| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/30/2008 2:59:46 PM | While theres a sexual deviant lurking in the heart of every man - there IS the also the chance he won't be reach down your pants at the first chance he feels he has. :) we call these, good guys.
He probably still thinks about it - like any sane person - but he's jsut taking it slow, to make sure its mure then "just" the sex. | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/30/2008 9:14:38 PM |
Waiting with baited breath on the results of last nights adventure ... and we want juicy details!
I wanted to so badly, but couldn't!! I know, I'm weird! haha.
Yes, we do make out. And no, I am not complaining that we haven't had sex, but yeah, it does make me wonder if there is something wrong with me. | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/30/2008 10:30:22 PM | | I agree with piano. If I think I'm going to be in a short term relationship (STR), I'll be more aggressively sexual, but if I think she's LTR material, I'll take it slow. | |
|
wolftx
|
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 54 | |
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/30/2008 11:00:07 PM |
if there is something wrong with me.
Yes, there is something wrong with you. But you can make up for that by cleaning his house, cooking for him and switching his TV to the sports channel while you massage his neck.  | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/30/2008 11:06:28 PM | Thanks but I didn't ask for a d*ck's opinion!  | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/31/2008 12:12:51 AM | | I suppose you could rent a DVD that has sexually explicit content and watch it together. I don't necessarily mean a porn video, just a video with a heterosexual sex scene. | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/31/2008 12:42:48 AM | I think your concern of "is there something wrong with me (or him)?" is the same reason why women will lose interest in guys who don't make sexual advances, given enough time. And for you, enough time has passed (hence your post).
There's a difference between sexual advances and trying to get you in the sack ASAP. You're convinced he's not trying to get you in the sack ASAP -- "ASAP" has passed. Now you're wondering why no sexual advances at all?
From my experience and observation... Unless you both are extremely religious on the cultural level: If you don't go past 1st base after many weeks of dating, but hang out/date like you're in the 7th grade, you have every right to think something's up.
The way you describe it, he's the opposite of the guy who only wants to get in your pants. However, most women want a guy who desires to get in their pants, they just don't want that to be the ONLY thing, the primary thing from the get-go, or be identified as just that. They want a guy to like THEM. This guy's demonstrated that... but one would question his sexual desire!
Maybe when you first met, you expressed so much disdain about guys wanting to get in your pants, he's become too shy to move past 1st base... but he really likes you a lot, is willing to hold out on moving to 2nd or 3rd, and is also wondering the same thing you are. Some guys will have the girl take the lead if she's paranoid about "that's all men want" -- maybe that's exactly what is happening, and you'll laugh about it later on.
However, he could be Mr. Nice Guy(tm). A great thing after you've been screwed over by a lot of men and have a bad taste in your mouth (no pun intended)... but in the end, you start asking yourself questions -- "What about a guy who's in between?"
My advice: If you can't make the first move, hint toward it. Make comments about you trusting him. Make him feel that you don't hate men. Weave and steer conversation toward things about sex (positive, fun talk)... let him feel that you are NOT a prude... Be at your or his place, and when making out, open yourself up -- give him every signal that he CAN go to 2nd! | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/31/2008 1:57:58 AM | | OP, if you have kissed and it has not gone to the next level I would let it rest for a little bit , he clearly has feeling for you and I would be excited to find such a gentelman. Goodluck with everything! | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/31/2008 6:38:17 AM | | Sounds like a normal relationship to me. Patience is a virtue. You'll look back to the early days and miss those first few fumbles. | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/31/2008 8:47:22 AM | Well your 23, so I would assume the guy is around the same age.
I think its unfair to jump to the conclusion that there is something wrong with him. He may just simply be inexperienced with women, still brainwashed by upbringing that women don't like sex just as much as dudes.
Just make the first move, I mean if you put your hand down his pants and he pushes you away and says he wants to wait then , yea something is probly up. You don't know that yet though. | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/31/2008 8:49:55 AM |
I wanted to so badly, but couldn't!! I know, I'm weird! haha.
Yes, we do make out. And no, I am not complaining that we haven't had sex, but yeah, it does make me wonder if there is something wrong with me.
I doubt seriously that there is anything wrong with you at all! It'll happen when it happens and then you'll be all like .... OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!! | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/31/2008 11:31:09 AM | | From what I read it seems the guy your dating finds you to be very special, maybe in the back of his mind he thinks the sex is what ruined his last few relationships and not knowing the age of your man. Maybe he is maturing into a man that is realizing that sex is very important part but wants to make sure every other aspect of your realationship is secure before moving on to something that in his wiser more mature years deemed more intimate. Hope this helps. | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/31/2008 11:32:54 AM | Maybe he just takes it slow?
