Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 executivemechan
Joined: 4/6/2007
Msg: 201
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!Page 9 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I'v been married twice to a couple of girls that left me with the kids both times.
Their mistake in both cases they wanted to come back, bot sorry no chance to late !!!!!!!
If she left you with the kids then she is s--t and your lucky she could have stopped with you and just f-----d up your mind totaly.
Now you have to get out and find some good singles events.
If your in the North West email me maybe I can help.
If not try Modern Jive , its fantastic, heres the address for a venues throughout UK.
http://www.uk-jive.co.uk/region-list.asp?RegionID=5
If theirs nothing in your area try Salsa, its everywhere.
You have to stop worrying about women, just get out to make friends and enjoy yourself.
The secret is dancing, women are in love with anyone who can dance, theres nothing worse than looking hungry for women, they will avoid just, be happy, dance the night away, they will be queing up.
Bernard
 carlyvan
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 202
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/12/2007 4:59:24 PM
Crying helps alleviate the pain, and what kind of advice is that, that if you cry they are winning, crying is part of the healing process, so let the man do what is best anyway. He has emotions and is acting normal, and nobody should fault him for that. GJJ
 lyndi
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 203
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/12/2007 5:06:08 PM
Hello ifuwish2. I know exactly how you feel. I have felt that way on and off most of my life. Too bad you live so far away from me...we are very much alike you and i. Except i have never even been married. I know the pain, the emptiness ..the ache..sometimes i hold my pillow cause i just want to feel something next to me..it is sad. I too get sick of hearing..there is someone for everyone..yours will come...it will happen...dont look it will come..etc. Years upon years upon years i am not getting any younger either.. well i wish i could offer some encouragement..only know this..you are not alone in how you feel. It is normal i think ..cause i do it too.
take care..and try not to give up.
k
 LadyJailer
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 204
view profile
History
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/12/2007 5:10:11 PM
Honey you are not alone!!! Sometimes I think the whole world is crying at night when we are alone. I was divorced 2 years ago and I still haven't gotten over it completely. But that was a 22 year long marriage that I thought was going fine. He just up and left and I was totally devastated. I felt like I had wasted 22 years of my life. I am still struggling to get on with my life and it is hard. Everyone says it will get better but I am beginning to wonder. All I do is work. You are lucky to have the kids and they are probably better off with you anyway. It will get better, hang in there.
 Singlemale1962
Joined: 9/21/2006
Msg: 205
view profile
History
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/12/2007 5:25:50 PM
I have found at least for me the best way to wipe away my tears is to dry someone else's.

And laughter is a better way than even that.

have to find strength within yourself to make it better.
 Gravity_Vortex
Joined: 12/18/2006
Msg: 206
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/12/2007 5:26:28 PM
Ya...once you hit that big 4-0 in life with each passing year the chances get less and less. I know where your coming from...me I am trying to forget it and somehow find a way in which I can loose myself in work so I do not have think of what life has given me...or should I say...taken away from me. But every time I walk in the door I all I hear is the deafing sounds of silence. I go to bed and asleep in silence and awake into the same deafing sounds of nothingness. Its been so long now for me...I am not even sure I can be with anyone anymore. I could say so much more....but whats the point.
 Kodiak8
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 207
view profile
History
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/12/2007 5:38:59 PM
I know where your comming from, my wife died and it's been 9 years and I still cry over her loss. However you do have one good thing to think about, the **** is still alive and the guy that took her is stuck with her I hope and ruining his life. Hopefully he is running around with girls younger than him and now your ex knows what a **** she is.
Good luck finding a new and better woman, sounds like the better part wouldn't be hard but finding one is a problem however.
Kodiak8
 sirkana
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 208
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/12/2007 5:52:34 PM
Of all the symptoms of a broken heart the loneliness is by far the worst. It catches you off guard. After dealing for months even years with the anger, sadness and rage all of a sudden out of nowhere you find yourself in this deep pit of loneliness and despair. It feels like the Hell depicted in the Passion of Christ movie where satan is sitting all alone in a huge void. Having gone through this myself I have cried out to God many a night to get me out of this living nightmare. That helped a little because if I wouldn't have cried out I would have felt thatl the loneliness would eat me alive. But, there is some good news in all of this. Having done my homework on the grieving process it is the loneliness that is the last symptom of the process. Work your way through the loneliness which is more a matter of coping with it than getting rid of it and you are home free. The other good news is that if you feel this way after the loss of an important relationship it means that you are in fact "normal". The loneliness also means that you have at one time actually experienced love . You said so yourself when you wrote "but my heart begs for a soft word and the touch of love that used to be". Life runs in cycles and if you felt love once you will surely feel it again but first you have to complete all the stages of your grief. Give yourself as much time as you need as everyone is different. In the meantime change your focus to your children and to yourself. Do all the things you never had a chance to do while in your relationship. The best of luck to you. Believe it or not it will get better. It just takes time.
 imagi
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 209
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/13/2007 4:25:03 AM
Let me ask you this my friend:

What sort of loving person would ever leave someone for someone else?

