaneous poem spawned by a phrase heard on the telly. Such a marvelous device, that television...so inspiring!
Alrighty....to bed. G'night! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/18/2008 6:37:37 PM | Here comes another one!!!
=====================================
How I Prefer the Weekdays
I wanted to tango
With the mango
But I had to shoulder
The boulder
Stay out of arrears
Work on my career
A coporate jerk
Heading to work
All I wanted was sleep
A slumber so deep
Arise from my rest
Say “Good Morning, Breasts!”
========================================
And I'm off....zoom zoom...
G'night! | |
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om-
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Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 4934 | |
| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/19/2008 3:24:12 PM | hey, youse' two. I trust all is well..:)
Looking forward to a sermon when I return, Goat.
Have a great weekend, eh! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/21/2008 10:33:18 AM | Hello all...good to see you here on this almost Sunday afternoon. Breathing and I needed to sleep in today...we've been going hard for almost two months. God, work sucks.
Hello to Om! We are fine...how're you doing there? How's that weekend? One more day of it left...make it a gooder.
Okay let's launch into a sermon. We've gotta go and do stuff so we can come home and not do stuff. I know, it sounds weird...why not skip a step and not do stuff?
Hmm...anyway...
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Psalm 154, Subsection B – The Book of Goat
It was an existential How
The new COO uttered
When he investigated
The twisted paper trail
That ran past Thy Lard
And down the rabbit hole
Thy Lard didst wonder why
(though it was not an existential Why)
His workplace needed a COO
- Perhaps they needed to complete the set
Like collector spoons
Or velvet Elvises
Or those little Franklin Mint things
That are chucked out several times a year? –
Anyway…A Chief Organizational Officer?
C’mon…
But they do have the CEO and the CIO
So the Holy Trinity of the business world
Is to have the All Powerful Three
Working together to make the company
A better place
And bugger the underpaid employees
Who will never see that six figure income
Those pasty, bloated fat white men
Get just for scarfing muffins
And making flowcharts…
…oh, sorry…
But the COO uttered a howl of a HOW
When he realized the paper trail
Went down the fabled rabbit hole
Where Alice went years ago
And never really came out the same
Sure, the COO had his buddies
And more power than little Alice
But, for all his engines
He could not escape the swamp of uncertainty
When the trail stopped
Dropped
And rolled into a quagmire
Thy Lard thinketh that the COO
And all pasty, white, puffy, overpaid men
Shouldst spend some time with the Unknown
It may help them to be less
Pasty
Puffy
And rigid
Thy Lard is sure there’s a little
Human Being
Just waiting to get out of that fat suit
Amen
=================================================
Off we go into the sunshine....carefully avoiding all those church folk that are streaming out of the churches of choice this late morning.
Here we go! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/24/2008 7:38:40 PM | Oh, hi...
...don't have much tonight. Just something that was inspired by another thread.
=============================
Why are we here?
My name is Fred
I am waiting for a bus
(Or maybe a train?)
I may have exact change
Though it depends
On what the price is
I have never met the driver
Nor seen the bus
(Or train?)
I'm sure it's there
I heard it
Nearly
Once
An hour ago
==================================
Yep...that'll do. Thanks for the inspiration, POF poets!
G'night! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/25/2008 8:21:36 PM | Evenin'. Just wandering by the barn.
Everything looks good...reckon I'll leave this here:
======================================
In The Lost and Found Box
The pursuit of happiness
Is a misdirection
The pursuit of being
Seems more aligned
Less wasteful
When one just is
Happiness tags along
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Not really a poem, just a smattering of stuff. Funny, the things we find while on the crapper, eh?
Okay, g'night! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/26/2008 4:24:39 PM | Very good to see you, Pickles!
You have been missed around here...more than you know.
I'll be back with a poem later on. Breathing says hello and welcome back, too...she's right here, opening a celebratory beer in your name.
Later, eh? | |
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om-
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Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 4940 | |
| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/26/2008 4:47:30 PM | ^ thar' she be fellers', our ships light n' larfter..:)
Goodest to see the whole you, pickles!
