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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/8/2009 3:02:01 PM | What exactly is love? Is there an absolute meaning to the word - love? Or is it purely subjective? The concept of true love is what we search for all our lives. Yet love is one of the most misunderstood concepts of all.
What people really want more than anything else is to be loved unconditionally; to be accepted for who we are, and still be loved. Sometimes we will do some crazy things, in the name of love.
Love is actually the choice one makes to put someone's wishes, desires and needs above your own.
Many people confuse the word love with the meaning of the word want or desire. For example, sometimes when a young man tells the woman of his dreams, I love you, when he means that he wants her because of his own selfish desires. He's the one that may feel all excited over her, but in reality he may want her because of her physical appearance, or because of her mentality or her ability to make him feel good or important. Notice his primary motive for pursuing her is based on himself and his desires; not on pleasing her, although he may choose to please her, but that's only based upon the fulfillment of his wants.
The same goes for a young woman, when she says to the man of her dreams, I love you, she in fact means that she wants him because of his physical appearance, status, mentality or his ability to make her feel good or important. This usage of the word love for the meaning of the word want is ever so present in the way we use and abuse it.
Since we are selfish creatures, and our understanding of love is to first be pleased, look at how this word is overused. · I love Papa John's pizza. · I just love Gone with the Wind. · I loved Titanic. · I love Jazz Music. · I love Beethoven. · I love The Island of Dr. Moreau.
To better understand the concept of love, lets define the value of love.
Love is the most valuable commodity in the world.
We all need love just like a fish needs water. Without love, life would not be worth living. With love in our lives, we are empowered beyond belief. Without love in our lives we will shrivel up and die a slow, painful and lonely death. Love is the very essence and core of our being. It is the energy that sustains who and what we are. Everyone in life has a deep-rooted desire to love and be loved.
Many times people only recognize love in its emotional form. We might hear people on television say things like, I don't love you anymore, as they express their emotional feelings. However, love is a lot more than what we feel. Love is a spiritual form of energy that can be given or received in physical, emotional, or mental forms.
Love usually starts in our thoughts, then spreads to the physical world through our actions, and then it will produce the emotional feelings. For example, it is possible to be angry with our spouse and force ourselves to do something nice for them in our actions, like buying flowers.
Pretty soon our emotions kick in and after we see how happy our partner is upon receiving the gift, our emotions will follow.
Love is a spiritual gift from a supreme force that starts mentally and finds its way to physical expression, but the emotional feelings we call love have very little to do with what love really is all about.
Furthermore, love can also come in healthy and unhealthy forms.
Love is an energy that can be used in a positive, healthy manner or a negative, unhealthy manner.
There is unconditional love, which is very accepting, supporting and forgiving.
There is tough love, which is disciplined, authoritative and conforming. For example, if a father's son were using drugs, he could unconditionally love him and accept his destructive behavior, hoping that he doesn't overdose and die, or he could use tough love and put him in a rehabilitation hospital in an attempt to save his life.
So as a result, too much tough love can be unhealthy, just like too much unconditional love can be unhealthy.
The acceptance of love also plays a role in better understanding the concept of love. Many times we give love to our partner the same way we would like to receive it. But loving a person this way might not be in their best interests. If our gift of love fails to promote the good in the other person, they might not like it and reject it.
Other times we might expect to be loved by our partners in the same way we were loved as children by our parents. For example, if our parents made us feel loved by buying us things, we might associate loving actions especially in the form of gifts, jewelry, clothes and expensive toys.
Our partner could be the most loving, supportive, compassionate, understanding and caring person in the world and it's possible we could overlook their loving intentions if they didn't come from a store.
In conclusion, to love others takes effort, and in some cases this can be very hard work. Ideally, we should also be able to love people who we don't particularly like or find attractive. This is not as unreasonable as it may sound, if we understand that love is not just a feeling, but it is expressed when we do something for another person that benefits their spiritual and emotional growth, which in turn helps them realize their full human potential.
Any questions?
What do you think?
Let me know.
Corey Thomason  | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/9/2009 10:36:40 PM | I like very much what you wrote and will read it again and again,
chao
trulio | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/9/2009 10:43:38 PM | The ancient Greek word for health is _sao_
which incidentally is the modern Portugese word for Saint, as in _Sao Paul_ (Saint Paul). | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/10/2009 12:43:11 AM | Corey???? yes questions
do you believe that tough love and unconditional love are exclusionary? or that they have to be?? Another question I have is often times we may feel a great deal of love for someone but not be able to meet the "conditions" they place upon their perceived motives for our love... Their perceived motives being different than our actual motives therefore is it really possible to have unconditional love? because we love people unconditionally provided they perceive us as unconditional>>If they place motives on us that don't belong to us then what? | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/10/2009 2:05:45 PM | Howdy ya'll...
This lack of internet connectivity is getting me down. I needs to update me stuff...arrgghh!