LOVE DOES NOT DO THAT

Your ex had it good with you. But she wasn't a person who could fall in love genuinely.
She went with a younger person, but what happens when she gets older and that younger person leaves her?
You must realize something: Those who do bad really just feel bad in themselves.

Many thousands of people are crying around the planet right now.
There are beings who are concerned for the welfare of people and animals on Earth, who watch over us. I know it because I've seen and communicated with some of them.

Even though Im a reputable psychic medium in Canada, and I know that we are never alone, I sometimes get lonely and have cried alone as well.

What you must realize is this: You are caught in a trap that the ego has created for you to stay stuck suffering. The trap is "Im alone, and no one loves me".
God is real and so you can actually literally look up to the cieling and say "God I'm giving this to you. Please take all this loneliness"
Everytime you cry, just keep giving it to God. Lay still and release your body and every thought and feeling that comes into your mind, release it and give it to god. You can even try visualizing sending it "into the light".

When we give our life to God, God gives it back healed and perfect. And you are healed in that process.

Now: I know youre a hard working father.
but
You should consider volunteering in an old age home. Or volunteering to counsel or help people in some way through your community.
When you do acts of kindness and loving people who actually NEED love, you will increase your level of vibrations and start attracting more love into your life.
You get what you give.

Stop giving desperation and "needyness" and start going out to help people who need it like the ones in the old age home.
Maybe Mildred down the hall has a cute single daughter your age!
 shifty13
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 210
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/13/2007 11:40:38 AM
I feel your pain on this. I still sometimes sit up at night and cry too. Sometimes things seem unbearable especially when you did everything you could to love and respect that person and they dont return the same. I sometimes sit and wonder where i went wrong and what i can do to not let it happen again. But really all you can do is just pick yourself up and try again. Its a hard thing to do belive me I struggle with it everyday but I feel once you hit that low point the only way to go is up!
 FabulousSmile
Joined: 4/9/2007
Msg: 211
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/13/2007 1:07:08 PM
i've done it ocassionally....not as much as i use to mind you. i do often sit an think...why am i feeling this emptiness in my life . i have everything i could possible want....a good job....very independant..a good home...a good life actually...no complaints...just no one to share my life with....its perfectly normal to feel this way...so i hear...an thats ok too...cause with everything we feel in time it passes. so yes i am sure we all feel lonely from time to time...everyone does.....an many will work 24-7 or really keep busy with an interest...just to avoid feeling lonely. your not alone.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 212
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/13/2007 4:29:34 PM
I stopped hurting inside when it finally dawned on me - that I had hurt inside the entire 20 years. Not *just* since she went off into the wild blue yonder. The ENTIRE 20 years.

I read this somewhere ...

“I bless you with love and I release you from my life”.

I more or less said that last August and .................. STOPPED picking up the phone when she called. She called often and came over once in a while.

What I actually said was “so long my old friend”. We were actually friends - I just made it a NO CONTACT kind of thing.

Sure .... I am alone but ..... I was ALWAYS alone and rationalized it away for all those years.

It is one heck of a lot easier to be alone (be by myself) that to be alone in the same house your spouse lives in. To be alone when she was 25 foot away. To know for all those years ... I really was not all that important to her.

We have to accept the fact that ...... it is none of our business anymore.

We have to become more interested in the future - the possibilities of the future.

We have to draw the curtain shut on the past.

We have to learn - be reminded - to become the best person we can be. We need to do that for not only ourselves but for the other person that very well may come into our lives someday.

We have to “have love” in order to “give love”
 FabulousSmile
Joined: 4/9/2007
Msg: 213
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/16/2007 9:55:54 AM
i dont want to sound negative in any way but after meeting new associates and being out in society for the last year an what i heard and saw...i couldnt believe it ..i cringe just thinking bout it.....not a life i want to be in...sooo being alone isnt so bad after all, least from my experiences. what a night mare...and a sad society ...what a way to be living life.
 Audial Liaison
Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 214
view profile
History
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/16/2007 10:37:19 AM
Your not the only one, there are many feeling this absence. Im sorry to hear what has happened to you, many could learn from your situation, sometimes, you feel as if you yourself are meant to be a living example so other can learn from, and not have the same result. Faced with imaginary realities like that, you feel hopeless and its totally understandable, yet not a reality. You have much more to give, yet you like many, are not able to see it, and perhaps never will. It is something only a significant other can really make you see by acknowledging it within you.
Your tears are a release, a release of the pain that washes over you day by day, and builds up to a point, you absorb it like a sponge with each passing wave, and then release it at night, only to allow yourself of pain and function yet one more day after. Coasting on fumes it feels like as the hollowness itself, begins to fill you with an absence of the world.

the only thing that can counter this, is hope, and self appreciation.