```````````````````````````````````````````````
I happened to catch my two cats
standing behind the shower curtain
Smoking
One says to me,
“What”?
````````
...:/ | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/26/2008 6:55:33 PM | Ta mateys, Goat, da luvverly Breathing and om tiddley pom.....
May you always have a haybale and a brew
C xo | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/26/2008 8:43:04 PM | Howdy ya'll!
Hello to Om and Pickles. A haybale and a brew for all tonight -- make sure you shake the mice out of both before use.
Om, you had me rolling with that last one. Beauty! That reminds me of our cat on the window sill behind a closed curtain. When I drew back the curtain and saw the cat, he looked at me with such horror and guilt, I swear it was like catching your son tossing off to Sears catalogs in the johnny.
Heh...he almost looked like he could say: "I weren't doin' nothin'! Jus' lookin'!"
Oh, let's have a haiku:
==================================
Peed on the cat's head
Stuck it right through the pee line
One urine-soaked ear
===================================
You'd think that'd teach him, but no. I'm sure he'll have to fall right in before getting wary about that toilet.
Anyway...see yer tomorrow-ish, Sunday fer sure. Be good!
G'night! | |
|
om-
|
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 4943 | |
| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/28/2008 10:31:04 AM | ^ twas a good chuckle, too, Goat!
ok, a wee ku before I hit the street fest.
``````
Queen street is closed off
A literary event
No medics in site
```````
yeap, my kind of carny! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/28/2008 2:25:14 PM | Well Goat Man, since you have given me such belly grabbers for the last couple years I thought I would stop by say Hi!, and mayhap return the favor.....
Devine Lust.
And thy Lord say'eth unto me
Let thee go forth and know of whore with little tooth
And may you say unto her "My God"
"For I have never been so pleased!"
And let the Heavens rain in goo and fallen child
For he that knowest toothless blowjob shall reap my reward
And pass to me her that is of devine sucking ability
That I may explode in tune of Pink Floyd and CCR
And I went forth unto thy earth of Eden and Las Vegas
To search thy garden for such this mix of God and blowjob
And to me by burning bush did so arise she
Painted, and of looseness that I say'eth unto her..
Lo!, for I am sent by God to seek thy sucking mouth of such devine nature
That He Who Has Created Thy Earth and Man did so send me forth
And she say'eth unto me
$20
And so I procduce'eth thy cock unto her of little tooth and pride
and she went forth to fondle and suck'eth my member
And I said unto her
ooohhhh
ooohhhh
yeah
And she say'eth unto me
mmmmmm
And so I came
In rivers that blot'eth the sky
And make all eyes pink before me
And God so heard my moans
And said unto me
Give thy whore my phone number
That I may call'eth her when I am wasted
And so he did
And she suck'eth him as no other
And he cum'eth in such waves
Did he drench thy earth in waves of sticky goo
And all...
Was disgusting to be so drenched!
So I say'eth unto thee
Beware of sex and Religion!
Lo!
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/28/2008 2:39:12 PM | .............O...................Put this
..............\......O...........on your
............../...../.............profile
..............\.....\.............if you
..................../.............know
.............O...........O.....someone
............/......O......\.....who really
............\.......\....../......should have
............/......./......\......been a
....................\.............blow job!
Somehow I just knew it was a sign
Not on a barn .. not even on barn board..
In fact no one was bored at all
Til some old goat butted
Out the blunt we had stored
Next door in the Old Grey Mares stall ..
"There's yer sign!" lol
A.S.is
The worst thing about being atheist is having no one to talk to when yer havin sex ..
"Oh ____ ... Oh ___" .. kinda anti-climactic ...
(anti-climactic has nothing to do with reversing global warming)
yet ... | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/28/2008 3:29:58 PM | What I meant to say was
It's good to see you back
We needed a couple extras
With getting that barn ready for Kyle.
That Hurricane's packin
a mighty wind
So the door's need to hold for awhile..
