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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/28/2008 5:24:34 PM |
One of the women who says she isn't attracted to men my color just checked out my profile.
Lateef, bridging the racial gap one woman at a time. ... lol
Very funny Lateef! You back in the days I used to enjoy a good debate on Stormfront and I pretty much got banned for
having a sigline that said "making the world browner ...once child at a time" . Of course I was just being facetious.
My cousins are half-black, but they basically deny their white blood. They remind me of Halle Berry who jumps on the black train for publicity. My female cousin said she was "babysitting " me when she was trying to join a black sorority in college when they asked who I was. I am only sharing this to show some people use race for their own ends.
Hence the comments about biracials being "confused" or "mixed nuts". I hope I can convince my son to embrace both of his ethnicity with equal respect and honor. For him to acknowledge only his "black" side would be an affront to his mother first and foremost and himself IMO. My hope is that he dates whoever makes him happy and who he makes happy.
O | |
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Posted: 7/28/2008 5:27:45 PM | I just can't believe that someone would put it in their PROFILE. I mean really. Why not keep the profile inviting and just not respond to the undesirables what that shade happens to be!
Besides you just never know who you might offend. A man who viewed responded to my profile also mentioned liking Black women but stressed that he was not interested in Asian women (he was white). Well there are some lovely Asian women in MY FAMILY, so you can only guess where his message went.
UNREAD/DELETE. | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/28/2008 5:32:12 PM | For the record, I do see profiles that read, "black men only"...or..."latin men only"....or...."sorry, just not into white guys".
People have their preferences as to what attracts them. I have mine, as well. Some of them, I suppose I could put on my profile, while others, I would have to save for a more intimate R rated moment.
SD | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/28/2008 5:37:51 PM | Maybe we need to clarify what exactly an "Ethnic Attraction" is??? Is it something that we are "born with", choose "independently", or choose inconjunction with Family, Friends, & Society's views, perspectives, and values? Which one of the three choices below do people think that "Ethic Attraction" really is:
1. DISCRIMINATION ("I only date "So & So" Ethnic Type")
2. PREFERENCE/CHOICE ("Beauty is in the eye of the beholder")
3. UNCONSIOUS ("Attraction is not a choice" David DeAngelo)
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/28/2008 5:44:38 PM | | People can like what they want, but they shouldn't be under the supposition they won't be judged for it. And not only by the people affected, but by others who find the behavior disgusting. And since folks here are trying to find mates, and finding mates is a numbers game, the best bet is to try offend the least number of people, regardless of whether or not you wish to date them. Sometimes I judge potential partners more harshly by the way they treat others regardless of how well they treat me. | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/28/2008 5:56:20 PM | I know there is still a lot of tension in the world between various races and cultures, but I think on a individual level it is not much different from something that happened to a friend of mine recently.
She had a date drop out on her not because of her ethnic background, but because he prefered tall, well built, busty blondes.
She on the otherhand had none of these attributes. Both were of the same race / creed / ethnic background.
So I ask what is the difference at the end of the day, you fancy what / who you fancy and discriminate against the rest through personal choice.
And yes I have crossed the Ethnic boundarys, but at end of day I was going out with the person, not the colour of their skin. I also would say I am not as limiting with my choice of partner in height, colour of hair etc as some. But I do think that there is a similar quality about their personalities. That being they are all confident women in their own social setting (for want of a better description). | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/28/2008 6:20:18 PM | | OFF TOPIC: snarkysmachine--BD Wong is about 5'5". But who cares? certainly not me.He is hot | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/28/2008 7:47:40 PM | OFF TOPIC
snarkysmachine--BD Wong is about 5'5". But who cares? certainly not me.He is hot
And Ed Harris ain't too far off from that! But the others, well, haha. they're kind of tall. All look completely different and all exceedingly hottt (with multiple Ts) | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/28/2008 10:01:57 PM | | There is no such thing as race. Many people who are "White" come from mixed ancestry. Ditto for "Black" or any other "race". | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/28/2008 10:14:06 PM | People can have a preference but it's a lie for somebody to say they don't find anybody from another 'race' attractive. It's simply not possible since races and features overlap. You can go into the heart of Africa and find populations of people with "white" european cranial features just as you can go to Europe and find somebody with "black" features..