"I never wanted much from life...oh thats what i got"

Do not lose hope, it is the only fabric strong enough to hold together the weakened threads of your existence.
Online is good, but dont give it the pedestal it might appear to have because so many use it from many locations.


we are all victims here,...some of ourselves.
Dont give up hope my friend,...

this message brought to you by: Someone, who has become quite dark
 hollytt
Joined: 12/15/2007
Msg: 215
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 3/31/2008 10:56:54 AM
Man Up! You are interesting. Youre a beautiful person. Why does your life depend on what others think?........move on and be happy within your self. Find a new hobby....get a new puppy....or maybe go back to school........Stop being the victum>>>>>>>>>Holly
 Friendseeker2
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 216
view profile
History
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 3/31/2008 5:00:20 PM
I totally understand....My exwife, whom I was married to for 21 yrs, was my best friend all of those y ears...has been gone for 6 months....She chose a bar, and several guys over me.....

I still cry at night all the time....Cry at work on occasion...Not a good thing, because of my work environment....and actually, I am crying right now....

I miss her....really do....but after 6 months, I miss just having someone I can care for, someone I can spend time with, someone to talk to....dont know if I cry because of her, or if I cry because I am so lonely....
 littlewin
Joined: 3/21/2008
Msg: 217
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/1/2008 2:26:07 PM
I have not even been out on a "real" date in two years. At night when I go to fall asleep my arms feel so empty. My last relationship the man would abuse me and then hold me and tell me how much he loved me. The thing is I still miss that feeling, I know that abused women go through this. I am just tired of crying myself to sleep over not having something that was not real in the first place.
I hate those first few minutes of trying to fall asleep reaching out into emptiness...
I am one to stay up very late in hopes that I fall asleep fast and I won't cry...
 morjen16
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 218
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/1/2008 2:51:43 PM
guys you dont cry alone, it took along time but i finally found what i was looking for. remember what your mother said was true "you have to kiss alot of frogs before you find that prince or princess". she is out there dont ever give up she may be the next one you see. if you need a friend look me up i have been where you are , i know what it is all about. Always make sure your kids come first and the rest will fall into place.

remember it will happen
 Ima Lady
Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 219
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/1/2008 2:59:48 PM
^^I'm opposite, can't wait for bedtime, so I can escape, what I feel all day. Geeze Louise.
Why would someone leave all of us??????????????????? or 'abuse' any of us!!!???
 kwh56
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 220
view profile
History
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/1/2008 3:09:01 PM
Well my wife of 23 years out of the blue told me she had filed for divorce and wouldn't even give me a reason. It started out she had the kids but a drinking problem she acquired after the divorce led to her losing the kids to me. I admit there were tough times but you know what? You have your kids like I do and that makes it all worth it to me. Anymore I see her for what she is A big loser! Yes a female would be nice but thats actually more of a want rather than a need. I focus on my children and then if I have free time me.
 sn0wdr1ft
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 221
view profile
History
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/1/2008 3:38:26 PM
well... I can't even imagine how much that must hurt... I've experienced loneliness and I still do, it sucks. I will tell you one thing though, if you want to find another woman, BE STRONG! Depression is a repellent for women, and if they see your sadness you're done. You have to MAN UP and ACT STRONGER THAN YOU ARE! That's about the best advice someone less than half your age can give you :P Good luck man.
 hennypenny54
Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 222
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/1/2008 8:52:40 PM
To all of you feeling lonely and unloved, and I am in the same boat too, try reading a book called "live, laugh and love again" written by 4 women who survived divorce and all the same things we all feel. We need to think about ourselves for a change and reach out to others as often as we can. Find a great therapist and talk it all out. Be proactive and renew your faith in God. One door closes another opens and this has all happened for a reason.
 Kundalinifan
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 223
view profile
History
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/2/2008 4:19:17 AM
Ron9, this thread seems to have gone for 2 years and yours is a really uplifting, practical and useful reply. I am going to use it - bless them and let them go. Thank you.
 elaine65
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 224
view profile
History
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/2/2008 11:30:23 AM
I dont know if u are still going through your pain. I to was dumped by my partner of ten years it as been a year and half now. I still cry at night ,thought we where going to be together for ever i was heart broken when he left i could of easily ended my life. But i have tried to be strong, pick myself up and move on .Every day i think about him and if hes happy with his new partner. I live in hope that one day i too will find someone that i will love again and that will love me and be faithful. I hope u do to they say if u have loved and been loved u will again. lets hope so take care elaine Hull.
 mushortgurl03
Joined: 12/20/2007
Msg: 225
view profile
History
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/2/2008 12:12:43 PM
I'm there with you OP. I cry at night every so often because my queensize bed feels so lonely. But I hope that one day it will be filled. Right now I take the tears as a means to let out frustration every so often. Once it becomes a daily thing, something else is up.
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!