Maybe he doesn't separate the physical from the emotional?
Maybe he's worried about "pushing" you because of what pop culture/society tells him? Maybe it's just been his expereince that women prefer to wait in that area?
And if you want something to happen... why don't you a.) talk about it or b.) up the ante yourself?
Is it a challenge because you don't know how to deal when you aren't the one in total control of when and how the physical happens?
Does it make you worry that he's just not attracted?
I had this happen to me once. She said right from the beginning she needed to go slow, was getting over a bad breakup, etc. Then was all bent out of shape after the 3rd date because I ("still") hadn't tried to get past 2nd yet. Apparently just needed the ego boost and felt "unattractive" to me because I could actually excercise a bit of self restraint. | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/31/2008 7:56:56 PM |
I doubt seriously that there is anything wrong with you at all! It'll happen when it happens and then you'll be all like .... OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!
That just made me laugh! haha.
And if you want something to happen... why don't you a.) talk about it or b.) up the ante yourself?
Too afraid to. When I did bring it up once, he answered & that was the end of it.
Does it make you worry that he's just not attracted?
Yes. He has never once told me I look pretty or any of that stuff. I tell him he looks good, or that he looks sexy. But he never says anything back. | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/31/2008 8:10:35 PM | Yes. He has never once told me I look pretty or any of that stuff. I tell him he looks good, or that he looks sexy. But he never says anything back.
That's a big red flag hun.
Personally, I'm always gonna tell her she's hot even if we haven't had sex yet. If I'm not saying it, then I don't want it. | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/31/2008 9:08:33 PM | | Should I casually bring it up that he has never told me that? I have hinted a number of times that I wanted him to say it..but got nothing. | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/31/2008 9:11:49 PM | Should I casually bring it up that he has never told me that? I have hinted a number of times that I wanted him to say it..but got nothing.
Most definitely and not casually either. Be clear with him because you NEED to know. His willingness to talk about it or his effort at avoiding it is your answer. | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/31/2008 9:19:03 PM | I'll bring it up next time I see him. Thanks Jim!  | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/31/2008 9:21:02 PM |
I'll bring it up next time I see him. Thanks Jim!
Just prepare yourself for what you might not like but it's time to put your foot down. Either he wants you or he doesn't. There's no middle ground here. | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/31/2008 9:24:07 PM | | Better to know now than later. I'll post again when I talk to him. | |
|
sof72
|
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 71 | |
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/31/2008 9:50:46 PM | Contrary to what the world seems to think, not ALL guys are freakin' horndogs. I agree with piano in msg 6 -
The MORE he actually feels for you.... the LESS he is actually inclined to make sexual advances early on in the relationship However, most normal guys aren't opposed to sex if offered. If sexual advance is what you're looking for, then make the move (or at least the suggestion) yourself. He obviously cares for you and is attracted to you. | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 7/31/2008 10:43:46 PM | | this is a rare fellow who doesnt want sex to be the focus of the relationship.i know i am one to.i hope you do not have an immensly high sex drive because i can almost asure you he does not. | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 8/1/2008 12:38:32 AM | Maybe he has a broken pecker, should I ask him? Want us to call him and tell him to bring over the videos and whip cream? lol  | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 8/1/2008 8:32:22 AM | Could just be he feels it's implied that he's attracted, otherwise wouldn't be there?
Doesn't want to seem like just another horny guy?
Is afraid if he brings it up you might be offended?
Could be he just isn't much interested in sex or isn't all that attracted. But more likely, I'd say there's a good chance he either a.) doesn't feel it's "safe" yet to be sexual with you or b.) is just more focused on the "getting to know" and doesn't want to get physically involved until he feels he wants to be emotionally involved - or is already taking you seriously and therefore wants to take it slow (either to avoid pushing you, or to avoid letting himself get too attached too quickly). | |
|
| no sexual advances
Posted: 8/1/2008 9:05:49 AM | It's possible he's just not a man and doesn't know how to take controal
It's possible that he's gay...yes...I'm serious! I've met many many men who are married with kids but are gay and their wives don't know!
It's possible that he's been hurt in the past so he doesn't want to rush things. | |
|
Home
login 
