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| How can you tell if your partner is really in love with you ?
Posted: 7/26/2008 6:24:38 PM | How is it possible???
Somebody obviously forgot the laws of 'possibility' verses 'probability'........
The only reason you didn't notice the PROBABILITY in this happening in this day and age of quick three month, 'get what I can and then split' style of relationships, is because you surely thought it couldn't POSSIBLY happen to YOU........ | |
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| How can you tell if your partner is really in love with you ?
Posted: 7/29/2008 12:05:42 AM |
I had a fantastic three month relationship with a simply gorgeous lovely lady that I met. Our friendship and lovelife blossomed from week to week. It was perfect. We dated, went to theatres, pubs, live music, dinner dates, we walked we talked. We held hands, we cuddled on her sofa , we stayed overnight in hotels, we made passionate love. We texted daily, we sent each other emails constantly, we instant messaged late into the night. Our sex was simply to die for; everything and more that you could dream of.
Then she sent a text one evening to say that she did not love me and therefore it was best to draw the relationship to a close to avoid hurting me later.
How is it possible to build such a wonderful relationship over that peiod of time with someone you know to be loving , only to find that she was able simply to terminate it without notice ? I believe that in fact we did have a loving relationship but she simply chose to end it for other reasons, hoping to end it on a high note to preserve her happy memories.
This is the main problem with dating in todays world; people move way too fast; did you meet on the internet? my money is you did; I'm sure you used the L word a time or two as well.
Its not what people say, it's what they do. And her leaving was telling you she had fun and a good time but it was time for her to move on.
you knew her 3 months! How the heck can you know someone online in 3 months? It takes a good year to really get to know someone. You were very into her but it's obvious it wasn't mutual. I'm sure she liked you but her actions said you are moving way too fast.
YOU are the one that built this relationship; she was along for the ride. Love didn't blossom for her and if it was so awesome she would have stayed. People don't break off good relationships or loving relationships so they can have great memories before it goes bad. Come on.
this is another whirlwind romance in the 21st century. Next time go MUCH slower and take your time. Love doesnt' happen over night; it takes time; infatuation takes it's toll. good luck. | |
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| How can you tell if your partner is really in love with you ?
Posted: 7/29/2008 12:27:52 AM | i dont know the girl,but here is the two likely reasons.she was having a lot of fun and knew she wasnt going to go any further.
she really liked you,wanted really bad to feel a spark,but alas came to the realization that it wasnt to be.when doing this people will be very caring towards you because they so want it to be.either way it wasnt ment to be.
i am suspecting it was the latter,but really i couldnt say. | |
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| How can you tell if your partner is really in love with you ?
Posted: 7/29/2008 4:12:03 AM | OP- I had a FWB that fits your description to a T. But did I LOVE him? No. I cared about him a lot....I cared about what was going on in his life, I cared about what happened to him, the sex was frickin' AMAZING, we talked all the time and spent plenty of time together. But I didn't love him. He's a great person....he just wasn't the person for ME. He is now married and has a family of his own.
I don't agree with her method of breaking up with you....but at least she told you instead of a)pretending to love you or b)disappearing from your life w/o an explaination.
~Welder's Girl~ | |
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| How can you tell if your partner is really in love with you ?
Posted: 7/29/2008 12:35:34 PM | So, darkchocolat23, you are going to paint an entire chunk of the population based on two nutjobs you've encountered? If this were the case, I'd have to decide that all Virgos are abusive and all Leos are lying cheats. Maybe if you pay more attention to your dates mental stability than you do what month they were born in, you'll learn to choose better.
I can tell you that I've never taken over anyone's life (that would require me to put way too much more of MY time into someone than I'm willing to give up)and I've never become vicious in any way, shape or form, no matter what anyone has ever done to me. As for not seeing what's being presented to them, I see clearly what's before me at any given time, 99% of the time even know when I'm being lied to, and I have enough sense to know when someone isn't "into" me. I see no reason to make that difficult for them.
I can also see clearly the ignorance of using a bunch of hooey (astrology) to judge the entire population of people. | |
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| How can you tell if your partner is really in love with you ?
Posted: 7/29/2008 6:23:33 PM | obxchick: Librans are the only perfect people.........all the rest are a bad lot.........lol
You are right, I am sorry................ But those two nutjobs had so much in common..... and were scary...........but then, I am a wimp...........
P.S. You are right about the Virgos and Leos......................just kidding......me very, very bad! | |
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| How can you tell if your partner is really in love with you ?
Posted: 7/30/2008 12:49:52 AM | I, too, have struggled with this.
For some reason, a significant number of women are repulsed by me, but those that aren't are instantly in "love." So I have been through your scenario many times. However, this "love" never lasts when I go with the flow... Even when women are deliriously happy, they can be unfulfilled.
I have come to the conclusion that love never lasts when it moves fast.