It's fine to prefer certain features. We all do.
But those who say "I would never date so and so race" do so for cultural reasons even if they're unaware of it. They simply don't feel comfortable with unfamiliar cultures, or wish to avoid potential negative feedback from friends and relatives (for women, pleasing mom and dad especially important), and so forth. | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/28/2008 11:49:39 PM |
Maybe we need to clarify what exactly an "Ethnic Attraction" is??? Is it something that we are "born with", choose "independently", or choose inconjunction with Family, Friends, & Society's views, perspectives, and values? Which one of the three choices below do people think that "Ethic Attraction" really is:
1. DISCRIMINATION ("I only date "So & So" Ethnic Type")
2. PREFERENCE/CHOICE ("Beauty is in the eye of the beholder")
3. UNCONSIOUS ("Attraction is not a choice" David DeAngelo)
Why can't it be all three? I know growing up I was, and I'm quoting my mother, a "horny little **stard." I loved women, but more importantly than that, I loved non-white women. Looking back on the last 22 years of my existance, I know for a fact that 2 and 3 definently played the key role in my upbringing, and 1 is a good possibility. Don't think attraction is a "nature" issue? From age 6 the "loves" of my life were Tyra Banks and Naomi Cambell. They were new, they were unique to me, and growing up in a small, all-white neighborhood, I was absolutely fascinated by the asian and black persona. In time, I grew up and fascination blossomed into interest in other cultures and people themselves, not just in the color of their skin. I used my initial physical attraction to women of other ethnicities into a sense of interest and understanding of people. However...
Finally, until you have lived as a black person, you will never know what we go through. I will never know what you go through either. For those who think its over, go out with someone black to your regular hang out. Better yet, bring a black person to one of your family functions and see the change in the atmosphere.
I cannot say anymore than that. I have been put in uncomfortable situations with my dear friends family (she is black and, even though I should, show little restraint in my romantic interest in her), this is only a small taste of what an average black american must experience. No amount of studying different cultures will put me in their shoes, and as much as people try to claim that by being in a different ethnic country for a small amount of time makes them understand, it doesn't.
So in my experience, living in this part of the USA, race matters to people in general. There are many of us it doesn't matter to. I use humor to keep it from bothering me. But it does hurt to know that there are people out there who hate me just because my hair is like wool and I have a permanent tan. I have had people talk to me on the phone and treat me the way every human deserves. But then to meet them in person and see the transformation in attitude.
One final word. This entire paragraph is so...so true. It's sweet when people go "it doesn't MATTER about race because we are ALL the human race!" I'm an idealist too, but that's too far. Race and ethnicity does matter. Pretend it doesn't, it might not on an individual level, but you're just denying the truth. Race does matter. It matters a lot. But the only, ONLY reason it matters, is because it still matters to other people. People will continue to look at me, as a white man, and think bad about me. People will look at those same people, and whether they be black, native american, middle eastern, whatever, they will think bad about them. You can't change it, and it will never change. The best we, as humans, can hope to accomplish, is to reach out to your children and raise them in a manner where they will, at the VERY least, respect other people, their upbringings, and their cultures.
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/29/2008 7:06:33 AM | TheCdnJackal,
I know Halle Berry is "mulata"(mixed race). But in the USA she is considered BLACK. She herself has referred to her ethnic background as BLACK not Caucacian or "White"!! Just Like Senator Barack Obama who is also "mulato" but he considers himself BLACK and everybody in the USA considers him as BLACK!! The USA is the only country in the world that considers "mulatos" BLACKS, plain and simple!! Halle Berry is BLACK! White and Puerto Rican would be "Puerto Rican" or Latino(a) not Caucasian even if the skin is lighter than snow !
Pamela Anderson is a beautiful (white) woman, but her beauty is artificial and at some extend "gross". If you consider Whoopi Goldberg "physically attractive" is your prerogative. I can bet you most men in the 21th century won't agree with you on that one!
You write that you are attracted to certain race and that is "the way it is". That phrase is exclusionist and by inference, DISCRIMINATORY. My point is that BEAUTY IS FOUND IN ANY RACE. If you can't find beauty in all races maybe you are or close minded, or racist or just don't want anything to do with dating other certain race of people. BUT, if you prefer "white women" over any other race, BUT would date any other race if certain conditions of beauty(from your point of view )exist, you might date other races. This is PREFERENCE not DISCRIMINATION!
