| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/18/2008 6:53:49 AM |
Most single women over 30 are all over the place but you probably don't even glance at us because we aren't that attractive.
I must be an anomaly then because I feel like I get more attention running into a store to grab a half gallon of milk in sweats, a pony tail and flip flops or at the gym when I look like God knows what, then I do when I actually got ready to go somewhere.
Maybe some men figure if you look meh...so-so and they still find you attractive then it can only get better, dunno... | |
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DD10
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Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 124 | |
| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/18/2008 8:26:44 AM | I am over 30 so I am most qualified to answer haha
I am also a chef so I am in the market 3-5x a week ---which is about how many times someone tries to pick me up in there... I don't go to bars, outdoor activities, church. You will find me out living my life and not looking for a date. Keep your eyes open, clothes clean, face shaved and a good attitude. You never know when you're going to walk by her...
hint is to not go to markets in the suburbs where families are. A more metro area with lots of apartments around is going to have better odds of us single women in the grocery store. | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/18/2008 1:07:02 PM | | My suggestion is try to quit to meet someone in a club. Unless you just want sex in which case - who cares if they are a bit younger? If you want a real relationship, stop looking. Get yourself involved in other things than clubbing and when its right, your path will cross with someone. | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/18/2008 2:02:05 PM | No offence !! but you don't really look like a 22 year old babe magnet  I'm 36 and my arse never touches my couch and as for night in shining amour the last thing he would have to rescue me from is my couch! | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/19/2008 8:23:50 AM | | +30 women without children are seldom even in the country. They are vacationing in Laos, Patagonia, and New Zealand five months out of the year. When they aren't on vacation, they are at work or taking online night classes for an MBA. | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/19/2008 9:19:08 AM | I have to agree with you. It seems like I've run into the same thing. Many of us guys are outgoing and do many activities and have hobbies. But I've noticed either they stay at home or are super busy in Careers. I wonder If like many of us they have had bad experiences and need time to regroup and focus on themselves. if that's the case they shouldn't be on dating websites. I'm sure those of us that have gone through divorce spend time at home doing things to clear our heads. In my case I knew what I wanted, she pretended she did, and it blew up in my face.
In my experience I've found 20's to be good for dating. 30's right now is tough. And if I can rpedict the future 40's 50's might be easier since most people have made there mistakes and know what they want.
My ex wife and I were together for 11 years and of those 11 married for 6. She decided to start seeing someone else. Luckily I found out quick, and tried to workit out but she didn't want to. So I needed to get myself together and try to move on. And she never knew what she wanted to do in life. She tried many, hobbies and interests. Many which I supported her with. When you try to help and see them fail and make themselves fail all the time it makes it tough to keep trying to help.
So I'm reallynot sure, but that's my 2 cents | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/19/2008 3:00:30 PM | I've now hit 40. That milestone where I expected eveything to be sorted and solved. Still I have found no-one.
I don't know where my soul-mate may be, I know she isn't in the pubs and clubs that are the staple diet of most of the people around me - the very places people tell me to go.
I also know that 'It'll just happen one day' is a load of crap.
Unfortunately a few years of having messages ignored and only having one message sent to me ever has made me realise she probably isn't here either. | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/19/2008 3:57:54 PM | PentiumPro,
None of us will ever reach the point in life when everything is sorted and solved. Because that point does not exist. And thank god for that because it would be well boring.
Well you know what - you really just need to stop looking and trying so hard. It's not exactly working is it? I dont hang out in pubs and clubs. I hang out in gyms, cinemas, theatres, and lessons of all sorts. Beaches, cliffs, boats .... Why dont you hang out where you like and see if you can find someone likeminded there? And if you dont find anyone there, you still had fun right?
And I urge you - change your user name - I am put off by it and I am a geek! | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/20/2008 3:41:11 AM | Winter Flower,
Thanks for the wakeup call - on more than just my user name. What do you think of the new one?
I never looked back and thought about what it means to anyone else. So this one's simpler. | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/20/2008 3:50:47 AM | why would a sweet young thing in her 20's date a man over 40? because you have a big wallet , sorry if the truth hurts..
So you are saying that all girls in their 20s who date older men are whores?
Why do you think that all older women set on the couch and wait for the knight in shining armour. and so what if we do?
