|
|
|
|
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 6/13/2005 1:53:13 PM | | I'm 19 and feel like shit, I didn't think I was so horribly disfigured where nobody even wants to attempt to get to know me. I know I still have years to find someone but when I've only had one girl my entire life when my friends have been with so many they don't even remember the number, it's a huge blow to someones self confidence. | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 6/14/2005 2:54:15 AM | A few years ago, a couple of women from New York City.............one was a psychologist, the other owned an online dating service.............wrote a book about Online Dating.
In this day and age, many people have forgotten about what it means to "Date".
"Dating" is not much different than being an employer interviewing prospective candidates for a job. You're looking for someone that matches your goals and interests. The difference is................so are they.
So, Dating is what Dating is.
That being said, these two women talked about a online dating technique which they pushed really hard................and which I now swear by.
It's called "Bulk Dating". Here is how it works...............
1) You go through various online dating sites and membership directories (Yahoo, MSN, AOL, etc.). You scan through them using Advanced Search criteria, and you contact as many as you can. Make sure you provide AS MUCH detail as possible about who you are, what you want, and what you have to offer, without violating your own comfort zone. This way, the people you contact have a chance to see if THEY feel any compatibility with YOU.
2) Eventually, you build up a contact list of 40 or 50 people to talk to. Talk with them online using Yahoo Messenger, AOL Messenger, MSN Messenger, or any Instant Message program that has archiving ability (you'll want to be able to recall past conversations after talking with that many people). The object is to get to know them to see if any are compatible with you, and you with them. BE HONEST IN THAT YOU ARE DATING OTHERS!!!
3) From that set of 40 or 50 people, you narrow it down to 5 or 6 that you're willing to talk on the phone with. Again, you continue to weed through to see if any are compatible with you, and you with them.
4) From there, you narrow it down to 1 or 2 people you're willing to go out on a first date with. If the first date works out, you go out on a second date. If that works out, you go out again and again until you decide you want to see that person exclusively, or that it isn't going to work out for you.
5) If things work out, then the technique worked. You contact others on your list, and say you met someone and will be dating that person EXCLUSIVELY and you thank everyone for their time. If things DON'T work out, then you set aside the ENTIRE list, and you start the whole process again from scratch.
Try to remember that the three keys to the success of this technique is that
- You're honest with ALL you talk to and go out with that you are talking with others.
- You're honest and up front with what you want, what you're looking for, who you are, and how you feel about the person you're talking with.
- That you stay the course and don't get too discouraged along the way.
Trust me when I say that this technique DOES work, and you WILL have far more luck with meeting other people. I know a lady that I told this to, and she found her fiancee using this technique inside of 4 months.
Sincerely, Mitch | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 6/14/2005 7:22:14 AM | | wow, dont cry, you are doing the right thing, raising your kids all by yourself, it takes a real man to do that. It will pay off in the long run . There are so many more women than men out there, you will find someone wonderful, I am so impressed at what a good man you are. | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 6/15/2005 4:48:17 AM | Hey bud
Dont lose hope she will come its hard to put the past behind you time is the key but time will change things try to stay objective believe in your self your kids love you man any good woman is gonna see that dont waste your time on the past take your kids to places were other female single parents collect you may find you have things in common peace and good will man | |
|
xyz001
|
Joined: 9/18/2004
Msg: 55 | |
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 6/15/2005 9:32:04 AM | Time is the greatest and only healer. You can talk with as many people as you want and get all the best advice, but it will be time that finally heals your heart.
You also have to allow yourself to open up, I'm not saying you'll be able to fully trust someone but you need to slowly open up. Good communications is a must, it's a start at least.
Trust, hope and faith are another thing, but in time they also will come about.
But whatever you do don't find a lady just to fill your lonely nights, this will be bad for you and worst for the children. Don't rush into anything, take your time because in time you will meet the right woman. Remember, dont get weak, the children are the most important thing we have in our lives and they have gone through enough, no need to compond the issues more for them.
My broken heart story just happened: I work in Europe and try making it home (Alaska) as much as I can. During my last trip (this month), I walked away from the only woman I have ever loved in my whole life. Our love wasn’t easy in the making and it took years for me to realize how much I needed her, but I had to walk away because it was our 9 year old daughter to told me “mommy is seeing a man after I go to sleep”, and not once but (according to mommy) 5 times this happened. It was a dagger in my heart that will never – ever stop bleeding. We had been planning on getting married and I was submitting an annulment through the Catholic church, so when she told me I was crushed.
Loneliness, needy desires and selfishness drove my woman away from me; I don't hate her but I can never forgive her, nor ever take her back; I'm such a mocho smock!
Last night I wrote this short poem while listening to an old song by Cher. I leave you with a simple message, be strong, as strong as you can be, stay active and keep punching away. Good luck!
After love, there is life…
Do you believe in life after love?
Are you ready to leave the past behind and move forward?
Are you strong enough to beginning a new relationship, or are you still dependent?