Funny, it's like missing a toe...you never realize how much a part it is of you until its gone. Was that grammatically correct? Anh..feh..
Good to see everyone here and really good to see this ol' barn is on page 1 of the forum. Thanks to all for keeping it alive. I'll see if I have something poetical to post here...like this:
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Ol' Saskatchewan
Very cheap to get into
Expensive to leave
===========================
So far, the tab for escaping Saskgravity (tm) is between $2500.00 and $3500.00...it cost me just around $500.00 to move there only ten years ago. It's like trying to climb out of a mudhole with a pocketful of rocks.
Good riddance, Saskabush!! We're free...FREEEEE!!!
Okay...back to coffee at Starbucks in Cowtown. Stay tuned for further developments.
Laters! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/10/2009 7:25:39 PM | Feh...youse are outta there........
Cow town is a good place.......rode one of them mechanical (maniacal) bulls in a bar there once...when I flipped off my skirt went right over my head...good thing I always listened to my ma about underwear eh!
Safe travels you two
C xo | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/11/2009 1:17:14 PM | Howdy-do.
Another day, another Starbucks. Calgary is alright, but its real saving grace is it's not in Saskatchewan. I wake every morning and thank God we don't live in that craphole any more. Thank ye JeeeeZUS!
Hello Pickles! Yours seems to be the common Calgary experience and I did it as well, though I wasn't wearing a skirt or underwear but jeans cover all. I sprained my wrist a little, though...
Thanks fer the safe journey wishes. Breathing and I have a little run in Canmore tomorrow morning and a little jaunt to Drumheller on the next day. An action-packed weekend to be sure...We'll be safe.
Well, let's see what's in the haiku bag today:
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Pretty good coffee
Coupled with painful seating
Only way to surf
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I miss my home PC. These Ikea knock-off chairs make my arse fall asleep.
Okay...laters! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/11/2009 1:19:00 PM | Oh, I forgots to say howdy to Miz...very good to see you here again.
I'm hoping to get my creative sense back here in a few days. It was dulled by the flatlanders and boring work and low pay. Never work for Mennonites.
Be good and play safe, eh? | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/11/2009 1:41:59 PM | what did we do before wireless and Starbucks????
I prefer to surf
those warm calm turquoise waters
sipping coronas
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/12/2009 7:45:05 PM | inicia
I believe the simplest way to sum up the question you asked would be these simple words; I hope...
"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. We can't be so blinded by our own selfishness that we forget to allow ourselves to understand what the other person wants. If they do not feel the emotions you feel for them then it is an impossible battle, but as I said in my previous words ... Love can mean many things and you can be fooled by your own emotions due to your own unconscience selfishness or needs; if you will"
Always remember this is my own opinion from 4 years of studying human nature and pshycology at College of Charleston, nothing more. I feel it is accurate. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/13/2009 10:47:01 PM | ya got yer tush outta Saskabush
wallet light yer Alberta bound
who's gonna know when that rodeo
charters some old greyhounds
washing the wheat dust off the boots
prepared to bath in oil
don't worry too much about the loot
juss get planted in new soil
let some roots spred around
there's plenty of fertilizer
they also need some more cow clowns
an a barn dance social advisor
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aka,om
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Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 5412 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/16/2009 9:01:48 PM | hay! yeap, plenty of hay here...*gives the floor a quick sweep... *helps himself to a beer...
You settlers settling in ok?
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girls by the black sea
under silver token moon
moon tang for sailors
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was out n'aboat tonight...:-0 | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/16/2009 9:08:59 PM | Dang I'm missing the aromas....the barn is entirely too fresh airish....
Pungent is the new stench......bring it on Goat!
Royal le Page hung a sign
today
In a wierd way it is a bit like
self flagellation
you know it will hurt
yet you want it more than anything
it will bring my life
full circle. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/17/2009 10:28:24 AM | Howdy-do...we're still here in Cowtown and still without regular internet connection.
Just toodling about with Breathing in Starbucks...she's doing well.
After spending a week or so in Alberta, it makes me realize why I left this place years and years ago. And, after that realization, I see I have a pattern of not liking where I'm at. Well, there were those ten years in the Yukon when that "not-feeling-right-in-my-own-skin" habit didn't apply.
Weird...though I do long to break that habit.
But, the only thing I see now is:
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Manicures, pedicures
Cure nothing
Though the nails
Look fabulous
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Ah...suburban Calgary. There is a place for everyone, eh?
Okay...off to the bits and pieces of life..
Later, eh?
PS: Hello Pickles-dear! The smell will be returning shortly...I just have to finish all these beans and get back to my flatulent self. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/18/2009 1:30:27 PM | Hello all. We've landed in a mall.
And that seems halfway to a poem, dunnit? Seriously, though...we are here in Cowtown still at yet another Sturbucks with a prime view of the mall. Good God what a scene that walks past.
If I were 16 again, this would be a fantasy for me. Now that I'm 40, this all just makes me want to stay home and watch TV with Breathing and the cats.
