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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!      Home login  
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 DFishwick
Joined: 10/3/2007
Msg: 251
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I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!Page 11 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Its ironic because ie been in that situation almost constantly, since i was about 13. Except that i became too upset to cry and its very difficult for me to cry now not because the pain is less, but because ive been so battered my whole life that i can hardly feel anything any more, unitl a while ago, i lost ALL ability t feel emotion and my heart went cold yet i cared not. Only seeing anew girl and believing she liked me opened me up again (slowly) yet if her love were to turn out false, id just freeze again, and become a cold, robot for the rest of my life.
To the original poster, beware because if your hurt continues, you too may lose the ability to feel anything and it doesnt really make it any better because your also unable to feel pleasure (with your child growing up for example). Your very lucky to have this as i ONLY have "assumptions" that the girl actually likes me and is not playing games (all the girls ive loved have to some extent) and a few bizzare evnts that occured when i was a child which are connected to this girl.
 bestfriendetc.
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 252
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 5/27/2008 7:22:50 PM
Dear ifuwish2,
I can so feel your pain! If I could take it all away from you I would but that's impossible. I am now 52 years old, my entire life even from childhood has been nothing but pain and rejection. I raised 11 kids but only had 2 of my own. I've spent my entire life giving wonderful love to the wolves. I finally went to see a therapist because I thought there was something wrong with me. Well after qtit a few visite with her and I went every week for a while I learned some very valuable lessons. The things I learned about my way of thinking and other peoples ways of thiking comnpletely changed my life. There isnothing wrong with you nor I, other people that are miserable try their best to make other people think they are unworthy of being loved and try to make others feel like we don't deserve to be loved by the. People with insecurity issues try to mess with you mind because their minds are so messed up . Most people today are so selfish and self centered they don't deserve your love. And for anyone to desert their own children for another person is unexcusable and not to be respected at all. I always said that I hoped someday I would be able to help someone like I was helped so I could give back something that was given to me, MY LIFE BACK!!!! I'm still single now after 4 years but I am happy with myself and who I am. I feel very special because I like ypou raised my kids alone and they give me so much love and respect for it in return that I wouldn't have missed it for the world. I feel like one of the most blessed people on earth. Yes I still cry at times but I don't let the bad memories take up rent in my thoughts any more. If you would like to have a non-judgemental person to talk to about your feelings I would be more than happy to share some things with you that I feel saved and changed my life. There is a light a the end of the tunnel, you just have to want t more than anything and work to get close to it every day. Just know I'm here if you or anyone else in your frame of mind would like some understanding words and a non-judgemental ear to talk to. here is no pain like a broken heart, believe I know very well, it almost cost me my life.
Sincerely, bestfriendetc.
 1z2xqaws
Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 253
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:26:30 PM
may the god of our hearts send mojo to each and every fat, hideous, putty-faced, loser; that they may find their optimal mates and/or trophy bangs. ( what, you think that young commando stud is me? )

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/
http://www.womenshappiness.com/
http://doctorpaul.net/

god- the ultimate anti-elitist
 DLo!
Joined: 4/23/2008
Msg: 254
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I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:58:14 PM
If you truly have God in your life, you are never "ALONE" I believe most are in the state of needed love from another to fill an emptiness. It is something I will avoid in a person because I don't want to be someone's savior of loneliness because it becomes a mental draw on me. I look for females that are truly happy with themselves and have love to give because they want to...not because they need it back. ..and I do the same. If you people are crying it is because something is not right with you. Fix you first and be happy with yourself, by yourself. You'll be able to give more of yourself that way. A good way to start is making friends of the opposite sex. Friends Love affection and companionship too. Friends are always happy when you call and are thinking of them. Be a giver...and you won't be thinking of yourself so much.

