| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:01:09 AM | Remember that Garth Brooks video where he's singing about a break-up and RAIN is just pouring down, soon as he wakes, dresses, eats -- well, that's what it feels like, you put one step in front of the other but man, rain is pouring down on your head.
What was that song? Thing is, she may come back: but would you forgive her? Think about it. Keep busy and do what's good for you and the kids. My best, MB | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:14:06 AM | Since the original post was made in October 2005 I'm wondering if the OP is still crying alone in bed here in 2008.
I'd change the mattress OP. | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:20:18 AM | I keep hearing people say, "love will happen when you least expect it" and. "Keep you chin up". None of this is comforting. When we are lonely we find ourselves looking at each and every person we meet that is single and of the opposite sex to see if maybe...... So how on earth will love happen when you least expect it? Why is it the single people that keep saying that? Keeping your chin up is easy in the day time when your around people, it is the quite times, when we are alone that the tears flow.
I really understand the tears. They seem to even flow when they are not showing on the face. I have an emptiness deep down in my heart that even my Lord Jesus can't seem to fill. Although I ask HIM to all the time. Humans were created for relationship, to each other, and to God. It is part of our nature to want and need each other.
The only cure for this loneliness is meeting someone special and working on a relationship with him/her. I pray that the Lord give each of us, that cry alone at night, our mates. It is not good that man should be alone, not good at all.
My only advise to us all is do not grow bitter with all this sadness. It will go away eventually with time, I have faith in this. Keep looking, she/he is out there somewhere, just be ready for disappointments. We may have to kiss a lot of frogs to find our prince/princess.
Kiss your kids, they are such treasures!
Lin  | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/4/2008 1:24:45 PM | [quote Advice that so far has left you single, too... ]
Poor thing, stick to the subject | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:34:42 PM | I'm going to go out on a limb here, because I see it all the time these days. I'm NOT trying to be ugly or unfeeling. I've been there and wrote my own set of books. BUT, and that's a big one:
You are responsible for your own happiness
You are the only one who can change your situation
You must learn to live and enjoy the life that you've been given
and... You MUST learn to be a man again!!!
If you've let a woman and relationship castrate you, or done it to yourself emotionally... all I can say is man-up dudes.
Regardless of what our society tells you to be... And how you've been programmed to be "sensitive"... there are times for that, and times to be a hard*ss. And there's a balance.
Women say they want a nice guy... but you're sitting home aren't you? Let me say this. I've seen it over and over again on here. "Looking for a REAL man". What does that mean...really? What is masculinity anyhow? Can you "be the man" and still have a strong and sensitive heart? Yes! And you can do it without being a complete jerk or a user.
Go and get the book "Wild at Heart" by Eldridge. Figure out who and what you were created to be. And be the man... Don't keep living as the victim, and don't keep wishing for that perfect woman to fall in your lap. Until you get your own self, and heart handled, you'll never be able to handle or keep that perfect woman when she comes into your life. | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:21:07 AM | Yes it is painful, but you are asking to make it much worse. You state loud & clear that you are getting a huge settlement within a year. Never say such a thing loud & clear to strangers out there. You are asking to get hit on by any dishonest female in yr province that happens to read it. Go to yr doctor, crying is somewhat normal but when it is as much as you describe, it could be contributing to a nervous breakdown. Do you have a good male friend you can TRUST? You state that you are lonely in your profile. Take the "Lonely" out. There are givers & takers in this world. When a taker sees that, they know you are vulnerable & plan how they can exploit you. I don't mean to be so negative but I feel you should protect yourself, build yourself up physically for the benefit of yourself and your children and get COUNSELLING at Family Services as soon as possible. Explain how U hav been feeling. It will do you a lot more good just now than looking for a replacement for your ex , only to fine another bad apple.
Google ' self-esteem 'and work on yourself. When you are under stress, your kids absorb it from you. When you work on yourself and perk up, they pik up the better feelings also. A step at a time, a day at a time, you will make it. I bet you are a kind loving dad. Dont be afraid. If U feel fear creep in, throw it away. Anybody can do it for one day at a time. Your kids love you. Instead of sitting around all uptight, take them out for an ice cream together. For you, just like it was for me years ago, it was worse at night....sooo go to bed early. Mornings are great. If U drink coffee, make it decaffinated. If you smoke, smoke a couple less, then a couple less again, etc.every 2 wks. juice instead of pop, cut bak on sugar & get full sleep. Physical & emotional are linked. Make Doc appt. Care 4 Yrself & kids , I wud get off POF for a while. Go to singles dances & come home on yr own till you build yrself up, otherwise U will meet losers & more problems U dont need! You can do it!! Say, "I am Worth it! " E. | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:28:04 AM | Your kids otta be out w/you as:
"babe magnets!
In the next week you can find ladies presenting as great moms,w/your kids .
Check 'em out.Date the great-wait as perfect is the idea.
And cryin'all night ;no gal's worth that.
You want a
woman to make you happy or someone who watches the back,yours first,and back-to-back as w/a foil.
WANNA cry all night==write a country song. | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:55:30 PM | It has been three years are you still this sad and lonely? I hate to know that people are so hard on each other breaks my heart.  | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/19/2008 8:29:58 PM | | Imagine how your children feel! Wipe your tears and focus more on their feelings! From one full time parent to another.. what your wants are now truly don't matter! It's all about them! | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/19/2008 11:19:13 PM | I agree. You must get out of this detrimental cycle of self pity. We have all been hurt. I am not minimizing your pain, but honey, there is life out there. You have to pull yourself up. It has been three years. If you don't focus on the positive aspects in your life and try to find something to be grateful for everyday you will self destruct and possibly be lonely for a lot longer. Don't compare every woman you meet to her. Look deeply and see what qualities they posses that could make you happy and hone in on your own positive qualities. Seek God with all of your heart and watch the good things that come your way. YOU are more powerful than you are giving yourself credit for. Don't let her hurt you for one more second. | |
|
| |
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:28:55 AM | Hi there!
