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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/19/2005 2:42:01 AM | Charming Charming...hey there my dittygoat that was a great poem today as always what can we say, he does it again...Ditty up! Ditty up! away I go to wrestle the rain...
Our snow gone
Warm air has hit us
The roads are clear
Except for the dirty piles
But yuck a rainy day
Splatters all over me
Muddy pants and coat
As I scurry on home
Umbrella being blown upwards
How I detest that
It does not keep the rain off
And soaks the hell out of me
Rain rain go away
And bring me back those sunny days!
I hope your day brings you much joy my dear friend and look forward to your next entry! Bye bye for now! Hey a brand new page has come forth and I am on the top of it! Now now watch your mind! The devil in me has come out so now I clean my mind!
Charming
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/19/2005 7:29:39 PM | Things you see some days....
children in a gym jumping...
stretching....hands outspread...cartwheels...
handsprings... bridges and tables...
cars on a highway...great big tents....
people jumping stretching...hands outshpread....cartwheels
handsprings.... bridges...and tables...
the difference ...makeup.....costumes...music...
one you pay to do the other you pay to see..... | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/19/2005 9:17:57 PM | Hello all. This has been one ugly night. The alternator on my truck up and died, and we got it replaced tonight in -20 C temperatures. It's gonna take a few days to get the circulation back into my extremeties again.
Greets to Ticket, Charming and Sukari. It's great to see you all here again. Happy New Year to Ticket. It's been an interesting year so far. Always love to see Charming here...and Sukari's choice words fresh from her memory.
Do I have a poem? Nah..prolly just a haiku:
=======================
Truck dies in winter
Leaving me without my wheels
Makes me very sad
=======================
And pissed off, I might add. Urgh! Okay...I have to go and warm up. G'night. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/20/2005 6:20:00 PM | Hi.
Back again for a quickie:
================
Truck is alive now
New parts make a difference
Wheels will turn again
==================
Hugs n' stuff. G'night. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/21/2005 6:54:14 PM | words words.....spinning...mixing.....stirred up in the mind
ideas...feelings...emotions...... thrown in the stir
whirring.....confusion... | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/21/2005 7:59:45 PM | Hey there all. Howdy Sukari...you have the word magic tonight. The weather sounds nice where you are -- much better than what we have here in Saskabush. Cold enough to freeze the nuts off a bridge.
Actually, that's a lie. The temperature needed to freeze the nuts off a bridge is about -64 C. That's a long story from my years in the Yukon. I'll save it for another day.
Thanks Sukari for keeping the barn warm for me. You are truly kind.
Unfortunately, all I have is this:
=========================
Biscuits from the Biscuit Tin
Fling my turds, the toilet is plugged
I had the device apart and debugged
The power of my mighty colon
Made the toidy say “so long”
I used to be a little dumber
As I called for the local plumber
But now I embrace these unclogging tasks
With a zest, a verve and I cannot relax
Until that dear, sweet, freshly-punished can
Is clear of plugs and I declare “I am the MAN!”
=================================
By the power of Greyskull!! The toilet lives again!! Just in time for Bran Flakes tomorrow.
G'night all. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/22/2005 1:44:36 AM | lol....by the power of the greyskull...I like it!
I am here to carry on
My spirit all around
A smile from ear to ear
And a heart that is light
Laughter fills the room
As I continue to have fun
I miss that "Dittygoat"
And had to stop in
To say hello and hug him
Now I wander off
Into a world of business and work
I take with me goats smile
And his kind and friendly words
Oh how that "Dittygoat" makes my day
And know when I leave
I have been blessed again
Off and dancing I shall go
Taking his warmth with me!
Good night there GS! All the best to you!
Charming and Sweet | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 834 | |
| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/22/2005 9:22:26 AM | I sat here and went through a lot of these tonight
How do you just keep turning them out
They are just so refreshhing to read
great stuff | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/22/2005 11:32:21 AM | Howdy all. Another brilliant Saturday is upon me again. I love hanging around the house in my gonch and existing in unstructured time. Lovely...
