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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > What is it with people breaking our hearts?      Home login  
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 steveooh!
Joined: 2/27/2009
Msg: 26
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What is it with people breaking our hearts?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I myself do not believe in friendship after love. No matter what those feelings will always be there. I am going through the same thing right now too, my girl left after almost 2 yrs because she wasnt ready for a relationship right now and it hurts because i miss her. My friends want me to go out with them and i cant because im just too sad but with time all wounds heal. its life and you are going to be sad no doubt but just try to keep your head up and look forward not backwards. Live life for yourself not for someone else and thats what we dont do if we stay sad when the other person breaks our heart.
 marie7266
Joined: 5/15/2009
Msg: 27
What is it with people breaking our hearts?
Posted: 7/23/2009 8:29:20 PM
It's really all very very simple but people tend to complicate things out of fear that if they really let it all go that maybe...just maybe the other was temporairly confused or something.......but it's never the case. Just as you fell in love, it can sometimes just be as easy to fall out of love....you can't blame yourself....and you can't blame him, either as none of us have any control over something like that. You have one choice...and that is to accept it and move on just like he did. If he said "I fell out of love with you" take him for his word....no one would lie about that....and in all honesty, in time you will realize that you would never want to be with someone who no longer loves you anyway....that is not a good life! There will be many other men who would love to make you a priority....not an option! Can you imagine yourself back together with him and how you would feel being with him after hearing him say something like that?? I would rather be alone!
 oldmaid72
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 28
What is it with people breaking our hearts?
Posted: 7/24/2009 6:14:55 AM

If that's the case, know that it will happen many more times in your life but each time it happens, it will hurt less.

That isn't true at all. Multiple relationship break ups do not hurt less and less. How can you even say that? Might hurt less if you didn't care that much about the person. But if you did, then yeah its gonna hurt. Some more, some less.
 *Sassy Redhead*
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 29
What is it with people breaking our hearts?
Posted: 7/24/2009 6:45:08 AM
I think we have to take some personal responsibility in our hearts being broken as well. The blame doesn't always fall to the other person alone. I say this because my heart is breaking as I type this. I have to face up to the fact that I share in the responsiblity for this feeling though for the following reasons:

1. I pursued a faux "relationship" for two years so that I didn't have to make myself vulnerable to a potential real relationship and to protect myself from getting hurt again(yet, I am hurting).

2. I jeopardized my integrity, about a year ago, to be with a man who had "moved his ex wife back into his home for a little while". Never asking about the nature of that relationship I just rationalized around it.

3. I knew that he was emotionally unavailable to me and I continued to have hope that his feelings would change. I allowed him to make me an option in his life and not a priority.

4. I saw the red flags two years ago and chose to ignore them.

So, to the OP my advice would be....look at how you are contributing to your own heart break and make a decision about what you need to do from what you discover about yourself. No one can really tell you what is right for you.
 Natka303
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 30
What is it with people breaking our hearts?
Posted: 7/24/2009 9:33:31 AM
because it is a lot easier to break a heart than mend one.
usually people don't fall back in love. if one day he tells you he still loves you it's because he has realized nothing better is out there. and please do not settle for this guy. he is not worth it.
sure be friends with him but i do agree with other people. see other people. don't hope that one day he will come and apologize and it will be like the old days.
you deserve a lot better. a LOT better. like bucket loads of BETTER.
 prince4heart420
Joined: 12/15/2007
Msg: 31
What is it with people breaking our hearts?
Posted: 7/24/2009 9:50:01 AM
really true .moving ahead is part of life.The persons if reurns to you is not because he or she really loves you but becuase they dont have any one at that point of time in life .The moment they find another they will leave you alone.Well I am not the person who got hurt but yes I have seen many of my friends doing that
 piratebby
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 32
What is it with people breaking our hearts?
Posted: 7/24/2009 1:32:20 PM
There are a few ways you can deal with this. I just recently did something stupid when my ex broked it off with me, and yes i want him back, yes i still have feeling for him, but i realized at this point i need to grow and think about my well being. Because to me it seems as if you are doing what i did. Mooping around thinking about him, not being able to do things with out thinking about him and the things ya did together. Yes everyone said it. It will take time to mend a broke heart, you have that time and use it wisely, Yes you can be his friend but advise him right now, you need to find yourself and when you are ready to just be friends with him and nothing more, you will get in touch with him. till then let me live my own life. you have to be grateful at this point in your life that he let you go. you have to say to yourself that you are a wonderful woman and there is someone out there that one day will see you as that person that you truely are.
 jacob8088
Joined: 9/6/2009
Msg: 33
What is it with people breaking our hearts?
Posted: 9/27/2009 2:04:53 PM
The game is over lady. Time to get your head outa your a** and just move on. Otherwise you can keep going down that spiraling path , thus ending up with a nervous breakdown.
 avante
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 34
What is it with people breaking our hearts?
Posted: 9/27/2009 2:28:00 PM
the best thing to do is don't communicate with your ex for 5 months or cut him off completely for good. Keep yourself busy, go out and date people. You need to accept that your ex moved on and all you can do is wish him all the best. I know that its hard and it hurts, the best thing that you can do is let him be happy and move on.
 dreamslider
Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 35
What is it with people breaking our hearts?
Posted: 9/27/2009 3:01:35 PM
Don't be his friend that's for sure, never be pals with someone you slept with. It will become a virus that eats away at you each and every time. If not you then the other person. Best thing you can do is move on and begin to gain perspective on the relationship itself.
 Wiyan
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 36
What is it with people breaking our hearts?
Posted: 9/27/2009 3:30:43 PM
cut off all contact
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 37
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What is it with people breaking our hearts?
Posted: 10/2/2009 8:07:00 PM
It hurts either way, if you talk to him or not, so try not talking to him for two weeks to give yourself time to let your head clear.

He probably won't come back the same but he will probably miss you and act like it for a couple days after you stop talking to him but remember he does not want a relationship with you.

You don't want to still be talking to him when he finds a new girlfriend, trust me!
 Elisabeth77303
Joined: 8/22/2009
Msg: 38
What is it with people breaking our hearts?
Posted: 10/2/2009 9:39:20 PM
Better not be friends right now. Maybe later on in life but not now. I am so sorry . You have to go through this pain but it will get better. I know it hurts. Get busy try new things. Do not show him your Pain. Cry if it helps but get busy, God made hearts and they can be broken but they also heal and you will fall in love again.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 39
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What is it with people breaking our hearts?
Posted: 10/3/2009 8:36:10 AM
Latingirl,

Its obvious he has chosen a new path for himself for what ever reason he gave you. You have to find your own path to take. Have to look to the future, your future, not his. Remember you have something to give a relationship because you made a go of it for four years. Usually four years is on the verge of when people start considering something more, could of this been someone not willing to committ to something more serious like marrage and family? Either way find someone and start enjoying yourself? Not everyone has the same endevors, know what yours is and if someone elses isnt the same as yours look for someone who has the same intrests.
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