I just seen your post on the forum. I havent read all the replies yet....but have checked out your profile. And I hope you dont mind....but I just want to give you some advice. Rewrite your profile. You come across as sounding really desperate...and I know you aren't....but you don't want others to think that either. Get rid of all mentions of being alone and lonely. Focus on the positive. You have children....mention how you are a single parent raising your children alone. Talk about your goals and hobbies....and your personality. And please remove the part about getting a huge settlement. There are a lot of people out there that only see dollar signs...and I'm sure you know this. You may be lonely right now....but you are not desperate. You don't want to find a gold digger!
And have faith, hun! The right one is out there....and she will come along. In the meantime, focus on the good stuff. Turn off the tv...and dive into a good book. Spend time with your friends and your children.
Amy | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/21/2008 12:18:43 AM | I know this an old post, but I see a lot of guys who have written feel the same way you do.
My wife of 14 years died a few days before your original post. At the time, I thought I would never be able to continue living but every sight of my then 10 year old was a shot of why I had to be strong.
I cried a lot initially but today, seeing how I have managed over three years as a single Dad to a kid whose mother is not there from something that is not his own doing I can honestly say that the kid has and continues to be my strength. You need to see the challenge of raising your kids as a source of strength for moving on.
You wife took off, you have the kids, you are lonely... Step outside the box and look at the positives. She did not deserve you. Stop the victim mentality because contrary to what some may say here, Victim mentality turns 99% of women off. Most women what a strong take charge man. Do not take this the wrong way, as I am not in any way asking you to go and re-take your wife, but if you change your ways, sometimes old lovers come running back. If you were the clingy needy and unassertive person that your profile says, then you contributed to your wife leaving.
Change your profile, become less of a wuss
Create a role model for your kids. You can and should make your life the focus and not let your ex-wife's actions rule your potentially bright future! Remember, life is waht you make of it. | |
|
| |
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:09:05 PM | | oops I made a typo error lol.As I was saying I was divorced and after my ex I gave up on men for sometime so that I can heal.My ex did a bad thing and I had to end it.Then I started to date and I found this man he was verbally abusive and physically abusive as well..But I was alone along time and was just getting back into dating and dating has changed from years ago.Now I know is to watch out for red flags and my gut or I would of not been with this guy.I will not give up.I know the right decent guy is out there for me and if I do not find him so what at least I did not let the last two jerks beat me down I kept looking.I will not stay alone .I have learned alot and the minute something does not add up or feel right I am running for the door. | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:27:34 PM | Helpful hint. Go get youself a pedicure and maybe manicure. Go update your glasses and maybe buy a few new shirts. Up date youself just a little bit. Get out of your comfort zone and do new things. Go out a little bit to places where there are things you like and find a friend that is into the same things. We all often cry alone at night but we need to shake it off, put a smile on our face and keep moving forward. Your heart will eventually mend. The best thing you can do for yourself is live a happy life. Don't focus on what she is doing, focus on what you have. Sounds like you are the lucky one.
Did you end up with the kids or are you blessed in being the one that has the extradoinary pleasure of raising them, watching and loving them as they grow up and become adults? It is all in how we look at things and how you verbalize it. Keep saying you are sad and you will stay sad. Keep saying you are happy and you will suddenly realize you have moved on AND you are happy.
Good Luck to you. | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:59:37 PM | | Been there it does get better. Soon those memories will fade and you will make new ones. Not to say that you may not experience heart again a few times before you find the right person. Good luck in your search for the one... | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 9/16/2008 9:53:12 PM | I was left too but he took me back after being with his mistress all summer and referring to me as his ex.
I wish I too can just find someone who will replace him and who I can start a new with.
I wish I could just take you into my arms and we can cry together ... or just laugh together and heal.
I'm here for you both who have such broken hearts. I know how it feels. My friend's husband committed suicide after she left him.
Just know that there are a lot of women on this site who want to be loved. You just have to find them.
I'm one of them ;) | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 9/17/2008 3:09:34 AM | | Too bad we live so far away. It seems like all the fishies in my fish pond turn and run when the word commitment is mentioned. I don't want to shack up either; I need something serious. I have a 7 yr old. Just one child is difficult to raise on your own, much less several. Try finding a woman at your local church. You may find your angel there. | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 9/17/2008 3:20:20 AM | U need to take off the part about the HUGE SETTLEMENT ur fishin but that BAIT there is gonna get u a ROTTEN fish  MARK my words  kathi | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 9/17/2008 3:24:14 AM | OMG,what a bunch of depressed people.
You ended up with the kids to raise alone.
Had she taken the kids you would be crying over
her taking the kids.Why would you cry over someone that
cheated on you and left you.Thank god you have your kids ,
put some of this negative ,poor little me energy into your kids and turn it around. | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 9/17/2008 3:32:55 AM | | Someone pass me the violin , get a grip buddy , you think you're doing it tough what about the guys in Iraq , the young babys locked up in aslyums in Romania, forget the romance thing , go out and help people , join a volunteer organisation, lost the self pity | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 9/17/2008 4:15:34 AM | | It's a tough row to hoe. I was married for 25 years and in the relationship for a total of 30 years in April finally realized what I had known for awhile. It had been over for awhile. It does get easier. I surround myself with friends, I don't date much(my choice) because I 'm not ready for a relationship. Friends can help you overcome so much, and so can your kids. | |
|
| |
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 9/17/2008 5:58:51 AM | Lots of 'crying in your beer' material here for country song writers. All they need to do is swoop in and scoop it all up.  | |
|
Home
login 