Hi Longte! Nice to see you here in the barn and I thank you for the compliments. I hope reading these rough ditties of mine hasn't adversly affected you. I'd hate to see your talent erode because of me. I appreciate your poetry as well, pardner. You have this incredible power to evoke an incredible array of feelings with every post you make. You are a wordsmith, sir, and I could stand to learn a few things from you.
Charmingandsweet...still charming and still sweet. I love those words and I'm liking the mind that powers those fingers that make those words. Thanks, eh.
And, alas, in the midst of great company I am so very sorry to post this:
===============================
Never, Never, Never
(Or: I Have To Stop Doing These Things Just Because Someone Dared Me To”)
Never lick a lamp-post in the dead of winter
Even though it looks frosty and refreshing
It can lead to some discomfort and extreme embarrassment
Never try to juggle bowling balls, cats, bench-vises
Anything larger or heavier than one’s head
That, too, can lead to injury of physical and emotional self
Never sing karaoke when you are dreadfully loaded
Especially if it’s “I Will Survive” in falsetto
And all you have on is your boxer shorts and band-aids on your nipples
Never drink the mysterious “House Wine”
Never try to sweeten it up with anti-freeze
Never pass-out on a pool table, especially when a game is in play
Never say “never”, because once one is full of wings and beer
And that special word
(dare)
Is uttered, stupidity follows
And so do the stories at work the next working day
===========================================
There we go. It was a stretch, but I got it out. No animals were harmed in the making of this terrible collection of words. Well, I have to git along and be sociable for a little while. Wings and beer await and I hope no one utters a dare.
Hugs and handshakes. See you tomorrow. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/22/2005 7:19:51 PM | Rain rain go away
What a gloomy day
The rain pours in buckets
And here I sit inside
Later I have to go
In that rainy world
Off to work I go
Running like hell
From here to there
As the wind blows
My face wet
And very cold hands
Hoping my feet will remain dry
And I do not become soaked
Rain please go away
Have had enough all ready!
Charming
Psst..."Dittygoat"...I saw you and what a pleasant surprise! Your barn was very warm today! Off I go to my rainy world! Take care there "Dittygoat!" "Now I need zzz before my shift!  | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/22/2005 9:07:28 PM | Quirky thread, I enjoyed a poem here and there. You've got an honest stroke, Goat. Sorry I'm not more specific, rather boggled (I'm usually sleeping at 7pm, early job).
Who would have thought today would be the day that I read a poem about someone taking a sh*t?
Cheers | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 838 | |
| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/23/2005 3:05:00 AM | Read page 21
Just about peed myself
First peeing in the shower
Fair enough All done it at some stage
Then a bit later "Sometimes I even unxip before I pee"
You gotta LOVE that
You are a VERY special man | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/23/2005 8:51:36 AM | Morning all. Wings and beer were good -- well, they're always good -- and I didn't get dared to do anything. There was no karaoke to be had at the bar, so I didn't get dared to sing both the male and female parts of "Endless Love" as Sean Connery and Kathryn Hepburn. It's one of my signature performances.
Yeah, what a claim to fame.
Forgotten Eulogy....greetings to you, pardner. Little did I know that I would write a poem (and post it) about wrecking my toilet and beating the turd with the shaft of a hockey stick. Life is a funny thing, sometimes. Thanks for coming on into the barn. All are welcome here, just mind the sh*t on the floor.
Longte...howdy there, my esteemed peer. I still unzip to pee in the shower. My ex thinks I was raised by squirrels or wolves because I'm such an uncouth savage. I never told her I was raised by a badger in the wild. Some things are best left unsaid, eh.
Am I special in the Olympic sense? I never take drugs and drink rarely.... never had a head injury either. I guess it's all-natural.
Charming dear...that's what I hated about the coast. Sure, the scenery is great but the weather sucks 90% of the time. Here, it's cold and dry enough to put a popcorn-fart to shame. It is supposed to warm up here, but I'll believe it when I see it. I love your words...you are a lovely and appreciated guest here in the House of Barn.