Let me explain.
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Plastic Managerie
A strange land we came upon
Here in this cow-sown soil
I've never heard so many screams
From soccer moms and
Babies and Chinese vendors
And
I have never seen so many
Asian women
In short-shorts before
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Yep...that'll do it. This'll be the last Starbucks I post from. After this, we're heading west to stay. Blessed BC and a life by the lake.
Ahhh....can't wait.
Later, eh? | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/18/2009 1:36:39 PM | Bon Voyage mes amis.....a la prochaine....
Go west
keep pace with the sun
stop when the time
and place sing to you.
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aka,om
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Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 5418 | |
| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/20/2009 9:43:02 PM | So it was a week in cow-town first, eh? well, I'm sure the smell was agreeable, goat.
hey, I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks in Nelson...:/
Do drop us a line from the interior. (if you get my meanin')
Happy settlin' partners! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/24/2009 8:49:07 PM | Howdy-do!
Guess where Breathing and I ended up a few days ago? Yup...right here in Nelson, BC. The place is fabulous and the lake is fabulous...the cats are fabulous and the job search...well, it hasn't fabulously started yet, but we'll get it going next week.
Now...we'll have to tuck in and get some lines written. It's been way too long since I created any half-arsed poetry.
Hello to Pickles-dear and Om-mate! We are here indeed...living right beside the lake for 8 months. You can hear the boats go by...ugh...that was close to a Cohenism. Brr...
Anyhow, now that things are hooked up I can indulge in a little writing. Tonight, though, it will be a little haiku:
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The land is not flat
Though the job market might be
Pounding the pavement
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Let's see what all that effort will produce...
Okay, see yer tomorrow-ish! G'night! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/25/2009 9:08:34 PM | Me again.
Man, this settling into a new place is hard to do. Could it be that I've become all old and inflexible...so much so that I can't seem to wrap my mind around anything these days. Even reading is a chore.
Feh..well...at least the house is in order now.
Say, how about a haiku for the night? Let's see what I gots here:
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Problems popping up
One PC died a hard death
The "Careful Movers"
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My poor computer just makes sickly beeping noises and doesn't boot. That makes me a saaaaad ruminant...
Thank goodness for the backup PC...it still works!!
Okay...let's launch into a weekend! G'night! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/25/2009 10:06:48 PM | aar youse there????
didjouse make it????
Hopin that Nelson is all youse wants
Pickles xo | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/25/2009 10:26:25 PM | I used to live and work and play in the Hootenays by various and sundry means: including contracting with the MOF, and ENGOS'
Nice place, but be careful
you might get attached to lying at the bottom of a deep glacial valley
if you do not, then you will migrate to higher elevations on skiis
like justin druid
and find yourself | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/25/2009 10:28:03 PM | Yes, we is here!!
We do love it!!
The lake, The view... bloody amazing
..... Moving is damn hard work .. a wee bit o''' overwhelming at times..
hugs to ya, pickles...
and greets to all
..
soon a poem, a few wee words, will fall from these idle hands.. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/26/2009 8:17:33 PM | Heh..you hands are far from idle, m'love.
It's true...Breathing has been one busy lady these last few weeks. All that running and packing and moving and keeping my brain together...heck, that last one is a full time job all by itself.
And..egads...we have a half-marathon to run in Creston tomorrow. Did that ever come up fast.
Hello to Pickles-dear! Yes, we made it and Nelson is a great place to be -- though all this change is a bit intimidating at times. Must. Find. Work.
Hi Trulio! The Hootenays are great! This is such a change from Saskabush, I'll tell ya. Heck, I'm struggling to learn to live without hate. I hated the flatlands so much that there's this emotional vacuum that's sucking up my energy. I didn't realize it was there until the object of my hate was taken out of my life.
Crazy stuff, eh?
Let's see what's in the haiku bag tonight:
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Old anger dissolves
A life of the idle ****
Got drowned in the lake
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Heh...there we are. I'm thinking its high time I got back to the Book of Goat. Let's see how I feel after that half-marathon tomorrow.
Been a while since I ran and I have a sprained ankle to boot -- something I picked up n Cowtown. I think it was a parting gift from my former homeland.
Pricky, pricky, pricky Alberta.
Okay...see yer tomorrow-ish! G'night! | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 9/27/2009 6:42:09 PM | Howdy-do...no Book of Goat today. My apologies.
That half marathon was a toughie, but Breathing and I managed to do it in 2 hours and 15 seconds, which is pretty amazing since we hadn't run for about two weeks and only sporadically since late August. And that sprained ankle was a bit of a trick, too. Ouch.
But I do have something here:
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The cat sits and leans
Lists and sleeps like a lost boat
Gazing at the lake
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Peaceful here now. Just the sound of the fireplace and the sound of the keyboard yammering away, words are rainy things on a nearby mountain.
Heh..must be tired. See yer tomorrow, eh?
G'night! | |
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