DISCRIMINATION is say I'm only attracted to white women and "this is the way it is".
UNDERSTAND NOW?? Please say yes!!!! | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/29/2008 7:58:05 AM | WTF this thread is beginning to piss me off with the way it is turning out.
When I first came a cross it I was under the impression that is was about being attracted to some one of a different ethnic background and the difficulties one has to face.
But it is turning into lets bash the white man because he does not fancy my sister, or lets bash the white man because his sister does not fancy me, there fore he has to be racist and not letting her date me.
Personal preference is always discriminatory to some one is falls out side that profile, it does not mean how ever that they are racist or discriminatory in a way that society now finds offensive and made laws to that effect.
I am not homophobic because I don`t want to have sex with another man, many of my friends are gay, in the same way people can be attracted to people of the same ethnic background without being racist.
Also the trouble with being on a dating site is the amount of people you have to choose from, so setting yourself some limits when doing a search I think most people find acceptable, especially when they also have to go to work to pay for they internet time , dates and just pay the bills. It does not mean they are some one of racist tendancies, just some one with limited time and a good idea of what attracts them, and you have to be something extra special for them to want to fly outside the box.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW ????????? | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/29/2008 9:06:40 AM | I can see Reading isn't one your strong points Papi, if you thumbed backed to my posts, I never said Whoopi was physically attractive, I also said I don't care what ethnicity/skin colour someone is, what I Said was I don't find Russian Women appealing, and I haven't figured out why.
You still don't get it about the comment " It is what it is" or " the way it is" for the 1000th time, It means we are attracted to who we are attracted to, or shall I say is S L O W E R for you?
I also said Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as misinterpretation is also at the discretion of each individual and I also said everyone discriminates, and you cant admit you're LYING to your self Sport
I find Queen Latifah attractive, but i don't find Whoopi attractive, I find A.J. Cook from the show Criminal minds attractive but I don't find Pamela Anderson attractive, I find Sandra OH is attractive to me, but i dont find Lucy Lui attractive ..are you getting the point now sport? | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/29/2008 10:29:32 AM | TheCdnJackal
Sport? That's funny....well I better leave the discussion "the way it is". If you can't follow the basic topic of ETHNIC ATTRACTION and what the OP or main poster writes about, it is maybe beyond your intellectual capabilities. Topics like this bring many people that are aggressive and close minded to the table. People that confuse alteration with altercation. The OP or Original Poster(I guess this is what OP stands for) writes about why are some people attracted to certain ETHNICS and not others. How do we infer about the difference between PREFERENCES and DISCRIMINATION concerning ETHNIC ATTRACTION. Yet you and some others bring to this thread track sided topics like being tall, fat, PhD in Economics and all that other stuff not included in what the OP presents!
I have presented the valid position that beauty can be found in any race and that saying that "I'm attracted only to whites(blacks, or yellow, or olive skin) because that is the way I feel" is DISCRIMINATION, not PREFERENCE.
Understand that PREFERENCE is when you prefer something above other thing, but you are willing to take that other thing if certain conditions exist.
On the other hand, DISCRIMINATION is when you say stuff like "I'm not attracted to blacks, I don't like their hair, their dark eyes, their dark skin, etc. and that is the way I feel. I'm not racist." This is a big example of ETHNIC DISCRIMINATION and PREJUDICE. Yes, you are being RACIST and MEAN by stating something like that!!
When you state "preferences" you are being OPEN MINDED. When you state EXCLUSIONISM you are being close minded and even racist!
Understand if you can, if not oh well, stay as the way you are!! Well you don't even show your face. What could we expect from someone who shots and hides?? | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/29/2008 11:11:49 AM | | Lateef- I admit I checked out your picture. But you picture could also pass for a man from India. ANd since the picture doesn't state where you are from. I thought you were indian. My mistake. | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/29/2008 11:41:14 AM | | i think when you think like that you put your self in a box i refuse to do that.people can date who they want,but dont blame other races for you not finding true love. | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/29/2008 12:13:43 PM | Obsidian has the best attitude of anyone I have met on these forums. You are my kind of person Obsidian!
here, here!