Well, a poem....hmmm....bear in mind I'm quite hungover...and I have horrible gas...hmmm....
Ah, here we go:
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A Stranger In God’s House
I wondered today about God
I know, the furry heathen I am
I wondered if he were male or female
Or genderless in an omniscient way
I wondered about the course of events
Of history, of our collective course
As we tried, as good Christians, to interpret
God’s meaning, God’s intent, God’s will
And how we can tell others How It All Works
But, after some reflection, I think God
Is an unhappily married couple
Which occasionally gets into a row or two
About little, celestial things like:
Who has to clean out the eavestroughing
Or about the pork-chops being tough and inedible
Or who’s going to get the rats out of the basement
Did you remember to rotate the galaxy – it doesn’t wind itself, you know
They fume in comfortable silence and watch Wheel of Fortune
And know all the answers before the questions arrive
They argue over who is going to answer prayers that night
After putting the sun out and making sure the gate is closed
Sometimes I think I wonder too much
About things that are outside my comprehensive reach
And try to cage them in limited words
When I should quit looking at that unhappily married couple
===========================================
Ugh. If I'm not already going to hell, I will be after that one. Spike the ball -- I'm outta here. Hugs and handshakes. I shall return tomorrow. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/23/2005 8:58:25 AM | ROFL
Zealots, cover thine eyes
The Goat has won the prize
Uncovering the certain truth
You'll never hear on Dr. Ruth
Or Focus On The Family
At first it does seem silly
But, then it does make sense
To cover both sides of the fence
And how in "His" image we're made
Now, to hell, I too shall fade. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/24/2005 6:38:04 PM | Hello all. Everyone doing good? Yeah? Me? Not so bad, not so bad. I have a rash that looks like a map of Albania...did you want to see it? No? Allrighty.
Hi Agent! Excellent post and a furtherance of the wonderings I had yesterday. If God is not at least two distinct and closely-linked personalities, then He/She has a very severe personality disorder. Either that, or us humans aren't picking up what God has put down -- if you know what I mean.
Enough Sunday school **stardizations. Should I apologize? Well, let me get good and drunk first....
Er...yeah...
Hi Sukari! I know precisely what you mean. I hope things are getting better down there. The Goat is in your corner, pardner.
And...well, let's see...a poem? Gawd, I dunno. Let me check my other pants:
=================================
Fat Gets in My Eye
When I lean over
waaay over
Like I'm going to pick up a pen
Or tie my shoes
Fat gets in my eyes
And I'm dazzled by blubber
Hairy and impossible
as it may seem
I can still see my toes
And that counts for something
But there are things
Scary things
That collect in
My cavernous bellybutton
I've saved them
In a jar
I have enough lint
To make a good
Bathroom rug
============================
Yup, that sucked. It sucked hard enough to take the chrome off a trailer hitch. Shlork!
Well, I'd better call it a night. G'night all. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/24/2005 6:43:49 PM | CPR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Medic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I just laughed up a lung
Then choked on my tongue. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/25/2005 8:02:55 PM | Howdy all. Howdy Agent....sorry about that choking on tongue stuff. Hurts a bit, don't it? Very unsettling too...like you can't trust your own body afterwards.
Er..anyway...good to see you. Hope you're doing better today.
Now, what do I have? Not a lot -- how about a haiku?
=========================
Who's Line is on now
Makes me laugh and giggle too
And chuckle to bed
========================
Yeah, I'm a loser. I watch "Who's Line is it Anyway?" and I giggle myself sick to bed every weeknight. Oh, well, it beats the alternatives...whatever they are.
Okay, g'night! | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/25/2005 9:37:42 PM | Great show Dittygoat! I especially love it when they have to act it out...hilarious! I admit they are good though! just popped in before work to wish you and everyone here a great day! Does any one wish to take over my night shift and listen to peoples' things all night? Please take it away for tonight! I am beat but hey, my last shift, four off! And I am gonna do something fun fun fun, down right and nasty...this weekend...like something off the wall and canny! "Ditty Up! Ditty Up! Off I go! And here comes miss "Nasty" this weekend! Party! Party! and Laugh my a** off, gee, hope I can find it after this! That would be awful if I couldn't! LOL...imagining myself without an ass! Oh man! I am bad! Bye bye for now Dittygoat and keep safe!
