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| | Women's Financial StatusPage 4 of 27 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27) | ^^^^Now you stop that crying honey!
By your post, you have done very well for yourself! We have all had our financial setbacks and have done our best to recover from them. Look at all you have accomplished and be proud. Anyone ever says something to me about what I supposedly "should have" at this stage of my life, can kiss my patootie! | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 7/30/2008 10:00:18 AM |
Subsitute the word women for men and I believe you'll have the answer you seek.
That is exactly what I am doing. BTW, I don't seek any answers. I've already figured that out some time ago. | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 7/31/2008 3:28:38 AM | Pick a spot, and become the best in the world at it. Fact is, time goes by regardless. So what do you want to do in the mean time? This doesn't mean you have to do school full time either. But a few good crash courses will do wonders for a career. You can even get a discount by auditing courses instead of looking for credits (sit in and do the work, but without the exams). And most businesses would scoop a fresh adult before a new grad, and fast track them to boot! Maturity in business is in short supply these days and is worth its weight in gold. I assume that the baby boomer problem is the same in the States as it is for us in Canada. If so, you'll be happy to know that 60% of management will be retired in the next 5 years. Opportunity isn't knocking, it's leaning on the freaking door bell!
sam-spade, I really like your message above. As a woman who has been in business with the same partner for over 30 years and now that partnership is rounding down to a close, I've been quite discouraged by the fact that I didn't think I'd be able to find something else to do. While I am excellent at what I do, it is a specialised business, one that would probably transfer well into other industries, but at my age it isn't easy to believe that people will respect the experience that comes with years of hard work!
As for the OP question, I've often been questioned right off the bat about what my financial status is. I am not about to provide a financial statement to someone who is fishing to find out if I am capable of supporting myself, if it isn't apparent after 30 years for bringing up 3 children without child support, then I don't think the person is deep enough to know much more about me.
As for my financial position vs his, well I guess for me it would have to do with what he has to bring to the relationship that is honest and genuine.... the roller coaster can dip for reasons other than irresponsibility, I'd have to know a person well to give an educated opinion of the situation. | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 7/31/2008 4:42:06 AM | | it's hard for me to let a woman pay . My ex ALWAYS EXPEXCTED me to pay . I am 42 never married . no kids . I make $7 an hour . I am happy . I know some who make $10 and are NOT happy . ladies , let it flow . most of us men don't care if , you can pay for us to go to paris . all we really like is for YOU to be with us . | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 7/31/2008 6:51:15 AM | | I feel there should be a forum on Men's Financial Status. It seems more women than men are financially secure, have taken care of things in order to be that way. I'm finding a lot of men out there that seem to be looking for someone to take care of them, either financially or mommylike. I fell for both in one person and despite the fact that he was a lot of fun in the beginning it tends to get wearisome when you are the sole supporter and there is nothing coming from the other side, both financially and emotionally. Now, I'm a lot more cautious and looking for someone with equal assets, income, values, etc. | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 7/31/2008 7:59:37 PM | When you're over 45 I think it works best when you're on equal ground. I don't mind sharing on dates. If I can't afford to take a trip I won't go. I think everyone over 45 is saving for retirement, and dating can be expensive no one person she be expected to pay for everything. | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 8/1/2008 5:21:30 AM | Paying your own way for a trip may mean you can affort a bus ticket, not a cruse line sooooooooooooooo all I can say is if you can support yourself and stay out of financial debt, and being in a relationship with someone doesn't put you or them in financial debt,then all is good.
I wholeheartedly agree....it's one thing to be able to support yourself & be debt-free, but it's difficult to keep your head above water if you are paying your own way for things you can't comfortably afford. I hope that when I meet someone special, he will be at least as independant as I am....and have a similar respect for money. | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 8/1/2008 5:31:03 AM | | Henry....shame on you. If there are women out there who see things this way - just get rid of them - most of us aren't like that & besides, we are not awarded anything less than fair. | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 8/1/2008 3:52:34 PM | I am a woman who is 47 years old and even though I own a nice house, drive a new car, and have money saved in a 401(k) along with a pension plan, I am nowhere close to feeling financially secure.
Like myself, there are many women out there who have raised children by themselves with no support from their ex's. My ex never believed in supporting his children, so of course the responsibility fell on me, which included me having to work two jobs and sometimes up to 14 hours a day.