What I meant to say was
It's good to see you back
Your writes so refreshing and blunt
I'd been hoping
Perhaps someday "we'd" see yer front.
ya dirty (^%^%*^!!;:'s!! you thought I was gonna say ****! :blush:
A.S.is
a barn by any other name is a stable ... stable .. a word rarely heard these days! lol
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 9/28/2008 8:55:02 PM | Howdy ya'll. Sorry I'm late with thee -er, the- sermon but things conspired to make me late. Heck, why does the good news have to be delivered before noon? Is it a divine law or something? Let's have it late in the day, so thy -er, yer- rest can be more restful.
Yeah?
Oh, yeah.
TruthIsee...lovely sermon and I do love a larf and that was a wet and messy larf. The truth is, Thy Lard fakes orgasms by throwing a cup of hot yogurt on his lust-mate. It works until tasted...then the gig's up. Been reading your posts and (yes) your thread as well...been good. I never really get out of the barn much, but I do look at the greener grasses from time to time.
Hello to A.S.is! A couple of good posts. This is the most unstable stable around. i think we'll need more haybales by the walls...they're looking a wee bit bowed...
Oh...a sermon. It ain't much but, man is it an inalienable right:
======================================
Psalm 612 -- The Book of Goat
Thy Lard is late, ‘tis true
But He had a busy day of
Physical activity
Writing to friends
Sipping beer
And..uhm..other stuff
Other stuff sits on the desk
Before Him
In amber elegance…
…ah, beer..
Thy Lard hath been thinking
Everyone has the right to be
***holes
No, really.
Even the disabled, the infirm
The blind, the deaf
Everyone
Has the right
To be an ***hole
Moreover, it is up to the physically able
To Ensure
The Disabled
The Infirm
The Blind
The Deaf
Be able to display their ***holery
As well as any able-bodied
(and minded)
Person can do
And advertise themselves
As the product they want
Of course
They can
(and anyone, really)
Also get real and be who they really are
Instead of one layer of the onion
After another
Amen
=======================================
There it is. Embrace your ***holery! Love your ****iness! Be true to your shitty self! the inner, crusty child in you demands it!
Okay, get some sleep. G'night! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 10/2/2008 8:31:14 PM | Postin', postin;...POSTIN'!!!
Funny how a word can trigger a few ideas. Can't remember where I saw the word, thought I reckon I could Google it and see...but, ehhhh...
Here's tonight's pickin's:
=====================================
Wordshed
Held together with conjunctions
Brave against the wind
Y’know..
Those hard thoughts that
Continuously throw poo-poo
Against the spruce meaning?
Sure
It leans a bit away from that breeze
Just need a few verbs, adverbs
A fresh coat of Idea
Fill in the foundation with a bit o’ soul
Maybe
It’ll be good as new
Better, even
Than the neighbor’s garish
Thought Castle
Rumour has it he installed
A
(get this)
Champagne fountain
And a full stage with an orchestra pit
It looks pretty and shiny
In the distance
I’ll bet the maintenance is hellish
It’s a great place to be beat
With the Rule of Grammar
===============================================
I may try that one again...I like the word. "Wordshed" -- lovely...
Okay, g'night! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 10/3/2008 7:43:53 PM | Hallo!
Passing through with another ditty. Let me lay my trophies down...riiiiight here:
=============================================
Overheard in the Lunchroom
“Can I see your sausage?”
She said innocently enough
Baffled and surprised
By the blunt and lively question
He obliged
There it was
Nestled amongst the perogies
Still sweating from its ordeal
In the microwave
She realized
Her question had a layer
Of meaning more amusing
Than intended
She quickly tried to set a context
Of how she had a discussion
With a friend
There were no good farmer’s sausages
Left in this part of the world
Perhaps she should’ve asked
A real farmer to see his?
After harvest
All farmer’s sausages look better
============================================
Garlicky and hot...mmm...sausage.
G'night! | |
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| A Barn By Any Other Name...
Posted: 10/3/2008 9:06:10 PM | Wot I wants ta know....is.......
Does she eat her own sausages sideways??????
Why is it that
phallic food forms
such as a banana
or a good pork banger
evoke ss
double entendres
so when you want to
indulge
it is furtively
as tho you were a perv
when all you crave is....
taste. | |
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