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/26/2005 3:34:30 PM | "Fat Gets In My Eye" was a hoot.
I almost tried singing it to the tune of "Some Gets In Your Eyes" but the syllabication was killing me. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/26/2005 7:24:48 PM | Howdy all. A little more time tonight...
Charming...good to see you again. Good luck tonight and don't lose your a*** if you laugh it off. It gets awkward gettting around without it. Love having you here. Don't be a stranger, eh.
Anya...welcome to the barn. I tried to remember the words to "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" while writing the "Fat" poem, but I couldn't remember the tune or the words, so I winged it. Good of you to stop by and don't be shy, just mind the puddles of urine and stay close to walls while in the barn.
And what do I have? Let's see:
========================
My Truck Turned 400,000 today
I bought it years ago, against advice
They said the timing chain was ready to snap
They said the brakes were shot
And the engine had only a few miles left
Turned out the thing lived
Through six trips from Saskatoon to Whitehorse
(One time on three cylinders)
And well beyond that
The fenders are rusted, the alternator blew
(Three times)
The fuel pump farted nothing but air
For a short while
The 4-wheel drive doesn’t work all the time
(Those ball joints need replacing some day)
It runs as rough as Teamster on a treadmill
But I see friends and strangers in shiny SUVs
And sleek sub-sporty cars
Stressing about payments and potential door-dings
I smile and know I don’t care about a scratch
And the payments were done with long ago
==================================
A tribute to my chariot! With that, I must go.
G'night, eh? | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/27/2005 7:45:55 PM | Howdy all....say...no one's been here besides me? Darn, I guess goat-season is over for the month. Ah, well...I had my run.
But I always have my half-arsed poetry. Been busy with making words tonight. So, while I have enough gas in the tank:
=================================
Finding the Paragraph
A letter was made tonight
A carefully-constructed list of words
A monologue of a balancing act
Between what I think I want,
What I’d like to see,
Where I’d like to be
And what my time means
That letter was made tonight
And it took less than ten minutes
It fell out, entirely in place
And entirely on the page
And it passed my personal litmus test:
Would I like to receive
Such a letter?
Defintely.
================================
Yep. Life and times of an old goat. Now watch as this old barstard wanders away to bed. Don't be looking at my butt, neither. G'night. | |
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| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/28/2005 12:11:14 AM | Charming is watching GS as you walk away...had to pop in because you popped in on one of my forums today and thought...hmmm....I am going to go on over and see what the ole goat wrote today...very intriguing letter there my "Dittygoat" I went to a show tonight, had an excellent time and wow what a show "Assault Percinct 13" I was holding my breath in quite a few places as well sitting on the edge of my seat!
Tomorrow night I am going to rock and the same with Saturday...you all have a wonderful weekend and GS....I shall return as long as I have my butt to sit down with if I do not laugh it off these next two nights....Oh it is going to be fun, wild, and crazy! Woohoo! Good night my "Dittygoat" until next time, you take care! Bye bye for now!
Charming    | |
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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 850 | |
| Re: GoatSmell's Own Poetry Thread
Posted: 1/28/2005 5:07:25 AM | No Goat we have been visiting
Just not saying much
Arnt old cars great
Got a boomer and a basher sitting out back
Looks like the sad old thing should be on a rally track
If I want Air conditioning I wind the window down
If I can find the handle... I'm sure theres one around
Walk out in the morning and have a look at it
Just to be sure that maybe it will last another trip
I turn the key and silence.... for a second maybe two
Smell of something burning... then the engine she goes VROOM
Not sure how many cylinders start up every day
So long as there are three or more I'm off along my way
And I see the people laughing as I am passing by
But really they cant see the twinkle in me eye
It doent really matter where on earth I roam
The boomer and the basher Always gets me home | |
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