Now that my children are grown and working, I am finally able to stick a little more away each month in order to be closer to where I feel I should be financially. But, like I said, because there are so many women who don't or who did not receive the child support they were entitled to, I don't think you can expect too many women 45+ to have their mortgage paid (unless of course they don't have kids or were lucky enough to get child support). | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 8/2/2008 4:11:40 AM | why womens financial status? Im not particularly politically correct- but maybe better as persons financial status. Ive always mostly paid my own way. I wouldnt have a problem either of us paying more if one person was well able to. But neither am i a user- honesty and no deceit.
I say on my profile solvent man and have qualified it as able to support yourself- as I dont have enough to support another if they are really brassic.
And just loving someone is enough I hear others say- but it dosnt last if you meet someone who cant pay their own way and expects you to fork up when you barely have enough to meet your own committments.
And at the end of the day- I guess if you really get on- Id hope to find a compromise! | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 8/3/2008 11:00:00 AM | Thanks for your kind words and inspiration, Moonchild. Because I heard it again, this past weekend, and I remembered what you said, "kiss my patootie"......and I told him to do just that!
Sometimes I'm just too "nice" to people who are verbally abusive, because I don't want to sink to their bottomfeeder level....but not THIS time! | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 8/4/2008 8:08:48 AM | I am going to play the devils advicate here, I have dated women with out money and dated women with money -it not what you have in finicial assets and securities in your life but how you "MANAGE IT"
In a dating relationship one learns how the others --S/O -- respects money by thier spending habits? The "KEY" is to watch and observe the others spending habits to see if they balance with your- a misser and a misser will be compatable - yet a spender and a misser won't work-- in some atmospheres!
The outcry that Its my money when I earn it and its your money when you earn it in a marriage is self centered and can ruin a realtionship with out common goals and investments for the future? A off balanced financial atmosphere is very common today in many relationship and marriages!
I have expereinced women wanting to" BUY" their way in a loving ralationship - which shouldn't work at all? Nor a man shouldn't buy their way in a relationship- the key again is respect the assets of the other - try to compromise on the value of the dollar --each to their own about their attitude of fininacial stability and status.
I am a firm believer that what i come into a relationship is mine in the long run (depending on the number of offspring on each side) and yours is yours in the long run (at our age in time)! What we gain in a permanent (marriage )relationship is ours gained by mutual respect and goals- till the misfortune - of a separation of any kind be ---it divorce or death! I wish the courts saw it that away but sometimes --somewhere the courts went astray? JMHO | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 8/4/2008 10:07:18 AM | Classic Man, you are correct.....there is "too much drama" surrounding money in today's dating atmosphere.....it makes hanging out and torturing the cat an attractive alternative to trying to date (no, I didn't ask the cat what she thought about it!) | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 8/4/2008 10:15:07 AM | | A bank account is just one tiny piece of the puzzle. Take me for instance. I had a huge house, pool, blah blah. I was sick of the corporate sector and wanted to come back to school for my degree in Social Work. I sold lots of stuff, gave away lots of stuff and live in a cozy apartment now. School takes many $$. I don't starve. I have decent clothes, more food than I need (so my scales tell me), money to buy what I need and travel when I need to. But if you looked at my bank account on any given day, you'd never be able to tell that. You'd think I was poor as a church mouse. And my $$ potential is going up up up with each A I make! | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 8/4/2008 10:32:05 AM | Having a huge house and a huge debt with the mortgage does not make one financially secure, nor does driving that expensive car that you must make payment on each and every month.
The financial status of a potential is important as we mature and potentially have more because time and work has allowed that to happen. It is not the only item to look at, nor is it the main one, but we are all deceiving ourselves if we deny the fact that being financially secure is important for both genders.
I guess what is important will be the quality of the one I am interested in and all that is a part of that person, including finances.......
Just as I look to see if the one I am interested in wants to have more children, I will also be interested in knowing if that person can hold their own financially with me as well. I do not want to start another family, and I do not want to have to begin at the ground up dealing with debt and financial insecurity.
I am at the age that having a decent retirement is important, liquidity of assets that are available, health insurance that is maintained and available long term, little credit card debt, and a rating that is sufficient that you do not need another to help you make it, because you can not on your own.
Just as most women will look to see if the one they are very interested in can hold his own financially, and support the relationship equally if not more......many men will do the same because equality is really what we want, and not control.
