| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/8/2005 6:04:45 PM | Hello all. Last night was pretty damned good, but the show was too short. I think Ryan Styles is going bald too, but that's an unconfirmed observation.
But, it's a post n' run night for me...
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First Blood, Last Squeak
The bike caused a casualty today
There were so many gophers in that field
Leaping and squeaking and rushing aside
Dropping into holes in furry panic
Except for one
One small, stupid gopher
The tires were on top of it
Before it could move
One final, gurgling squeak and it was done
At least it was quick
At least there was nothing stuck to the tires
Because the bike stays with me in the bedroom
And gopher guts are difficult
To get out of the carpet
===============================
Poor, little criter. I kinda felt sorry for it afterwards. The tires are clean though...I wasn't looking forward to hosing off the bike tonight.
Okay...enough morbidity. See ya'll tomorrow. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/8/2005 6:09:05 PM | Given the noxious fumes that have been redolent
I suspect the reason for this absence
Is not so much Goat
With a pungent as*s
But more a sense
That a lingering Fart
Could be contagious
Colour you forever
Cloud you in "smell"
This could be "Resume Hell" | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/9/2005 5:35:10 AM | Howdy all....
Sorry Goat but since Agent's lingering fart, I suppose your the target now....lol
hope everyone is well, I will be back later hopefully with a new poem...take care all...
What’s that smell?
Can anyone tell?
I thought the barn was cleaned up
Guess the maids
Been off today
And the goats fart lingered on up
So grab a gas mask
And come on in
Pull up your favorite bale
Just don’t breathe to deep
Or you may end up
Taking an unplanned sleep
It’s sad to say
Bad things about the goats smell
But there is no way you can’t possibly tell
But the combination of food he eats
Creates such a smell
One worse then the crude found on his feet
So if you want to venture in
Remember to bring your gas mask
Sitting here to read can be such a task
But still come on in
its always worth the risk you see
there are many talented poets to read......
Miz
its crappy but fun...lol | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/9/2005 2:58:03 PM | Hey Miz
You smelt it too????
Ew
Phew
What to do?
Gas masks hinder your dinner
(Mind you...could be 10 pounds thinner)
Just hold your breath
Lunge out the door
Breathe in fresh air
Then go back for more
 | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/9/2005 3:48:06 PM | Breathing saunters in- always amused and intrigued by what I might find behind barn doors….. ----- Hey Miz, Pickles....Ya make me laugh. Looks like it's a goaty day, eh?
How dee – Rory
Ahh ,,, then there is the brilliant Goat...you snapped the neck of one defenseless and senseless creature ~ Quite vividly I might add! You always serve it up in style.
I am just stumbling about in the wind today—hope ya all have a fine day :)
Each morning
I rise to cup
The memory of his voice
A poem
Spoken at dusk
Gently settling in time
Watching moments
Turning in the sun
Yesterday becomes today | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/9/2005 6:04:44 PM | Each morning
I wait and see
Wondering if HE
Will send me words to soothe me
To move me
To make me feel
Complete
Whole
Happy, free
And he does
 | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/9/2005 6:49:23 PM | Can you smellllllll what the Goat is cookin'?
Neither can I. I seemed to have burnt out my sense of smell.
Well, here's a poem:
=======================
What Th..? That Ain’t Chili!!
We are gathered here today in part
To pay tribute to a nasty fart
I’ll admit I can really crack them off
And the smell is not unlike old beef stroganoff
But a good fart is more of an experience than a smell
Just like Philadelphia is a little different from hell
There’s sound, texture, flavour and holding the artistic form
Bless the fecal blast that does precede the morn
So, close your eyes and hold your nose
Because it’s going to be bumguts for the first seven rows
=================================
When I have Mini-Wheats in the morning, it's always best to have your hip waders pulled up to your chin by about 1:00pm. The gravy-flavoured waves don't stop until several hours after that.
You guys get me laughing every time. Bless that Agent for writing such an inspirational work. And bless you all for keeping it going. I'll think of you guys every time I crack one off -- and that happens at least 200 times a day.