Hope that helps some of you

 bestfriendetc.
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 255
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 5/28/2008 4:41:11 AM
You are 100% right about what you said, I try to practice the same technique and it does wonders for me! You go boy!!!
bestfriendetc.
 bestfriendetc.
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 256
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 5/28/2008 4:58:31 AM
I HATE TO SOUND HARSH BUT IF SHE WERE YOUR BEST FRIEND SHE WOULD NOT HAVE LEFT YOU. YOU WERE HER BEST FRIEND AND SHE EVIDENTLY DIDN'T APPRECIATE THAT FACT TOO WELL. THERE ARE A FEW GOOD DESCENT WOMEN OUT THERE WHO WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A GUY WHO WAS THEIR BEST FRIEND AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN. I'VE LOVED AND LOST MYSELF BUT I'VE BEEN FORTUNATE TO MEET GREAT FRIENDS WHO WERE THERE FOR ME, TO LISTEN WITHOUT JUDGING OR GIVING UNWANTED ADVICE BUT JUST LISTENED AND GAVE ME AN EAR AND A SHOULDER BUT AT THE SAME TIME SHOWED ME HOW TO GET UP AND STAY UP AND HOW TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF AGAIN. SO PLEASE DRY YOUR TEARS, THINK HOW FORTUNATE YOU ARE TO BE ABLE TO LOOK FOR A TRUE BEST FRIEND AND A TRUE BEST FRIEND IS A BEST FRIEND FOR LIFE, NOT JUST UNTIL SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE EXCITING COMES ALONG AS DISTRACTS THEM FROM ALL YOU HAVE TO OFFER THEM. YOU HAVE SO MUCH GOING FOR YOU , JUST LIFT THAT CHIN UP AND SMILE AND YOU'LL FIND HAPPINESS AGAIN K.,
TIME WILL DRY THOSE TEARS, YOU'LL SEE, I KNOW FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCE. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND OTHERS WILL SEE THAT AND BE VERY DRAWN TO IT AND NEVER FEEL LIKE YOU WERE A FAILURE O.K. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT SO BE PROUD OF YOURSELF FOR WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU REPRESENT AND TRY SMILING WHEN YOUR HEART IS BREAKING. AS SOMEONE TOLD ME A WHILE BACK, FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT. I TRIED IT, IT WORKED AND IT CAN AND WILL WORK FOR YOU AS WELL. YOUR FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 AnglFlynToCloseToGround
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 257
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 5/28/2008 5:00:34 AM
Wanting someone to be there is a human emotion that most people deni . People now days have to act like they are so together while giving up what makes us human . I dont care who they are its human to want someone there . I cry myself to sleep . I get up and go on . Sorry you were left and your kids were left . Maybe someone will come along and the loneliness that you feel . I hope so . Wish you the best .
 mar!a
Joined: 1/21/2008
Msg: 258
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 6/5/2008 4:58:00 AM
i still cry at night alone sumtimes its been 7 long yrs now 4me i totaly feel an understand u yea my x was a horrible person he left scars [mentle ones] in me an kids he wasnt a nice r decent person dats all i will say scars can heal but its wats on inside dat takes time yea im left wth 4 beautiful kids doin it all on my own no help frm him im findin it hard 2 get a bloke mayb they r afraid of commitment [mayb its d kids thing] night time is bad but yea im managin only 4 dis an chatin 2 people again as ita hard 2 get out once u got kids i have left my past in d past dont hate him anymore im better than d word hate dats wot i say i pick up d peices every day but am glad an grateful 4 wot i have now my freedom my independence i can choose have safe home now [wasnt in d past] an a life i feel better now than wot i did when i was married i have d love of my kids an respect they kno i wld never up an leave them im a mum an proud of it life can b difficult full of ups an downs have learnd 2b strong have alot 2 offer an i kno one day pleesegod i will find my prince der r good decent blokes an people out der wish u luck on ur travels tru life keep smilin an hold ur head up high i do here is a we all need one of does now an again
 horsefeed
Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 259
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I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:10:58 AM
If u really want to get over it. find something to do that you like, that takes time. Go to Church often and surround yourself with loving people. I just lost my wife of 53 years. she wasn't sick or anything. She just died in her sleep one night. this was my second wife so there is always someone that God has for you. think positive.
 joeinchicago1970
Joined: 8/1/2007
Msg: 260
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:14:34 PM
I may be harsh here. But buck up and stop your whining. I lost probably as much as I could ( mine involves a child kidnapped by mom) . I started off crying, but every tear you shed is strenth and energy leaving. Strength and energy that can be used to help yourself. Think about it and stop the tears....
 juicy22054
Joined: 2/2/2005
Msg: 261
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:55:50 PM
women deal with this our whole lifetime.we are left alone with kids,bills,depression,etc.i really didnt know men go though it also.nobody today seems to want to be with 1 person anymore ,thats the problem they want variety and quick intercourse and they move on.
 juicy22054
Joined: 2/2/2005
Msg: 262
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:01:44 PM
i feel the same way.i to have given all my life but never really recieve love in return.i to have raised 7 kids,but only 3 were mine so we have alot in common.id like to chat sometimes with you.
 indehills
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 263
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:08:29 PM
The OP wrote:

My ex left me for a younger man and i ended up with the kids.Now i have to raise then alone and i feel so lonely and broken hearted.