*clink*
But those who say "I would never date so and so race" do so for cultural reasons even if they're unaware of it. They simply don't feel comfortable with unfamiliar cultures, or wish to avoid potential negative feedback from friends and relatives (for women, pleasing mom and dad especially important), and so forth.
^^^ not necessarily true. it's not always as "simple" as not feeling comfortable w/another culture, or out of fear of negative feedback.
personally, i've never said that i won't date a specific race; i am open to dating whoever intrigues me.
i would not date individuals who practice certain cultures b/c of a clash in social norms, systemic values, religion, gender equality issues, etc.
i have my own culture that i value and strive to live by. if another's cultural beliefs and practices are compatible w/my own, i'm open to exploring possibilities.
i recognize that this does make me a discriminating individual--i'm ok w/that. when it all comes down, every one of us practices discrimination in some form or another.
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/29/2008 1:13:30 PM | navywave said:
Lateef- I admit I checked out your picture. But you picture could also pass for a man from India. ANd since the picture doesn't state where you are from. I thought you were indian. My mistake.
navywave,
I wasn't going to let anyone know who you were. That's why I sent you a private email asking why you looked at my profile, after you had just written in this forum how you weren't racist, but you just didn't find Black men physically attractive. I may not agree with your beliefs, but I agree people have the right to believe what they wish and are entitled their privacy. In other words, no one would have known it was you I was talking about in my earlier post. But, since you let your identity be known I guess it's cool for me to respond here.
You may not realize it, but you made my point for me. I'm not interested in you, but for the sake of argument, lets play, "What if?" When you thought I was Indian, I was attractive and worth your consideration to date. I make this statement based on the fact you looked at my profile because you thought I was something other than Black. However, now that you know I'm African American, I am automatically not attractive to you or not worth dating consideration.
That makes no sense. As far I know, my picture looked the same as it did when you thought I was an Indian man. So, what would be the problem? By your own words you said you are not attracted to African American features, but you found yourself looking at an African American man who you thought was cute. So, if I approached you on the street, with an Indian accent (something I actually do very well ...lol), you'd be willing to see where things could go. But, the minute I drop the accent and begin speaking good 'ole American English (and yes, I speak near grammatically perfect English, no street slang unless the situation calls for it), and I tell you I'm a Brotha' who grew up just west of Detroit with deep roots in Kentucky, I am undateable to you?
I'm sorry, but that is racist. Don't get me wrong, I don't think you're bad person. And, you do not deserve to be "flamed" on here. You should be treated with the same respect due anyone else. However, you should really take some time to reflect on your beliefs and question whether or not they are worth holding on to.
Lateef | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/29/2008 1:21:59 PM |
i would not date individuals who practice certain cultures b/c of a clash in social norms, systemic values, religion, gender equality issues, etc.
i have my own culture that i value and strive to live by. if another's cultural beliefs and practices are compatible w/my own, i'm open to exploring possibilities.
That's why I prefer to be an uncultured dolt!  | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/29/2008 1:29:51 PM |
i would not date individuals who practice certain cultures b/c of a clash in social norms, systemic values, religion, gender equality issues, etc.
i have my own culture that i value and strive to live by. if another's cultural beliefs and practices are compatible w/my own, i'm open to exploring possibilities. That's why I prefer to be an uncultured dolt!
well, that approach certainly simplifies matters.  | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/29/2008 1:36:16 PM | Papi, now your straw manning the thread to a comical degree, for some reason your fixated on what you believe is correct, and by the way you should take your own advice and staying on the topic, so I haven't posted a picture what does that have to do with the topic in hand?attacking someone profile is usually a last resort from a weak argument
The difference between you and I, Im speaking the truth and you're sugar coating things, You keep mentioning physical beauty Halle vs Whoopi, so what does that have to do with Ethnic Attraction? both are black women yes..... and you keep mentioning every race has its beautiful people, but whats ironic is the other " ugly" people aren't worth the look, wouldn't you consider that discrimination? and I will quote you EXCLUSIONISM? my point originally was, people have preference which you and I agreed with
Where we dont agree is the discrimination, where I said everyone discriminates , but the PC folks like you say NO NO were open to everyone and thats a load of bullshit, you just said it many times in your posts you think Whoopi ugly and you accused me of if i like her thats my prerogative blah blah blah.