The secret for a lasting relationship, I think, is to force things to slow down. Everyone wants love so bad, they treat it as if it were a drug. And they overdose anytime they get ahold of it.
A critic would say it's unnatural to force love to go slow. But I don't care what critics say. My brother did just that with his girlfriend - slowed the pace - and they're more in love than ever after 3 years. In fact, in Turkey, where my parents are from, they have a saying that's something like, "Lovers who get together quickly will break apart quickly." | |
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| How can you tell if your partner is really in love with you ?
Posted: 7/30/2008 12:24:31 PM | | I think people sleep together way to soon before they know if really in love. And somebody always gets hurt. I know we are all adults and the feelings of lonliness and lets face sex is great. Buuut it is also a very intimate act and really if you had not slept with her would it hurt as much? Slow it down and see how you really feel about each other the next time. Sorry for your broken heart,know it ,don't like it. ouch! | |
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| How can you tell if your partner is really in love with you ?
Posted: 7/30/2008 12:51:45 PM | | This is just an observation from your profile. Your profile says you are "separated". If that is the case then you are still technically married and, therefore, not totally available to her. It's one thing to logically deal with it in your head but quite a different animal when it is festering in your heart. I would advise to acquire only friends until you are totally available. I do have tons of empathy for the way you are feeling, though. It totally stinks...been there, done that, have the tshirt. | |
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| How can you tell if your partner is really in love with you ?
Posted: 7/31/2008 3:12:00 PM |
I totally agree with you on this one... the buzz has a lot to do with the initial "wanting" to be together all of the time.
It is easy to say "I love you", but to stay in love is another thing. You do have to work at it. May I say as well, that sites such as pof, have made it easier to access more "buzzes" per person, than any human should have in a lifetime.
It is like an addiction, and those who are strong can resist the urge to catch another buzz, while the first one is still fresh.
I second that! The buzz is overhyped and misperceived, attraction needs to be there, true - but it doesnt have to embody itself in a electrical charge between the two, like the buzz does.
Becuase sooner or later, that buzz of "newness" will pass - and if either misunderstood the feeling, or purpose of it...they may bail thinking it dead, when its not. | |
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| How can you tell if your partner is really in love with you ?
Posted: 7/31/2008 4:26:39 PM | Are you dying to know what's in the mind of the one you love? Is your mind in the state of confusion? Does this person you like, really loves you or not? Are you curious to know if he/she is interested or moving around with other gir/guyl or not interested at all? What should be your next step to get all the information about him/her? Are there any guidelines available that can surely help you out?
If you want to know the answers to all these questions, then following are some ways to know whether the person is having feelings for you or not. If the person really likes you then his/her feelings must be reflected by his/her behaviour, actions or expressions.
Does his/her dressing style have changed? Check his/her way of dressing and presenting himself/herself. Was he/she a carefree guy/gal before meeting you? And gradually changed his/her attire and looks to impress you.
Does he/she glance at you more often while working? When you are busy in your work, if he/she gives you quick look but immediately shift to something else if you make eye contact with him/her.
Does he/she offer his/her hand of help whenever you entrap yourself in any sort of trouble? If he/she is always ready to help you-out with your tiniest problem to prove himself/herself as the right person for you.
Is he.she a very chatty person who used to converse and make fun with all other friends but when he/she talks with you, use very sophisticated language or communicate in a very conscious manner? Observe his/her actions and behavior with other girls/guys or his/her friends. If he/she waits for you or always look for the moment to share a talk with you.
Does his/her behavior remains indifferent with you and other people he/she meets? Notice whether he/she changes his/her attitude. If you find something different in his/her deeds then make a point that he/she is also having feelings for you.
Does his/her disposition also changes according to your mood? Whenever you feel happy, he/she also looks cool? But as you feel down he/she also becomes upset or tries various ways to make you happy directly or indirectly? If he/she cares for you then he/she definitely would put all the efforts to make you happy.
The best way to know what he/she wants is to ask him/her directly. But if you feel 'fear of rejection' from his/her side then use some indirect ways to know the reality:
Go out with other friends or talk with them very nicely, if he/she feels jealous (but not to the extreme) or irritated, then probability of liking you is very high.
In the beginning, if he/she feels shy in talking to you then converse with him/her in a very casual manner, later-on he/she becomes open to you and start sharing his/her feelings.
If he/she talks you the same way as other girls/guys then his/her chances of liking you is nil. Also if he /she got the clue that you like him/her and if he/she starts ignoring you then that is also the indication of negative feelings or hesitation.
Hope this helps. Pia | |
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| How can you tell if your partner is really in love with you ?
Posted: 8/1/2008 12:53:18 PM | Some intense relationships run their natural course and then they die. For me it used to be about the 4 month mark. So if the relationship went south, well I would miss the sex, and talk and company, but it was time to move on. Fortunately I am in one relationship that has lasted over a year. And still intense.
So dude. Look at the positive side. You got a graceful exit. | |
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