Because they're unattractive and nobody wants them? And who cares if they do? Sorry if the truth hurts.. | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/23/2008 1:32:16 AM | According to special edition of Census 2004 (http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/002265.html) there are 95.7 million single Americans (43% of population ages 15 and up). Out of that number 54% are single women. For ages 25-34, 42% of all women are single. (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/16/us/16census.html?pagewanted=print)
So, there are millions of single 30’s women all around us. What is amazing to me that in the 21 century we are still unable to figure out an efficient way for single men and women to find each other?! The only conclusion I can come up with was already mentioned by earlier female poster, which is the fact that women are not interested in “wimps”. The process of natural selection has not changed (and it will not anytime soon) for thousands of years. Women are still attracted to confident and assertive man over his weaker competitor. Man still has to be a little older, taller with higher or at least equal education level then his female partner. Women make courtship difficult on purpose due to a primal instinct to select for the baldest, biggest, most successful mother pleaser they can get for their given social standing. This ensures that the offspring will be superior with accordance to natural selection. Emancipation of women, political, economic, religion etc. issues often complicate things a bit due to conflicting with our inherent biological instinct. This causes the divorce rate to be at such high level today, but this is for another topic.
The more women pursue equality within society (I’m all for it from the social point of view) the more confusion we get within gender roles. It is because this social empowerment does not relate and is not reflected in biological nature, we have this dissociation and difficulty in courtship and maintaining of relationships. For instance, I can’t imagine that if a woman (social equal) would come up to me and ask me out that I would reject her (at least to go out). But in reality women do not approach men (its men’s job) What’s more is that if a man does approach a woman in a public place (not social places: bar, night club) women behave as their personal rights are violated to the level of sexual harassment. So, even though there are millions of single women all around us, both men and women would like to meet each other, we can’t because of this inadequacy and uncertainty.
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/23/2008 4:39:26 AM | | "Hang out"...mmmm....the gym, my College campus, place of employment, Trader Joes, the middle of a field aiming at a deer or pheasant, my horse barn...yep..these are the places I hang out. You won't find me in bars, or day care facilities (I have no children.) We are everywhere, you just need to find us...:) | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/23/2008 7:53:55 AM | | Yea we really don't hang out anywhere unless we are out and about with the girls or on a date. At least that's where I am but not the latter. Have not really been out on date date yet but been out with the girls at POF gatherings. Also busy shopping and hanging with the kids at the beach on the weekends. Not too many social activities here where I live or at least I have not found any. | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/23/2008 10:09:55 PM |
I started to do the bar/club scene around town and I noticed that the crowd is mainly 25 and under. Where did all the 30+ women go? I must be going to the wrong places. They can't all be married. I find that women under 25 are in a totally different place than me and I can't relate.
If I want to hunt a young boy, I will go to the bar.
If I want to entertain myself, I will cook a big dinner just for myself, or book an appointment with a beauty consultant.
If I feel bored to be alone, I will have a party with my friends.
If I want to hang out, I will call someone to go out to make a weekend plan.
From Monday to Friday, I am too busy to go out because I have yoga class, aerobics class, wall climbing, on-line chatting, a long list of books must read... so, what's the point to hang out randomly in a bar just for a few drinks? | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/23/2008 11:00:37 PM |
Women have been victimized by sexist tradition. They are trained to be passive and docile and wait to be picked up by males. They are taught to fear and suppress their own sexuality, in contrast to males who are expected to celebrate and enjoy theirs. The word "stud" is considered positive, while the word "slut" is an insult.
We may have "come a long way baby" but we sure do seem to have a long way to go. I agree that most women do wait to be picked up by men. I just had a conversation with one of my gf's about that very thing. It was quite the epiphany for both us. Why did we always stand back and wait to see what guy would pick us instead of choosing the one we'd really like to have?? Craziness!
Worse yet, is realizing that it's kind of like a default prize, you get picked by some one and hopefully they happen to be someone you actually like and get along with?? I sometimes wonder if i'm getting too bold for this day and age, but then again, i doubt i'm too over the top, I still hesitate often enough. Ultimately the kind of guy i would like, would totally love that confidence about me, rather than be turned off by it or think it too forward.