Later, you crazy kids....g'night, eh. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/9/2005 7:19:14 PM | Mini Wheats will do the trick
As will Kellogg's Raisin Bran
From letting out a long slow breezer
Before running to the can
Cheerios will clear the joint
Faster than a laser
The arsenal now at your seat
Is stronger than a tazer
But let's not forget the good ol' Life
And it's blend of mystery grains
The odor and the frequency
Will clean out all your drains
Shreddies is another blend
Which percolates inside
And when the gut bomb is prepared
Bystander's had better hide
The moral of the tale is this:
Cereal is bad news
Unless at Sunday morning church
You want to clear the pews.
Heheheheh, Goat - you've created a MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!
*BLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT*
Oh yeah, much better.  | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/9/2005 7:53:17 PM | Heh heh...Agent, my man. Good to see ya.
I haven't created a monster, I was just feeding the beast that was already there. And your poem got me thinking -- they have Raisin Bran, but they don't have Onion Bran. That would be a breakfast flavour I could get into.
Okay...I'm really outta here. Thanks to Agent for keeping my colon flowin and my brain sharp.
Hugs and handshakes all around. See you guys tomorrow. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/9/2005 8:01:32 PM | Hey, Goat?
Pass me a napkin, willya?
Oh? You don't have any? How's about a handful of straw?
I've got some beer dripping down my monitor now that I need to get off.
Onion Bran. You know, I'd be all over that like sawdust on a kid's ice cream cone. Because onion and breakfast are a natural combination. I know this from experience.
Ooops, I've said too much.
<---------------- Agent out. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/10/2005 2:09:36 AM | POSSESSED
A sheen became the walls
in my eight-year-old eyes
though the minister with his bawls
obviously missed the surprise
glow lighting the commonplace
house of quaking lies.
Back then words meant nothing
for others in pews, as well,
so sound fell, was soothing,
lulling spectres out of Hell.
Then the slam on The Book, shout
to belittle pell-mell.
As I say, I was eight,
unaware of the Fall,
weekly to go this fate;
whatever, us young had a ball,
the church being a playhouse
where we'd run down the hall.
The "teachers' " futile impact,
the pasted smiles over my head;
I was a god they lacked,
their joy run out like red
blood from a squashed mosquito
no longer stinging, and dead. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/10/2005 4:39:17 PM | Just a little post n' run...
Burgers and smokies
Assailed my gut this fine day
Gas is to follow
And not much besides. See you guys later or (more likely) tomorrow. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/11/2005 5:36:04 PM | What.....24 hrs and no post
My creativity is mired in god knows what ....but the rest of you????
I fart on those who do not
Post here
This is the Barn is it not?
Not something to fear
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/11/2005 5:47:23 PM | hey hey pickles... ;-)
Hello goat m'Dear........ Perhaps the goat still has gas and can’t move from the couch?
I see that his aromatic fart is still lingering...
As for my creative spark?……. I was packing boxes yesterday and I think I packed my creativity in one of them...oops...I will do a quick search now, see if I can find it….. .
Howdy Agent,,,, Rory and fellow dwellers…. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/11/2005 5:49:15 PM | Hey GF
You moving too???
Sucks
ANd I have a friend from the UK visiting
18 yrs in one place AARGHHHHHHHH
am going to move every 2 yrs from now on!!!!
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/11/2005 5:50:49 PM | The Barn is silent on Saturday
Since the Goat's detritus had its play
And covered the walls with the gassiest green
Waste by-products I've ever seen.
The regulars have all abandoned ship
And are afraid, are far away biting their lip.
But I'll brave, through the haze, behind my 'puter,
In saying the Goat's ass is being checked by Roto-rooter. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/11/2005 6:50:41 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ LMAO
Must be the heat...
L E T H A R G Y
Goatly aroma's don't dissipate
Linger for ever in this heat
Must be the heat inversion
That keeps the smell from moving on
I wonder what the sermon tomorrow will be???
Off for a few days
to all | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/11/2005 6:58:50 PM | Hey ho Rory ...well said...