It is true we think of them always, even when we are asleep…
We may never forget, but in time the sun will shine again and even brighter
For love is but an extended season
As the sorrow of winter falls away and spring approaches
Your heart will open to new love, new passions, new tastes and new beginnings
Still I must survive the winter… | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 6/15/2005 11:24:18 AM | what a great response. I agree with it whole heartedly. true love will find you . don't feel sorry that you were left on your own. you have the unconditional love of your children,. you must also have unconditional love of yourself. when you shine inside, that light emanates and lifts everyone around you. you will find the right person. I am afraid of love too, because it has the capacity to elevate a person, and at the same time it has the ability to bury you. don't be sad. things will get better. just live your life minute by minute. good luck to you, and only smiles, no tears.
hugs
Nancy:) | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 6/15/2005 2:30:02 PM | Thats so tragic. Ive been left recently, the guy was not right for me, and in fact was very WRONG for me, but we had at best times, a close loving relationship. We were together a lot of the time for 3 years. Prior to that Id been alone for 8 years and LOVED it. But this last guy was very tactile, very loving and we were inseperable.
Now the dreadful loneliness is killing me. I have never felt like this before and I dont know how to deal with it??? a part of me is missing and theres any empty space. I miss love and affection from another adult - a significant other. My son is lovely but my heart is breaking for a partner who wont be back. | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 6/15/2005 3:02:59 PM |
the guy was not right for me, and in fact was very WRONG for me
I know all too well about someone not being right for you... | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 6/20/2005 1:52:05 PM | Here's some advice:
Goal : Limit your time to think on the subject !
1.limit your time alone
a. spend more time with family & friends.
b. spend more time with your hobbies.
c. create a new hobbie
d. when you are alone,have plenty of thing to keep you occupied... latest movies,new books,new music cd/dvd video game...
e. try something positive to give your self confidence: dieting,working out, etc... the working out does great for me because it relieves alot of stress & anger!
f. have things around that make you happy. fav movie,fav book,fav music cd
g. call or write an old friend or family member
h. do new things with your children: fishing,camping,eating out,trip to the mall,see a movie,go bowling.
i. boost up your spiritual life to help you get through this rough trial in your life. find a good bible believing church & read your bible & pray,goto every service
k. you think you feel bad go visit a homeless shelter,goto an old folks home,goto the hospital,go meet some va members.you will soon realize that things aren't that bad after all ! | |
|
mack
|
Joined: 1/7/2005
Msg: 60 | |
| |
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 6/20/2005 3:42:40 PM | I know how you feel--as it seems a lot of us do. I was with my boyfriend for 2 years. We ha the house, the car, the dog, the pool..etc. One morning he woke up and said... "im done". That was it. He got up, packed a few things and left for 4 days. He didnt call/write or anything.
When he came back I moved out---stunned and shocked. He is with someone else now and was the last month we were together.
It was like a sucker punch to the stomache. I hate the fact that I sit and cry and hes out with her. But, I am grieving. And when I am finished =---I'll be stronger than ever and over him.
It happened for a reason--as did your situation. We may never know or understand that reason--but we have to have hope that someone knows what the hell they are doin up there....
Keep you chin up. Hold your kids close...they will get you through this. I have no kids, but know Id be lost without the people in my life.
It still hurts, and will hurt for a while....but I (and you) (and all of us) will get through this.
Cheers
Cuddlebug | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 6/20/2005 4:34:08 PM | ifuwish2, alot of people will tell different things. All I can tell you is that time heals all wounds. Some wounds take longer than others but they eventually heal. You can do things to help them heal. It is a bit harder for you since alot of your free time si taken by your little ones. I know first hand since I've been hurt badly and then kicked when I was down. I have two little ones that have made the healing process longer since I don't have "me" time. If crying is all you can do, by all means cry. Crying is self-solice. I know because for many years I couldn't cry to myself. Don't know why, just couldn't, eventually not being able to cry caught up with me. As far as looking for someone to fill that void in your heart....be sure you are ready. I broken heart is not a steady one and you can hurt that person or fall even lower if they hurt you.
Best wishes. | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 6/20/2005 4:55:54 PM | I think we all have had our own similar situations....or we wouldn't be on this site, would we?
I left an abusive marriage over 7 years ago. It wasn't easy and the loneliness was horrible. Of course after time passed and I got more perspective on the situation, I knew it was the best thing I ever did for myself. I am enjoying the freedom of being single (it does have a lot of bonuses), but still miss having that special someone. But, I don't worry too much or dwell on it. If it never happens, so be it. I have loved, been loved and have great friends, great job and a busy complete life. I consider myself very lucky and the happiest I have been in years.
Have you considered some counseling? Do you have a good friend to talk to?
You obviously are a great person and father. Lots of positives and that is what you need to focus on.
You might not even realize the vibe you are putting out there. Keep upbeat and don't be looking too hard. You know the saying, "when you least expect it"...........