That simple realization has caused me to be much more proactive. It also makes sense to me that in this day of "equality" we should be sharing some of the burden of potential rejection too. Why should guys always have to muster up the courage to make an approach? Some of my guy friends really, really hate, the ongoing rejection they have to face in the dating scene. It kind of reminds me of the irony of women wanting equal rights except when it comes time to pay the bill. We don't mind equality until it gets difficult or potentially unpleasant...?? hmmm....... | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/24/2008 12:18:39 AM | Grocery store: 30+ single women drop by on their way home from work as they don't have to shop for a family. They have baskets instead of grocery carts filled to the brim. They will look at a few of the more luxary areas and not the kid type foods - generally.
Think about time when a family person maybe out and around vs a single.
If you see someone that interests you ask them a question regarding what they will get. eg. line up for food - what are you tried here. ask if they like to go for a coffee sometime, if they say yes then ask for their number instead of going for the number right away.
Movies - standing in line ask her what she's going to see. Just happen to be seeing the same thing and start talking with her. These are not games. Just be honest and up front. We know its hard. and good luck. | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/24/2008 3:18:04 AM | | i am 44 and i go to a great singles club in and around the Bracknell/Reading area, they do different venues every Friday and Saturday night and the age range is probably 25 right up to 60, the majority of us being about 35 to 40ish so it is great, you dont feel under threat and it is nice cos you can talk to lots of people without people looking down their noses at you. I have tried places like chicagos but no good, too young. I love clubbing so enjoy a good dance. It is brilliant. hope this helps. Danceparties plus it is called and is on the internet. | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/24/2008 7:18:33 AM | I exercise at Bally Fitness, and every day I see fat women in their 60's trying to take off the fat. I think to myself , why do they come here in their 60's instead in their 20's to 50' s, that's because their membership is free, paid by Humana Gold Plus. Twenty years ago they won't go to fitness centers, because it cost money. They eat out all the time, never cook at home. They sit on their butts playing bridge all day at a country club, and having working people wait on them. That why they're fat. Eat cake all the time.
Yesterday I e-mailed a woman 65 years old , and she looked great for her age. I asked her if she exercises her face muscles. I have books and dvds by Carole Maggio. She can be found on the internet.
Harry | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/24/2008 1:00:28 PM | Wow, obviously you don't know where to go.
Many of us do get out and about. Head out to festivals, comedy clubs, pubs, sporting events. Not just all old and pruned up looking for ......... what did you say, oh, yes "that night in shining armor".
Us girls certainly know how to have fun, you just have to know where to look. | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/24/2008 1:30:44 PM | | hey lady I am not bitter workout 3 or 4 times a week am 58 nearly dont look it boobs firmer than yours and yes I am a happy bunny, do not put us older women down hun I will out shine you anyday lol | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/24/2008 1:33:36 PM | There is nothing wrong with
20+ year old women with firm breast. But that's all you'll get is a sexual good time because they haven't lived life yet...still wet behind the ears as they say..no type of intellectual conversations at all...they're just all about their myspace and facebook friends! | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/24/2008 4:52:39 PM | Exactly. They think "music" means rock, "art" means Walt Disney drawings and "literature" is what's on the back of a cereal box. It takes a few years of hard knocks to make a person enduringly interesting to be around. Taking chances and recognizing that you don't win every time. Facing the fact that there never was a Cinderella or a Prince Charming.
Any woman who feels she is rejected because she isn't beautiful would do well to consider a woman who bedded not one but TWO Roman emperors and came close to being the parent of a third. She goes down in history as a legendary beauty yet it was NOT physical beauty - Cleopatra kept her men around by giving them excellent companionship, because she was able to talk to them about things as their equal.
The fact is that experience and elegance and intelligence in a woman will always beat out the glamor of eye candy or a hot young body, if what she wants in a man is respect and long term esteem and loyalty. Many females give up on themselves too easily and fail to see what options they have. | |
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| Where do the 30+ women hang out?
Posted: 9/24/2008 7:29:10 PM |
Many females give up on themselves too easily and fail to see what options they have.
Ya it is very true! When I advise ladies in my age to have fun in some activities, they always say "no I need to take care of my kids" " no I am too old to move" "no I can not do it" "no I look ugly there".... In the end, I won't go to talk with them any more and hang out with girls in 20s... I also have some amazing friends who are in 50s, but look excellent and do well in aerobics! When I was working as a beauty consultant, I really love a customer very much --- she is a 88 years old blonde, but, she looks just like in 40s...and she can walk as fast as me.... isn't that amazing? I really believe that "you can be whatever you want..." It is not the genetic problem, it is the mind's problem.  | |
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