I may not be politically correct but at least people I meet knows where I stand instead of the PC Crap and their Machiavellian agendas | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/29/2008 1:56:50 PM | Positive thinking creates positive result. Positive force generates positive reaction.
Have you heard of 90/10 rule? Spending 90% of your time on 10% of people who's interested in you. Why do you want to waste your time on the people who don't care about you? | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/29/2008 1:58:16 PM |
Finally, until you have lived as a black person, you will never know what we go through. I will never know what you go through either. For those who think its over, go out with someone black to your regular hang out. Better yet, bring a black person to one of your family functions and see the change in the atmosphere.
true true ..but it cuts both ways bro.
for example, youll NEVER know what its like to be the only white boy in a black church. But I do, lol. Oh surely those good church going folk wouldnt be prejudiced against whites would they???? naturally a certain % didnt want to see me there, lol. of course I didnt worry too much because a certain % of white folks dont like me either
I am amused when people think the word "racism" means "whites hating blacks"
I worked at a textile mill for 5 years and trust me, I was a bigtime minority. Id be the only white guy in a breakroom with 25 guys in it. U think im deaf? u dont think I can hear "white boy" from a few tables away? The black guys didnt have any problem discussing how whites are evil etc..all while im sitting right there. They all wanted to say how blacks had it sooo hard (waaahhhh) while whites had everything handed to them....I was like "damn bro, I seem to punch in on the same clock you do".
Currently I am the only white male in my dept at work. You think the average white supervisor is going to call out a blk worker for having low production?? not usually, lol. He knows the race card will immediately be pulled. But what about me?? hell, if im not doing my work and half of someone elses everyone thinks im lazy, lol
youre right..its not over....but it cuts both ways.
Me...I like blk women...my family and friends can like it or lump it. | |
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| ETHNIC ATTRACTION...
Posted: 7/29/2008 2:13:18 PM | I think that physical attraction is not influenced by race/ethnicity. Oh, a person might say, "I don't find ANY people of group A physically attractive, but he or she is lying. Any healthy, potent, heterosexual male is going to be physically attracted to any healthy, fertile, and young female of ANY other race. Period. I don’t care what he says. We are not different species after all. Sociology tells us not to be attracted to people of certain groups, but when sociology and biology collide, biology usually wins because it is based on millions of years of evolutionary history. H. Sapien men are attracted to H. Sapien women. The ability to mate and produce healthy fertile offspring with the opposite gender of our species regardless of minor differences is probably what has allowed us to survive for well over 100,000 years. I didn't mention it before, but I have no doubt that healthy, fertile women are attracted to masculine, potent men as well. The next time a tall, buff, man (race not important) walks into a room watch how the women respond very carefully. ALL of the heterosexual women will look his way. They might not approach him, but the attraction is there.
Why do people practice endogamy? Well, for one thing it's socially acceptable. For another thing, it's often simply easier unless you're a minority. A White man that wants to date and marry a White woman in America probably doesn't have to look very far. On the other hand, an Asian man that wants to date and marry an Asian female is going to have fewer options (not that the options are bad, he simply has less of them), which is one reason why minorities are more likely marry outside of a group than majorities. The same is true in other countries as well.
Is it wrong? I don't think so. I say date whoever you want and do it for whatever reason that you want. Simple. A purple man that only wants to date purple women is discriminating just as much as the purple man that only wants to date green women. Why are purple women any better than green women in general? Why is the reverse true? Even the purple man that is willing to date both green and orange women still discriminates on some level based on other factors. To discriminate on the basis of socially constructed racial beliefs is fine when it comes to dating (not employment, promotions, sentencing, education, etc.). Sure, we're all really the same race, but until we start behaving that way, I see nothing wrong with showing a preference.
I'm Black with relatively light skin. I've dated more non-Hispanic White women than Hispanic women, more Hispanic women than Black women, more Black women than Asian women, and more Asian women than Native American women (1). Does that order look familiar? It's pretty much the ethnic groups in America arranged by sized suggesting that I date rather randomly, and I like it this way. Do I get a lot of heat for dating non-Black women? Surprisingly, the answer is NO (with the exception of maybe one extended family member). For the most part, I do not discriminate when it comes to race/ethnicity. I wish others wouldn’t but when it happens, I understand and move on. | |
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