Its funny, this was written JUST over a month after my ex-wife did the same thing to me, sort of. She found someone else (although he was a filthy drug-head. Don't know why she went to him). She left and didn't want anything to do with me OR our son. So I went to court, got the divorce, and got full custody of our son.

Since then I've been in a 2 year LTR with someone else, though it didn't work out. So I've spent the last 8 months trying to get over HER, and soon I'll be finding someone else yet again.

Hope it worked out for the OP. I didn't look very close for any follow-ups that might say what eventually happened.
 Megaladonfishy
Joined: 5/7/2008
Msg: 264
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I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:45:16 PM
I'm not posting this to give you guys a tough time or give you some pity party.
1. Get your house in order, ie. if it looks like a hellhole bachelor pad, clean it up and make it look like a nice home
2. Get yourself and your kids out and get involved in things, sports, pta, scouts, swim lessons, anything and everything
There are tons of single women out there with kids who's husbands left them and they're taking their kids to do all these things, get out there and open your eyes!!
When you meet one and she comes over, she wants a man who takes care of himself, his kids, and his home even when the chips are down!!
 willing61
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 265
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/2/2008 11:19:15 PM
Just wanted to comment on your message. Life is all about decisions and the ones you make alter your future. present. happiness is inside you not what other people provide for you.. I have been alone a long time. but its my choice. It really is all about choices. some people work better as one and some people work beter as partners each is a choice. ..kisses to your lonely nights
 Urban Flower
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 266
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/2/2008 11:38:52 PM
I am reading this thread with tears in my eyes!Loneliness is the crappiest thing!I have lovely friends and a loving family but when i close my front door the emptiness hits me .How lovely it would be to come home to loving arms after a days work.How lovely would it be to have someone hold me all night.How lovely would it be to give love and know it is returned.I feel that loneliness like most who have posted on this thread.Hopefully one day though.One day.......
 vivaciousvixen2
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 267
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/2/2008 11:39:14 PM
Oh, this is a great posting. i wish the man i am going to say this about isn't going to read my posting BUT he is. Now this is pathetic. i have 2 children 2 an 5. my son is autistic. I am raising my children and taking away paternal rights. i am either going through some financial disagreement for me gettting sued, litigation or court. Luckily, short but sweet, not to get into detail , my ex does not take his meds, he tried to commit suicide in the USA when we were married and he was locked up in the crazy hospital....and still doesn't take his meds lives in Canada and is a British citisen.

So, i let this man into my life. I watch how many people's fav list he is on....
It jumped from 106 to 96 and then 2 roses were missing. No roses or gifts went to me.
So, I told him off, or cursed him out...he blocked me. I callled him on his cell and told him that yo can't just treat me as trash and discard me like this. Since then. He has e-mailed and called. I called back. He e-mail and said that i am not right for him and am nasty to people. i e-mailed him told him he is mean to keep his 100 friends not call me don't bother me and leave me alone.