...Do you really want to move every two years?...nah....stability is good. Yup Pickles I am moving, home calls. -Packing is not the most fun but the journey is….Have a good few days, see you on your return ;-)
The wind is whistling in trees
Time to travel home
A prairie song
Tucked under my arm
Many years past
A forgotten sunset
Etched in my mind
The warmth at dusk
The movement of leaves
Sounds so simple and true
The music of a summer breeze | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/11/2005 6:59:45 PM | Hello peoples. Hello Pickles...I see the sun is strong over there as well. The smell is strong over here though...there's a green cloud escaping my biscuit-tin as I write this. It's making the paint on the wall bubble a bit.
Ergh...
Welp, here's a quick post and run:
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Thar Be Sun in Saskabush, By Gar!
What is that yellow orb in the sky?
‘Tis neither fish nor fly
If people stare at it, they’d go blind
And forever wonder why
See them totter out, all pasty white
Into the clear, stark bright
See them slather on sunscreen in pure fright
To reduce the risk of melanomial plight
Dear me, the day has gone from cool to hot
A lot of perspiration is what I’ve got
Everything is sticky like when finger meets snot
Even mucous is too far too warm to clot
So I will stay inside and patiently watch
The temperature edge up notch by notch
With a bag of frozen peas on my crotch
And have a very cool, refreshing scotch
================================
The sermon tomorrow? That's a verrrrrry good question. I'll have to figure that one out later (or more likely) tomorrow morning. I's too warm to think of much...
Okey-dokey-smokey...see ya'll tomorrow. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/11/2005 7:03:05 PM | Just read Rory's latest...heh heh...you made me roar, you did. But, for the record, I never call the Roto Rooter people on weekends -- it's far too expensive. I get the the old toilet snake and do the job myself.
Of course, I do it outside so I don't get anything on the carpet.
Say...Breathing...how's the packing going? Need any help? Let me know, eh?
Okay..now I'm arf..er, off. G'night. | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/11/2005 7:07:06 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Goat...you ROCK
Hell I don't think I had a life before the Barn and POF
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/11/2005 7:40:26 PM | I just stopped back in to read some of the brilliant minds in here. I am always impressed.
You are right Pickles :: This old barn is a blessing, as are you M’Dearest Goat ---- I could use a hand filling these boxes ----Thanks eh ;-)
Till tomorrow all | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/11/2005 9:32:44 PM | Now I don’t post hear too often
Thou, I’m an avid reader
So here’s my take on the Goats smell in the barn!
Dear Goat,
Thou your smell is very strong
Makes one think of the shit, of Kong
Thou your pile is not as large
It’s still the worst smelling, goat discharge
Yet, for your sermons, we are hooked
That’s why on Sundays, your pews are booked
As for the Roto-Rooter to slip the slug
Just yank the snake, to pull the plug
Just hand out masks in the church
So up our throats, it does not lurch
We are very grateful for all of your words
As long as they don’t come in the form a turds
And if they do, don’t let them float
Through the isles of the House of Goat
Sam | |
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| The Poetry Barn and Eatery
Posted: 6/12/2005 7:53:00 AM | Morning all. Good morning Mari Sam...I love that poem!! Another clipper and a keeper...thanks!! Hmm..."goat discharge"... that reminds me of that cheese they used to have in a tube. Do they still make that? And that reminds me of the time when I ate too many Mandarin oranges and went skiing...
...
Oh, yes...a sermon...please be seated. Well, stand up then sit down...okay, touch your toes. Now stand up and give me an "amen". Either that or burp the alphabet for me -- it ain't funny unless you get to "G".
Let's begin:
========================
Psalm 48 – Book of Goat
If thou leaveth a bag of frozen peas on thy crotch
Do not fall asleep and forget them
Thy package will themselves shrivel into frozen peas
And one forlorn carrot
Thy knackers will likely not return to normal
Without some careful sunning
Which could leadeth to more painful problems
That the baking of thy grapes
Is inherent to
If thou are female with no dingly bits
And if thou are as smart as Thy Lard
(Thy Lard secretley knoweth thou are smarter)
To leave something rather cold down there
Two inches north of the Biscuit Tin
Well…Thy Lard knows
Frozen balls do not roll well
And chilled lips cannot whistle
Guard thy loins
Treat them well
Amen
====================================
Alrighty...the sun is up and so am I. Let's get out into that day and soak up some vitamin D.
Later, eh. | |
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