Just my opinion........   | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 8/4/2008 6:34:03 PM | | Interesting....I had my guidelines as well: which promptly flew out the window when I got involved with my boyfriend. He was laid off in the Fall, went through his assets and retirement...lives from paycheck to paycheck. But I see he's a hard worker, intelligent, striving towards a new career. Things happen. I see and admire all of his qualities and what he brings to the relationship - money just isn't one of them right now. I'd rather have his company at the local diner than someone less kind/communicative/considerate in Paris anyday! | |
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jedi4
| | Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 93 | |
| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 8/18/2008 7:57:52 AM | Very good post c_deacon
having saved for a decent retirement in today's day and age is very important.. | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 8/18/2008 10:05:12 AM | | Just speaking for myself, I'm a finacially secure woman, and I wouldn't get involved with any man that wasn't. At our age we do have to protect our interests. | |
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Posted: 8/18/2008 5:29:57 PM | I am the type of guy that does not care what you have. I dont care if you make $4 an hour and live at home with mom. I would sign any pre nup I dont want your house, car, money. I just want a loving relationship.  | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/25/2012 11:32:20 AM |
So, I am getting the attitude that I should participate financially 50/50, otherwise I am a gold-digger.
Yes, me too.
What a great thread this is. I feel so much better after reading some of the posts in this thread. It’s wonderful to remember that I’m not alone, especially after encountering so much judgment and condemnation from some men in the 50-65 age range because I don’t have financial assets accumulated comparable to theirs. It was because of different priorities, that I am proud of and don’t regret. I’m not in debt, and not looking for a sugar daddy at all! But to be labelled a gold-digger because a man with similar education, career and family has more than I do at this stage of the game, is to miss some really big pieces of the puzzle. It’s just not an either/or black/white equation. Good thread. | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/25/2012 4:37:00 PM | Yes, thanks for this thread. I've learn a quite a bit with all different view points.
While I would like to say money is not that important, I'm not so sure. Putting aside everything else, would you give up your lifestyle to be with someone, no matter how nice or responsible they are financially if they are many level down in finance parity? Its a tough question as that person can (and this is big if) potentially be your ideal partner for life (with everything else being a match) vs giving up part of your lifestyle to be with that person.
I would hope that I would choose the former just to find out the possibility but since I haven't run into that scenario, can't really say. | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/25/2012 6:08:44 PM | Financial parity is not as important to me as financial responsibility is.
If someone makes a lot less and has a lot less, and has a good reason for that (type of work they do and love to do, vs. can't keep a job), but still has lived within their means and not accumulated a ton of debt, I'm cool with that.
I have no problem treating this type of person/friend/lover when I can. I also have no problem doing something on my own if they cannot afford it and I cannot afford to treat them. If *they* hold that against me, well, we have a new and different problem. | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/25/2012 11:02:18 PM | | All i can do is speak from my exp. I noticed that many women my age dont have much to show money wise. It seems most of them after talking to them seemed to spend money as fast or faster then they made it. Anywhere from buying outfits, shoes, going out to eat and doing nails. Many of them drive cars they cant realy afford. Living the high life. For me I like to be responsible with my money. Not realy crazy about dating women like that. Seen plenty of guys spend way too much money keeping women like that intrested in them. Im not working and helping someone else with there bills. I know women like for the guy to pay the bills when out on vacation. But I wont, If she cant afford to in the payment then we dont go. I belive in equal right which including money as well. I realy the idea when a women says well if the guys take me out for dinner I would be more then happy to cook dinner at home as well once in a while. Hello Thats the easy way out home cooked dinner cost 1/4 as much as going out. Its not how much money a woman makes but she likes going out and live the the good life she need to be able to pay her own way. If she cant she shouldn't expect the guy to pay most of it but ratch down her spending a few notches. I know guys who spend way more then then can afford and lots of time it would be trying to impress the women. It just i see it more with women here in LA who do that. There is no way I'm helping someone pay rent or car payment. Or Wine and dine them all over the city with hopes that they just might like me lol. I want to date someone on same footing. The idea that a man should always treat a woman is out dated. | |
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| Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/25/2012 11:30:05 PM | I agree that women should pay their way and they dont feel obligated to have sex when they dont really want to and have their own power. It is a more equal world and expecting a man to fork out all the time, is not really on. Men typically like a woman with assets naturally, but there is no hard and fast rule really. Men who can afford to be fussy may expect this and that but you can bet your boots that they dont expect it of the younger hotter woman. We all know the dynamics there.
I like a man who wants to treat me occasionally and to be generous spirited and that is not using or being a gold digger. If a man invites me anywhere then he should pay and then next time I can reciprocate in some way or another. | |
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