I know it is hard, but hang in there. I do believe that good things happen to good people. | |
|
| |
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 6/21/2005 12:29:01 AM | meditate.
congratulate yourself for being a real man and taking care of your children.
remind yourself that nobody can make your life happy but yourself. if you aren't complete without someones attention you wont be complete with it. | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/6/2005 1:10:19 AM | I am new to this site and was just reading around but this one caught my attention and I wanted to respond. I cannot believe that for 5 yrs not one single woman has shown interest in you, what I can believe that there has been and you and other men like you that cry about being alone are alone because you dismiss some women based on looks alone. Not pretty enough, not skinny enough, too skinny, has kids, not a good enough job....and so on.
I have been dismissed by men who won't even chat to bigger girls and that for me is great cause it saves me wasting my time. So maybe take a closer look at who is chatting with you, smiling at you, tryin to make an effort to get to know you only to be turned away and then you still sit alone and wonder why that is.
Feeling so alone is one of the worst feelings in the world because you think no one else can really understand what it feels like, but hey, pretty much all of us are here because we're looking for someone to fill a void of some kind. I am the first to admit that there has to be some kind of initial attraction but sometimes we're too quick to dismiss pple based on looks alone. Personally I'd rather have someone I can talk to not just look at.
~Jaded~ | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/6/2005 5:08:08 AM | well listen guys we dont have to cry to any more i know thats its not easy to control over emotion but why we cry if some one leaves us then its his or her fault not us.so cheer up guys i think we have to fight agaisnt our emotion be strong innerself.i wish u best of luck to all .i dont wana see any broken heart cry!!!!!!!!!!!!
urs monty!!!!!!!!!!1 | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/6/2005 5:51:18 AM | to ifuwish2 AND cda: dudes, i'm almost 42, and my first wife didn't leave me fasrt enuff! ...i don't kno how many OTHER men she slept w/ while we were married, an' really don't care! all i kno, is i'm the one who felt like it was MY fault, an' was left w/ no self-esteem!
the love of my son, and my faith in GOD, are what got me thru the 2 YEARS it took b4 i could date again, and the love of your kids, and your GOD are what'll get YOU thru it...! there IS a light at the end o' the tunnel, and it ain't no train!
mike | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/6/2005 6:45:00 AM | Alright holmes, first of all, I say ditto to all the encouraging words all the people have given you thus far. Hang in there champ.
Secondly, and more importantly, you HAVE to cut the desperation sh!t. Your profile, and your posts reek of desperation. Believe me, it’s not a turn on. Women do not want to be with a guy who has had all else fail in life, and would be willing to be with anyone. That’s not the way to make her feel special.
It’s one thing to be tender hearted, that’s good. But women want to be with a strong man, who has a tender heart. You have beautiful children to share life with. Focus on that. You MUST find fulfillment and joy in the family, and life that you have going on NOW, before a woman is going to want to be a part of it.
A sob story will get plenty of online shoulders to cry on. But a positive attitude, and a genuinely happy life ‘despite’ will close the sale. So my advice to you: Chang your profile. Take out all the “lonely’s.” And do the same in life.
 | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/6/2005 6:58:01 AM | Ok there was a person who taught me this saying and i'm gonna share it with you its help i've been engaged twice and married none so when i start feeling like i miss those who were important to me ithink of this.
nothing hurts like a broken heart and nothing burns like ice,
nothing heals like a mothers kiss and nothing cures like time. | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/6/2005 7:07:03 AM | | Same here, last night, I had a big emotional breakdown. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who goes through this. I just want someone to want me. | |
|
anne c
|
Joined: 5/20/2004
Msg: 72 | |
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/6/2005 7:24:57 AM | ALONE I STAND
I stood upon a hilltop feeling sad and cold
Shrouded in a soft white mist my bones felt so old
It drifted here and drifted there just like a soft white cloud
Where from it comes or where will it go
No one seems to know
The darkness came oh so fast just like a sudden storm
I felt my heart begin to beat, will there be a storm?
I turned and ran, fear in my heart
Oh what shall I do?
Just run and run from what?
I just do not know
I heard a scream come through the night
My heart beat even faster
What could it be what was that sound
Would I ever know?
I saw a light in the distance, shining oh so bright
Was this my salvation?
I wondered aloud
As I ran so fast towards that light.
Brighter and brighter the light did glow
Was my life to be spared I thought on this cold and dreadful night
Would devils and goblins that roamed that night let me go free?
To be with my angel is all I require,
To be with my angel is my one desire
So as I reached the light and warmth
I knew my life was spared
To go and search for my one desire
A golden haired angel, who with me my life will share,
To raise our children, grow old together.
To share our dreams and live forever
For now I knew that together, our lives would be
One happy dream
In each other’s arms forever.
With you my darling I will be
hi thought this might cheer you up such lovley words to hold on to take care life will turn around one day for you keep up the faith anne xx | |
|
| |
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/6/2005 10:02:04 AM | nothing hurts like a broken heart and nothing burns like ice,
nothing heals like a mothers kiss and nothing cures like time.
Doesn't fire burn worse than ice?
?
just having some fun.... | |
|
| I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/6/2005 10:12:51 AM | | no once you've been burnt ny ice it damages the nerve endings to the point that they can never heal themselves like frost bite once so much is done they can't heal it. | |
|
|
| Page 3 of 13
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 |
|
Home
login 