so what does he do? he calls. yeah. blocks me on POF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!on the e-mail tells me that i am not right for him and then calls. has his 100 friends...........
i told him to leave me alone that he has 100 friends and he does NOT need me!!!!!!!!
he is meaner then my husband was and hurt me more
 lily595
Joined: 6/19/2008
Msg: 268
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:33:13 AM
recently i also do it too,often feel alone and cry for myself.i can not think i am not so bad why i need suffer from alone.but for my son i must to did.i had a broken heart now since i was divorced.how man can let me trust.i try to believe man,but i can not.often i am closed myself in home.don't want meet people.i know i can not like now to live,i know i should need care from friends ,but why i can not be now?and often cry at night alone.
 Immortal_Technique
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 269
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I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:25:07 AM
I was fine until I went to a festival. I saw too many love birds and it made me bitter again. I don't cry, I just feel a bit disappointed in myself and it gets the point where I just wish I could be asexual. I'm still working on that part. How nice would it be to not have a need for love. I'd take feeling nothing over feeling something.
 kbax2u
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 270
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:11:40 AM
Yea Guys aceblades spot on ! Don't feel misserable your only causing yourself more hurt ! The best way to approach things is to develope a new state of mind, a new you so to speak! tell yourself whats happened has happened and theres nothing you can do about past situations and the emotions that went with them!
then take a truthful look at your current situation , where your at now, how your life is now and what you can do about it NOW !
What can you do about YOUR LIFE NOW ?
How can YOU ! improve your life and what can YOU DO ! to increase your chances of meeting not just someone the same as your ex, but someone EVEN BETTER !
Ask yourself this ! After the ex walking out on you, do they realy deserve you to keep giving emotionally and hurting about them long after they have gone and couldnt give a monkys?
SO WHY HURT ? Put all that energy into doing something about it instead!
Take responsibility for your own situation and your own current circumstances!
I'm in no way suggesting that you are responsible for her leaving!
But you are responsible for letting it hold you back! And you are responsible for not doing something positive about it!
TAKE ACTION, POSITIVE ACTION !
GET YOURSELF TOGETHER!
RESPECT YOURSELF, WHO YOU ARE FOR YOU !
WHEN YOU START TO LOVE AND APPRICIATE YOURSELF FOR
"WHO YOU ARE"
AND LIVE YOUR LIFE, ON YOUR TERMS, MAKING YOUR DECISIONS, BASED ON YOUR DREAMS Take up new interests ones you know will work!
THEN MY FRIENDS YOU WILL START TO CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT AND BE FOCUSED ON NOW ! AND THE FUTURE ! "YOUR FUTURE "!
What I'm trying to say is that we only hurt because we choose to hurt, we tell ourselves to hurt in our own minds! And that holds us back from taking real action to deal with the situation in a realistic practical way SO TAKE ACTION ! to change you! how you think! put the ex out with the past, she didnt deserve you if she didn't appriciate your worth so put her out of your mind the next time you empty the binns! if you know what I mean ?
TRUST ME IT WORKS !
All the best to you guys! you'll win! you'll see ? Kyle
If your going through hell keep going ! Winston Churchill
I have learnt more from my failures than my successes ! Richard Branson
You can't help the poor by being one of them! Abraham Lincoln
If you can imagine it, it can be done! Walt Disney
so what are you waiting for ?
 indehills
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 271
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:28:32 AM

There are tons of single women out there with kids who's husbands left them and they're taking their kids to do all these things, get out there and open your eyes!!

Advice that so far has left you single, too... What's that saying, "do as I say, not as I do"?
 45470ss
Joined: 11/18/2007
Msg: 272
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:37:56 AM
hang in there, good luck for your search,
 GoodDay
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 273
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I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:49:11 AM
GEEEZZZZUZZZZ! What a pathetic thread!!! And 11 pages of crying! Holy cow!

Ok, everyone cries. Everyone has pain. The extent of wallowing in self-pity falls squarely on the shoulders of each person. If all you have is a negative outlook, you will only attract negative people into your life...or no one at all as any sane person would avoid you like the plague!

Reading through these comments, if I judged each person based on their sad, self-pitying thoughts, I'd NEVER want to meet that person...and yet, I'm sure there is so much more to each and every one of those folks.

What outlook are you presenting to the outside world? Obviously, the 'poor pitiful me' attitude is NOT attracting anyone good into your lives. Change it. You are the only one who can. Find something positive to do with yourself. Get outside of your head. Take a class. Find a hobby. Take dance lessons and then go dancing. Improve yourself. You'll be happier and you may even attract the person you want...who knows...it might be in one of the classes or places you decide to frequent.

I've been alone now for 10 years. Do I want a companion? Sure, I do! Do I want the WRONG companion? Hell no! I've already been through that. I'm not sitting around waiting for the phone to ring, I'm doing things I've always wanted to do, but couldn't because I was raising kids as a single mom. It's not always easy to keep a positive attitude, but we have to try. It feels much better than letting misery take over.

Do something positive for yourself today!
 steelcowboy1959
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 274
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I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:52:20 AM
I am just going to say this. I am about your age. And I am still looking. Be careful,there is a reason some of these people are on here,and not in a relationship.
 *in*spired
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 275
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:56:05 AM
H = IJ.............Happiness Is an Inside Job.


You will find that once you stop putting the emphasis on trying to create happiness with needing someone in your life ............rather finding happiness within yourself people will want to be around you more. Not you in specific but people looking at the negative sides in general. I myself have suffered 2 major open heart surgeries, had a pace maker implant, suffered a stroke and a minor heart attack...........was adopted at age 2............my list could continue.

I guess what I'm trying to say is..........I could let alllllllll these things feed into me and make me a very "woa is me" type of person.........instead I chose Life!!

A life of loving and laughing. I am a strong believer in finding out as much as you can about yourself and the rest will fall into place...........and if Love with another person is not found.........at least you have love within yourself!



Things can be hard sometimes, but I have to agree with the above. Although, getting to the above place requires, talking, crying and trying again and again...
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